//------------------------------// // Chapter Four - The Winning Bet // Story: How to Catch a Pinkie Pie // by Ribe_FireRain //------------------------------// ''Rainbow Dash, you know that I'm sorry, right?" You asked the mare next to you, whom was still acting all gloomy and sulky. She was at the very least looking at you and talking to you, but the disinterest in her tone never once left her. She still wasn't happy with you. ''You already apologised,'' She said in a grumble. She trotting along beside you, head hanging low. ''Do we need to go over this again?'' ''Dashie, I've not apologised properly though,'' You said, stopping for a moment to get on your knees and look her in the eye. She became tense at your touch when you put your hands lightly on her cheeks and raised her head up so she was level with you, but she didn't resist you and shove you away. ''I'm sorry that I pranked you like that and humiliated you. I know you're upset with me, but I know how I can make it up to you,'' You said, hoping that she'd hear you out. ''I don't know, can you? Aside from humiliating me, I still want that date you promised me, so unless you're going to pull a rose bouquet out of your pocket or you're going to surprise me, I don't want to hear it,'' She said tentatively, about ready to walk off and leave you to whatever you were doing here. ''Hey, no, no, I promise, you'll like this,'' You said, quickly moving your hands to her shoulders and stopping her from walking off. She glared softly at you, but she stopped and waited for you to continue, so it must have meant something to her that you were willing to go this far. ''Please, Rainbow, I'm trying to make it up to you. I promise that we'll sort out what's going on after I show you this, you have my word. Please, just come and see this?'' Rainbow Dash eyed you for a moment and was still curious as to what you were up to. She gave a huffy breath before she shook her head and clearly wanted to get whatever you had planned over with. ''Fine,'' Is all she said. You said nothing further as you smiled, got up and directed her towards an area in the middle of Ponyville's town square. It was beside the town hall and in one of the streets, opposite the bakery. You stood outside of the town hall and Rainbow Dash gazed up at you with a raised brow. ''So...what did you want to show me?'' She asked. ''Are you stalling for something?'' ''No, Dash. Wait a second and look towards Sugarcube Corner,'' You said, pointing towards it. She looked in time for you both to view Pinkie Pie heading into the shop with a bunch of cake boxes on her back. ''See that? Pinkie Pie's delivering some new cake boxes to the bakery and she'll come back outside in a second. And when she does...'' You pointed to the floor. Dash's eyes widened at what she saw but her eyes followed the trail. Your fiendish master plan had utilised the irresistible chocolate candy that was the equivalent of Reese's Pieces in your world - Celestia's Pieces. Oddly enough, there were two variants called Celestia's Pieces and Luna's Pieces, the Celestia version being white chocolate and milk chocolate with white, light pink and light green-coloured pieces and Luna's being dark chocolate and white chocolate in navy blue, aqua and silver-coloured candies. It was strange how Equestrians made something so similar to a product in another world, but they tasted exactly the same and also used a creamy peanut butter as its base. You had tried them at one point and noticed that they shockingly tasted no different than any Reese's product you've put in your mouth before. The only difference was that the chocolate was of higher quality and much richer than the equivalent. ''Celestia's and Luna's Pieces?'' Rainbow questioned. ''Dom, in what world do you think this will work?'' ''Hang on, I'm not done here,'' You said, beckoning her to follow you with a wave of your hand around the corner of the town hall. ''She follows the trail and ends up under that,'' You pointed to a large wooden crate lid with a large wooden pole propping it up with some string tied around it. ''Then I'll snag that pole out and trap her! Then she'll be mine!" ''Dom, I...that has got to be the dumbest plan I've ever heard in my entire life. Even dumber than the burning bag of dog poo,'' Rainbow said in a deadpan tone. She gave you a quizzical look, but you still smiled at her. ''Rainbow Dash, trust me, this will work. I saw it once in a cartoon. It always works. Well, almost always...'' You said that