//------------------------------// // Episode 84: This Could Have Been Handled Better // Story: Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story) // by BrownDog77 //------------------------------// Human Cadence just continues to stare bafflingly at you all and you can see that her eyes don’t quite seem to be focused. “Uhhh, Cadence?” you try again but she just seems to look through you. “I think her mind broke,” Sonata says as the woman continues to stand stock still. “Yeah, it’s like she can’t even see us,” Aria points out. subhumandegenerate’s Comment “Ah of course! She literally can’t see us, I should have known,” you say coming to an epiphany. “Huh?” asks Adagio. “Don’t move. Her vision is based on movement,” you order as the sirens look at you incredulously. “Excuse me?” Adagio says skeptically. “It all makes perfect sense. Humies can’t see you if you don’t move.” “But…don’t we have human eyes too? She’s not moving and we can see her,” Sonata offers, poking holes in your thesis. “Yeah, I can see you all perfectly well too,” Pinkie adds. Master of Shadows’ Comment “…Oh yeah,” you nod, relenting to the blatant truth as the sisters all facepalm while two others in your head facehoof. “Well what the heck was I thinking of?” That dinosaur film Bugze, Selena sighs sounding embarrassed. Right, right. Jurhaysic Park, you think remembering one of your most beloved films as a larvae. From what I’ve seen of your memories, that so called piece of entertainment is entirely inaccurate. Even in my day we knew that those ancient creatures had feathers, Sombra lectures and suddenly rage flows through your entire system. *SNAP* “You Shut Your Whorse Mouth!!! Those Lies Were Invented By Fun Hating Scientists To Ruin Everything Cool About Dinosaurs!!!” you bellow as aloud which startles everyone in the room. “What?” Cadence gasps coming out of her shock. “Feathered Dinosaurs Are Stupid! It’s Heresy I Tells Ya! HERESY!!!” you shout at the befuddled woman before your brain registers that she is looking right at you. “I mean…No, I stick by what I said. Scaled dino’s for life!” To that, she can’t help but gawk at you, completely lost. “I think that might be a sore subject for him,” Sonata “whispers” to her sisters. “Gee, you think?” Aria quips as Adagio just shakes her head in disbelief. “I…Wha…?” Cadence stammers at your blind conviction. …Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have led with that, you think nervously and you only hear sighs from both your skullmates. Down With Chrysalis’s Comment But at least it’s gotten her out of her stupor, so I can still smooth things over, you think with conviction. And so, in your never ending cleverness, you quickly and efficiently belt out an ingenious explanation to Cadence that not only resolves all misunderstandings, but also immediately pulls her on board with your plan to reform B2’s band, stop Midnight, and return you and the Sirens home… “I mean, do you realize how difficult it would be to maintain thermostasis for animals that large? They’ve gotta be cold blooded! Sure maybe some of the flying ones might have had feathers, but the mighty T-Rex shouldn’t looped in with those ancient chickens!” …Just kidding, you ramble on about dinosaurs some more. In the back of your mind, you know you shouldn’t, which is agreed upon by the other two souls in there as well, but it’s like you can’t help yourself. Sure in one world the scientists have tried their damnedest to make dinos lame, but in this world, there might just be a chance to head it off. Throughout all your stubborn lecturing, the woman in front of you starts to lose her baffled expression as it slowly but surely morphs into one of annoyance and frustration. The Dazzlings also appear to be questioning their decisions to make you their uncle as you wholeheartedly stick to your guns. “And so, you need not look further than the Alligator or Crocodile who haven’t changed for millions of years to know what REAL dinosaurs looked like,” you finish with your head held high. “So, any questions?” The humafied version of your first friend glares at you silently for a few heartbeats before shouting, “What The Hell Are You Going On About?!” “Um…Dinosa-“ “Obivously! But Why?! What