//------------------------------//
// Chapter 0: Discordant Trials, Dimensional Tragedy 
// Story: Them's Friendin' Herds 
// by NotSoDogNinja 
//------------------------------//

"Okay! Everything's all set up nicely!" In one of the lower rooms of the Castle of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle was trying to analyze a strange piece of hair. The polymerase, the centrifuge, beaker, hair dissolver...

Discord was looking at Twilight with a bored expression. "So, you're telling me, that in order to find out who stole your hayburger, you need to perform an experiment on this 'DNA?' And you need me to, basically, if what this list says is accurate," A pair of glasses and a red trench coat came into existence on Discord's body. "Separate the cells from the cartilage, take the cell's nuclei and remove the stringy stuff from inside and make a tiny ball out of it?"

Twilight smiled. "Yep! That's it! Now, can we please get the deoxyribonucleic acid, Please, Discord?"

Discord rubbed a paw on his chin. "I could... or maybe..."

"Please, Discord!" Twilight restated, becoming flustered as she easily did with him.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I can't keep living this lie."

"WHAT?!"

"It is my solemn duty to inform you that I, Dinkle Scord from ********, have eaten your hayburger."

Twilight stood stock still, mouth agape in shock. Discord started to pack a suitcase. "I am sorry. Please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be ever grateful." Seeing no reaction from the frozen alicorn, Discord finished packing, throwing in his skin, revealing an island style shirt. "Tell Fluttershy I loved her. To an extent. But for now, I must go. Adieu." He then opened up a dimensional rift, jumping in.

Twilight finally snapped out of her stupor. "WHAT?! You can't go!"

Discord popped back out of the portal. "Well, what's keeping me?"

Twilight hesitated for about half a second before responding "Fluttershy."

"You raise a good point..." He snapped his fingers again, causing him to revert back to his "smart outfit."  "Well... I must say, I hate to be rude but-"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Twilight basically screamed.

Discord remained, well, discordant as ever. "Pish, posh, Twilight. No need to be so pushy... Did you have anything to eat lately?" His finger turned into a lightbulb, which he held over his head. "Oh, right, you didn't. I ate it. Well..." Discord snapped his fingers, causing the suitcase and ridiculous outfit to disappear in a flash of light. "Consider this as a peace offering. A nice, shiny... BOOK!" True to his word, Discord held a large volume tauntingly in front of Twilight's face.

She immediately brightened up. *gasp* "I haven't read this one yet!" She took another look at the cover. "The Prophet's Key. Interesting. Oh! It has some spells at the end!" Hunger completely forgotten, the lavender pony headed off to the library to see if Starlight was there. Discord, on the other hand, sat in contemplative silence. "Oh, wait. My bad. The burger's still in its box, right on that table."





Meanwhile...

"Fred. Come take a look at this."

The demon came out of his book, looking at the unicorn that he had made a pact with. "Yes, Olly?"

The dark unicorn was sitting at her desk, several papers in front of her. She rolled her eyes, then looked fondly at the specter. "Yes. It appears that a new bit of information was found. See here." She placed her shiny cloven hoof on top of a large, open book. "This book contains several spells, many of which could prove useful."

The demon stood by, skeptically. "I don't exactly think that this-"

Oleander cut him off. "The author's name is... Starswirled the Bearded. Strange name, that."

"Olly, I-"

"Oh, I can hardly wait. More spells, and one more step closer to finding the Key."

"OLLY."

"Don't call me Olly. Table of contents, hm? Where's the combat related spells?"

"OLEANDER."

The dark unicorn was not expecting the dark entity to call her by her real name. "What?"

Fred held up the book with a large claw like appendage. "This book comes from another dimension. We have no idea what it these spells do, or why this book is here, or how it even got here-"

Oleander cut him off again. "So basically you're saying that this spellbook from this other dimension isn't supposed to be here, and that the spells contained in here can be dangerous?"

Fred somehow nodded. "Yes, that's exactly what I was going to say."

Oleanders eyes glowed white. "Perfect."





Meanwhile...Again...

Twilight had managed to assemble both Starlight and Sunburst in the room with the new book. Sunburst flipped through the pages readily, while Twilight explained what Discord had given them.

"So he just gave you a spellbook?"

Sunburst called from the behind the cover. "Most of it appears to be an autobiography, but there are a few spells in the back... Take a look at this one."

Both purple unicorns took a peek. "Interesting, right, Starlight?!"

Starlight's face showed signs of doubt. "I dunno, Twilight. I've never seen a spell like that before..."

"What's the problem with it?" Twilight courteously asked.

"I've been practicing magic since I was a filly, to er... enslave villages and beat up you. I've never seen a working spell only two words long..."

Spike called out from the next room. "What about that 'fidulus compelus' spell?"

"That's just the title of the spell. It's actually several words long. This spell is ONLY two words. And they're even less sensical than most spells."

Twilight took the book from her. "That's why it's so exciting! If this spell works, than who can tell what other spells it opens up?! Ooh, grody, tahm to get-a cracka-lackin'!"

Sunburst looked at Twilight strangely. "Uh... Before you get, ahem, cracka-lackin'? Is that how you say it?"