last part quietly. ''Come on, won't you at least stick around and watch the show for me in my moment of triumph? There's still a bet wagered over this, you know!" ''As stupid as this is...sure, fine. I'll sit and watch,'' Rainbow agreed, but she didn't do it without a sigh. ''Good! Oh, here she comes! Quick, hide!'' You said, picking up Rainbow Dash like a cat and bringing her around the side of the town hall out of sight, putting her down behind you. ''Warn me before you do that next time!'' She said in a hushed voice. ''Sorry, but I'm taking no chances in losing this bet!'' You said back in your own hushed voice, before poking your head around the corner and watching Pinkie Pie. Wait for it... ''Hey, look, a piece of candy!'' You heard her say in a giddy voice. Yes, she was falling for it! Soon, so very soon, she would lead herself right into your ingenious trap! ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' Her voice got louder while you watched Pinkie individually pick up the candy you had left out for her and scoffing them before moving up the trail just like clockwork. You couldn't help but snicker to yourself, trying to keep yourself out of view from her whilst she progressed up the colourful line. Just like a leprechaun following the rainbow back home...if said leprechaun was made out of bubblegum. Rainbow Dash was watching with you, her face showing genuine surprise that Pinkie was apparently none the wiser of what was happening. Throw candy in front of a mare literally made out of candy and all things sweet and nice, she won't care if she's blindly trotting over a cliff. In this case, into captivity via wooden crate. ''Captain's Log: update on Pinkus Pius - what a magnificent product of nature! As I live and breathe, I'm documenting the very creature I've been hunting for the past day being lured into my ingenious trap, and she's allowing herself to drop into my lap quite literally! This creature...she seems to enjoy Celestia's and Luna's Pieces, peanut butter-based chocolate candies with a light sugar coating. Perhaps it's the bright hues to colour the candy shell, or maybe the elusive Pinkus Pius has a natural craving for peanut butter as part of her diet? So many questions, so little answers,'' You began speaking into your imaginary voice recorder. Rainbow Dash shook her head behind you but released a giggle. ''Okay, what is this thing you're doing?'' She motioned up to your hand. ''Do you think you're some kind of nature documentarist now or something?'' ''Let a guy dream, Lieutenant Skittles. As the Captain of this mission, it's my duty to document every moment of the capture of the Pinkus Pius,'' You said in your captain's voice still. She smiled up at you for the first time since yesterday. It was nice to see. ''Dork,'' Rainbow Dash giggled to herself. ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' Pinkie said once more as she scoffed yet another Celestia's Piece, now heading around the corner to where the wooden box propped up with the wooden pole was. This was your chance! You had already pulled the string along with you, lightly held in your grasp and awaiting the correct time to let it rip, patiently observing Pinkie Pie. You lightly caressed the thin piece of string with your thumb in hungry anticipation for the moment to arrive. Just a few more paces and it would be time! ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' ''Ooh, a piece of candy!'' She was underneath the box right now! She was literally directly underneath the box, where you had placed a full tube of Luna's Pieces for her to nom down on. This was it! You yanked the piece of string and the wooden pole being torn from the box and releasing its support. The box above Pinkie Pie dropped directly on top of her and encased her inside. ''YES!'' You shouted in triumph. ''See, Dashie, I told you that I'd get her!'' You said as you quickly sprinted over the the wooden box and put your hands on it to press it down, your prize underneath now aware what was happening and her hooves audibly hitting against the wood to escape. ''I got you, Pinkus Pius! You're MINE!'' ''Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!'' Rainbow exclaimed rapidly, clearly just as excited as you were. Her face held a stunned expression and her eyes went wide and sparkled. ''You actually caught her! Dom, you just caught Pinkie Pie! That's impossible!'' ''Is it, Dash? Is it really?'' You asked, taking a smug pose with your hand on your hip, elbow on the edge