It had been about a week since I visited the Empire. Things were rather silent these past few days. No case requests. No real news or anything. Odd for certain. With Corkscrew having sent my documentation to the Ponyville Press, I expected lots of blowback, but none came. Yet.
Oh well. I was still prepared for the worst as I sipped my morning tea. Yup, tea. That Cheerilee woman had gotten me hooked on the stuff ever since I met her. She said something about coffee staining your teeth, so she quit drinking it also. If that was the case, then I wasn’t about to let my precious pearly whites be affected by it. The Agency’s photos would be ruined!
“Mmm…” You know? Maybe this wasn’t so bad. I had my notes, a warm cup of tea, and my morning donut. Common stereotype among officers, yes. But they were delicious! Regardless, everything was going--
KABLAM!
An explosion went off in my office. Annoying given that the front door was right there. But beyond that, it was startling. I yelled out, “AHH!” and fell out of my chair onto the floor, “Oof!” In a flash, I rose from my position with a freshly sharpened pencil between my teeth. The intent was to make use of it as a self-defense weapon if necessary. “Give up, fool!”
“Ahahaha!” To my utter horror, it wasn’t an attacker after all. Rather, a magician. A blue one. Oh no. I knew where this was going and I did not like it. “Behold the Great and Powerful--also the Guidance Counselor at the School of Friendship--TRRRRIXIE!”
No, no, no. Not this. I was all for fancy tricks, but not from someone like her. Please tell me this was a joke.
“Wha...oh my back,” I relaxed from my position of combat, and readjusted my misplaced spinal cord with a few lateral stretches. Afterwards, I approached the mare, “Ahem--Trixie, is it? Glad to meet you.”
“Thank you! I know it is. I’m here today on behalf of fellow School of Friendship Headmaster Starlight Glimmer with a message!”
“A message?” Curious. I wondered what it could be. I hoped that I didn’t cause any collateral damage to anyone. But if necessary, I would face whatever the problem was. “What is it?”
“...” There was an awkward pause that lingered in the air. It would appear that she focused so much time on her entrance, that she completely forgot the reason she came here. “...One second, if you please.”
“Take your time.”
Her horn lit up, and she started to sift through the confines of her cape for this message. “C’mon you stupid thing where...no…” her light blue magical aura retrieved several objects from within her cape. This included a trick hoof buzzer, a hat with a few sleeping birds inside, a wand, some more of her smoke bombs, and another cape? I had to resist the urge to laugh due to how nonsensical it was.
“Is everything alright?” I asked to avoid an even longer awkward silence.
“No, no! I can handle this!” Normally, that meant the opposite. It would be another five minutes of digging before she retrieved a note. “Aha! Here it is. And now, I shall give you the message--ahem: ‘I want the leader of this Detective Group to come to the School immediately. There’s something urgent we need to discuss.’” And after she read it, she took a bow. Clearly she wasn’t past her showbiz days.
“I see...thank you, Ms. Lulamoon,” I responded while clapping my front hooves together. Being a one-stallion audience wasn’t very easy. “I will attend as soon as I’m able.”
She gave me a questioning gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Oh really? To Trixie, it looks like you’re not busy at all.”
Damn. She had a point. I was found out. No way of escaping this one. Why was it always the mares that caught me in conversation? “Ah...well you’re probably right. I suppose I could head over there now.”
“Excellent! You shall follow Professor Trixie to your meeting!” And she left--thankfully through the door and not with a messy smoke grenade. After taking two steps, she looked back at me over her shoulder with an expectant expression. It was like she was telling me to hurry up.
“Yeah yeah, hang on…” It was too early for this crap. But I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? I put on my coat as always, and left the building to follow the former magician.
“Finally! Starlight Glimmer has a busy schedule you know. It’d do you well to take her more seriously.”
Well that came out of nowhere. I suppose her show-off ponysona is truly just an act. When it came to business, she wasn’t messing around. I respected that. “Apologies. I didn’t have my breakfast yet. I’m not fully cognitive without it.”
“Oh really? If that’s the case, then I’m sorry. I’m sure she can make you something once we get there.”
Yet again, I was being murdered with kindness. All I wanted to do was take care of business, and yet it seemed like hospitality was limitless around here. “That’s quite alright. She doesn’t need to waste her time with that. Really, if her schedule is as busy as it is, then the last thing I’d want is--”
“Are you sure? I mean, there’s an entire snack table for the students if they get hungry. I’m sure she won’t mind.”