Do Dinosaurs Have To Do With Anything?!” she shouts, slamming the door behind her. “I mean…uh…” you stammer at a loss for words as you begin to sweat nervously. “Here! Now! What’s Going On In This Office?!” she demands, pointing at your face. Despite being in this filthy ape body and having far less magic than usual, your changeling senses are clearly picking up on her intense emotional state. The overwhelming confusion and boiling rage flowing off her is so strong, you almost choke on its presence. The last time a Cadence from another world was feeling like this, you got skewered. “I, uh, well you see,” you sputter as a bit of your past trauma peaks its head and you lose some coherency, dinosaur related or otherwise. “Why are my aunts passed out? Why are these three girls and Sombra’s daughter here? And why the hell are there two of you?!” she shrieks as her hair starts to go frizzy. “Uh…do you want to take a seat?” you offer lamely. “No! The last time I took a seat near you, somehow me and my husband ended up stoned! We haven’t done stuff like that since college!” she growls before turning her glare to Adagio who freezes up. “You were there! You started singing, then I can’t remember what happened after that except that there was a hole in Shining’s garage!” “Those two things are totally not connected,” Adagio tries to placate. “They’re not?” Pinkie asks sincerely and she glares at her. “The hell they aren’t!” Cadence bellows before advancing on you to the point where you back up into Luna’s desk. “Tell me right now what’s going on Hoody or I swear to God I’ll never forgive you!” The anger in her voice, a voice that shouldn’t have that tone in it, saddens you. Cadence in any world should be your friend, but thanks to your actions, this one is going postal. I am seriously going to have to have a talk with B2 and Adagio about the whole ‘making them think they were on drugs thing,’ but right now I’ve gotta be calm and rational and NOT talk about dinosaurs, you think. Whatever you tell her, be decisive and confident Bugze, Selena advises. And don’t start blubbering, it’d be far too pitiful for even me to enjoy, Sombra adds without his usual snark. Right. Well, here it goes, you think as you take a deep breath. “Okay Cadence, here’s the deal,” you start and she fixes you with expectation. “What’s happening is-“ “HYAH!” *CRASH* But you are interrupted as she falls to the ground unconscious with a shaken looking Sonata standing behind her with a now broken vase in her hands. For the first few moments there is only shocked silence as you all stare at the downed Cadence and the unmoving Sonata, whose arms are still outstretched from where she connected the vase to the other woman’s head. No one says any words or even moves an inch as the seconds go by and the ridiculousness of what happened settles among you all. A bunch of complex emotions are swimming around in your head. Confusion, surprise and frustration top the list, though there is a strange form of familial pride over how clean an attack it was. Eventually the silence is broken by someone you don’t expect... Perhaps that Siren is more of a blood relative than you thought, considering her actions mirror your own idiocy. Did one of your cockroach ancestors lay with a sea horse? Despite no one being able to hear Sombra his words seem to be the spark to snap everyone out of their daze, and finally the chaos begins to set it. "SONATA! WHAT THE TARTARUS DID YOU JUST DO!?" Aria shouts, which knocks Sonata out of her funk as she clamps her arms together nervously. "I-I uh hit Midnight’s sister-in-law over the head with a vase?" she asks more than says. Her sister’s eye starts to twitch at that response, as she stomps over to the blue girl and starts to shake her back and forth rapidly. "I SAW THAT YOU IDIOT! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" "We-well she was getting all angry an-and shouting and I got scared and Bugze just kept talking about dinosaurs and I just had to help!" "BY KNOCKING HER OUT?!" Aria demands. "Uh...Y-yes?" she answers with a blush and shy smile. "WHY!? WHY OF ALL THINGS A VASE?!” "I PANICKED OKAY!? WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!?" Sonata screeches back. "HOW ABOUT NOT ASSAULTING THE CRAZY VENGENCE SEEKING MAGIC USER’S FAMILY WITH POTTERY?!” "So...I should have used that bat I found behind the desk instead?" … … … "NO! WE CAN LITERALLY SING AT PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM DO WHAT WE WANT! