“There is not a more tragic love than one that is star-crossed. Two lovers who cannot be together; not through lack of love, but because time itself has deemed it wrong. How cruel is fate? To tie souls together, only to rip them apart, leaving them reaching; grabbing; searching—”
Sunset Shimmer scoffed, flipping onto the next page in the book she’d borrowed from the library shelf. “What happened this time? Did you meet some cute guy at the vending machine and couldn’t get his number because he was walking away before you had the chance to ask?”
Moondancer’s face fell into a dead panned stare before she rolled her eyes. Sunburst and Starlight shared a look, giggling to themselves as they each sat beside their respective red-head. Although it was true that the four usually found themselves tangled up in the vines and fairy lights of The Forest, the campus library was fast becoming a secondary hang-out spot for the group. Third, if they counted the Dancer-Shimmer dorm; and they did, but that was mostly for Friday game nights. Despite loving the calming ambience that the clattering cups and hissing of the cafe’s milk steamer brought with them, the relaxing coffee-scented atmosphere was rapidly being overtaken by thirsty students, who were desperate to try the cafe’s seasonal pumpkin spiced lattes.
And so, Sunset and Starlight took up position on the bean-bag chairs that were available in the library’s open-discussion section of the second floor, with Moondancer and Sunburst sitting only a ways away at the nearest desk, to look over their selected novels for that week’s class. Starlight had allowed the other girl to rest her head across her lap as she read quietly, and Sunset had let Starlight play with her hair in return.
“I was reading aloud,” Moondancer pencilled something into her notebook and let out a sigh.
“Ugh, please not Shakespeare again.” Sunburst’s face twisted as he pulled his coffee away from his mouth to shake his head. “I was tired of this conversation the first hundred times, I’m tired of it now.”
Moondancer raised her brows and swivelled on her chair, tapping the length of her pencil against the side of her finger. She pressed her tongue against her cheek and brought it across her teeth before giving a shake of her head and a little hum. The Moondancer hum, to be exact; the sound she made before she came down on you with her massive intellect Sunset would have air-quoted.
“I’m letting your wrong opinion slide today since I’m in a good mood, but if you bad-mouth my soulmate one more time it will be curtains for you Sunburst.”
Sunburst raised his hands in defeat, ever-so-slightly edging his chair away from the red-head. “Yes, Miss Hathoway.”
“Why’re you in a good mood?” Starlight looked up from her fingers, buried in Sunset’s hair, to tilt her head at the other girl.
Moondancer’s face split in a grin that caused her eyes to crinkle. “Glad you asked, Glimmer.” She waggled her finger at Sunburst, then brought it around to point towards the two teens on the beanbags. “We are going to a party.”
Sunset pulled her book down to narrow her eyes at her sister. “It’s Tuesday.”
“Not tonight, smartass.” Moondancer clicked her tongue. “There’s a Halloween party at the end of the month and I got us all invites.”
It was Starlight’s turn to squint at the other girl. “Invites? What kind of party is this?”
“Oh, sweet little Glim Glam. This isn’t just any party. This is a Fizzlepop Berrytwist party.”
Sunset slowly pulled herself to sit up and blinked, incredulously, mouth falling open as she tried to come to terms with... whatever her sister had just said. “I’m sorry… say that again?”
Sunburst’s eyes twinkled as he bit his lip to stop himself from squeeing— something he wasn’t entirely successful at, as he fanned himself in an attempt to calm down. “You’re kidding! The Big Fizz is having a Halloween party and we’re invited? How the hell did you manage that?!”
Moondancer pretended to inspect her nails, “Networking. I was scouting out potential partners for that team-up project we have to do with the theatre classes next semester. I bumped into her and we got to talking, she said I seemed pretty cool and that she’d love it if we came.”
“Moondancer…” Sunburst held a hand over his heart and set his other on the girl’s shoulder, “I owe you my life.”
“Oh, I know,” she smirked, “remember that.”
Sunset and Starlight looked between themselves wordlessly before Sunset cleared her throat and piped up. “That’s really cool and all, glad you’re making new friends but- uh- who the hell is Fizzletwist Berrysnap-”
“Fizzlepop Berrytwist is a senior in the theatre program and only, like, the most popular and well respected student at this school.”
“I mean, I doubt that,” Starlight scoffed and twirled the hair beside her face, “if that’s true then how come I’ve never heard of her?”
Moondancer and Sunburst sucked a breath between their teeth and glanced at each other, as if deliberating which of them should be the one to break the news. Sunburst stepped up to the plate, pulling himself against the desk to bring himself closer to her. “Glim, sweetie… how do I say this nicely… You’re kind of a loser.”
Sunset’s jaw dropped as her girlfriend let out an indignant gasp, furrowed brows snarling at the boy. “Wh- no I’m not!”
Sunburst hummed and puckered his mouth to the side. “Starlight, I love you, but you’ve only made two new friends this year; and that includes your new girlfriend,” he spared a glance towards Sunset and gave a shrug. “And the only reason you met either of them was because I finally managed to convince you to finally come to a party, instead of being holed up in your room— charting star maps, or, whatever it is you do in there all day.”
