//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Memoriam // Story: Flickers // by LoyalRenegade //------------------------------// Part II: A Damaged Mind Chapter 7 – Memoriam - I am crouched down, curled up against a tall figure. I can’t recognize her, but I know she’s important to me. The figure whispers softly in my ear: “Remember who you are. Remember who you are.” A loud knocking echoes from the door, followed by numerous deafening bursts of gunfire. My ears ring, blood flowing onto the floor. It’s at this very moment that everything begins to change. I let out a gasp as the dream’s quickly replaced by the real world. It all comes to me at once: a tightness within my chest crushing my ribcage; the hunger, which already spikes; all of the undecipherable, though still troubling emotions that plague me; the latent imagery of a nightmare that had since burned itself into my consciousness. Yet, somehow, in spite of all that, my mind is very much awake and aware. In fact, I feel significantly more focused and in tune with reality than ever before – in retrospect, the last few days felt as if I’ve been lagging behind in the past. But now, everything feels so much more present. Unfortunately, I’m denied the freedom to relish in my newfound awareness as the memory of the dream soon returns, playing over and over like a broken record. I groan, clutching my head inbetween my forelegs until it passes. But it refuses to go away no matter how long I wait. There is not a single detail of the dream that I can’t recall. Even though most of it was lacking in terms of visual clarity, the blood, in particular, I see almost perfectly, as if it were right there. The sheer vividness of the fresh, red, glistening liquid is more than enough to make me sick, planting a deep and distressing feeling within my stomach. Barely resisting the urge to vomit, I push against the ground, standing up on wobbling hooves with my head bent downwards. I shut my eyes tightly, idle, hardly able to breathe, my windpipe choking against the very air it tries so desperately to inhale. I wait. It takes a long time before I finally manage to catch my breath. Even then, the hunger spike persists. I feel near my core, the feeling still as strong as when I’ve awakened. It doesn’t seem like it’ll be going away anytime soon. I have no choice but to simply tough it out until it does so. I glance up, view parallel with the horizon. What happened? I think. Where are the others? I run through the previous night’s events: walking westward in the dead of night, Twilight and Pathfinder arguing incessantly, getting chased by scout droids, blacking out... and then the dream. My throat locks up once again at the thought of it. I chitter as my weight unconsciously shifts to the right, falling towards the low wall of the narrow gully. Before making contact, I try to use my forelegs to soften the blow at the last second to soften the blow, but to no avail. I moan painfully. Removing my forelegs from the wall, I lie down against it and rub my slightly aching shoulder. At least I had the chitin to absorb some of the shock. Taking deep breaths, I look along the gully’s walls and floor from within it, left to right:. nNothing but soil and foliage. I face back over to the middle and stare at the grass near my hooves. I then squint, spotting a small golden object hidden within the blades. Huh? What’s this? I wonder, pushing off the wall of the gully to reach it. As I draw closer, I see that it’s a ring. I reach my hoof over, fiddling with it, examining it. When one particular motion flips the object onto its side, I find a nasty bullet hole embedded into the otherwise smooth surface. I stop. I remember getting shot right before blacking out... and yet, I’m fine right now. How could that be? Maybe... Slowly, I sit up and lift a foreleg up to the top of my head. I feel around the base of the horn – the fact that something is missing from there becomes immediately apparent, and it doesn’t take long to put two and two together. The ring Twilight put on me was accidentally shot off by the droid, I realize, glancing back down to the golden piece. Any lower, and I’d be dead. I give off a short amused hum. "Good thing that didn't happen," I murmur, running the flat of my hoof against the bullet hole and feeling the unique texture it had created. Twilight slid this thing on my horn to prevent me from using magic. Not that I knew how to do that. I pause, gandering up to the forest trees. My focus hadn't dwindled in the slightest since awakening, every last leaf and branch intriguing me with their sheer realness. And it's only now that I feel like this, right after the ring's absence. I remove my hoof from it and glance off to the side. Was the ring impairing my cognitive functioning somehow? It had to have been. Perhaps it could be attributed to brain damage from the night of the thunderstorm. Still, Crystal never mentioned anything of the sort beyond my amnesia, so it was definitely the ring. There is no other likely explanation. Clearing my throat, I