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Aria devolves into unintelligible screaming as she puts Sonata in a headlock. While Aria manhandles her sister roughly, Adagio sits down on Luna’s desk with her face in her hands. "I swear to the gods if it wasn't for the fact that they’re my sisters..." she grumbles in such a frustrated and exhausted sounding voice. Pinkie, sensing that things have really gotten out of hand slowly inches herself out of the door. “I’m just gonna go meet up with everybody else. The costumes are behind the desk if you…Nevermind,” she trails off before slamming the door and running away. Meanwhile you just stare at the chaos in front of you with the same vacant expression that Cadence was wearing when she first opened the door. Ooooohhhh. Okay, now I get the glassy eyed thousand yard stare she had going there, you think in understanding. When faced with vast amounts of stupidity, the brain can’t help but shut down. Though you’ve done this your whole life so you should be used to it, Sombra insults. Well yeah, because usually I’m the one causing the stupid! It’s weird seeing it from another perspective, you argue. To be fair, it is pretty shocking to see my soon to be nieces acting in such buffoonery, Selena mutters. Because they are being influenced by not one, but two versions of this same idiot, Sombra points out. Hey! I’m not a bad influence! You counter. Exactly! Selena agrees. If anything, Bugze’s negative influences would only amount to excessive cursing and yelling about pop culture references. I-Hey! Since when have I ever encouraged someling to do that? You think feeling insulted. Our Daughter? Selena says in exasperation, as if it were obvious. …Right, yeah, I can’t argue that, you relent knowing she’s right. I still say it amounts to more since there are two of him, Sombra continues. Even dear Nightshade has bursts of foolish behavior because of him. And I say it’s not! They’re sisters! I didn’t have any siblings, but like isn’t that what sisters are supposed to do? Tear each other’s hair out and scream and stuff? My only experience with siblings is trying to murder them both…Selena says in a hollow voice of realization. See? So it is normal! You conclude, but Sombra still doesn’t seem convinced. One example does not prove your hypothesis. It’s more likely they were driven mad by your inane dinosaur ramblings, he says stubbornly. My very first action as a living being was trying to kill Celestia… Well maybe YOU shouldn’t have pulled that particular trigger Zamboni! And maybe YOU shouldn’t keep denying facts! he fires back. THEY DIDN’T HAVE FEATHERS!!! By the gods, how ARE sisters supposed to act? Selena mutters to herself in that same horrified voice while you argue with Sombra. Thankfully before you could lose what remaining brains cells you have left in this argument, Aria and Sonata draw you back into the real world. "I’M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL FOR YOU SONATA, NOT AGAIN!" "IT WAS, LIKE, ONE TIME ARI! AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU COULDN'T RIDE THE DOLPHINS AT SEA WORLD?" "BY READING THE SIGNS YOU MORON!" You can feel a sweat drop forming at the back of your head as you can’t help but wonder just what the heck these girls have been doing during their time in the humie world, but you push that aside as you know it’s time to intervene. “Okay, okay, let’s everyone just calm down and-“ "Hey, what's with all...the...shouting..?" says an older looking human man with a toupee on. Is that that Cranky Donkey guy from Ponyville? You think as the human looks at the scene in shock. He looks at the passed out people on the floor, to the arguing sisters and to you, becoming more and more horrified at what he sees. Watching the human observing them, Sonata and Aria have stopped shouting, and you notice the blue girl slowly reaching across Luna’s desk. Her sister also notices this. "NO! NOT THE BAT SONATA!" "YES THE BAT ARI, YES THE