It was all set up. The guards had gathered all the honey in Ponyville at the farm. I don’t remember how much it was, but it was enough to drown a pony in it. We had gathered up all the supplies we needed and said our goodbyes to Spike.
“Bring her back home. It all rests on you now.”, he told us.
“We’ll do our best with what we have. Celestia knows this plan is crazy enough already.”, Sunset told him.
“Just remember, the honey is at the apple farm.”, Spike reminded us.
“Okay. I got that.”, she said.
“Good. Now go. We don’t have time to waste.”, Spike said.
“Wait what?! You mean to tell me I had to repeat that damn spell three times but she doesn’t have to repeat anything? That’s messed up!”, Brim exclaimed.
“Just let it go, Brim. We have a world to save. Not having to repeat ourselves is the least of our concerns.”, I told him.
“Easy for you to say. You haven’t had a single responsibility on this trip yet. Actually, I’m giving you one now. Remind me when we finish the job to never suggest a road trip ever again.”, Brim told me.
“Okay whatever. Can we just-”, I said before Brim interrupted.
“Say it.”
“Brim, we aren’t going to do this right now!”, I said.
“Say it and I’ll let it go.”, Brim said.
“Okay, I will remind you that we aren’t going on a road trip again.”, I said slightly annoyed.
“Now say it one more time.”, Brim said with a smug look.
“Oh my good grief!”, I said, putting my face to my hoof.
Spike looked over at Sunset.
“You have some really dysfunctional friends.”, he said to her.
“But they’re my dysfunctional friends that I love.”, Sunset said.
We finally had gotten our bearings together and finally left for the cemetery near Timber Wood Forest. We were given a map and some food for us to eat as we hid out by the cemetery. Sunset had warned us to be careful along the way about staying on the trail to not attract the wildlife, but well…
Let’s just say it wasn’t my best idea to take a piss on a tree filled with wolves made of wood.
But despite the slight altercation with the wolves, we made it to the cemetery safe and sound. All we needed to do now was wait till the end of the day for a goat to come out for food. Thankfully, this gave us all the time to prepare for the battle to come.
As usual, I began working on my spells for attacking. They were becoming a lot more precise and accurate with each shot. Along with that, I began to hold things with my telekinesis spell longer. I was even able to move objects around and even throw them. Not that it would help me, but it was something neat to come with my spell practice.
Sunset was doing what she says she would normally do before a life or death situation; taking a moment to breathe before slowly meditating. Not that out of the ordinary, but Brim on the other hoof was completely different. He was deep into reading the book to try and figure out how to do all of his spells right before going deep into the Hellfree forest. Maybe it was because I’ve never seen him read anything longer than a pack of cigarettes, but I never would’ve expected Brim to be so fast into reading this book of spells. It worried me that he wasn’t fully learning these spells.
“You gonna slow down there and learn the spells?”, I asked him.
“Oh please, half of these spells are the same way I do them outside of Hell. The only spell that I considered a ‘challenge’ is a spell on how to make a sentient clone of someone else.”, Brim said putting the book down.
“Oh really? Then do the disguise spell.”, I challenged him.
“Alright fine. Hey! Bacon bits!”, Brim said to Sunset who was deep in a meditative state.
“Huh? What’s wrong?”, she said looking like she had come out of a nightmare.
“We need you to see if I’m able to disguise without any suspicions. You mind helping out since you know Rocky the best?”, Brim asked.
“Uh yeah sure.”, she said still recovering from her trance.
“Are you okay Sunset?”, I asked her.
She didn’t respond. Whatever she was seeing in her meditative state seemed to have haunted her. She stood silent before Brim got her attention again.
“Hey Sunshine! You gonna say if I’m doing it right or just stand there?”, Brim said again.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Do your thing Brim.”, Sunset said looking like she had come back to reality for a moment.
“Alright. Here goes nothing.”, Brim said before using his horns to muster up some magic.
A bright orange aura surrounded his body. Soon all we could see of him was the circling aura around him shrinking and changing shape. It started shaping into the shape of another pony. Then after a brief flash, Brim had turned into me. It was right down to the mark on my rear with how accurate he was able to get it.
“Well, how do I look? Do I look like this jagoff who thinks I don’t got this?”, Brim asked her.
“Well, not in the voice, but that is almost spot on.”, Sunset told him.
“Oh right I almost forgot, ahem”, Brim said before speaking in my exagerated voice”, Do I sound like the jew unicorn you love to fuck?”
That managed to get a chuckle out of her at the expense of me being made fun of. But it did snap her out of her anxiety like state. Whatever it was that bothered her was something serious.
