//------------------------------// // 8: Fashion and Passion // Story: Power Rangers: Sky Strike // by The Bricklayer //------------------------------// Funny how the most extraordinary days start off so ordinarily. For Autumn, it was to wake up, go for a jog and then… well, she’d figure it out as she went along. Right now, she found herself leaning on a fence railing, watching the ponies toil away in the fields. She watched for a while and remembered. How long had it been since she herself was tending to her crops? Harvest season was coming up fast, and yet… she hadn’t even started on her farm work because of, well, the obvious. Briefly bringing her sky shift Morpher back into being, she glanced at it. At times, Autumn would admit to wishing it never came to her. But, alas, no choice now for her, really.  “Something on your mind?” came a voice, as Robert walked up. Autumn chuckled. “You can’t just leave a pretty mare well enough alone, can you?” Autumn said twisting so she was now sitting atop the fence instead of actually leaning on it. “First Rainbow, then Rarity, and now me! My, you get around!” “No!” Robert sputtered, flushing a bright red.  “Oh, good, because if you were I’d feel it was well within my rights to warn the mares of what a player you are,” Autumn teased. “...wait, that is the right word for it isn’t it? I’m… really not sure. Still a lot of new words I have to learn, and some I have to re-learn, and yeah I’m babbling again aren’t I?” “No, you’re not,” Robert reassured.  “Right, sorry, I didn’t want to be the one to embarrass myself,” Autumn laughed nervously. “Not that I have a sense of shame, cause I don’t! I’m a free spirit!” “Well, that’s one way to put it…” Robert thought to himself before speaking. “You looked like you had a lot on your mind. Thought I’d come over and see what’s what. But fine, if you don’t want me to be nice I can be just on my merry little way…” “Ooooh, snarky!” Autumn laughed. “Sarcastic and snarky, whoo! Whatever mare lands you, you’re a keeper!” “What makes you think I’ll end up with a mare?” Robert inquired. “Oh, so you swing the other way then?” Autumn asked, eyes widening. “Let me correct myself then. Whatever stallion ends up with you, you’re a keeper!” “Let me correct myself then,” Robert snorted. “What makes you think I’ll end up with a pony?” “Well, unless you’re shuffled back off to the human part of the world, and I don’t see that happening anytime given Shining has you on a leash -arf arf!- so you’re stuck here. Basically, you’re like that Captain Kirk man, boldly coming where nobody’s come onto before!” “It’s boldly going,” Robert sighed. “I don’t know what I should be more concerned over, you knowing who Captain Kirk is, you nerd, or your jokes you’re going to be making from now on.” “Awwwwwww, you’re such a stick in the mud,” Autumn groaned. “No sense of humor whatsoever. Oh well, just means you’re going to be that much easier to tease!” Robert sighed to himself, resigned to his fate. Placing his hands behind his head, he leaned back up against the fence posts, the wood creaking and groaning against his weight. As he did this, very briefly the sleeves on his jacket rolled up to reveal what looked like patches on his arms. “Ooooh, are those marijuana patches?” Autumn inquired. “You know, for a guy who’s taking them, you don’t seem to be really all that chill!” “Well, it’s hard to be chill around a mare like you,” Robert thought to himself, before with a red face, he tugged his sleeve back down. “Can she ever mind her own business?”  “Well, it’s not like I can smoke on the job,” Robert replied. “Way I see it, what Shining doesn’t know, well it won’t hurt him will it?” “Ooooh, undermining your boss like this?” Autumn said. “What a little rebel! And here I thought you were this straight-laced officer of the law!” “Yes, well sometimes being straight-laced comes with a few sacrifices,” Robert admitted. “Helps with the stress.”  “The stress of the job, or the stress of the town, or the stress of your extracurricular activities?” Autumn asked.  “What makes you think it’s the stress of the town?” Robert said. “I’m happy with the town, I’m a happy person!” “Yeah, sure you are…” Autumn drawled. “And yet your whole apartment didn’t hear you arguing with Rainbow Dash. You know, before it turned into a huge angry rage monster.” “Her music was too loud, and she was too loud,” Robert said simply. “Oh, so you’re a happy person?” Autumn drawled. “Okay, fine, I’m a grumpy person in way over his head,” Robert grumbled. “Honestly, not sure I feel at home here. It’s all pastels and ponies, not gritty streets and human beings. I apologize for how this sounds, heaven forbid I sound like a racist bastard, but…” “Yeah, I know what you mean, and no you don’t sound like an elitist jerk,” Autumn sighed to herself. “Since I moved here, I’ve been feeling strangely out of place. Like, I’ve got friends, or well one of them anyways in Vapes, but… I’m a kirin, and these are all ponies. I’m a disruption to the usual herd dynamic and…” “You make it sound like you’re in a harem,” Robert drawled, and Autumn smacked him over the head. “Pervert…” she grumbled even if she looked as if she was two steps away from smiling herself.  “So we’re both fish out of water, right?” Robert muttered. “Guess that means we’ll have to be alone together then.” “Careful now, if you keep that up, ponies might think you actually have a heart!” Autumn teased, punching him in the arm, Robert wincing slightly from her strength. He laughed anyways, rubbing his patch-covered arm. The aftereffects were starting to wear off, he’d have to replace the patches soon. Maybe see his doctor about a refill in a few days, yeah. Then, Autumn’s ears twitched, hearing something that Robert obviously hadn’t. She let out a shout of “DIVE!” as she pulled him to the ground, practically wrenching him to the dirt as what looked to be senbon needles whistled over their heads. Then, in a second fluid motion, she activated her Sky Shift Morpher calling out “Take off, wings rise! Owl Ranger Power!” over the standby techno beats.  ““Take off, wings rise. Condor Ranger Power,” Robert said in the most annoyed tone he could muster, quite a feat I should add as he had many annoyed tones. “Alright, who the…” “Oh, look! It’s the Ranger of Patriarchy here to mansplain why I as a monster, suck!” said a feminine voice and Robert blinked, as it’s owner could only be described as a sewing machine on legs walked up. Okay, not senbon needles, but sewing needles then. “Well, you won’t get a chance to ruin my life, and explain to me about how my principled stand against hatred isn’t appropriate so-” Autumn punched her in the face. “...sorry, I just did that upon reflex,” Autumn said. “Not sure why. But something about her really offends me as a mare.” “Oh, good,” Robert said as the two spun and flipped around to avoid the sewing needles, slashing through the hurricane with their swords. They, at one point, stood back to back slashing at the onslaught, before breaking apart again to send twin energy slashes at the new monster. “Nice to know you’re sane and not one of those nutters.” “Those nutters?” Autumn said, ripping up the earth and tossing a rather large section of it at the monster, who dodged out of the way before nicking her in the side with sewing needles. Autumn let out a yelp of pain, before asking: “You mean there’s more like her? What, are they all this toxic?” “I was going to go with stupid, but your explanation works as well,” Robert said. “Your resistance to change is what powers the abusers and empowers the cultures of hate!” said the sewing machine monster. “And you’re setting feminism back by several hundred years!” Autumn returned. “Now, let me remind you of who you’re facing off against! With the strength of an owl! Power Ranger Yellow!” “With the swiftness of a condor. Power Ranger Black,” said Robert, completely unenthusiastic.  “Oh come on!” Autumn said as she locked blades with the walking sewing machine’s… well, scissors. “Show a little enthusiasm, why don’t you? At least act like you’re happy to be doing your job!” “I’ll be happy when the job’s over.” Robert replied drolly. Here, he kicked the monster in the stomach, making it cry out: “Abuse, abuse! God, you are triggered!” Robert just socked her across the jaw for that. The monster shoved him into a fence, before slashing wildly with her scissors. Robert just barely managed to raise his blade in time to block the blow. He flipped behind the fence and slashed at the creature before shoving the tip of his sword into one of her eyes.  As the monster screamed in rage, Autumn pulled it away before crashing a fist into it.  “Goddess, even her screams are annoying…” Autumn muttered before slamming her fists into the creature’s stomach like she was on fire. Well, given her species Autumn probably was going to be in a few minutes if the new dimensional beast pushed her any further. “You support the culture of hate, you’re a traitor to your gender! A traitor!” “OH SHUT UP!” Autumn roared, temporarily going Nirik -judging by the flash of purple fire- as she tossed the dimensional beast head over shoulder, letting her crash into the earth, kicking up dust and cracking the ground. “...maybe you cracked her skull,” Robert suggested offhand. “Her skull was already cracked,” Autumn grumbled. “You said there are more women like her? Well, not sure if ‘women’ is the right phrase here. Maybe insufferable Tartarus beasts…” “Sadly, you can’t fix stupid…” “I can damn well try…” Autumn said before she let out a yelp as the dimensional beast rose again, with scissor blade in hand. “...you know there’s probably a crack I could make about running with scissors here!” Before she could say anything more, Reversers swarmed the area. The insect-like foot soldiers chittered and chattered as they slashed and stuck at the two rangers. Autumn ran up a tree, before kicking herself off it, and slamming her fist into the earth sending several of the creatures flying. Autumn grabbed one, swinging it around toppling more reversers like dominos. Meanwhile, Robert found himself fending off the maniac monster, just barely blocking their blade strikes.  “You’re quite the special snowflake aren’t you?” the monster said, as Robert dodged a scissor slash. “Thinking you can take me on all alone!” “Oh, don’t worry, Bitch-Beast, soon as Autumn’s done with your mooks, I won’t be alone,” Robert said, kicking upwards and knocking the monster’s blades out of her hands. “Meanwhile, really? Special Snowflake? That’s so old hat.” “Oh, keep telling yourself that, keep on mansplaining’ why I suck,” said the creature. “Just go on and empower yourself! You’re like all men!” Robert leaped forwards, and locked his legs with her head, slashing at her. He then leaped off of her, sending an energy-infused slash at the monster before spinning and scoring another slash. “#You suck,” Robert said. “I know plenty of feminists. Like Autumn said, you give them a bad rep.” “Oh, keep on saying that, go to your safe space! Deny it all you want, soon we rise and overthrow your culture of oppression!”  “Oh for fu…” Robert grumbled. “Have you ever heard of the term broken record? Cause, guess what? You fit the term!” “Oh, so you want to talk down to us?” the crazed dimensional beast asked. “Then let me give you a costume that exposes you for being the pig that you are!” Her sewing needles covered the ranger, having given him no time to dodge. In a flash of light, he demorphed and was covered in new attire, a long trench coat with a condor emblazoned on the back. “Perfection!” the beast shouted as she danced around. “Another masterful piece of attire!” Autumn slammed a fist into her face. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re giving Rarity competition, you’ll corner the market.” she drawled. Before she could pummel her any further, an energy slash knocked Autumn off balance and demorphed her. Gray stepped into view, smiling at the new dimensional beast. “Come, Fashionbeasta,” he said. “You have plenty more chaos to create.” “Get your hands off me, pig!” she grumbled. “But you are right, I’ve got plenty more creations that I’m ready to rock this town with!” “Robert, Robs?” Autumn said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Come on now, speak to me!” “Hello…” the black ranger purred. “Now, aren’t you a pretty thing? I mean, wow!” “Yes, well…” Autumn giggled, playing with her mane nervously. “No, seriously, you are!” the new Robert said wrapping his hands around Autumn from behind, before kissing the nape of her neck. Autumn shivered before she let out a yelp as the man’s hands moved upwards. Grabbing him, Autumn twisted his arm. “OWWWWWW!” “Okay, not sure what’s happened to you, but hands! Hands,” Autumn lectured. “Okay, clearly that ‘Fashionbeasta’ did something to you. Like, wowza. Old you didn’t ask to get kicked in the balls, and oh trust me I’m tempted…” “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you!” Robert said, fiddling with his coat. “I’m a ranger too, I just believe that all of me should be shared with the world. That’s all!” Autumn facepalmed. “Okay, we so need to have a little ‘chat’ with Fashionbeasta,” Autumn said. “Like, wow. Did she loosen all of your inhibitions?” “Well, possibly,” Robert theorized. “Hell if I know. Maybe you’re right, maybe she did or maybe she didn’t. Maybe the world begged for this new me! Because I feel free! Fighting fit like a fox, really!” “So… that’s a yes in that you’re going to help me?” Autumn asked in confusion. “Well, duh! Of course I’m gonna help you, leave no fellow ranger in peril right? In fact, I’ll make a show of doing it! Yeah, time to make a show of saving the world! Hade ni ikuze! Right?” “...and I’ll pretend to understand neighponiese,” Autumn said. “Just for you. Well, bright side I suppose. You’re not all bad, and hey, maybe you’ll exhibit a bit more enthusiasm when you morph!” “Of course I’ll be enthusiastic!” Robert declared, punching the air. “Hello, superhero?” Screams split the air, as both Autumn and Robert shared a nod and beat feet down into Ponyville proper. Everyone was seemingly dressed in costume, ranging from knights to police, to pirates, to… well, just about anything you could possibly imagine. Robert’s eyes widened as he saw a group of ponies dressed like various criminals tormenting a certain zebra. “I was hoping for price cuts on pine nuts, not pirates!” Zecora said as she tried to get away from the roguish rampaging rapscallions. Robert dived in with a flying kick, flooring one of the thugs, before slamming a fist into another.  “At your service,” Robert bowed, kissing Zecora’s hand. “Okay, okay, I get it. You need a minute, but what can I say? When I make an entrance, I make an entrance, it’s go big or go home for me!” “My my, by chance your advance at first glance seems to entrance!” Zecora blushed before a pony dressed up as a knight stepped between the two. “Now this knight doesn’t seem to think you’re quite alright! It gives me quite a fright!” “Yeah, me too!” Robert said as he ducked a sword slash. “Oh, great, a literal white knight! And they say chivalry is dead!” Roundhouse kicking the knight in the stomach, Robert fished around in his trenchcoat, only to find handcuffs. Cuffing the knight, he muttered: “...now, are you a mare or a stallion? One’s cool, the other’s gonna get kinda awkward…” “Oh, don’t you know?” Autumn said backhanding one of the pirates. “Bisexuality is a thing. It’s kinda encouraged.” “I’m not a homophobe, thank you!” Robert said, cuffing another of the pirates. “I’m actually pretty offended you implied me as such! Ussai, ba~ka!” “And I’m pretty sure that was a phrase that just ruined your chances of a date with me!” Autumn decided, tossing a glance skywards. “Oh, don’t worry, you’ll come around,” Robert said before winking at a blushing Zecora. “They always do!” Autumn grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him off as more screams lit up the area. They had a job to do. They followed the sounds of screams to Shining running wild on a motorbike he’d found… somewhere. Looking like a stereotypical delinquent, it didn’t take a genius to guess what had happened.  Robert and Autumn dived for cover as the mad motorcyclist drove on past, before tires squealed as he turned back to come at them again. “I’m tearing it up!” he called. Robert groaned, and reached for his sidearm. “...mou, what is it? 2020? How old is this joke by now? What decade is it from?” “Hey, don’t you insult my fashion sense shelf! Now, out of the way or I’ll be runnin’ you down!” Shining called gunning the engine. Robert suppressed an even louder grown. He fired, popping the tire and sending the mad motorcyclist spinning end over end before Autumn caught him. She sent Robert a particularly nasty glare.  “You could have killed him! That was incredibly reckless!” she lectured, as he shrugged with a wily grin. “Hey, I said I was going to do this with a sense of show, and so I did. Hade ni ikuze! Right? Mou!” Robert grumbled. “Hey, maybe you’re not so bad eh Shelf?” Shining laughed. “You’ve got style!” “Yeah, you’re definitely not getting that date.” Autumn decided. “Oh, where’s Sunset when you need her…? Oh, of course, she’s probably been turned into a love-sick sycophant.”  Autumn then turned her head, and saw her another and a bunch of other mares including Lily and Rose in a bistro now turned Maid Cafe. French maid costumes and all, complete with stockings. Robert’s eyes turned to hearts, with Shining’s soon to follow. “...No, I take it back, that’s worse,” Autumn grumbled. “I thought Fashionbeasta was supposed to be ‘progressive’.” “It’s a perfectly legitimate job…” Robert tried to point out.  “...one can only wonder what Fashionbeasta’s done to Vapor,” Autumn muttered to herself. “I’m not sure I want to know, honestly!” “I see you’re all enjoying my newest creations~!” Fashionbeasta sing-songed as she popped out from behind a counter, and to Autumn’s great surprise none of the maids ran for it. Including Vapor who was now amongst them. Autumn’s jaw dropped. “Well, hello there!” Sunset chimed in as she grabbed a napkin and began wiping the dimensional beast clean. “My, you’re quite the mess! All covered in hot oil and sweat! Has anyone cleaned you up at all?” Lily grabbed a tablecloth and flung it in front of the monster, while Sunset pulled up a chair, and gently nudged the dimensional beast into it. As Rose began rubbing the creature’s shoulders, all the other rangers watched in what could only be described as abject disbelief.  “You gotta be kidding me… Like, you sure we’re seeing this right?” Shining muttered. “Then again, it is a maid’s job to service everybody! Hey, maybe I should…” Autumn smacked him upside the head. “Hey, what was that for, shelf?” Shining demanded. “Uh, last I checked, you’ve got a marefriend…” she drawled. “...well, she’s about to get several!” Robert harrumphed. “All impossibly pretty!” “And this from the man who said he wasn’t into ponies…” Autumn muttered. “Wow, that outfit really did change you. And I thought it was the marijuana patches that…” “Marijuana patches? What marijuana…” Robert wondered to himself before rolling up his sleeves. “...does she mean these? Those aren’t… Agh, never mind! Don’t we have a monster to fight?” He morphed with a cry of “Take off, wings rise! Condor Ranger Power!” and charged into the bistro slashing Fashionbeasta’s table in half.  He was then bapped over the head by both Roseluck and Sunset who wielded paper fans with deadly accuracy.  “How rude! This monster is our customer, have you no class?” Sunset said shoving him into a chair, and then placing a table in front of him. “Guess it’s up to me to teach you proper etiquette.” “Oh, you can teach me anything Senpai…” Robert purred, only to receive another whack for his troubles.  “And it starts by no flirting with the wait staff. We’re here to serve you, ‘master’, but we’re not here to date you,” Sunset said in the politest term she could muster. “I may be a ranger, but there’s always alternatives to violence. A little kindness always goes a long way, don’t you think?” “W-Well, I mean, apparently it is one of the driving forces in Equestria so…” Robert stammered out.  