BAT!" Loganic’s Comment WARGAMES’s Comment Adagio just sighs as the madness continues and just looks at you defeated. “Can’t you stop them with that pony doll?” she pleads. “No unfortunately, it’s got a cool down period,” you say reluctantly as the other two sisters crash to the ground catfighting. “Oh…well what are we supposed to do about that guy then?” she asks pointing at the human. “Ummm…” you start just as the humie’s eyes roll upward and he passes out in the doorway. Sonata and Aria don’t notice as they continue to claw at each other. “Huh…” Adagio exposits at this unexpected development. “Guess this problem just solved itself,” you guess. Even as you say that, a skinny, nerdy looking boy appears. “Excuse me, is this where we sign up for the Ba-YAGH! *CRASH*” And he promptly trips over the Human donkey and hits his face on the floor, knocking him out. Staring at the two passed out forms with Aria’s and Sonata’s struggling in the background, Adagio hops off the desk. “I’m just gonna lock that door now,” she says tiredly. “Good idea,” you nod. Down With Chrysalis’s Comment A Few Moments Later After forcing Aria and Sonata apart, and chucking Human Cranky and the random student into a Janitor’s closet, you are now more or less back to how you all were before Cadence opened the door and threw everything into madness. Speaking of Cadence, she is currently tied to Luna’s chair via duct tape. “Why did we have to restrain her again?” you ask for like the fiftieth time. “Because she’s scary when she’s mad, and I don’t want her tearing my scales off,” Sonata implores. “We don’t have any scales right now dummy,” a still miffed Aria points out. “I know, but somehow I’m sure she’d find a way,” she says cryptically. “If anyone’s getting something ripped off, it’s gonna be Bugze,” Adagio says with a roll of her eyes. “Yeah, good point,” you agree as take a few steps away from her. “Okay, she’s taken care of…so now what do we do?” “Aren’t we still gonna dress them up?” Sonata asks and you all stare at her. “What? That was the plan before we got interrupted. B2’s pants are still halfway off. “…I should probably fix that,” you say as you head over to your doppelganger, but then you pause as you see the clothes that Pinkie left behind. “But then again, we are right here.” Really? After all of that? Sombra says in bafflement. “Yes!” you answer aloud. “Because it’s the best prank ever!” “I’m in!” Sonata volunteers enthusiastically. “I just…” Aria starts before closing her eyes and sighing in frustration. “Might as well go with it,” Adagio says while patting her on the shoulder and looking towards you. “But no peaking when we dress up Luna.” “Peaking? On what, her gross disgusting furless skin?” you scoff with a roll of your eyes as you begin undressing B2 and Humbra. “But fine, I’ll advert my eyes so that Sombra doesn’t get excited.” Quit insinuating things that aren’t true! he barks, causing you to smirk. Truth is subjective…as is sibling dynamics, Selena mutters, still sounding deep in thought. Uh, you okay there Selly? …Mhmm, she responds half heartedly causing you to raise a brow. You know there’s probably more there, but if she isn’t up to talking about it, you won’t force her. You just add it to something to talk about later while you play dress up with the Humies. The Offender Cloak of course fits perfectly over B2 and as a bonus, you don’t have to look at that raggedy unkempt beard of his. For Humbra, Pinkie’s costume package also included a wig. The problem is though, that his shiny bald head is too smooth to have it stay on while he’s lying on the floor. Remedying this, you dig through Luna’s desk and pull out a tube of something called gorilla glue. Giving a liberal spreading of the adhesive to his chrome dome, you place his wig on and it sticks. “There, perfect. Now we know what to use in the future when you lose your mane Sombra,” you say cheerfully. That is a future that is NEVER going to happen, he snaps defensively. “And we’re done too,” Adagio says. Looking over, you see that Hu-Luna is now decked out in humafied armor of Selena’s old get up. She too is wearing a wig to make her hair darker. “Not bad, not bad,” you say as you all stack the three humies up against the