"We're getting what?" Gallus asked.
"A buckball team!" Sandbar replied. "It's Equestria's national game. According to this article, the idea for a buckball league played entirely by schools was Princess Celestia's idea. I never knew she was so into fitness."
"Isn't she retiring soon?" Gallus asked, confused. "If so, why is she setting up a scholastic buckball tournament?"
"According to a press release, she's putting that on indefinite hold for some reason, and I wonder if the Tree of Harmony being blown up has something to do with it." Sandbar rubbed his hoof on the base of his chin. "Hmm. Stubble. I need to get that shaved off."
Meanwhile, Smoulder, Yona, Silverstream and Ocellus were pouring over the student newspaper, De Amicitia (for some reason, Twilight had thought giving it an old Ponish name would be a clever idea to lend the project some class, although in reality it simply left the students very confused). "OK, so there's going to be a buckball team," Smoulder noted quietly.
"How in Equestria are non ponies going to play?" Ocellus asked. "The game is so finely tuned for a pegasus, unicorn, and Earth pony that I can't see how other races are going to fit in."
"Maybe they won't?" Smoulder suggested.
"Yona think that xenophobia!"
Smoulder looked onwards in the article. "Want to join in but you're not a pony? Why not join the cheer squad?"
"CHEER SQUAD!" Silverstream cried. "Can I read it, please?"
"Fine," Smoulder sighed, relinquishing the newspaper to miss Sugarhigh.
Silverstream began to read... very, very fast.
"Studentswhoaren'tponiescanshowtheirschoolspiritatthegamesbyjoiningtheschoolscheersquadandbringingschoolspirittothecrowdswhoneedpumingupduringhalftime!Fordetails-"
"Whoa, slow down!" Smoulder shouted. "You're reading so fast I can't understand a word you're saying."
"Oh." Silverstream handed the newspaper back. "Sorry."
Smoulder read the message. A lot slower. "Students who aren't ponies can show their school spirit at the games by joining the schools (there should be an apostrophe there, as it's the cheer squad belonging to the school) cheer squad and bringing school spirit to the crowds who need puming (typo) up during half time! For details-"
"For an official school publication, that was really messy," Ocellus interrupted. "Was the proofreader drunk?"
"Beats me," Smoulder shrugged. "For details, please report to the gymn at 5 this afternoon. Handy that, as that's straight after my lectures finish."
"I've got a seminar on cupcakes that runs until 5:30," Silverstream said. "But I'm certain they'll hold until then."
"See you all there, then," Smoulder finished, and headed for the door.
Yona followed, looking confused. "What do cheer squad do?"
That afternoon, the four of them met at the gymn to see two ponies there, Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof. Both of them were already wearing something vaguely approximating cheerleading outfits, so that reduced the budget. Smoulder found them irritating almost immediately, but it transpired they already had a full routine ready to go for the cheer squad, so there was that (although 'cheer squad' was amusingly misspelled as 'cheer squid' in places). They sat about, waiting, when Rainbow Dash pushed open the door, followed by Snips, who was currently dressed very strangely in a giant hat.
"Get the lights!" Shimmy Shake shouted, and the pair started their dance maneuvre whilst generic pop music played in the background.
"Over and over and over again! We wanna dance for each other and for all of our friends!"
Rainbow Dash yawned and rolled her eyes. "Dancing. Fantastic. I've seen you two around school, haven't I?"
Shimmy Shake nodded. "Im Shimmy Shake, and this is Lighthoof."
"And we are your lead dancers."
Rainbow Dash turned her attention to Yona, Ocellus, and Smoulder. "I didn't know you three would be here."
"Yona want to make giant pony pyramid, despite being Yak!" Yona called, jumping up and down for good measure.
"And I thought it would be a good chance to make a good impression on the other students," Ocellus added. "It'd be nice to be known as something other than 'the student who can shapeshift' or 'Sandbar's nymphfriend'."
"And how about you, Smoulder?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I never took you for the school spirit type."
Smoulder shrugged her shoulders. "Eh. I just came with these two. Guess they think you can make cheer squad cool or something."
"Hold on," Rainbow Dash said. "Did the add in the paper specify that I was leading it?"
"Yes," Ocellus replied.
Rainbow Dash looked around flatly. "Right then," she said quietly.
Snips, every the opportunist, took over the conversation almost immediately. "Now that all that's out of the-"
"SORRY I'M LATE!"
Silverstream suddenly burst through the door, wearing what looked like some sort of spandex outfit. "Sorry Professor Dash! Pinkie Pie's cupcake seminar overran by 10 minutes and-"
"I only got here 5 minutes ago," Rainbow Dash replied, sounding board. "What are you wearing?"
"This is my old cheerleading outfit," Silverstream explained. "I used to be cheerleader for the Mount Aris Mountaineers, the premier hippogriff fireball team!"
"Fireball?" Smoulder asked. "There's a sport I can get behind."