Pain. That’s all I felt as I walked with her. My stomach in shambles, I didn’t want to come off as rude for not accepting an offer. “Well, if you’re positive. I’m more concerned about why the message was so urgent.”
“I think I have a hunch as to why that is the case,” Trixie explained, while her horn lit up again. This time, she fetched an item from her cape, and it was the correct one. Thankfully. “The recent newspaper published an article about anonymous opinions from those who think Cozy Glow’s banishment was wrong. Would you happen to know anything about this?” It was a rolled up newspaper that she unfolded with her magic, exposing the front page to me.
“That’s certainly an article, yup.” I would’ve been afraid, had it not been for the fact that I had multiple cover stories. “I read the newspaper same as everyone else.”
“Riiight,” she was not convinced. Rightfully so. I had the plausible deniability card in my hoof. “And I’m sure you also wouldn’t know anything about somepony that visited Princess Cadence last week?”
Shit.
“Oh?”
“Listen, mister. If you’re going to play dumb, then do so at your own risk. But know that we’re not going to stand idly by while you start up a possible city-wide conflict.”
I scoffed, then laughed at the idea. First good laugh I had in awhile, actually. “Pffhahahaha! There’s zero chance of something like that happening. Everyone tends to avoid displaying their opinions in public, especially the unpopular ones. Why? Because of fear. Fear of being ridiculed and judged.”
“Fear, hm? Is that why you went out of your way to conceal the identities of those being questioned?”
“I want no harm to come to them for what they think. Of course I didn’t disclose who they were.”
Her face grew into quite the arrogant smirk. “And yet you still didn’t answer my question regarding Cadence. So are you saying you didn’t go there?”
I mentally groaned. Lying would only make my case look flimsy. “Listen, I had a good reason for it, and--”
“Aha!” she cut me off with a triumphant cackle, “Checkmate! So you did go there!”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Yeah, so?”
Silence. Turns out she didn’t quite comprehend the significance behind my visit to the Empire. The magician mare was just happy to have been proven correct. “So...it means I know more than you as of this instance!” she proudly stomped her hoof on the grass, her eyes shut.
I sighed. How could anyone put up with this for more than an hour? Let alone an entire school day. No way. I continued my relaxed gait towards the School of Friendship. Trixie didn’t notice I had left her behind until she opened one eye, then the other.
“Wha? Hey! You’re under my jurisdiction!” she started running after me.
“Heh,” a younger me would’ve proposed the idea of a race to the destination. But I knew damn well that that would be trouble. I simply allowed her to catch up, only to offer a minor tease instead. “Looks like The Great Counselor Trixie isn’t so perceptive.”
“Silence! Get moving before I put you in detention.”
“With you? Now that sounds like heaven,” I chuckled which only prompted an exasperated groan from the magician/professor. As much as I tried to repress my emotions during my work, it was good to know my sense of humor hadn’t been plucked from my person like a Zap Apple from a tree.
We arrived. Just as I suspected, a race would’ve been foolish. It was a decently-sized castle-like building with a pond out front, and stepping stones on one path that intersected with the main walkway up to the front door. Racing towards something like this would have surely caused a crash into the pond, and possibly the rocks. Not fun.
“Wow,” I said with wide, slightly impressed eyes, “nice architecture. But do you think they could’ve laid off the purple a little?”
“Twilight was the one that opened the place in case you didn’t know,” Trixie clarified the choice of color scheme as she trotted ahead of me, “she’s back in Canterlot now, but this place remains her Modus Operandi.”
“Uh, I think you mean Magnum Opus--but I do think it’s got a nice charm to it.” “Even if the color scheme is off-putting.”
“Well, are you gonna stand there staring all day or are you gonna come?” she looked at me from over her shoulder, her hoof tapped the ground while the door flung open with her magical aura.
“Yes, yes, I’m coming,” I responded and followed her up the path, into the building. The structure was as huge as it was on the inside as it was on the outside. Light blue floors, pale blue walls, long halls, loads of rooms that probably led to different classes. I was in awe over the sheer amount of depth added to make the place look welcoming to any visionary pupil. “...wow. It looks much better in here than it does from out there.”