desk, while leaving Hu-lestia crumpled in front of Cadence. “They really do look better this way,” Aria reluctantly admits as she gets out her phone and takes a picture. “Oooh, I can’t wait to win that contest and open for them,” Sonata claps her hands excitedly and you all stare at her. “What?” “We’re not actually trying to win the contest and go on tour dummy, we’re trying to lure Midnight into a trap,” Adagio reminds. “And even if we did win, we wouldn’t have time to anyway. We’ll be going home remember?” Aria adds. “Oh…yeah, kind of forgot about that after the rally and all the panicking and head smashing,” Sonata chuckles nervously and looks away with a blush of embarrassment. “It’s okay kiddo, we all lose ourselves in the heat of madness,” you consolidate as you look over your handiwork. “I guess so,” she shrugs before looking at you for guidance. “So what do we do now?” “Well, we should probably wait till they wake up and we can redo the whole Cadence thing,” you say before holding up a finger. “But this time, no forced knock outs.” “Oh, fine,” Sonata pouts and crosses her arms. “Don’t say that like you’re disappointed!” Aria scolds, and the blue girl sticks her tongue out at her. Suddenly, you are all interrupted by a knock at the door, causing you to freeze. “Um, Mr. Bugze? It’s me Pinkie Pie. Is everything not crazy anymore?” the voice says from the other side and you let out a sigh of relief. Ah good, just Humie Pink Psycho. All’s well, you think good naturedly as you unlock the door and step outside with the sisters, seeing not only Pinkie Pie, but Sunset as well. “Oh hey guys, why aren’t you in class?” you ask. “Because Mr. Doodle’s disappeared, and because Pinkie said she left you guys after some altercations,” Sunset says worriedly. “I mean, is everything going alright? After the near fiasco at lunch I thought-“ “Everything’s under control Sunny. Me and the Dazzlings took care of things,” you reassure but she frowns. “Pinkie said you hit Twiligt’s sister in law over the head with a vase though.” “That wasn’t me! It was Sonata! Let the record show that it was Sonata!” you belt out. “You snitch!” she pouts at your betrayal, but you ignore her and cough into your fist. “Ahem, but yeah, she’s taken care of and we’re going to fix this.” “Are you sure? You don’t need any help?” Sunset asks. “Yeah, we could get the rest of the girls here too,” Pinkie offers. “No it’s fine, we’ve got this. We’ll all meet up later to discuss songs and stuff. But right now, if you guys want to do school stuff, your teacher is passed out in that closet with some nerdy kid,” you say pointing to the door behind them. “Say what now?” Sunset does a double take. “Your missing teaching, he passed out when he came across our shenanigans. Don’t worry, didn’t look like he had a heart attack, probably just low on sugar or something,” you say confidently. “Ooookaaayyy,” Sunset says warily as she starts making her way to the janitor closet. As she does, you look over at Pinkie and smirk. “Also, we totally just got done dressing B2, Humbra and Luna into their costumes,” you say conspiratorially and she beams. “I hope you got pictures,” she says. “Way ahead of you,” Aria says as she taps buttons on her device and suddenly Pinkie’s phone chimes. “Awesome Sauce!” she cheers. “Well, you guys just stay safe and don’t assault any more people and I’ll meet up with you later.” And with that she runs to the closet with Sunset to help drag Cranky Doodle to his class. “…You know, these human’s high school experience is certainly a lot stranger than my own,” you say truthfully before you hear groaning inside. “Sounds like the sleeping beauties are up,” Adagio says, just as you all hear three simultaneous gasps of shock. “Oh boy, prank time,” Sonata giggles quietly as you all crack the door and peer inside. “My hair! My glorious locks are back!” Humbra squeals in joy, looking on the verge of tears. “My cloak…it still fits,” B2 says in awe. “Whoa, and Nimmy…you look…” “Why am I in this costume again?!” Luna shrieks apprehensively as she gets up and walks over to a mirror on the wall. “Oh God, I swore I wasn’t this kind of woman anymore!” “I mean, it’s not so bad, you still look amazing,” B2 encourages but she