Finally, Gray could hold his composure for no longer. He stepped out of the shadows, laughing up a storm. “I don’t believe it, Cozy’s plan has worked better than any of us could have hoped! You’re all so concerned with acting out your roles that you can’t even fight us!” Shining and Autumn ran inside, ready to morph. Lily and Rose grabbed the morphers from their hands and quickly shoved them and Gray into chairs. These chairs found themselves at the same table as Robert. “Now now, there will be no fighting…” Lily started. “...because you are here to enjoy yourselves, take a load off Masters and Mistresses.” Rose finished, dusting off all four tablemates.  “...I don’t believe this,” Autumn said, slamming her head into the table with a groan. Sunset shoved a plate of cake in front of her at the very last moment, and Autumn’s mane was covered. “Oops!” Sunset said with a little blush.  “Can’t time your plates, right eh Princess?” Shining cackled. Gray meanwhile, was being pampered and petted by the maid staff, all swooning over him. A wine glass was in his hand, and why he didn’t just kill them all was anybody’s guess. “Ooooh, such a strong man…” Rose purred. “All of that steel…” “I bet he’s hard in every sense!” Lily agreed.  “Man, we’re reaching out to everyone! Robots, ponies, humans!” Vapor declared.  Sunset sighed at her two fellow workers’ idiocy.  “Hey wait, so we can’t flirt with them but they can flirt with us?” Shining asked. “Man, what a rip off!” “This is so unprogressive, but… who cares?” Fashionbeasta decided with a shrug as both Vapor and Roseluck trimmed her toenails and gave her a spanking new polish. Gray nearly blew his oil pressure as, A, he realized he wasn’t getting their attention anymore and B, who he really was. “Raaaaaaaaaagggggghhhh!” Gray said as he flipped the table over in a fit of rage. Snapping his fingers, Reversers swarmed out of the woodworks. “We are not here to be served, we are warriors of the Reverse Empire! We did not come here to eat, we came to conquer! Reversers, destroy them all!” And Sunset had enough as well, apparently. “Okay, I try so hard to teach you both proper etiquette, but no…” Sunset steamed before morphing and striking down all of the Reversers with a slash of fire. She sent Gray flying with a punch. “Okay, fine, you know what? You asked for it, you got it! I’m going to have to beat some manners into you all!” “...I think she’s gone crazy…” Robert murmured as he and the other rangers morphed. Vapor needed some prompting, namely a tap on her morpher. However, all the same, the fight spilled back out into the streets, blades against blades as both monster and Ranger went to battle. Sunset sent Fashionbeasta flying with a powerful kick, and whirled around to launch a magic blast at Gray sending him flying as well. “...I think I’m in love.” Robert decided.  And Autumn thought it was time to see Rarity. And so they did, finding themselves at Carousel Boutique. Rarity, upon seeing what had happened, was understandably infuriated.  “Ooooooh, the nerve of this monster! I don’t know what I hate more about her, setting feminism back by a hundred years -at least!- or… well, this. Me, darlings, I have a belief. And that belief is the clothes should fit the person, and not the person fitting the clothes! Take Robert for example, he’s got a great thing going on. I love stallions in uniform, personally!” “So, can you fix them?” Autumn asked. “I’m personally getting rather tired of all this. Robert flirting with every mare in sight, is…. Yeah, it’s starting to get on my nerves. I’m just waiting for when he starts flirting with you.” “Oh, so do you and him have a ‘thing’?” Rarity inquired with a girlish giggle. “No!” Autumn snorted.  “If you say so dearie,” Rarity remarked. “If I may, I should inquire why you’re so eager to get these four back to normal. I mean, all of Ponyville is going mad right outside my doorstep. Are you thinking I have a first-come, first-serve policy? Which, yes, in this instance is entirely true. I’m going to be overwhelmed here. ...Hmm, maybe I should contact Suri Polomare and a few of my other fashion-conscious friends. Going to need all the help I can get!” “Rarity, please,” Autumn pleaded. “Robert’s your friend, don’t you want to see him back to normal?” “Oh, you had to play the friendship card didn’t you?” Rarity sighed. “Fine, fine. I have a sneaking suspicion that all we need to do to snap back your friends back to normal is getting them to wear something more… familiar. A scrap of clothing will do, really!” “I think this will be the only time that shouting: “Gentlemen, take off your clothes!” will be appropriate outside of sex!” “Darling, please, don’t be crude,” Rarity said in a complete deadpan. “This is already weird enough as it is.” “Mmmm, I dunno, just saying…” Autumn said. “Are you sure you and he don’t have a ‘thing’?” Rarity facepalmed. She supposed she deserved that.  