"Yep."

"You should know that this book is unlike any others I've read. The story seems like an autobiography, but the events... They don't line up with anything in Equestrian history."

Twilight still remained optimistic. "So, either that means we've uncovered something hidden for years, or this was just something she used as a story?"

"Maybe... Let's see these spells though. We didn't come here for nothing. Might as well try these out... What's the first spell?" Starlight, the speaker, pulled out a little notepad and pencil and started to document everything her friends said.

Sunburst looked in the book again. "Hmmm..."





"Look Olly, I'm not saying you shouldn't do this, just approach it with caution."

"Oh, put a can in it, Fred. I'll be fine. All I have to do is not die, and we'll be fine."

"Whatever you say Ollie."

Oleander propped up the book on a small stand. "Let's see here... first spell in the book... transdimensional travel? Swapping places with another entity? Fred, this looks promising." 

"That doesn't sound... too bad," Fred agreed.

"At the very least sounds useful for getting the predators back in bondage. Let's try it out."

Standing back from her desk in a more open area, Oleander stood in an attacking position.

FTHNG read the spell out. "Alright. You're in position... Well hydrated... Haven't used other strong spells in a while... Okay. Whenever you're ready. It'll take fifteen seconds to charge up completely, but you should be able to teleport there and back, and take that donut with you."

Oleander nodded. She. Was. Ready.





"Not seeing what the spell does..."

Twilight couldn't be stopped. "Doesn't matter! We'll find out!"

Sunburst read the book some more. "Wait, I see something! Something about teleporting to a dimension, then coming back? It seems that you can take things with you, then leave them there. You'll be able to return anytime you want! No drawbacks, or wormholes necessary. The only thing is, you can't bring ghosts there. Oddly specific..."

Proud of herself, Twilight said some final snarky words to Starlight. "See, Starlight? Nothing wrong. Now, all I have to do, according to these instructions is repeat the words, and I'll be able to teleport to the dimension myself one time! Okay... This is so exciting!" 

Starlight wrote that Twilight was sometimes a jerk in her notebook. What a friendship lesson.

"Okay... Have you done any large scale teleportation spells recently? Like, more than fifty feet in the past day or so?"

"Nope!"

"Are you well hydrated?" 

"Yep!"

"Well... Then I guess you're okay to go. Do the spell whenever you want, just be careful in that dimension, okay?"

"Alright! I. Am. Ready!"





"Starting the spell in Three..."





"Two..."





"One!"





"Dimensious Iterus!"





"Dimensious Iterus!"





Donut: "Ooba wooba grooba shmooba?"

Pen: "Frooba Drooba."

Donut: "Correct!"

Wait, wrong camera.





Fifteen seconds passed. Nothing happened. Twilight was confused. "What?! I- I thought that it would work! Why didn't it-"

Sunburst shook his head, smiling a little bit. "See, Twilight? I thought the book looked sketchy. For a book? Heh? Sketchy? Sketchbook? Heh..." Regaining his composure after that awful excuse of a joke, he continued. "Sorry, Twilight, but I don't think the spells were real."

Twilight looked downcast at the mention of this.

Seeing Twilight looking like this prompted Starlight to attempt to comfort the alicorn. "Don't look so down, Twilight! Like, what would you even do in there? Stash some snacks or something? Not even the first time I found a fake spell, thinking it was real. Like remember that time when I tried to turn Spike female using that spell that Garble suggested? Heh, heh?"

At that same moment, Spike waltzed into the room. "Hey guys! How's it- WOAH WHAT THE HOLY HAYSTACKS IS THAT?!" He pointed past Twilight, where a bright light started to form.

Starlight looked in awe and fear at the rapidly growing orb. "What is that?"

Sunburst called from the other side of the room. "I think its the spell!"

The orb started shining brighter, rays of light flying in all directions.

Ducking for cover, Twilight hid under a table. "I didn't think it would look like this! Check the book again!"

Grabbing the book, Spike quickly found the page in question, using his years of knowledge as Twilight's assistant. "Uh... Uh... UH- IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! WERE-"

The orb of light grew to a massive size in a matter of milliseconds, consuming the ponies, dragon, room, castle, and surrounding countryside in itself. And then, quiet. Nothing was left. Everything was leveled down.





...Nothing happened.

"Nothing? Seriously? What a waste of time..." Oleander sadly walked back to the book and closed it, producing a satisfying thud.

"Aw, sorry to hear that it didn't work out Olly." Fred tried to comfort the little unicorn he had grown fond of.

Oleander wasn't listening. She heard a small electrical sound from directly behind her. Turning around, she saw a glowing, snow white orb in the spot she was standing a moment ago.

Thinking quickly, her horn flared up in its usual dark colors, trying to overpower the orb. Only seconds later, the horn light died out as Oleander's magic was the one found overpowered.

The orb expanded quickly, but slow enough for Fred to say "I warned you Olly."

The entirety of Foenum was similarly consumed by light, and condemned to an unknown future.





Discord was watching the entire event transpire on a small television set. 

"Well, this is awkward."

He changed the channel to "My Little Donkey."

"Perhaps I should have let Twilight tell Fluttershy I loved her."