Starlight stumbled over herself, flustered and red, looking between the two other girls before finally narrowing her brows at her best friend. “Th-that’s because I’m fine with my own company! I don’t-” she scoffed and pushed her bangs aside, finding anything to fidget with before she awkwardly settled on crossing and uncrossing her arms. “I don’t need to have a million friends or- or go to a party every weekend. That doesn’t make me a loser.”
Sunset pursed her lips and dropped her eyes when she felt Moondancer look her way, all too familiar with the conversation that was currently transpiring. All too agitated, all the same.
“Well, sure. But would it kill you to try and socialise more? Have you even hung out with your roommate yet?”
“I-” Starlight paused, mouth hanging open before she brought her lips together to swallow heavily. “Well, she’s always busy with her other friends. I don’t want to intrude.”
Sunburst sighed and leaned back against his chair, defeated. “You live with her, Glim. How much more intrusive do you need to be?”
Starlight shrunk a bit under Sunburst’s raised brow. “I-... I just don’t want to seem rude,” she mumbled, “I can’t just invite myself along to their plans.”
Sunburst turned to Moondancer and motioned with his hands before dropping them into his lap with another heavy sigh. “I rest my case.”
If it weren’t for the fact they were still in a library, or that Sunset didn’t want to make Starlight feel any worse, she would have chewed the other boy out. Gave him a piece of her mind. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave Starlight’s hand a squeeze and searched for her eyes, to let her know it was okay. However, the little half-smile and nod that Starlight gave her didn’t stop Sunset from grinding her teeth at the way Moondancer rolled her eyes in Sunset's direction, and laughed along with all the things Sunburst was saying. No, instead, Sunset held Starlight’s hand tighter, tucked her borrowed book back into its place, and tugged on her satchel.
“Where are you going?” Moondancer faltered, shifting her eyes between Sunburst and her sister.
Sunset hummed and paused in her stride only to offer a bitter narrowing of eyes towards the corner of the room before they settled on the other two teens. “What? You think we’re just going to sit here while you bad-mouth us because we’re not a pair of ‘wild party animals’ like you two?” Sunset said in a mocking tone before scoffing and shaking her head, “call us when you’re done acting like a pair of stuck-up jackasses. C’mon, Starlight.”
The other two teens looked at each other guiltily before meeting Starlight’s gaze, which she then quickly dropped to the floor, in favour of keeping up stride with Sunset as the shorter girl led the way towards the library exit.
Although the open areas of the library allowed for more ruly chatter and gossip, the air hung silent as Sunset and Starlight made their leave, occupied only by the awkward way Sunburst and Moondancer’s chairs squeaked as they turned back to the desk in front of them. Likewise, Sunset kept quiet as she pushed open the door that led them into the stairwell, and gave another silent squeeze of Starlight’s hand.
“Thank you…” Starlight spoke quietly.
Sunset looked back at her and shook her head with a shrug, doing her best to curb her temper. “It’s okay. He had no right talking to you like that.”
“But, still… Thank you for sticking up for me.”
Sunset smiled as she felt Starlight interlink their fingers. “You’re welcome.”
It had been a couple of weeks since the two had started dating. 3 weeks and 2 days, to be exact, but Sunset wasn’t counting or anything like that. She was just good with dates. Some dates better than others, she resigned. Still, getting to hold Starlight’s hand was something she felt she wouldn’t ever get used to. Or getting to kiss Starlight whenever she wanted. Or how the other girl would comfortably curl up in her lap whenever she came over to watch a movie. Or-
“So, where should we go now?” Starlight asked, flexing the muscles in her jaw and neck rather than tensing up her shoulders. “Forest’s swamped- and no, that wasn’t a pun,” she smirked knowingly at the way Sunset’s hand twitched in her own, “plus we kind of just Cinderella’d the library.”
Sunset hummed and traced over her lips with her finger and thumb. She was trying to break the habit of biting at the skin of her mouth and cheeks. She had a girlfriend now! She couldn’t have chapped lips. “Is it too late to head into town? Didn’t you say there was a new smoothie bar opening up?”
“I did,” the taller girl nodded and hooked her arm around Sunset’s, snuggling closer to keep warm. “But you know, we could just head back to your dorm.”
Sunset scoffed, her cheeks blooming a pretty pink hue. “Yeah, sure, and we can watch another movie,” she chuckled with a shake of her head. “I mean, it sucks to admit that they might be at least kind of right, but… Aren’t you getting bored of doing the same old things?”
“Mmmh, well,” Starlight looked to the sky thoughtfully and puckered her mouth to the side before she leaned in to whisper into Sunset’s ear. “We could just make out in your room? That would be pretty fun.”