Then, another explosion. More ponies causing chaos, or the monster? One could only guess. Either way, Autumn knew she had a job to do. Rushing out, -to Rarity’s great confusion- it wasn’t long before she and the other Rangers arrived on the scene. Fashionbeasta and her agents were firing blasts everywhere, this way and that way, shouting: “Burn it all down! Show this culture of hatred that we won’t take it anymore!” “Oh, we're not gonna take it… No, we ain't gonna take it… Oh, we're not gonna take it anymore!” Robert sang along in a mocking tone.  “We've got the right to choose it! There ain't no way we'll lose it, this is our life, and this is our song…” Shining joined in. “Hey, how’d you know this was my favorite song, eh shelf?” “Are you mocking meeeeeeeee?” Fashionbeasta hissed out. “No, we’d be paying you a compliment!” Robert drawled. “No mocking here!” “Reversers, deal with them,” Fashionbeasta ordered as the bug creatures surged forwards. “I have to think up some new creations, ones which will fully bind these pigs to my whim!” “Oh, so even you need to be sucked off?” Shining said as he split-kicked two of the mooks. “I’ll get you, you and your little dog too!” Robert said slamming a Reverser into a lamppost. “I mean, that’s what I heard, right mate?” Autumn snorted, in spite of herself. Well, she supposed New Robert could be funny. All the while, she grabbed a Reverser, lifted it up, and brought back down onto her knee with a sickening CRACK! Next, she kicked a reverser through a door, and the battle continued into a warehouse. Autumn looked around her, all around her were rolls upon rolls of fabric stacked upon what seemed to be at least a mile of shelving. Of course it was a textile warehouse, oh how so fitting for today she grumbled. Autumn found herself dodging and spinning to avoid a barrage of sewing needles from Fashionbeasta.  “You’re the only one left, you know!” she laughed. “What do you think you’ll look good in, a firefighter’s costume? Hmm, how ironic, how perfectly ironic!” “Careful, lady, or you might just find out that you’re gonna get burned,” Autumn said before grabbing a roll of fabric, and tossing it over the sewing machine-themed monster. She roared in rage and indignity as she frailed about, trying to pull the massive roll off of her. Autumn surged forwards, delivering a series of lightning-fast punches before grabbing Fashionbeasta and tossing her behind her.  Autumn found herself cartwheeling out of the way to avoid another storm of needles, before shoving a wheeled shelf towards Fashionbeasta, knocking her off balance. The monster recovered, and leaped towards Autumn, scissor blades in hand.  “You weren’t hugged enough as a child, were you?” Autumn deadpanned, slamming her elbow into the blades, bending them with her sheer kirin strength. She then elbowed Fashionbeasta in the face causing her to stagger. “Mama must have told you not to run with scissors. Turns out, it’s dangerous!” At this, she grabbed the wrecked weapon, and sliced at Fashionbeasta with it. Meanwhile, the rest of the Rangers were finishing off the Reversers. Sunset was spanking the mooks, telling them to clean up their acts, Vapor was making them sneeze with her duster while Shining and Robert went to town on the insectoid creatures. Shining flipped behind a desk, and shoved it forwards tripping up several of the creatures while Robert? He’d gone into a series of spins and flips that would do the Lupinrangers proud, gunning down the monsters, tallying them up with each Reverser downed. He fired blast after blast, before ducking behind a pillar like an old west gunfighter and spinning out out of cover as Shining tossed him his spare sidearm. Robert charged forwards, shooting them all down, before flipping and twisting in midair only to fire backwards into the mob. Landing, he blew dust off his pistols.  “See, told you I’d make a show of it!” Robert declared as all of the mooks went down in explosions. Gray, with a roar lunged out of the darkness blade in hand, but Robert tossed one of his guns aside and punched him in the stomach. Uniting his blade with his sidearm, he fired off several shots, scoring several headshots. Gray snarled, and sliced forwards, only for Robert to flip over him recovering his second gun. Gray spun around just in time, and deflected the shots with his blade, before sending an energy slash surging forwards. Downing Robert, he chuckled. “..what was that about making a show of things?” Gray deadpanned. A roll of fabric was tossed at him, before he could strike the final blow.  “Get away from him, you ruffian!” Rarity said before helping Robert up. “My guardian angel…” he said lovingly, Rarity blushing a bright red. “Well, I suppose I should have guessed. Royal Guard and all, you would be a prime candidate to be one of the Rangers. I’m guessing you and the rest of Autumn’s friends are the team?” Rarity asked. “Well, explains why she was so urgent to get you all back to normal!” “I feel pretty normal, in fact I’ve never felt more alive!” Shining said, knocking the shit out of a Reverser. Just then, Autumn came flying into the picture, bruised and battered.  “...Yes, well, something tells me that your friend would like you back to normal as soon as possible, so…” Rarity said, and with a series of teleports clad all four messed up Rangers in clothing that belonged to them alone. Robert, his condor jacket. Vapor, her sweatshirt. Sunset, her leather jacket, and finally Shining in his royal guard helm. And like a fog lifting, their minds became clear. “...you gotta be kidding me,” Sunset said as she realized what she was wearing, in a mix of embarrassment and anger. Vapor’s reaction to her maid costume was… entirely different. “Oh, I’m so keeping this. It’s cuuuuuuuuutttttteeee!” she squealed. Robert, for his part, tossed his guns aside in what looked to be a mix of horror and shock. Running over to Autumn, he helped her up while kicking Fashionbeasta aside.  “Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I think I know what time it is,” Autumn said.  “Oh yeah, though one question first,” Robert had to ask before turning back to Rarity. “How did you…?” “You ran off in such a rush! I was worried, so I followed. Glad I did!” Rarity affimed. She saw both Fashionbeasta and Gray getting up. “Annnndd I really should be getting to cover right about now…” With that, she quickly dashed behind some shelves as the battle began. She watched in amazement as the Rangers stood firm, ready to morph. As much as she mocked the outfits, even she had to admit this was kinda fun to watch in a corny superhero way. “It’s Morphin’ Time!” Sunset called, the words coming naturally to her. “Take off, wings rise! Falcon Ranger Power!” “Take off, wings rise! Swallow Ranger Power!” Shining barked. “Take off, wings rise! Owl Ranger Power!” Autumn called for the second time that day. And also for the second time that day… “Take off, wings rise. Condor Ranger Power,” said Robert in the most unenthusiastic way imaginable. “Take off, wings rise! Swan Ranger Power!” Vapor chirped, and in an explosion of light and energy they morphed feeling a power rush through them. “With the reach of a Falcon! Power Ranger Red!” Sunset lead. “With the speed of a swallow! Power Ranger Blue!” Shining declared. “With the strength of an owl! Power Ranger Yellow!” Autumn grinned. “With the swiftness of a condor. Power Ranger Black.” Robert sighed, barely giving any effort into his pose. “With the grace of a swan! Power Ranger White!” Vapor shouted, feeling much more excited for this role call than last time. As explosions erupted behind them, they shouted in unison: “Power Rangers, Sky Strike!” Shouting battle cries, they charged into the fray going toe to toe with their opposition. Robert and Shining double-teamed Gray fighting fiercely. Neither was particularly pleased with having their minds messed with for the second time in a row, and they worked in frightening unison. Kicking him in the stomach, they watched Gray stagger before Robert leaped off Shining’s shoulders going into a dive before slashing Gray across the stomach. Kicking himself off the robot, he flipped behind Shining even as the blue ranger unloaded his pistols in a series of laser blasts.  Both rolled to the left or to the right as Gray slashed angrily at him before Robert sent a whirlwind towards Gray with his sword. As Gray was swept away, both Rangers took to the sky, wings extended slashing into his body again and again. Finally the winds died down, and both Rangers landed, sliding backwards on their boots. Gray launched missiles at Shining, but Robert came from the side slashing him across the chest making sparks fly. Meanwhile, it was girls' night out as they took down Fashionbeasta. Every time the monster tried to get at them, one Ranger jumped away only for another to take her place. Autumn landed several solid blows, only to leap away as the monster swung at her. Sunset drew back the strings of the falcon summoner and fired a piercing arrow at the creature. Fashionbeasta staggered, only to quickly recover and fire a needle storm at her. Sunset rolled out of the way, and Vapor charged forwards, blade in hand and infused with energy. Striking the dimensional beast across the chest, she raised her blade and struck again.  “Your compliance puts the abusers in-” Fashionbeasta started but... ...Autumn cut her off with a punch. “Broken record…” “God, you are triggered!”  Finally, Autumn had enough, grabbing the monster by the neck. Her voice distorted as she went full Nirik for a time. “You know what that means? Like, do you actually know what it means? Let me give you an education! It’s meant to refer to those stricken with PTSD, and their ‘triggers’ give them flashbacks! So… instead of you reappropriating it for your nonsense... SHUT UP!” She tossed the monster unceremoniously to the ground as the other Rangers joined her. “Gawd, that felt good!” Autumn vented, the flames beginning to die away under her helm. “Now, let’s finish this bitch off! Sweet Mother Mercy, I think I’ve got a headache!” The Rangers happily obliged. “Winged Victory Final Slash!” They charged up their blades, before striking with a multicolored slash of energy striking down