“Quit it with the sarcastic comments. In here, I am the Counselor!” she boldly stated once more. Much to my lack of paying attention. I was more focused on the area around us. There were no students. Must’ve all been in classes right about now. “Are you listening? I said it’s time for you to get going.”
Her voice snapped me out of my naturally investigative stupor, “Hm? Oh. Which way is the office?”
“Follow me,” and once again, I took off after the blue mare. The office was just at the end of the hall. She pushed the door open for me, and I found the light pink Unicorn sorting through files. “Found him for you!”
“Oh, thank you. Please, have a seat, sir. Pale Vestige, right? I’m Starlight Glimmer.”
I sat at the chair in front of Starlight’s desk. “I’m honored to have been summoned, really. But just--”
However, she wasn’t in the mood for formalities. “I’m just going to cut right to it. We know you visited Cadence in the Empire. She contacted us through a letter, recently. She said she had no idea how to respond to what you told her, and that altering Twilight should be up to us.”
“That being, she and I,” Trixie added, her body leaned against the wall to spectate this little discussion.
“In other words, I’m here to question your intentions,” Starlight leaned forward onto her desk to glare at me, “What are they?”
Well now. I didn’t think such a reaction could be brought out from the Princess of Love. But I suppose I did cause her some mental strain by mentioning her daughter in place of Cozy Glow. Guess that would be something I needed to apologize for later. “Right then, the basis of the interview with the Princess of Love, as well as the articles in the paper is to suss out some things.”
The glare turned more captious, seems the headmaster mare wanted to further question my intent. “Suss out what exactly?”
“Many things. But primarily, the public opinion of Cozy Glow’s imprisonment in stone. I don’t think it was something she deserved.”
Silence filled the air until the mare took a deep breath. “Is that so? You believe that Cozy Glow--someone who betrayed the entire institute, threw away several friendships, allied with the world’s most dangerous enemies, and stole eons worth of powerful magic deserves a second chance?”
“Now wait just a minute,” I wasn’t going down unless it was in a battle of wits, “if I recall correctly, you yourself were the subject of wrongdoing before Twilight extended her hoof to you,” I shot a glance over to Trixie as well, “you were in the same boat too.”
“Uch! I beg your pardon! I didn’t do anything nearly as dangerous as Cozy Glow.”
“Your arrogance brought an Ursa Minor to the town--albeit accidentally--when you first arrived all those years ago, causing loads of property damage. Then you came back and tried to fight Twilight in a duel only to cause more chaos with the Alicorn Amulet. Needless to say, you have skeletons in your closet as well.”
She stammered. Likely aiming to come up with an excuse. “Hey! That Ursa wasn’t entirely my fault--”
Against my better nature, I interrupted her and resumed my rant against Starlight Glimmer. My blood boiled as I rattled off my explanation. “And you. You essentially brought about mind control to a civilization of ponies, forcing them to live how you wanted. You were no better than Tirek or Chrysalis was--even if it was on a smaller scale. You were the worst kind of tyrant. A moral one. One who was so hellbent on fighting an injustice that you forced your ways upon everyone under the guise of freedom. But it wasn’t. So forgive me if I seem judgmental--but Cozy Glow deserves just as much of a chance as the rest of you. Not to mention Discord.”
She sighed in defeat, and leaned back in her chair to put her rear hooves on the table. Yet again, I flew off the handle. The memories of her past definitely weren’t pleasant. I felt a bit errant in my desire to correct things, but to me, it seemed like the only way to get something done. By throwing one’s own sins back in their face. “Listen, I get what you’re saying. But this is very risky. If she were released from her stony prison tomorrow, there would be a host of ponies out there ready to riot over the freedom of one of Equestria’s most diabolical enemies.”
“I know that. That’s why I’m not expecting her to be released tomorrow. Or next week. Or anytime soon for that matter,” I answered confidently to try and repair this mess of a conversation, “It’s going to take time for everyone to warm up to the idea, and I’m prepared to take responsibility for that.”
Starlight sat upright, both surprised and intrigued by my proposition. “Are you sure? Most ponies I’ve come across tend to ramble on and on about what’s wrong with something without bothering to offer a solution. Are you saying you have a way to resolve this?”
“Absolutely. I intend to gather more public opinions--anonymously of course--see what everyone has to say regarding the choice to lock up a child. From there, I’ll go see Twilight in Canterlot myself and see what she has to say.”