“Well I think I got this down knowing I can fool one of you. This mission should be a piece of cake. Hell, we might even be back home before breakfast tomorrow.”, Brim said confidently as he shifted back to his goaty form.
“Let’s not get too cocky. We still need to be careful. Especially with taking on Lucy. Who knows how powerful she is now that she has Twilight.”, Sunset told Brim.
“You’re asking me to not be cocky? It’s like asking a baby not to be such a kickable object. It’s against my nature.”, Brim said.
“Dude.”, I told Brim disapprovingly.
“What? Am I the only one here who gets the uncontrollable urge to punt a baby across a room?”, Brim said, throwing a hoof up.
There was a long and uncomfortable silence between me and Sunset as we looked at each other to confirm what he just said.
“Pussies. Anyways, what are we gonna do for the next few hours while we wait for this goat to come out of the closet?”, Brim said before plotting down onto a tree stump.
We spent the rest of the day talking and pretty much preparing for the inevitable fight we were going to face. Some time after the sun went down, we began to hide out behind the stump Brim had sat on by the side of the large catacombs. Brim had predicted that the goat would come out at any second.
Right as he said that, the catacombs began shaking and beaming red energy on the front of it. A goat with a cart had emerged from the catacombs with a large cart. Some voices spoke from inside the catacombs, but they were inaudible to hear.
“I’ll get your damn melons later. If you fucking ask me again I’ll force you on food duty like you did me.”, the goat said to the voice before the portal closed.
“Ha, looks like you were right bacon. They do come out for food.”, Brim whispered quietly.
“Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get him.”, I said before Brim put a hoff on my chest.
“Not yet.”, Brim said.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t feel like having to search for the food for this jagoff, that's why. We’ll have to wait for him.”, Brim said.
We sat there for a little while longer waiting for him to come back. As we were waiting, I noticed that Sunset had that worrying look again. It wasn’t as bad as before, but the situation seemed to remind her of what she saw in her meditative stance.
“Alright. I think he’s on his way back. I’m gonna go pistol whip this fool and steal his look.”, Brim said before sneaking off behind a tombstone.
“Finally, a moment alone with Sunset.”, I thought to myself as he left.
I figured it would be best without Brim being around to figure out what was bothering Sunset.
“Hey. Is everything okay, Sunset?”, I asked her.
“Yeah, I uh…”, She said before trailing off to look down at the ground.
I put my hoof next to hers to comfort her.
“It’s okay. You can tell me if something is wrong.”, I said, giving her a comforting smile.
She looked up at me.
“Rocky, I saw something that-”, She said before she was interrupted by the sound of a wagon pulling up to the catacombs.
The goat had returned with a cart that was filled with a mountain of food. Everything from carrots to hay was in the mix. I even think there was some garbage thrown into the mix. It looked massive. Definitely enough to feed a whole secret society of goats living underground.
As the goat was about to open the portal, Brim lurked behind him quietly.
“Hey fuck face!”, Brim said to him.
As the goat turned around, Brim hit him on the head with his back hooves to knock him out.
“Out like a ‘has been’ rockstar on coke. The coast is clear guys!”, Brim exclaimed to us.
We came out from behind the stump to meet with Brim and the goat.
“Well he went down. Looks like he might be out for a while.”, Brim said before turning into the goat.
“How can you tell?”, I asked him.
Brim lifted his head up to reveal a large bump on the part of his head where Brim had kicked.
“Last time I checked goats only had two horns, not three, If my magic fails, at least I got two legs that can do some serious damage.”, Brim said, taking the final touches to disguise himself as the goat.
Brim had walked off to go tie him to a tombstone just in case he would wake up before we would be done. I still have no idea how he did that since he never once practiced a telekinesis spell.
I used to date the devil herself. I needed to be good at tying things down if I was ever gonna have a ‘good time in her bedroom’.
Anyways, Brim had managed to sound pretty close to the goat from earlier when he talked to the goat from inside the Hellfree Forest. All we hoped for now was to fool enough goats to get past and get to Lucy.
“Alright. I think it's all set. You two get in the back and hide under the pile of food while I work my Brim charm on these fools.”, Brim told us.
“You remember the spell to get through the barrier, right?”, Sunset asked him.
“Of course I do.”, Brim said confidently.
“Then say it.”
“Oh my Lucy! I am not about to repeat myself for the god damn reader again!”, Brim said slightly annoyed.
“What reader?”, she asked.
“Will you two just get in the back of the damn cart and let me do my thing?!”, Brim said sternly.