rounds on him. “You’re just saying that! My thighs have gotten too big for these pants!” “I beg to differ,” B2 says transfixed before looking over to the bawling Humbra. “I don’t know what’s happened, or why we’re dressed up again, but the only logical explanation is that we’ve traveled back in time.” “If we traveled back in time, why are we in my office at Canterlot High?” Luna says with her hands on her hips as she takes the helmet off. “Maybe the sea horses did something, they brought my hair back after all, even if it feels a little itchy,” Humbra says. “Ugh, what happened?” Celestia groans as she sits up and everyone looks at her. When she sees everyone in costume her eyes widen in shock and confusion. “…Okay, maybe we didn’t travel through time, Celestia still looks old,” B2 changes his mind. “EXCUSE ME?!” Celestia shouts as she gets on her feet with her fists clenched. “Nothing! I said nothing!” B2 lies. This whole time, you and the Dazzlings are just snickering like immature children at their reactions. “What is going on here?! Luna! I said no rejoining this stupid band! And why is-Cadence?!” her anger quickly turns to worry as she sees her passed out niece tied up. “What’s happened to Cady?!” “I’ve got no clue,” B2 says in worry as he comes over to investigate the woman. “Did we blackout in the middle of some sort of hostage situation?” Humbra guesses. “I highly doubt that. But I have no idea what’s going on any more than you do Tia,” Luna says as they all crowd around Cadence and start prodding her. Kichi’s Comment After a few shakes and light slaps, Cadence starts to groan as she comes out of her stupor. “Ooooohhhh, my head,” she groans. “There there Cady, are you okay?” Celestia asks. “Aunt Celestia?” she says as she looks at her with bleary eyes. “Yes it’s me, are you alright? What happened?” “I…I don’t know. I opened the door…I remember something about dinosaurs, and I was mad at Hoody and-“ her eyes suddenly widen as she notices B2. “YOU!” she snaps and tries to lunge forward, only for her to be stopped by the duct tape. “Whoa now, easy there kiddo,” B2 warns. “What’s happening?! Why am I tied up?! Why are you all dressed in your band costumes?!” “That’s what we’d like to know,” Luna starts as Cadence struggles with her bonds. “Wait a minute, there were four girls here too! I remember now! Aunt Celestia, is this a weird sex thing?! It’s a weird sex thing isn’t it? Please tell me it’s not a weird sex thing!” “Most certainly not!” Celestia says taken aback as she tries and fails to get the duct tape off her niece. “Are you sure? I’ve heard of weird groups like this, and I know all of you used to be free spirits!” “It’s not like that Cadence, yeesh,” Luna reprimands. “And how can I know that for sure? You’re dressed up as Nightmare Moon again standing next to him! I mean, I know I tried to get you two to meet and talk again, but I didn’t know things would escalate this quickly!” “Nothing’s escalated girlie, just calm down,” Humbra orders as he dramatically tosses his hair. “Sombra?! Wait, one of your daughters was here earlier, what are you trying to pull?” Giggling and laughing, you open the office door and lead the sirens inside. “Okay, okay, that’s enough hilarity for right now,” you chuckle before closing the door. “So let me explain a few things.” Cadence’s expression looking between you and B2 is comical. “Wha-What? That’s right! There were two of you! One had his pants off!” “Huh?” B2 says taken aback. “Never mind that, Cadence, you, uh, passed out in your anger earlier, so we tied you up,” you lie, not wanting to throw Sonata under the bus. “I passed out? What are you going on about?! Am I having a stroke?! What is happe-MMPH!” she is silenced as you place duct tape over her mouth. “There, that should help things,” you say to the others. “That doesn’t help anything at all,” Celestia says heatedly as she glares at you. “What happened to get us to this point?” “I accidentally knocked you all out during the performance, but don’t worry, things went smoothly.” “Not really,” Adagio quips, but you ignore her. “And this whole dress up thing was definitely, uh, definitely Rarity’s idea. She loves clothes,” you lie again while all the humans continue to look at