Snips interrupted again. "Okay! Now that we're all here, why don't you tell us the plan? How are you gonna make us into the most awesome cheer squad ever?"
Rainbow Dash again rolled her eyes. "I've got nothing, to be honest. If you guys were an actual buckball team, which is my area of expertise, I would be able to help. But I've never coached a cheerleading team, so I can't really help."
Snips laughed. "Yes! Good one, coach! But Headmare Twilight picked you for the job, so I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing."
"If you say so." Rainbow's flat tone of voice was not lost on the others.
Thanfully, Silverstream was much more perky. "I know!" she called. "Let's try the routine my old team did! It's super fun!"
One of the ponies switched a music machine on, playing backing music.
"Over... and over... and over a...gain!" Shimmy Shake tried to dance, but she wobbled about following Yona's stomping.
Lighthood rapidly found herself in the same situation. "We want to dance... for each other and for all of our friends!"
Smoulder soon inherited Rainbow Dash's apparent disinterest. "Two, four, six, eight."
Ocellus followed, speaking so quietly that only mice would be able to understand her. "Uh... friendship school is really... great."
To top it all off, everybody fell over when Yona stomped again.
Silverstream landed in front of them. "2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? MOUNTAINEERS!"
Smoulder grumbled. "That was an utter mess."
Shimmy Shake raised her hoof. "It's kind of hard to stick to our choreography when the floor is moving."
"Maybe you could stomp a bit less, Yona?" Lighthoof suggested.
"Can we make pony pyramid instead?" Yona asked.
"How about we can come up with some chants first?" Ocellus asked. "I find it helps if I know what I'm saying in advance."
"I've already got one!" Silverstream exclaimed.
"For the wrong team," Smoulder sighed.
"So, I mean, there's a few... uh, a lot of problems, but nothing you can't solve, right?" Snips asked.
"Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, who hadn't been paying attention. "Oh, yeah. Listen, you guys don't have anything to worry about."
"We don't?" Smoulder asked.
"Nope. In fact, I think what you all just did is totally fine. You guys have got this. So, uh, I'm just gonna head down to the field. Uh, great practice, everypony!" Rainbow Dash whizzed out of the door and vanished, with Snips following behind her lugging his trunk.
"Follow them," Smoulder said, and they set off after them.
It didn't take them long to find the source of the commotion. Snips was yanking on Rainbow Dash's tail, which was technically assault, and both were locked in a heated argument.
"A good cheer squad gets the fans excited, which gets the team excited. But if nopony's excited, then no... pony... buys... any... souvenirs!"
Rainbow Dash swung around. "Ohh," she said. "I understand now. You don't actually give a shit about school spirit. You're only interested in selling your junk."
Snips, shocked, countered. "Point is, if I'm going to make any bits at these games, that squad has to get better. And to do that, they need a coach."
"How about a pony whose actually led a cheer squad in the past?" Rainbow Dash suggested. "And not only that, Twilight's clearly had this planned for some time. I'm going to have a word with her."
As she flew off, Smoulder flew at Snips, whilst Silverstream positioned herself on the other side, to prevent him from leaving.
Yona and Ocellus cracked open the box. "Yona see box full of cheap tat!" Yona replied.
"So, this was your plan the entire time, huh?" Smoulder asked Snips, her arms crossed. "You don't actually care about our performance, or our welfare. You're only interested in making money out of us."
"No! I'm only helping you guys and Equestria as a whole!" Snips countered, his bluster starting to strain. "If you guys do well, ponies will buy my stuff. If ponies buy my stuff, they go to your games. That increases your attendance, and my profits. I, in turn, buy more stuff from the manufacturers, and that keeps good Equestrians in business and with jobs. That's good for all of us!"
Ocellus took one of the items out, a poorly made trophy, and turned it over. "Made in Saddle Arabia." She looked up at Snips, with an emotion that was rarely seen on her face. Anger. "This isn't keeping Equestrians in work. Saddle Arabia is outside the borders, and is undercutting local businesses with lax safety laws and very poor production quality." She turned it over again, pointing out the cracks on the underside of the base. "How do you think selling stuff like this, which falls apart in seconds, will reflect upon the school?"
"Well, err, uhh," Snips stammered, trying to respond.
"You don't have a good reason, do you?" Smoulder said. "You're just using us to make money."
"That's really mean!" Silverstream exclaimed. "How would you feel if we used to make a quick bit?"
Snips seemd to have no response. "I'm only trying to find something to do with all this stuff," he said.
"Burn it?" Smoulder suggested. "That's really all it's good for. Now we need to go find Professor Dash."
"She went that way!" Silverstream called, who took to the skies and flew down one of the corridors, the others quickly following.
"Wait! What about my merchendise? I can't sell it if there's no game!"
Smoulder turned back and looked at him. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."
Once they arrived outside of Headmare Twilight's office, they arrived to hear the tail end of a blazing row.
