//------------------------------// // I'm Not Okay at the O.K. Corral (I Promise) // Story: The Alley Outside of 7/11: An Anthology // by The Red Parade //------------------------------// “Do you like it out here?” I blink at the question. “What?” “I mean, you’re not from here, are you?” Caramel sighs, drawing a circle in the sand with a hoof. “You’re from Ponyville, right?” “Yeah.” “How were things over there?” I shift on my hooves. “Well… it’s a shitty little town, I guess.” He laughs at that. “I’ve heard the stories. So what do you think of life out here?” I raise an eyebrow. “It’s… fine, I guess.” Caramel gestures to the sands around us. “Really? What do you think of all this?” I look around us. Besides his car, there’s literally nothing around us. Just a few cacti and tumbleweeds blowing by in the distance. Appleoosa’s the closest town, and even then it’s miles away. Nopony there’s going to hear gunfire from out here. “Pretty, I guess.” I don’t know what the fuck he wants me to say. I’ve never been the type of mare to enjoy nature. Caramel smiles. “Come on, Raindrops. Be honest.” “Killjoy,” I reply. “My name is Killjoy.” His smile falters, as if he remembers now why we’re out here. “Right. Sorry.” He sighs, wiping his forehead with the back of his hoof.  Caramel’s never been the luckiest pony in Equestria. I haven’t known him for that long, but he's gotten into more scuffles than I have, and for my line of work that’s really saying something. My eyes fall to the sand that’s swirling around my hooves. “So… how’s Sasssaflash?” He shrugs. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked since the breakup.” I wince. “Oh, fuck. I forgot about that.” He waves his hoof dismissively. “It’s fine.” We fall silent after that. There really isn’t that much we can talk about. “So, uh… fuck. You know I have to do this, right?” I finally ask him. He nods. “Yeah. Don’t blame you. We all gotta do what we gotta do.” He goes over to his car and opens the passenger’s side door. A black briefcase is sitting on the seat, its golden clasps gleaming in the desert sun.  “How many bits are in there anyways?” I ask. He shrugs. “Dunno. Never opened it.” Caramel smiles again. “It’s funny. I thought I was finally catching a lucky break, you know? Should have known better.” I shrug, reaching for a cigarette and my lighter. “Well, the Vultures are pretty fuckin’ stingy with their money.” “I know, but I didn’t think they’d contract the fucking Dusk Watch to come after me.” His eyes fall to the sand again. A wind blows through the vest he’s wearing.  I take a drag of my cigarette, touching the brim of my hat with my hoof. “Well… at least I found you before they did.” Caramel sighs. “Maybe. I mean, it’s the same outcome anyways… for all I know they already got Sassaflash. Those fuckers are going to kill everyone I know just to find me.” “You really think that doing this is going to stop that?” He shrugs. “I dunno. But… it’s better than the alternative, I guess.” I take another drag of my cigarette, weighing the options in my head. I’ve taken hundreds of contracts in my life, some of them legal and some of them not. I’ve fired more bullets than I can count, and I’ve taken more lives than I’d like to admit. But… fuck, that doesn’t make this shit any easier. Sometimes I wish I listened to mom and picked a different job. Caramel kicks at the sand again. “So… how do you want to do this?” “I don’t know if I can fucking do this,” I mutter.  “You have to,” Caramel insists. “Please. You know I wouldn’t ask you if I had any other option. But Twitch won’t do it. The cops aren’t going to help.” I frown. “That still doesn’t make this shit any fucking easier, Caramel!” I stomp a hoof in frustration.  He doesn’t say anything, and for a second the only sound is the wind. “Killjoy,” he says softly. “You’re the only one that knows about Toffee. I… I need to keep her safe. If I go to anyone else, they’ll find her.” “So this is your fucking solution?” I shoot back. “Yes. Are you going to do it, or not?” He gestures at the briefcase of bits in his car. “Because that’s not going away any time soon.” I sigh, sticking my cigarette back in my mouth. “Just… fuck. I don’t know if I am.” Caramel sighs. “Then there’s one way I can make this easy for you.” He reaches under his vest. He never stood a chance. There’s no way in hell he can outdraw me. And the kicker here is that he fucking knows it. Before he even brings the gun out, mine’s already drawn and aimed. He locks eyes with me and gives me that sad fucking smile that he’s always had. Double tap to the chest. Just like they taught me. He falls to the ground and the gun falls out of his hooves. The gunshots rip through the desert but years of experience mutes them. I go over to him, watching as he gasps in pain. Two red holes are in his vest now, and a pool of blood stains the sands under him. But he smiles. He fucking smiles. “Thank you,” he whispers. I don’t answer. Instead I raise my revolver and aim it at his head. He doesn’t need to suffer. He’s suffered enough already.  I don’t even remember pulling the trigger. I blink, staring down at his lifeless corpse. Holstering my pistol, I take a step back and sigh. I throw my cigarette down into the sand and dust it off. The sun’s still high in the sky, beating me down with its heat and judgement. Sometimes, I fucking hate this job. I turn back to his car. The briefcase of bits is still staring back at me. With a sigh, I pop the trunk to the car. He was thoughtful enough to bring a shovel. I shrug off my jacket and toss it inside, hazarding one last glance at his body. I feel like I should say something to him, even if there’s no way that he could possibly hear me. I don’t fucking know. It just feels like the right thing to do. But then again, who the fuck am I to talk about doing the right thing? So I say nothing and turn away from him. I start digging.