of the box and giving the cyan mare a cocky grin, much like a sexy pinup calendar photo. Damn, would you look good on one of those calendars! If only ponies knew about such things. (Note to self: look into that. Might be a funny birthday present for Dashie.) ''Dash, come here, help me keep her down!'' You said as your companion rushed over to secure down the other side of the box with her hooves. She was in what you suspected was a renewed respect and brilliant awe. This was such a monumental milestone in pranking - catching the very rare, very elusive Pink El Diablo. She was all yours! And it was marvellous to witness her trapped! ''You have the right to remain successfully and smugly pranked, Pinkus Pius!'' You called inside of the box with a laughing tone to your voice. ''You're mine now! I told you I'd get you eventually!'' ''Let me out!'' Pinkie Pie pleaded from inside of the box. This satisfied you even more and you grinned so wide your jaw hurt. ''Nu-uh, Pinkie! I got you fair and square, there will be no squealing your way out of this one! That means I get to wear The Badge of Bragging Rights and you get to be mine to hang on the wall as a trophy! Today is one small step for pink ponies, one giant leap for human pranksters! We win, you lose!'' You said triumphantly. So much joy flooded your veins right now, and you were afraid they were going to burst from the rush of excitement gushing through you. ''Alright, Dashie, lets take a look at our prize!'' You said before beginning to lift the box in tandem with Rainbow Dash. It wasn't heavy duty or anything, but it was heavy enough to trap down unsuspecting ponies for an extended period of time. You had raised the box off the ground and raised it high enough to peek under it. ''Hiya, Pinkie Pie, I---'' You stopped and froze in place once you saw something beneath the box. You quickly tossed the box fully off your prize and your heart sank when you saw who was in front of you. ''NO!" ''Uh...hi, Dom,'' Twilight Sparkle said nervously, pawing a hoof at the ground. Oh, sweet dear Celestia, your Twi-phobia had kicked in almost instantly and you were having severe PTSD flashbacks of your earlier encounter. You looked more like a child terrified of a creepy Halloween story you were told while sitting in pitch black, curling in on yourself, whimpering and feeling tears of fear build up in your eyes. ''No! N-No, NO!'' You shouted. ''That's not true! That's impossible! What happened to Pinkie Pie?! She was right there, I heard her shout!'' Twilight began to gaze at you with compassionate eyes, soft and caring and very apologetic. ''Dom, it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you,'' She raised a hoof towards you and began to lower it onto you arm. ''I-I'm sorry I went crazy before, but---'' ''Nyah! NO! NO, NO, NO!'' You continued to shout loudly, practically barking at the purple unicorn in pure fear, swatting and batting away at her hoof in rejection to her touch. You clambered back and crawled away from her on the dirt with your palms and legs rapidly kicking. ''Get away from me, you crazy purple book horse!'' You said before swiftly and clumsily picking yourself from the ground and beginning to run away. ''Stay away from me, Twilight! I'm not in the mood to die by crazy unicorn vaporiser spells!'' You called over your shoulder as you bolted away. *** *** *** Meanwhile, away from the middle of the town where your PTSD-inducing encounter had plucked sharply at your nerves something fierce, you had escaped and ventured out into a field. This field was the same field you had been dropped down in by Rainbow Dash once she had rescued you from the rampaging unicorn that was Twilight Sparkle. The afternoon was still young and the sky was beautiful while the wind was slightly warm and a gentle breeze occasionally swept through the grass. You were resting against the tree you had sat by only around a week earlier, your hands clutching your calfs and your chin resting atop your knees while you gently quivered. You were both shocked at what had just happened, however that was even a possibility given you literally saw Pinkie walk beneath that box with your own eyes! What was this witchcraft?! ''Can't win, can't win,'' You mumbled to yourself over and over again, repeating it in tandem with your brain running troubleshoots and coming up empty each time for a fault in your master plan, the whole logic of the situation. None of this was possible, but it somehow was. ''So, that's where you've