We both listened to Brim and hid under the pile of food. We managed to use some hay as a support to hold up a small makeshift ceiling in the cart so it wouldn’t be completely tight in the food. Sunset laid across from me in the pile. We could at least look at each other for a few minutes before the shit would really hit the fan.
“Good grief, here we are. All alone together in a pile of goat food to sneak into an evil forest. Not the road trip I was expecting when-”, I said before Sunset planted me with a deep and passionate kiss.
Something about this kiss let me know that this was connected to what she was trying to tell me earlier. After a little bit, both our lips parted.
“What was that for?”, I asked her.
She took a deep breath before answering.
“I saw something in my meditation. Something that horrifies me about this.”, Sunset said in a serious tone.
“What did you see?”
“I don’t know how to describe it properly, but it felt like some sort of premonition. I saw Lucy killing you and Brim before wiping out all of Ponyville.”, Sunset said with a slight tremble,” And I don’t want it to happen. But I’m worried because it felt so real and…”
I kissed her again as she began to trail off to calm her down.
“It’s gonna be okay, Sunset. We’re not gonna go down without a fight. I promise you we’ll make it home safely.”, I comforted her.
She took my hoof as she looked into my eyes.
“Just don’t try to be a hero in this okay.”, she told me.
“I won’t if I don’t need to.”, I told her.
For a moment we rubbed our foreheads next to each other to get one last solemn moment with each other before we went in. That was of course until….
“Hey Bacon and Rocko, you guys ready for me to go into Hellfree?”, Brim said from outside.
I looked at Sunset to confirm that she was ready. She gave me a nod to let me know she was ready to go into the forest.
“It’s now or never, Brim!”, I told him.
We felt Brim pull the cart towards the front of the catacomb. The cart had rattled to a halt as Brim approached the wall of the catacomb.
“It’s our last chance to turn back if you think it’s too much.”, Brim warned us.
We didn’t answer him to let him know we were ready.
“Alright, time to go all fucking in. Uver Alix!”
A loud thunder shook the place as the stones of the catacombs began to move by themselves. An ominous energy came from the opening. In the opening there stood two goat guards, most likely the ones the goat we knocked out was talking to. They held spears as they stood in front of the large wooden doors to get into the forest.
“About damn time. What took you so long, Sigil? I am starving.”, the goat guard on the left told Brim.
“Oh uh, you know. Shit happens when you go outside in this disgusting world.”, Brim said in Sigil’s voice.
“What?”, the guard on the right asked in a confused voice.
“Oh you don’t know? The food here always gets harder to find with all the damn wildlife hogging it all. Especially those ponies. Now if you’ll excuse me I got food to deliver”, Brim said nervously.
“Hold up a minute. Something isn’t right.”, The guard on the left said before walking next to the cart.
“I’m pretty sure what I collected was right. I picked them all out myself.”, Brim said nervously.
Sunset and I held our breath in silence as the goat walked over to the cart and reached inside for some of the food we were in. His hoof just barely missed my face as he grabbed a piece of corn and pulled it out of the pile.
“You picked out the wrong corn again! I told you to look for the red corn. The yellow ones give me gas!”, the guard said with an aggravated tone.
“Oh that? I told you. Those damn animals keep taking them away and shit. I hate them. If you want I can go back and-”, Brim said before getting interrupted by the left guard.
“Forget it! I’m already starving. I’ll just remember to kick you in the skull the next time you don’t find the red corn. You can go in.”, The guard said.
The guard on the right pulled down on a chain that opened up the wooden doors. They swung open behind them. Brim took the cart and walked right past the guards. Before the gates closed, the guard on the right shouted out something.
“Hope to see you at the orgy later before the raid of Equestria!”, the right guard said.
“Yeah you too!”, Brim said with Sigil's voice before switching back to his own voice quietly,”Suckers”.
At last, we were inside the one place that had eluded Princess Twilight for years: the Hellfree forest. Surprisingly it wasn’t as torturous as I had imagined it, but it still wasn’t a nice place. The forest was a series of broken down brick homes next to trees that looked like they were battered and scratched to oblivion. The air felt really humid. It was almost like the air had no way to evaporate the water because of the dome surrounding the forest that it was a constant pest to breath in.
The forest glowed from a crimson light source in the middle of the town. And that's where it stood; the large monolith of a castle sourcing a bright orange light for all the Hellfree forest. It looked menacing enough to strike upon those who look at it for one second too long with its spiky and war-like appearance.
“There. That’s where Lucy must be keeping Twilight.” Sunset pointed out.
“Well, no shit. It’s the only huge thing in this town and Lucy was kind abig the last time we saw her. No need for intuition on the situation, Sunset.”, Brim said quietly as we walked past a gang of goats that were fighting.