stand up again, giving one final look to the ring below. Whatever the ring’s effects were, it had clearly been undone by the droid. Twilight probably made sure the ring would never be able to be taken off normally, so if sheer ballistic force was enough to make the ring fully slip off of my horn, it might've even completely nullified all of its other effects. If I were to slide it back onto my horn, it’d probably do nothing at all – not that I'm particularly eager to potentially handicap myself like that if it turns out to be at least partially functional. Either way, it's now nothing but useless, busted jewelry, and so, giving the golden piece no further regard, I kick it aside, stepping out from the gully and onto the ground above. I survey the surrounding area, trying to remember what I was doing. Right, last night, I recall, taking the time to think it all through. We were running. And then, I fell behind, one of the scout droids caught up to me... and then... I stop. Hold on. Where did it go? I spin around, searching the trees. Actually, why didn't it kill me? The droid had me completely disabled. Why didn't it just finish the job? My mind answered for me unexpectedly: the droids never planned to kill any of us in the first place. If they did, the very first one would've shot us on sight; it only attacked when Twilight did, the rest of us then considered hostile by association. And sure, it tazed Crystal without provocation, but that was a non-lethal measure that had shown zero intent to destroy. I blink. Hold on, where did that come from? How do you know all of this? It continued: as for the one that had me in pursuit, when it knocked me out with the initial blow to my horn, it then checked my vital signs to ensure that I was no longer a danger to it. Even though I wasn't dead, it could still tell that I was nevertheless incapacitated. Therefore, it ceased to recognize me as a threat, giving it no reason to expend any more effort to neutralize me. I shake my head. It was all too specific and made far too much sense to be false. Even then, I had my doubts. Okay, so, if they weren't going to kill us, then what were they doing? Why did the first droid even touch Crystal at all? The droid probably didn't know what she was, and so marked her as a foreign lifeform. And, as with all foreign objects, she was to be examined. In fact, looking over to my left hoof, a few needle scars can be found there, mismatching my injuries from the night of the thunderstorm. Crystal was about to receive a similar treatment, the tazing only having been applied to ensure the process went smoothly. It was only to get the data it needed and then move on. As it was programmed to do. ...How do you know how it was programmed? I have no answer for that. I remember how quickly I recognized the scout droids when I first saw them. I might've not known what they were initially, but it still eventually came to happen. Twilight questioned how I was easily able to identify them – now, I find myself sharing such suspicions. If this is my memory coming back, then how come the droids seem so much more familiar to me than my own species? I shake my head. I should move on. The whole matter's a dead end for now. After rubbing my eyes, I continue from where I've left off: Alright, I start, so, where are you, Phoenix- My eyes go wide. Phoenix. "Is that... holy shit,” I whisper softly, “that's my name." Right after, something else comes to mind: 713. Right there, plain as day: a name and a number. I rub my fins, looking up, down, and straight ahead as I mutter the two things repeatedly. "Phoenix, seven-one-three. Phoenix, seven-one-three. Phoenix, seven-one-three. Phoenix, seven-one-three... seven-one-three." The number seems important somehow, yet, frustratingly enough, I can't remember why. I search my memory for anything that could tell me of its significance, but I've nothing more than what I have already got. It doesn't help that the hunger somehow still hasn't stopped spiking, only making it harder to think. I sigh. As much as it irks me to have forgotten something that seems so crucial, I need to concentrate. Location; what's my location? I think, looking around. Let's see, somewhere in White Tail Woods... and that's as far as my knowledge goes? Alright. Then what about Twilight? Pathfinder? Crystal? I pause. They aren't dead, right? But that's the thing: I can only assume that Crystal, Pathfinder, and Twilight have all successfully fled away from the droids. If not, then I'm lost. If I'm lost, then, most likely, I'm dead as well. Still, I have good reason to believe they are alive; Twilight ought to be skilled enough to have seen to that. Okay, not dead. So, where would they have fled off to? Most likely, they would've gone to the cave. There aren't really any other places I can think of that they would've chosen, so it’s my best bet. If there's anything that I should do right now, it is to make my way back there A.S.A.P.. And so, I have a clear goal in mind at last. The only problem is that I don't know what