you incredulously. “But uh, anyway, Cadence, if you want to help Twilight please just calm down so that you don’t “pass out” again.” Her eyes widen at that, and she stops writhing. “I just…” Celestia starts before sighing and putting a hand to her forehead. “Believe me, I know,” Aria says with sympathy. “Now, I’d like to explain everything to you, so let’s just be civil, okay?” you urge the duct taped woman who nods. “By the way, how’d my hair return?” asks Humbra to Adagio. “Uh, magic? Yeah, let’s go with that,” she says maliciously. “I knew it!” he cheers, but you ignore him and take the tape off of Cadence’s mouth. “What do you mean help Twilight? What’s happened to her?” she asks immediately. “Okay, you know how she hasn’t been at school lately right?” you start off and her eye twitches. “She hasn’t? Wait…yeah that’s right she hasn’t. She’s been…studying online?” she says unsure and you raise a brow. Hmm, so I guess Adagio’s mind trick is still keeping her from knowing anything was wrong with her, you think impressed. “Yeah, that’s kind of true and not at the same time,” you say bluntly. “But she is still turning in her assignments…” Cadence mutters in confusion. “And I don’t doubt she is,” you nod. “And I’m sure that’s good enough for buck face Cinch and any of her bullies, but surely that can’t be enough for you right?” “Yeah…she’s not…she’s not at her parents is she?” “Nope. We kind of sang to them too,” Sonata chirps up from the back, getting a smack upside the head from Aria. “Sang to them? What?” Cadence sputters and you sigh. “Alright, I know what I’m about to say is going to sound insane and impossible, but just keep an open mind. Right now, Twilight has kind of turned into a magic stealing super villain.” “…Excuse me?” she says in disbelief. “It’s true, she soaked up a lot of Equestrian magic, which is magic from Equestria, and…You know, maybe I should start at the beginning huh?” “Oh gods, I’ve heard this tale like 3 times already!” Adagio grumbles. “I’ve heard it once, and I don’t want to again,” Celestia grumbles. “Yeah, can we just go for this Bugze?” B2 asks. “Sure, fine, you all should probably change anyway. Also, Celestia, the students are going to come to you about joining the Battle of the Bands, so you might want to get on that.” Sighing Celestia looks at Luna, The Dazzlings, B2 and Humbra. “Let’s go to my office then,” she says tiredly as she leads them out the door. “Auntie?” Cadence says with worry but she just shakes her head. “Don’t worry Cady, he’ll explain everything. But for goodness’ sake, cut her out of that tape already?!” she orders. “And Luna, let’s get you out of that get up.” “Spoil sport,” B2 grumbles as they all exit. Once you are alone with her, you smirk nervously as you start to undo her binds. “So yeah, this is going to be a long story,” you tell her. “I’ve got time,” she says matter of factly. “But try to hurry up, I need to know what you meant about Twilight going supervillain!” “You’re already on board for believing that?” you say in surprise as you free one of her legs. “I used to babysit her, so it’s not too surprising with her love of science,” she admits before shaking her head. “But get on with it, why is she a supervillain now?” “Okay then. So, like I said, Equestrian Magic comes from Equestria, which is this nation on the planet Equus full of pony versions of literally everyone on this stupid planet,” you start. "Pony versions?" she says skeptically. “Yes, which is the only true versions of you all. But anyway, that’s just the backdrop. Everything that’s happening now started with me, and my journey began during when my people invaded Canterlot during the real Cadence and Shining’s wedding.” “Wait, what now?” she says taken aback. “Oh right, you’re a Princess in that world, or I guess an Empress now since you run an Empire, but yeah. The Changelings invaded, I’m a changeling by the way…well, mostly. You see Changelings are like a cross between a pony and an insect that can shapeshift… And you continue to give her the (relatively) abridged account of your misadventures. “So that’s when I met Selena, but didn’t know it at the time…I ended up becoming a father overnight, and Nightshade is just the absolute best…And that