Fashionbeasta, but as ever… up she went like a knockoff Ultraman re-energized by her dimensional bug. Wings were scrambled, the rangers taking off to the sky. Jet engines roared as the zords cracked the sound barrier with thunderous booms, flying into view. The rangers teleported inside their cockpits, machinery beeping and whirring to life. Autumn, almost immediately, went on the offensive. Firing off missiles from her craft to keep Fashionbeasta off balance, she watched as both Robert and Shining’s jets flew above her like she was King Kong or something. Fashionbeasta swiped at the air, trying desperately to knock them out of the skies. Then, she let out a roar of pain hopping in place. You see, what Autumn had done was use her winch to grab a massive boulder and then she dropped it atop the dimension beast’s foot. Grabbing another, she went into a sharp turn, slamming her boulder and winch into the monster’s face like it was a massive frail. Climbing skywards, the boulder came down atop her head. She was forced to pull away as Fashionbeasta began firing needles like missiles at her, Autumn snarling. She was really beginning to gain a special hatred for that attack. Then, from out of the clouds came both Vapor and Sunset, both launching missiles at the dimensional beast toppling her with an earthshaking thud. “I have had enough of all of you!” Fashionbeasta roared. “You’re all just a bunch of SJWs cramping my style!” “Does… does anyone know what that actually means?” Sunset had to ask, simply out of curiosity. “Don’t ask, it’s an empty buzzword that’s long since lost any meaning. Presuming it ever had any…” Robert’s voice crackled over the comms, with a faint note of disgust. Pressing a button, he continued to fire lasers at the beast, swooping down low, engines howling as he climbed higher nicking her in the chin with his shots.  Fashionbeasta roared in indignity, and brought out her scissor blades again, nearly and neatly cleaving the jet in half had it not rocketed ahead at the last moment. She continued to slash at the air even as she was bombarded with laser fire, all the other zords converging on her. And then, they converged on themselves as they combined. She saw them coming around for another pass and was forced to think fast. And so she did. Thrusting her hand forwards, the Phoenix Flier was soon wrapped up in massive threads by Fashionbeasta. It collided into the earth, ripping up the ground. As Sunset tried to coax the jet back into life, she cursed loudly. Next, she began firing the massive vehicle’s rear thrusters to try and burn away the textile, however, more wrapped themselves around the jet. Sunset sighed and just swore some more. Her head met her control console. Autumn then got an idea as she saw the transformation controls. “Here’s hoping this works… Megazord mode, began transformation now!”  She took a little chip from her Morpher with the others following suit. On little screens came up five images of birds, before another button was pressed on each console initiating the transformation sequence. The falcon zord’s cockpit retracted into its body, even as black and white changed into legs. Masses of metal clanged together, a head popping out of the whole structure even as blue and yellow shifted to arms, bursting free of the fabrics. The megazord shone in the sun, and Fashionbeasta let out a scream of rage as the massive mecha marched forward with a mighty gilded sword in hand. She spat fire, literally, but the megazord raised its shield as a wall of flame erupted into front of it. It charged out of the fire, slashing away at its opponent. Hell, it had actually absorbed the flames into the sword, and like the avenging archangel Micheal it struck again and again. Fashionbeasta stood very little of a chance. Finally, the megazord charged forwards for the final blow and then leaped into the air bringing the sword down. Fashionbeasta let out a final dying scream, before falling forwards and exploding in a truly magnificent fireball. “Power Rangers… victory is ours!” Autumn said as the Megazord stood tall and proud in the setting sun.  Later that evening, Rarity found herself wandering through the Boutique in search of her roomie. Well, okay then. So he was a Ranger on the side. She could deal with that. Okay, so maybe asking him to model some of her stuff and work to drum up sales was a bit too much of a job for him right now. He deserved some time to himself, really! It was the least she could do for him. Gently knocking on the door, she heard a yelp of surprise along with things crashing. Robert opened the door, with a gentle if not somewhat nervous smile. He looked as if he’d tossed his clothes on hastily. Out of the corner of her eyes, Rarity spotted what looked to be wrappings strewn out on the floor. Wow, that monster must have really hurt him, she thought. “Yes?” Robert asked, somewhat confused, and noted the look on Rarity’s face. “Something wrong?” “No, nothing’s wrong,” she replied quickly before bringing him into a gentle hug. “I just want to say, thank you.”