direction will lead me to the cave. I do know, number one, that I was running in the same direction as Pathfinder and Twilight and, number two, I was running perpendicular to the gully before I tripped into it. So this means I can go forwards or backwards, as those are the only two directions that won't have me travel parallel to it. Unfortunately, this only gives me a measly fifty-fifty chance of going the right way. I need a better method. I sit on my haunches, letting my eyes shut. It's okay, I just have to think about this. When we first left the cave, we were heading towards The Undiscovered West, which I can safely assume is indeed over to the western direction. The cave being east can then be extrapolated from that. No, no, it's the exact same problem. I don't know what direction 'east' is as much as I know what direction the cave is. I sigh. I still have the option of guessing, I suppose, but if I guess wrong, then I'm only wasting sunlight- wait. The sun. Of course! If I know where it rises and sets at, I can determine east and west. I look through the forest's canopy, searching for it. There. Though partially hidden by the leaves, I still spot the sun laying right in the middle of the sky. Unfortunately, I don't know – or, at least, I don't remember – where it rises from, as that can differ from planet to planet. The only thing I can deduce is that it's currently halfway through the day. Not particularly encouraging. Actually, hold on: what planet am I on, anyways? Obviously, this isn't my home planet. These changeling creatures seem to be foreign to this world, so I'm likely an alien to it. I still don't know what the planet's name is however... I shake my head. Concentrate, I stress. There’ll be time to ask someone about this later. Alright: yesterday, I remember the sun setting behind some kind of mountain range. And that was before we left for The Undiscovered West. Also, when we left, we were heading in the direction of the mountains. So, I can then conclude that the sun sets in the West, which consequently means that it also rises in the East. East, then West. I look straight up again, tilting my head in order to find the sun again. It had changed position slightly since I had last seen it. Additionally, it's going forwards, or, West, relative to me. Therefore... ...I need to go backwards. I turn around, carefully stepping into the gully and out of it once more, looking through the vast forest laid out before me ahead. Then, I proceed to walk, starting my long journey to White Tail Hills. I ought to keep an eye out, I think. There could be other droids out here, lurking around this forest. I need to exercise caution if I wish to survive. A twig snaps underneath my hoof as I step on it, making me look behind at it for a moment before facing the front again. The changelings, too. Though, I should be fine if I don't stray too far from the trees; I think they mostly keep to the skies. I pause. Changelings in the sky... wasn't I going to think about the whole incident with the Pegasai? Must've slipped my mind. I can still recall the event with great clarity – death isn't something that one easily forgets. It might've slipped my mind for a while, but I haven't forgotten the Pegasai whizzing about the clouds as they cleared them out, nor the changelings as they looked on. And, of course, what followed. Even then, I suppose witnessing the whole ordeal didn't trouble me as much as it probably should have. Everyone else seemed to have been at least somewhat bothered by it, but I never came close. Maybe Crystal's right to be so worried about me; who sees all that and yet not give it a second thought? I take a deep breath. I'm getting overly concerned about this, I'm fine. There are more important things to be thinking about. Alright. When the changelings killed all of those Pegasai, they spared only one of them. Why would they do that? Sidestepping a tree, I narrowed my eyes, considering the question. Perhaps I should start by listing out all of the basic details of the scenario, one by one. That way, everything will be put into better context, and so will hopefully be easier to analyze. First of all, what was the changelings' overall goal? There had to be an ulterior motive to the killings; it wouldn't make sense otherwise to do it for its own sake. So what were they trying to accomplish? "The changelings aren't stupid, Pathfinder," Twilight's voice sounds in my mind. "They must know that, in order to maintain balance in nature within Equestria, the weather must be controlled." The weather must be controlled, I echo. That's what they were trying to do, weather control. And so, with that, I have my first fact: 1) The changelings' overall goal was to maintain Equestria's ecosystem via weather control. I hear Twilight speaking in my mind again: "It’s interesting as to why they would need the Pegasai in the first place," I recall. "...the changelings can't control the weather on their own, or there aren't enough of them..." I look off to the side. So, which one is it then? Well, there isn't really a good way of knowing which one is correct. The best I can do is assume one of them to be true and the other false. I don't like doing that, but it's necessary in order to move on: 2) Assumption: the changelings can't do this by themselves. 