cloak that was supposed to make me inconspicuous kind of turned into my villainous alter ego…Blueblood got turned into No Balls…Then the God of Chaos escaped his stone prison. I’m still conflicted on that guy…And then I had a cult, to which I kind of killed the leader and developed a lot of mental issues…I went to another world where I kind of had some issues with another you, but I won’t go into them…And then I ate the real Sombra, but that totally wasn’t my fault! Shut Up!...Then I was a bounty hunter, and that was fun…So basically I was tricked into coming to this ape filled world so that I could help Selena and Sombra get bodies…I found out the Sirens were still alive…Twilight turned evil…Got stuck in a Carnival from Tartarus for 3 months…and now that’s why we need a Battle of the Bands.” After finishing the tale which you’ve told countless times since coming to this world, you feel even more unburdened. You know, once we get home and get settled, I could probably turn this into a book, you think optimistically, while Cadence just stares at you quietly having taken quite a lot of information in. Who would want to read such an idiotic plot? Sombra insults. Bored people, that’s who! You think with conviction. After a few more moments of silence, Cadence stands up…and slaps you. “Ow! What the bu-“ “That’s for not coming clean sooner,” she reprimands before fixing her hair. “But now that that’s out of the way, let’s stop dawdling and get this Music Competition going already.” “Huh? Really? Just like that?” you say in surprise. “Honestly, everything you said is just too dumb and random to have been made up…also, I don’t doubt that if Twilight did discover magic, she would go nuts like this.” “…You know, your acceptance is really refreshing,” you say in gratitude. “Don’t go getting too used to it,” she mutters before shaking her head. “But anyway, I’m now more than invigorated to do what I came here to do. I was going to ask my aunts a bit more on the set up for the games and Battle of the Bands, so let’s get to it.” “Yeah, let’s do that,” you nod in enthusiasm. “But uh, just to be clear, you’re not gonna like, still chew out B2 are you?” “Oh of course I am,” she says non chalantly. “He’s the one who jumped out the window when I was trying to get him to talk to Aunt Luna again, and he ruined our dinner party.” “Yeah, he is me so go easy on him will ya? He and Luna seem to be doing alright after the Carnival from Tartarus,” you implore as the two of you walk towards the club room where you were supposed to meet up with Team Human. A Few Moments Later After entering the room, you now have your assembled Human Team, along with Sunset and the Dazzlings. Even Wallflower is there since she’s still your connection to that cousin of hers that gets the word out. “Okay humies, the easy part is out of the way,” you tell them. “That was the easy part?” Rarity says in surprise. “Yep,” you nod. “Because getting the students on board is step one. Step two, is making sure this Battle is epic enough to accumulate as much magic as possible to lure Midnight here. And then comes step 3, where we actually have to de-villify her.” You then point to the whiteboard with a yardstick. “So, let’s go over the playlists and spectacles for The Dazzlings and…whatever you guys are naming your band.” “We were thinking Rainbooms,” Rainbow says without hesitation and you just look at her incredulously. “Let me guess, you came up with that one?” “Yeah, how’d you know?” she asks. “Lucky guess,” you roll your eyes. “But anyway, The Dazzlings and The ego stroking Rainbow band are gonna be the ones accumulating the most magic and firing up everyone else. We need to plan out the songs, the visuals, costumes, etc. Though I call dibs on Pyrotechnics!” “Hey! Why do you get dibs on that?” Celestia asks. “Because Fire’s my thing. End of discussion!” you say with finality before coughing into your hand. “But Yeah, we come up with our show, know who our competition is gonna be from both schools, and finally, we figure out exactly how we’re going to take Midnight down.” You take the cap off of a dry erase marker and hold it at the ready. “So…shoot,” you offer to the assembled apes and apified equestrians. WHAT DO YOU DO?