"Why did you have me pegged for this group?" Dash asked.
"Rainbow Dash, I strongly advise you don't take that tone of voice with me," Twilight replied, sounding annoyed.
"You knew I wouldn't want to do it, and yet you engineered this behind my back and gave me no choice in the matter! Discord did this to you and you didn't like it!"
"You were supposed to appreciate that it doesn't matter whether you care about what you're teaching as long as you care for the ponies who are part of the group."
There was a moment's silence. "You're completely missing the point. I. Have. No. Experience. In. Teaching. Cheerleading. I'm a sports coach and flyer. Besides, who actually watches cheerleading? At all the games I've ever attended, ponies have always gone for a snack at the half time show!"
Twilight had no response.
So Rainbow Dash continued. "I know Celestia liked pulling the 'making you learn a lesson without realising that was her intent' thing all the time, but here's the critical difference between you and me. I'm your friend and colleague, not your student. So I hereby resign from leading the cheer squad."
Moments later, Rainbow Dash flew out of the office, and Ocellus shuffled in, followed by her friends.
Twilight perked up almost immediately. "Hello!" she said. "How can I help you?"
"I can see Rainbow Dash just made her opinion clear," Smoulder noted.
"Indeed she did." Twilight sighed and put her head on her hoof. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I'd like to propose a replacement," Silverstream said, "and politely ask that Snips be prohibited from attending the game."
"That's odd," Twilight said, "as I thought he was keen on leading the cheer squad."
"Snips bad pony!" Yona said. "Snips only keen on cheer squad so he can make money!"
"He has a crate absolutely full of cheap tat to sell," Ocellus continued. "He reasoned that if the cheer squad did well, people would buy it. He intended to profit off our hard work, and we'd see none of it!"
Twilight sighed again. "That is not the sort of thing we want to encourage at the School of Friendship. I'll put a ban on him. Silverstream, who did you want to propose should lead the cheer squad?"
Silverstream smiled. "I know of one pony who would be perfect..."
Cheerilee trotted into the gymn to see the cheer squad fully assembled and in their new uniforms, which were purple jackets with blue lining complemented with a blue skirt with purple lining and trim. "Good morning students!" she called.
"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee!" each of them replied.
"Well, it's certainly fun to be leading a cheer squad again!" the purple mare smiled. "I used to do this when I was in college, and led a cheer squad at the Applewood Derby! While that race was a bit of a mess, the crowd were certainly hyped. Anyway, I've got a full routine to teach you, so loosen up those limbs and let's get started!"
The inaugural game of the buckball league was finally underway, between Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and the School of Friendship, and boy was it fierce competition. The unicorns, despite needing magical assistance to play properly in the form of artificial wings and inhibitor rings, were giving the School of Friendship a real run for their money.
Then came half time, and once the school band had finished their performance as part of the half time show, it was the turn of the cheerleaders.
Gallus poked Sandbar on the shoulder. "Here come the cheerleaders. Fancy getting a snack?"
"They've probably worked really hard on this," Sandbar replied. "I'm staying to show my support. Besides, look at who's in it!"
Gallus' eyes went as wide as dinner plates when he saw them. "SILVERSTREAM?!"
Meanwhile, Cheerilee spoke to the students. "Good luck girls. Do us proud!"
Ocellus prodded Smoulder.
"Yes?"
Ocellus looked worried. "I've forgotten the chant!"
"Then make something up!" Silverstream exclaimed. "I know you can do it, Celly! Just believe in yourself!"
Ocellus nodded uneasily. And then they began.
Silverstream and Smoulder took to the skies, whizzing back and forth dropping confetti and beads through the air, the latter producing a healthy amount of steam and smoke as she did so. Shimmy Shake and Lighthoof flipped back and forth, over bales, into the air and over each other.
"Over and over and over again! We'll cheer for our team 'til the ve- ry end!"
Ocellus took a megaphone, and started saying whatever came to mind.
"Now when it's kickoff time;
all you Earth ponies buck it high!
And then both you pegasi will try to intercept the ball;
But don't forget to pass it so your unicorn can catch it
in the all important basket so your team can win it all!"
The crowd seemed pretty fired up, and watched as Ocellus was clearly on fire at the moment.
"Say Buck!"
"BALL!"
"Buck!"
"BALL!"
"Catch it in the basket so your team can win it all; I said-
Buck!"
"BALL!"
"Buck!"
"BALL!"
"Catch it in the basket so your team can win it all!"
The routine concluded with all of them hopping into a pyramid, Silverstream dropping some fuel substance from a bowl, and Smoulder breathing fire. The fire caught the fuel and ignited it, ending the entire performance with a massive bang.
Although Celestia's school went on to win the game, the students all complemented the cheer squad. Gallus and Sandbar especially seemed to be very impressed, and as a result Smoulder, Yona, Silverstream and Ocellus could only beam with pride.