3) Because of that, they need the Pegasai. Now, what of the Pegasai themselves? Pathfinder mentioned they were all good fliers, right? Hmm... except he was wrong; the Pegasus that was spared was slow enough for the changelings to catch, so: 4) Nearly all the Pegasai likely processed at least above-average flight ability. 5) Only one Pegasus was an exception to that, perhaps being average, or maybe even below average. 6) The changelings' overall flight ability was probably superior to said Pegasus's. Okay, is that everything? I paused. Oh, right. The obvious: 7) The changelings only proceeded to execute the Pegasai, save for the one with lesser flight abilities, after a single individual attempted to flee. After the execution, they then took the surviving Pegasus along with them, presumably returning back to wherever they came from. Now finished, I repeat the facts in order within my head to ensure that I am familiarized well enough with them. Afterwards, I look through them, trying to find some sort of pattern, or even just anything that sticks out in particular. I shake my head. Huh. Nothing immediately noticeable yet. I look up to the sun. It had changed position considerably, though still not even a quarter way through the western half of the sky. I suppose I can return to this matter another time. Waiting might give me a fresher perspective on things, anyway. As if on cue, I hear a growling from my stomach. I glance down. That, and it would appear that I have more... pressing issues now. My literal hunger for love had distracted me from a different need: one for solid food. Of course, it only makes sense that I would only come to notice it now. Even now, the ‘love-hunger’ significantly outweighs the other, almost masking it to the point where I need to focus in order to feel past it, especially as it continues to spike. I'm actually quite concerned that it hasn't ceased doing that yet. Could it be a sign that my love-hunger's getting worse? As if to answer my question, I suddenly feel intensely weak. Before I know it, I'm on the ground, groaning out in pain as I clutch my sides. Unfortunately, it only gets worse, the love-hunger slowly bleeding out from my core and spreading to the rest of my body, getting more and more painful. By the time it creeps into the furthest reaches of my extremities, it's completely intolerable. It feels like I'm freezing to death and being burned alive all at once, as paradoxical as that sounds. I want to scream, but I can't even bring myself to do that. Only a staggered, wailing groan escapes my throat. I am barely able to focus hard enough to silence myself with the flat of my hoof. Leaving nothing but my quiet chittering echoing through the otherwise silent forest. Then, as sudden as it came, it goes away. I let out a heavy breath, as if I've surfaced from deep water. I take a long moment to calm down, sucking in deep breaths. My head spins as I slowly stand, legs shaking. I don't think I've felt anything close to pain of that caliber in my whole life. It wasn't spiking at all this morning, was it? What just happened was the spike. It definitely got worse. I shake my head, looking back forwards. I need to get rid of this hunger, fast; God knows how much worse it'll get later. But how? I sigh. Let's face it, I'm completely lost. I need to find the others; they might be the only ones who'll know what to do. I hear a familiar growling again, making me notice that the need for food is still there, waiting. Alright, if I can't fix the love-hunger, I should at least know how to handle hunger of this kind. I look around, trying to locate a source of food. Okay, I'm a changeling. What else do changelings eat other than what I've had before? I roll my tongue over my pearly white fangs. Meat. I think I've had that before. Not sure how good of a hunter I am though; guess I’ll be finding that out the hard way. In the meantime, I should also keep an eye out for more vegetarian options, like berries or crab apples. I slowly walk forwards, head pivoting around my neck as I search for game and other sources of food. However, aside from the birds I hear from up ahead, those of which I probably won't be able to catch, there's nothing to be found. Patience, Phoenix, I tell myself before shaking my head – it feels so odd to actually have a name now. Even if it’s technically not all that new. As I wait for some game to show up, I watch the birds fly from tree to tree, chirping as they go. They sing all sorts of songs: some sound joyful, others not so much, carrying a more melancholic feeling. Some are fearful, a few going so far as to be of anger. Two birds, in particular, sit upon a branch high above me, their songs seeming to even be of love. For some odd reason, I find it to be rather entrancing, and I