“Let’s just get to the castle so we can check it out.”, Sunset told Brim.
We walked further into the center of town to find the front of the castle being fortified by a large fence with spikes on it. Right behind it was a large stage. From the looks of it, something was about to happen in the Hellfree forest.
Right as we walked up, a large gong rang across the forest. The whole town gathered near the stage in a mob-like nature.
“What’s going on?”, I asked Brim.
“I don’t know.”, he said.
Suddenly, the familiar red boom of energy struck the stage as a yellow portal opened up. From it, Lucynious emerged to take the stage. She wore a crimson crown on her head with all of the elements of harmony. The crowd of goats cheered as she stood before them
“It’s her!”, Sunset said from the cart.
“Shut up! The reader read it the first time.”, Brim told her quietly.
“Hellfree! Hear me!”, Lucy announced before receiving a standing ovation from the crowd.
They were rowdy to an almost war-like style. Lucynious lifted a hoof to quiet them down.
“For years, we’ve been left in the shadows by the very creatures who claim to be for acceptance. Who claim to be the ones to promote inclusion and order. Little did they realize that they were becoming the hypocrites that all of Hellfree recognizes and despises.”, Lucynious exclaimed to the crowd.
“Heh, that rhymed.”, Brim said before I kicked him,” Ow! It’s just a rhyme asshole!”
“That all changes tomorrow. When we lead the attack onto Ponyville. With the magic I have gathered from their ‘elements of harmony’ and their weak Princess Twilight Sparkle, we will be unstoppable!”, She announced to make the crowd cheer once again.
“It all starts with Ponyville. If they haven’t turned tail and run, they will learn what it feels like to be left in the dark, permanently. They will be the example we set for all of Equestria to bow before us!”, She proclaimed.
“Oh my god.”, Sunset said with a horrified tone.
“It’ll be okay, Sunset. We’re going to end this together.”, I comforted her.
“That all happens at dawn, but tonight we celebrate! Let this home shake as we prepare for a new dawn for all Hellfree kind. We shall reign supreme!”, Lucy announced before using her newfound magic to fire off a firework.
The crowd of goats went berserk as large speakers appeared from the front of the stage blasting heavy metal music. Lucy had disappeared through her portal as the celebration began in the center of the Hellfree forest. Goats were drinking, dancing, some even fighting. They were ready to take on the world.
“Go! While the whole town is distracted!”, Sunset told Brim from inside the cart.
Brim had pulled us into a side alleyway where we could dump the cart and make up a plan. Brim still in disguise, used his spell to show his real face when we got out of the cart.
“Well, look on the brightside. We got a timeframe of when they will attack, so we can know when we need to hurry the fuck up.”, Brim said optimistically.
“We need to get into that castle.”, Sunset told us.
“But then what? We have no clue where Princess Twilight is.”, I told her.
“I can use my magic to sense her presence. But that won’t help us get her out.”, She explained.
“What do you mean? I have my goat magic. I could break her out of there like a pinata.”, Brim suggested.
“Not without the Elements of Harmony. Without it, she is stuck as a statue. You and Rocky need to figure out a way to get that crown from her.”, Sunset told him.
“Great, looks like we’re going to have to split up. Who could’ve predicted that?”, Brim said sarcastically.
“But how are we going to get in?”, I asked.
“I have an idea for that. But, it's gonna require impeccable timing.”, Brim said before walking down the alley to the castle wall.
Right as we saw the weak spot in the wall he was alluding to, a firework went off from the center of town.
“I’m gonna blast a hole in this wall. If you sync up the timing right, the explosion can be masked by the sound of the fireworks. Just like in the video games that nobody cares about.”, Brim said, taking a stance.
“Alright, I’ll let you know when to fire.”, I told him as I looked in the direction of the fireworks.
The timing couldn’t be too early or too late. Thankfully, the one thing I remembered from high school was that light travels faster than sound. All I needed to do was tell him to fire as soon as the lights went off. Sounds easy right?
“Hold it.”, I told Brim as a rocket launched in the air.
It soared up high, leaving a trail of sparks behind it. Then suddenly, it stopped. This was the moment. Right as it exploded…
“Now!”, I yelled out to Brim.
Right on cue, Brim launched a beam of energy that penetrated the wall with such violence. It was perfectly masked by the firework explosion. We were in. Now came the fun part.
“Alright, I’m going to look for Twilight. You two search around for Lucy and try to find a way to get the Elements of Harmony off of her. I’ll use a portal to message you when I find Twilight.”, Sunset told us.