Trixie suddenly darted in front of Starlight, which nearly made me jump. “And what if she says no? Are you prepared for that?”
“Woah--ahem. Of course. If she denies me, then it’ll be between her and the public at that point. My job will have been finished.”
Starlight put a hoof over Trixie’s face to push her out of the way, “What do you mean between her and the public?”
“Hey!”
“Well, once I’ve gathered the public consensus regarding her banishment, I’ll go to her. If I’m denied, then the public is going to be aware of the fact that their voices weren’t heard,” I put my hooves up in a half-shrug motion, and laughed to myself, “Heh...at that point, it’ll be out of my hooves. The masses will have their way until things are addressed.”
“Damn. This guy has a complete plan laid out. Is he really who he says he is? How can we believe him at all?” Starlight had her hooves together on the table, she had to be deep in thought right about now. “Gonna have to keep a close eye on him until we know he’s trustworthy.”
“I hope we can hurry this up,” I looked at Trixie. She was leaning against the door once more, likely thinking about what I said as well. “I need to be there for my first class. They have to witness my new ultimate lesson plan!”
“Well then,” Starlight finally broke the silence that filled the room for a good long minute or so. “If you think you can get the honest truth of what ponies think, then I suppose you’re not much of an issue.”
I nodded. “I see. And in case you’re wondering, I don’t intend to cause a ruckus. I’m just an average Earth Pony doing my job. No magic, no crazy tricks. Just searching for clarity. Speaking of which, what do you both think of Cozy being put to stone?”
Another awkward silence with both mares exchanging looks. I didn’t want this to go on for much longer. “Well?”
“If it were up to me, I’d have tried to see what was wrong and why she felt that way,” Starlight admitted. I knew she had to feel something for the child given how close her situation was.
Trixie would speak right after, clearly nervous to be put on the spot for a sensitive subject matter, “Well, foals do crazy things all the time. But nothing as crazy as threatening the whole world. I’m honestly not sure what I would do if it were up to me. The decision of how a pony should be treated for their crimes is a...dubious one.”
“It is. Mainly because this is the first instance of a child getting so far. It’s not easy for any of us to swallow,” I commented on the blue mare’s hesitation, “don’t fret. No one comes to a conclusion overnight. Heck, I didn’t. And I know it’s gonna take a while for everyone to come out about how they feel regarding this incident. Like I said, though, I’m ready to deal with this. This isn’t my first showdown.” I got up from my seat, prepared to take my leave, “Are there any other inquiries from you two?”
“None,” Starlight replied as she went back to sorting through files with her magic. “Thank you for your time Mr--”
“Just Pale is fine, really.”
She smiled at me for the first time since I arrived, “Pale it is. Trixie, would you mind showing him out before heading to your class?”
The blue mare flipped her hair with a dramatic turn of her neck, “Not a problem. This way, Pale!” The overly gallant ponysona returned, as Trixie strutted out of the office.
I looked at Starlight, “Is she...always like this?”
“Yes, but you get used to it. One time I called her down here and she exploded so hard that her messy glitter was all over my room and I. It was sticky as heck and I had to wash my mane for days,” she giggled a bit as she recounted the way her friend acted, “but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Sir, are you coming or what?!” Trixie shouted from down the hall.
“I’d better get going. It was nice speaking to you, Starlight.”
“Yeah, I appreciate you taking the time. Just be mindful, alright?”
I laughed, “Haha. Of course,” with that, I trotted on out, and left the building.
“Listen here, we’re going to know if you do something crazy,” Trixie commented to me as I left, “Don’t be reckless. But have a nice day!”
She waved with her hoof as I left. It’s crazy how she went from stoic to cheerful in a manner of seconds. It was...unnerving to say the least. In any case, I had more notes taken down. Now things were about to get that much more difficult. Who knows how many articles would need to appear in the paper before it got recognized?
“Heh...no matter what it takes.” I said to myself on the way back to my office. But something was amiss as I approached. Someone was trying to knock, apparently looking for services? Or maybe an old brooch. Given that the office was meant to be hidden as an antique store to the average pony, I wondered just what they could want?
I got closer, and it turned out to be a gray mare. An Earth Pony with a musical note cutie mark. A well-known musician, perhaps?
Joyous. Music was not my area of expertise.