find myself subconsciously walking over to them in a trance. As I get closer, the feeling of love gets more intense. I stare at the birds as they sing and dance closely with one another, appreciating the music. I could listen to this without end. I wish to get even closer so I can hear it more clearly, but this is as far as I can get. I never knew a birdsong could carry so much emotion; it's intoxicating. The dance itself is interesting. One bird's mouth lovingly touches the other's wings, nipping at it as if it were preening. It's fascinating how it's able to do that with its beak and sing at the same time; how does it do it? The other bird, in contrast, lies still as its partner does their routine, though it does flap its feathers every now and again. How interesting, I think, it's a sort of dance that mimics preening... I stand up on my lower legs, softly placing my other two hooves on the tree bark to get a closer look at the bird. I glance up to its beak, watching as it sings- Wait. The beak's not moving. Confused, I fall back to the floor, staring downwards. I then look back at the branch. Now that I think about it... I don't hear any kind of song from those two birds at all. I think some more. That's not dancing, either, I realize. They're actually preening. My face slowly falls to the horizon. But... I can still feel the emotion of their song. How? How am I feeling the emotion of a song that doesn't even exist? I look around me, eyes moving from one tree to the next. Different emotions flow from them like before, but I notice that not each one is accompanied by a birdsong. Indeed, some are completely silent. Nevertheless, each one carries at least one kind of emotion. Grief. Joy. More joy. Anger. Fear. All from a tree that seldom makes a single sound, yet exhibits all these emotions. Like I can sense all of these birds' feelings directly... Finally, I start to understand. Of course. I'm a changeling; I feed off of love to survive. That's how I know what they're feeling. I swing my head over to the preening birds. It's a sixth sense; an evolutionary adaptation, perhaps, used in order to locate sources of love. No wonder I was trying to get close to those birds – my survival instincts are acting up. I furrow my eyes. Survival... my hunger. I can finally get rid of it now. I just need to find a way to suck the love out of those things. I poke my tongue on a fang. I assume one uses their fangs to accomplish such a task. A bit like a vampire, perhaps. Now, only to close the distance. I stand against the tree once more, observing its height. The birds aren't far up; just two meters high. I circle the trunk of the tree, searching for a way to climb, but am able to find nothing. Not even a low branch. "Fuck," I lightly mutter, stopping. "How in the hell do I get up there?" I pause, craning my head over to my back. Blue, translucent wings greet me. I've almost forgotten those were there. Actually, I don't know why flying wasn't the first thing I thought about. Maybe I'm just so used to walking by now that it slipped from my mind. Either way, now that I do remember, it should be a lot easier to reach those birds now. Sitting up and straightening out my spine, I prepare to fly. ... Except, I don't remember how. You've got to be kidding me. I rub my eyes. Okay, not a problem. I just have to relearn. I glance back over to my wings. Let's see... I muse, closing my eyes and focusing, proceeding to twitch random muscles on and around my back in an effort to find the ones I needed to flex. For Christ's sake, this really shouldn't be that difficult. I ought to know how to flex a pair of muscles that I've probably used thousands of times before, easily. Like my arms, legs, nec- I abruptly stop, opening my eyes. Arms. Where'd I get that from? I hold out my forelegs, staring at them. Arms... The word seems really familiar to me, and I can almost grasp the concept behind it, but I still can't picture anything in my mind. Almost as if it were struggling to piece it all together. I shake my head, quickly returning to my back and continuing. A whole minute passes, but I still can't get my wings to move. This is really strange. Are they broken? Crystal said they should be fine by now, right? So why wouldn't they- A wing twitches. Nevermind, seems like I got it. I try flexing the same spot, and it happens again. Alright, now the other one. I move my focus to the opposite side and, though it still takes some work, I manage to do the same thing to the other wing after a couple of tries. I then twitch both muscles over and over, and I can't help but grin slightly at my progress. I look up at the tree, the birds' love still holding strong. My grin fades. It will nevertheless still take a lot of practice before I'm able to fly up there. "Ah, f-fu-fuuck," I breathe, shutting my eyes tightly, trying to block out another hunger spike. The pain spreads out like a wildfire again, burning and freezing, making me chitter once more as I fall under my own weight. The birds' love suddenly turns to fear, such emotions