“Alright. Be careful!”, I told her.
“Same to you both. Now go!”, Sunset said, taking off in the opposite direction.
Without haste, Brim and I ran inside the castle. While a lot of the goats were in the middle of the forest partying, we still weren’t safe. There were still guards patrolling around every corner. They held spears like the guards we encountered before, but now they had a fire tip to them.
Brim and I were pinned up against a wall waiting for a guard to pass.
“So, you got a plan?”, I asked Brim quietly.
“You’re asking me whether I have a plan for a life threatening adventure?”, he asked me.
“You know Hell better than anyone. Where would Lucy keep a precious item like that?”, I asked him.
“Well, if it is a piece of jewelry, which the Elements of Harmony are, it would most likely be by her bed. If I know her giant castle of a home she has….”, Brim said before pondering and pointing in a direction near some stairs,” It’s gonna be up those stairs and to the right”.
“Are you sure?”, I asked him.
“No, it’s only a feeling.”, Brim said sarcastically,” Yes I’m sure it’s up the stairs. I lived with the bitch for a couple hundred years”.
I looked over to see a large amount of guards by the stairs.
“It’s too risky. We’ll have to find another way up stairs to not alert the guards.”, I told him.
“Not to worry, I got a plan for that.”, Brim said before pulling out the Capra Vesta,” I just hope this spell works”.
Using his magic, Brim had conjured up a blue beam that formed a clone goat in front of us. Brim had put some touches to it to make it look more feminine and lewd. Once he was done, he stamped his hoof and took control of it with his magic.
“Boom! I just conjured up a fake goat from thin air. And now I’m about to use my feminine to clear us a path.”, Brim said with a smug look on his face.
“Oh good grief.”, I said to myself.
The decoy walked around the corner to stop at the middle of the corridor. It began posing sexily.
“Hey kitties.”, it said in a sensual voice.
All the guards noticed and took attack formation down the stairs to confront Brim’s decoy.
“What are you doing here? This is not an area for you.”, the tall guard said, pointing his spear at the decoy.
“Mmmmm, that's not important, baby. What is important is that its the night before our rebirth and I feel like having some real, naughty fun.”, the decoy said before winking at the guards.
“Well uh, y-y-you still can’t be here. If Lucynious finds out about this-”, the tall guard said with a stumbled voice before the decoy interrupted him.
“What’s the matter? You chicken to have a little fun with a bad, bad doe.”, the decoy said real sensually.
“U-Uh no! In fact, guards! Stand down. She isn’t a threat to us.”, the tall guard ordered.
They all stood down. Some of them even had the same look of dumbfoundedness the tall guard had for this decoy’s looks. Whatever Brim was doing, it was working surprisingly well.
“That’s more like it, baby. What do you say we take this someplace a little more private for you, me and your friends here to have a little fun? Perhaps that past cellar door right there.”, the decoy proposed, pointing to the large, stone door.
“Yes, but that’s-”, the tall guard said before the decoy grabbed him down south and made him moan before continuing”,- the dark dungeon where we keep the prisoners”.
“Perfect. They can watch us. Unless of course, you’re chicken.”, the decoy doe said before letting the guard go.
“Of course not! I’ll lead the way.”, the tall guard responded by leading him and his men to the door.
“Almost there aaaand...boom!”, Brim said quietly from behind the wall as his magic stopped.
“Oh I love me a billy who can lead. We’re gonna have so much fun.”, the decoy doe said, as she began following the guards down.
As the door closed shut, Brim and I rushed out from behind the wall to make it to the stairs.
“Holy shit! That was amazing!”, I excitedly said to Brim.
“I know! I didn’t expect that to work.”, Brim said as he followed behind me after locking the door.
“What’s going to happen now?”, I asked him.
“I managed to keep that decoy moving on its own until it finishes off the rest of those guards. When it’s done, it will completely vanish like it was never there. But thankfully that door locks from the outside, so they won’t be getting out anytime soon.”, Brim explained to me.
“Perfect. That gives us plenty of time to look for Lucy and get the Elements of Harmony off of her.”, I said looking back at Brim.
“That’s the idea.”, he said.
“With all these guards out of the way, nothing can stop us no-”, I said before I ran straight into someone.
I fell back to have Brim catch me. By the time I got my bearings, I got a full glimpse of who I just ran into. It was a goat very similar to Brim. In fact, it was Lord Brimstone. The only difference between Lord Brimstone and regular Brim was Lord Brimstone had black metallic rings around his horns.
He stood over us with an evil look that told us that we had made a huge mistake.
“Oh, son of a bitch!”, Brim said as he caught me from behind.