been,'' Rainbow Dash's voice called as she hovered in the air in front of you. She gently set herself down and gave you a left-sided smile. She looked relieved to have found you. ''I somehow guessed you'd come here.'' Rainbow then came up beside you, sat herself down with her back against the tree trunk and she lightly placed a hoof on your leg, but you didn't turn to face her. She gave it a soft couple of pats and she said in a sympathetic but ''I told you so'' voice, ''I tried to warn you. Nopony alive can prank Pinkie and get away with it. You can't win, Dom.'' She didn't sound antagonising like always, nor did she sound teasing. She for once in her life sounded genuinely sympathetic and bad for you. While there was her comfort in this dark moment of your own humiliation, you still had this itch inside of you from your nerves screaming out at seeing Twilight's face. ''She...She went under there, Dash, I saw it!'' You said, eventually turning to face her. Rainbow only smiled softly at you in the hope that it would somehow comfort you more. ''And then...Twilight was there and...I don't know what went wrong,'' You said, dumbfounded. ''What just happened?'' ''Oh, Dom,'' Rainbow said softly as she gingerly leaned into your side. ''That's why Pinkie Pie has no competition. She knows every trick in the book and has...well, I don't know what exactly she has or how she can do all she can do, but it's better to be safe than sorry with her. She even scares me at times,'' Rainbow admitted with a slight shudder. ''I think I'm terrified of pink ponies now. Crazy pink ponies and psycho purple unicorn bookworms,'' You said slowly, trying to find some humour in the situation. ''And I'm unsure of which I'm upset by more: the fact that I lost the bet or that Pinkie Pie beat me.'' Rainbow didn't judge. ''Like I've said, nopony has bested her yet and probably never will,'' She said. ''But you gave it your best shot.'' She was fully leaning into you now, her body weight gently pushing into your left arm and your leg as she allowed herself to sink into your side. She was warm, very fuzzy and cuddly. You never said anything before about her softness, but the first time you hugged her close, it had felt like being brushed with luxurious velvet. This was a bit strange of her. She never got close to you like this before, never physically snuggling into you, and it made a few thoughts pop into your mind. As humiliated as you were, the joker side of you never once subsided or backed down from a potential opportunity. ''Rainbow Dash...are we pregnant?'' You asked slowly, and that one small sentence caused Rainbow Dash's body to snap up and stare at you with small, shocked eyes. ''WHAT?!'' She squeaked out at such a high pitch your ears hurt from the volume. Her cheeks were blushing so furiously that they glowed like hot pink neon signs. ''You're, uh...getting a bit too close to me. I thought maybe there was something you wanted to tell me...?'' You coaxed her, but her expression soon shifted into a deadpan one once she saw you snicker. ''Yeah, I did want to tell you something: you are one evil and twisted human,'' She said. ''Oh, and you're innocent, hmm? That's not what I've heard, fruit shakes!'' ''Wha...? That doesn't even make any sense!'' She threw her hooves up in angry confusion. ''I know you are, but what am I?'' ''Ugh, I can NOT with you sometimes...'' Rainbow grumbled, wisely choosing not to pull into your little game. ''You're sick.'' ''Yes. Yes, I am,'' You said proudly. ''Hey,'' You held a hand to her hoof and gave it a gentle squeeze. ''Gotcha.'' ''You're such a jerk at times, you know that?" She told you in a huffy voice before she sat down beside you again. ''Well, at least you're laughing while you still can. Don't suppose seeing Twilight scared your mind so badly you forgot what you promised me?'' She asked with a cheeky smile that slowly snaked up into a grin. Her eyebrows raised and fell mock seductively at you. It made your heart sink. ''Oh. I was kinda hoping you'd forget about that,'' You admitted. You blushed softly. ''Alright, Dash. If this will cheer you up, I'll do it, but I want it on the record that I'm only doing it for you. Got it?'' You held out a hand to her in request for a best friend agreement. ''You've got it!'' She bumped your fist with her hoof. ''Now, go on: get ready! I can't wait to see this!'' She said before beginning to flutter off to where you were meant to go to get this set up. ''Har-har...'' You mumbled sarcastically.