then quickly moving away from me as they fly away. I crack one eye open, watching them leave. "No..." I murmur, reaching out with a trembling hoof, "d-don't..." I rest my head on the grass. "GOD F-FUCKING DAMm- agh,” I choke. “DAMMIT!" I yell, clutching my abdomen. All around me, more emotions fly away, spooked by my voice. By the time the spike finishes and I stand, I come to realize just how empty my mind feels. I shake my head. "It was right there," I mutter, "right fucking there. And then my damned hunger shows up and flushes everything straight down the shitter as I try to give it the very thing it wants. What kind of curse is this?" I sigh, dusting myself off. It was pointless anyways. It probably would've taken the entire rest of the day before I'd be able to fly well enough to have reached those birds. And even then, they'd just fly away before I would be able to get too close. If anything, that spike did me a favor. My stomach growls again, reminding me of my other hunger. I pause. Right. That's what I was going to take care of in the first place before I got distracted by all the birds. I walk away from the tree, searching for food again. Still nothing. My eye falls on a bush, lush and green. Somehow, amidst all of the tension of my predicament, I've forgotten that I am capable of consuming raw leaves. However, from what I've gathered, it's not ideal. It'd be best to find something more nutritious. I glance at my abdomen and back to the bush. I suppose I should at least have some of it for the road; it's better than nothing. I make my way to the bush and bite off a leaf. Just as bland as last time. Chewing and swallowing, I eat more, ripping off multiple leaves at the same time. Soon, I've had my fill. Probably not as sustainable as most of what I've been eating before today, but, at the very least, it should silence my hunger for food until later. Moving past the bush, I feel around my maw, picking at small chunks of leaf that had gotten stuck in between my teeth. Notably, my mouth feels quite dry. And now I'm thirsty. Out with one problem, in with the next one. A faint buzzing from up above, hidden behind the trees, catches my attention, my ears stiffening as I turn to that direction. It sounds like an insect- no two insects- no, not insects. I hear them too clearly for how far away they are; they're changelings. And they're only getting closer. ...Well, it's 'out with one problem, in with the other two', now. I frantically search for a place to hide. Fuck me, come on... here. Hastily, though still careful to not make a sound, I slip inside a thick bush as I hear the changelings dip underneath the canopy. Lowering myself down, I listen: "...-aid it came from around here," one voice, a female, says. A short pause. "I don't see shit, Vytryx," says another voice, male. "Sure Pheris ain't just being all panicky?" "Pheris might not be the brightest 'ling to walk the face of Terra, Hyphyn, but I trust her. She definitely heard a scream coming from this place." Terra, I echo. A huff, followed by incoherent mumbling. I cautiously peek out from the bush, staying close to the dirt. Sure enough, I find two changelings more than a few meters away, standing slightly to the left side of my vision. Their bodies face eachother, neither of which in my general direction. Hyphyn, who was briefly shaking his head while looking off to the side, looked back. "She heard a scream," he echoed. "And you two think it's a pony?" "What the fuck else could it be?!" Vytryx exclaims, looking around. "A fuckin' dragon? This far west?" "Well, maybe it was one of us!" Hyphyn retorts. "We lost a lot of 'lings after that thunderstorm the Pegasai made to try and wipe us out!" "Yeah, I know what happened, scrag; I was part of the search party!" she fires back. "And guess what: we found everyone that went missing! Alive or dead, we found all of them!" He waves a hoof at her. "Nuh-uh, not all of them. Nobody's found Amix, Elgnyx, or Aeres yet." Vytryx rolls her eyes. "Whatever, they're probably all dead by now anyways," she says. "If starvation hadn't killed them, then it was that caster, what's-her-name, Twilight Sparker." "...You mean 'Sparkle'?" "Oh what, you obsessed with her?" "No, I hear her damn name tossed around, like, every day. It's burned into my mind." He turns around. "And that's besides the point, Vytryx. She's dead." "Really? You didn't hear?" Hyphyn looks back. "Hear what?" "The 'lings sent to kill her and the other caster are all dead," she says matter-of-factly. "Kinda surprised you didn't know about that." He chitters nervously. "What? Are you kidding me?! She's still alive?! Oh, fuck, we're so dead; we're gonna die here!" "Oh, shut up," Vytryx dismisses. "Quit being such a grub. She's gone; nobody's seen her for days. Probably gone off somewhere far away by now." "How do you know that?" Hyphyn says, chittering again. "I swear on the hive- we're fine," she assures. "Yeah, you won't be saying that when she shows up," he mumbles. "I'll be fucked if she does. Now, come on, we have a job