The End.
My editor once said that only bad stories start with ‘once upon a time’ and end with ‘the end.’ I took that advice to heart when I started writing, but now the irony has caught up with me. Because I can’t think of a better way to sum this up than ‘the end.’
“So this is it, huh?” The words slip out of her mouth faster than the streaming waters of the Amarezon River, but with the intensity of a poison dart flying through the air.
I stifle a grunt and roll my eyes again. “Reckon so,” I say, ripping out another piece of tape and slapping it to the side of the box. Satisfied that it won’t fall apart in transit, I take a step back and sweep the room with my eyes.
Dozens of other brown boxes stare back at me. The paper-thin walls are peeling now, unveiling the hideous wallpaper that’s hidden underneath it all these years. A cool breeze flows in through the window, and it would have bellowed through my curtains if they were still up.
Sorry, Word Smith, but this really is ‘the end.’ The end of many things, now that I think about it. The end of my career, the end of my livelihood… the end of Daring Do.
“What’s on your mind, kid?” I finally ask, turning around.
Rainbow Dash is hoovering in what used to be my living room, her eyes darting around like she can’t quite process what she’s seeing. I suck in a breath and fake a smile at her. “Hey, chin up, kid.”
“But you’re quitting!” she blurts out. “The greatest adventurer in Equestria is quitting!”
I shrug, kicking one of the boxes at my hooves. “Dash, we’ve been over this. I don’t have much of a choice anymore.”
“But… But who’s going to stop Dr. Caballeron? And who’s going to save Equestria from the clutches of Ahuizotl?! And who’s--”
I hold up my hoof, cutting her off. “Rainbow. There are ponies who can take care of that stuff now.” The sentence leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, even as I try to put on a brave face. “Besides, it was about time anyways. I don’t think my body can take much more of this lifestyle.”
“So you’re quitting? Daring Do is going to spend the rest of her life shackled to a desk?” Rainbow points an accusing hoof at me. “That is not the Daring Do that I know!”
“Well, that Daring Do is dead,” I snap at her. “She’s been dead ever since Celestia went out and founded her anti-smuggling task force and basically made it illegal for me to do what I do for a living! Those stupid government flunkies murdered Daring Do in cold blood, danced with her coffin, and spat on her grave.”
I kick the box at my hooves, and pain shoots up my leg. “Gah! Stupid typewriter,” I curse. I’m tempted to pick it up and slam it against the wall.
“Daring--”
“Yes, fine, I’m giving up, Rainbow! It’s over for Daring Do,” I spit out. “From now on there’s only A.K. Yearling, Department of Commerce. I’m a quitter. Does that make you happy?”
An eerie silence falls over the house, far worse than the dead silence of a cave deep below the surface. I bend over and poke at the box, wondering if the typewriter’s still in one piece. A few years ago I valued this thing greater than I did my own life. But it isn’t worth anything now. There isn’t a single story I could ever write that could give Daring Do a happy ending.
It’s funny, really. Daring Do’s lived through every threat in Equestria. She’s broken bones and had concussions, she’s tough as nails and stronger than steel. And Celestia just killed her like you’d kill a housefly.
“Hey.” Her voice is softer this time. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how hard this must be on your end.” Rainbow’s eyes fall to the ground and she shuffles on the spot where my rug used to be. “I shouldn’t have called you a quitter.”
“It’s alright,” I mutter, trying to shake the pain out of my leg. I look around the shell of my house again, at all the barren walls and boxes. It reminds me of a blank canvas, waiting to be painted on. “Never spent much time here,” I say aloud, “but I’m going to miss it here.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow sighs, her ears drooping a little bit. “I just… I can’t believe it’s really over for you.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Me neither. I never thought that this would be how Daring Do dies. By the evil hoof of bureaucracy.”
That gets a dry chuckle out of her. “Well, who knows?” she asks. “Maybe Daring Do will fly again someday.”
I stare out my window, at the distant trees and flowers, and at the world I used to take for granted. For a long time, I thought that I was invincible. Because I’d climbed the mountain, proved everyone who doubted me wrong, and got my dream. I thought there was nothing in the world that could stop me. So I guess I got comfortable. I got cocky. I didn’t realize that you can only live life on the edge for so long before you get cut.
Daring Do is dead, but her job sure isn’t complete. There’s still a lot to learn and a lot to discover out there. And I know for a fact that there’s still millions of treasures and artifacts waiting to be found. But for the first time in my life, Daring Do won’t be the one to find them.
That’s probably what stings the most.