to do. We slacked off plenty enough already." Vytryx moves away from him, looking at the ground. "See any tracks anywhere?" Hyphyn takes a deep breath. Briefly buzzing his wings, he walks, joining her. "Not yet," he says, eyeing the ground. "Well then go look somewhere else! We don't need two 'lings looking at the same patch of dirt!" "Yeah, I know! Ugh." He walks off over to elsewhere. With that, their conversation ends. I note that not once have I sensed the slightest bit of emotion from either of them. Also, they haven't seemed to have sensed mine, either. Apparently, changelings aren't able to sense eachother's feelings. At least for me, that's a good thing, or I would easily have been found already. They might find me soon, though, I think, if there are any tracks they find that lead up to this bush. I watch as they search, considering my predicament some more. Actually, why am I trying to avoid them in the first place? They're my kin, aren't they? They wouldn’t do anything to me. It might even be smart to reveal myself. The changelin- we, seem to be on the winning side, after all. Besides, I'm dying. They'll know how to best satiate the hunger if anyone. I look up. I have family with the changelings, maybe even friends. If I see them all again, that might also help to bring my memory back sooner. Hell, I could even tell them where Twilight is. They clearly want her badly, so it's a good opportunity to give myself a good reputation right off the bat. Crawling out of the bush is starting to sound like a good idea right now. And then, as a bonus, they'll also be getting Pathfinder and Crystal. I'd be considered a hero in their eyes at that poin- I suddenly breathe out. "Crystal..." I utter softly, barely audible to even myself. I look down. She cares about me. A lot. How would she feel if she found out that I was the one who told the changelings where they were all hiding? Already, I didn't like the mental image that entered my mind. She'd feel betrayed, or disappointed, or maybe even angry. And that's aside from the fact that she saved me. And how am I to return the favor? By stabbing her in the back? If I were to be honest, I hardly care for the other two ponies, but Crystal? I can't do that to her. I simply cannot. Perhaps if the situation were any different, I would go along with telling the changelings where Twilight and Pathfinder are. Then again, it's impossible for it to be any different, isn't it? Crystal's the only reason I'm still breathing at all. The only way I'd be alive otherwise is if I had never gotten caught in that thunderstorm. Alright, but I'm still dying right now. Surely, it's still a good move to at least go with Hyphyn and Vytryx? I don't have to utter a single word about any of the three ponies. I breathe deeply. Crystal would be devastated if she ever found out that I left her for the changelings. Of course, I have to do it so I don't die, but I wouldn't be able to tell her that. Aside from the fact that I would have a hard time finding her again, I'd never be able to explain any of that to my fellow changelings. I wouldn't be able to tell Crystal a single thing. As far as she would be concerned, I had left her, plain and simple. I slowly paw at the ground with a hoof, looking at the dirt through one of its holes. I might live if I go with the changelings, sure... but would I be able to live with myself? Could I do that with the knowledge that Crystal will spend the rest of her days thinking of me like that? No. I couldn't. Resolved, I glance back up to the two changelings, who are still in search of tracks. I know what I must do now: get away from them before they find me. But how? I can't move from this bush without making a sound. I could do it slowly, quietly, but they're too close; they'll still hear me. I could stay here and wait until they leave, but then I leave it all to fate; if they find any tracks that belong to me that lead to this bush, I'm toast. "Hey, Vytryx!" Hyphyn yells from a distance; I lift my head slightly. "Look at this! Something's been munching off of this bush!" The bush I was eating from, I realize. "Really?" she says, "Hold on, let me see." She makes her way over to him. That bush is pretty far away. Far enough that they wouldn't be able to hear me. I can hardly believe my own luck; I might make it out of here without getting caught after all. I wait until Vytryx is far away enough before I steadily push on the ground, maneuvering my body out from the opposite side of the bush. The leaves shake as I do so. More than halfway through, I hear a branch snap a bit too loud for my own comfort, and I stop. Thankfully, the changelings don't appear to have heard me, judging from the fact that I still hear their voices over at the other bush. And so, I keep going until I finally break free, standing fast and walking briskly away from the area. Once I'm a sizable distance away, I look behind to make sure I'm not being followed, and then back in front. Relieved, I take a deep breath. Already, I know that I've made the right decision.