Sunset flinched her ear away as tingles spread across her skin, over her shoulders, lighting her face with new heat. “U-uh-” she stuttered, clamming up a bit once Starlight began to giggle. “I mean, I-I guess that’s an option-”
Starlight pulled away— but still held onto Sunset’s hand— to balance along the curb as they came up to the campus green. She offered her flustered girlfriend a reassuring smile, “It’s alright. We can stop at the student bar for something to drink if you want instead?”
“Isn’t it a bit early?”
Once again, Starlight snorted, and hopped down beside Sunset again to give her a peck on the cheek. “They serve coffee and soda too, Sunset.”
“Oh!” She rubbed the back of her head, dropping her eyes and allowing Starlight to guide her inside, “right… I knew that.”
The building itself was warm. Warmer than Sunset had first anticipated, and it only worked to highlight just how bitter it had become outside. She and Starlight let go of each other to tug off their coats and slung them over their forearms. Sunset lingered behind just a tad, taking in the decorative interior, before she followed Starlight up the stairs and into the bar itself. Sets of couches lined up against the left wall, with raised stools tucked neatly under the far-end countertops, that stretched the entire length of the room. The walls were littered with promotions: upcoming events, society and club meetings, even special lunch deals that Sunset raised a brow at. She really should spend more time outside of her dorm, that much was becoming more and more apparent the more time she spent with Starlight.
Sunset watched as her girlfriend approached the bar, and smiled at the way Starlight’s face lit up as she ordered for them both. It was small and insignificant, sure, but the other girl just… glowed. She did to Sunset, at least.
“Here you go,” Starlight turned to her with a glass of lemonade. “Try not to spill it this time.”
Sunset pouted and followed Starlight over to a couples booth, where she sat across from her, mumbling and whimpering at the way her feet dangled from the edge of the stool. “This isn’t fair. I’m not that short.”
Starlight held her cheek in her palm and pulled the straw from her drink to draw it across her lips, before she set it on the table with a hum. “I still think you’re cute, even if you are short.”
The red-head narrowed her eyes.
“So. That halloween party,” Starlight sighed and hooked her ankles under the table, lifting her glass to her mouth to take a sip, “do you want to go?”
“Mh… not really. I mean, I won’t know anyone there and it’s just going to be loud and obnoxious. Plus,” Sunset swirled her own drink around with her straw and flexed her brows, “if this Fizzle… whatever the hell, is as popular as Moondancer and Sunburst are making her out to be, what’re the chances it's just going to be a bunch of self-righteous assholes going. I don’t really want to be reminded of all the reasons I hated high school.”
Starlight watched Sunset take a hearty gulp of her lemonade and sighed as the other girl kept her eyes low. “You don’t really talk about high school all that often. Is it a sore-spot?”
Sunset paused and adjusted herself in her seat, sliding herself forward to rest her feet against the bar that connected both legs. “It wasn't bad, but it wasn’t… you know, like…”
“Good?” Starlight raised a brow.
“Magical, I guess. Like, you know how movies always paint high school as ‘the best years of your life, you’ll miss it once it’s gone!’,” she swayed dramatically before rolling her eyes and swirling the ice in her glass, “I didn’t really feel all that sad when it came to graduation. Like, sure I was going to miss having fun and messing around with Moondancer, but most of the time I was alone.” She drew her lips into a line. “Maybe that was my fault. I didn’t really try to make friends. I was just so focused on studying and getting the highest grade that it didn’t really matter at the time…”
Starlight reached out and set her hand atop Sunset’s with a small smile. “But now that it’s over, you can’t help but regret how you spent that time… is that it?”
“Mh,” Sunset nodded, “yeah.”
The taller girl pulled away to stretch out over the back of her seat, widening her shoulders until the tension popped, and she let her elbows lean against the table again. “I get it. I mean, kinda,” she played with a lock of hair by the side of her face and took another long drink of her lemonade.
“Mh? And what were you like in high school, Ms Glimmer?” Sunset raised a teasing brow, grinning once she’d pulled her own straw from her glass.
Starlight blew out a breath and gave an awkward laugh. “I… was kinda weird.”
“And you aren’t now?” Sunset snorted. Starlight swatted her on the arm.
“Hey!” She chuckled, “No. What I mean was we— my friends and I— we were like… literally known as the weird kids at my school.”
“What? That’s kinda mean,” Sunset grinned.
“Yeah, but they were right. We hung out under the bleachers, a few of us smoked—”
“Did you ever smoke?” Sunset eyed her, absolutely fascinated.
Starlight paused and puckered her lips, savouring her girlfriend’s twinkling eyes as she prolonged her admission by taking another generous drink of lemonade, finally finishing off her glass. “I did. Once. I coughed up my lungs though. Almost vomited,” she waved her hand with a scowl, “would not recommend it.”
Sunset made a small gasp noise and covered her mouth with her hand. “So you were a bad-girl?”
Starlight snorted and buried her face into her hands with a long groan. “Pleeeeease shut up. We were just like- we were weirdos, okay! I said that already,” she laughed along with Sunset as the red-head giggled and finished her own glass of soda. “What about you? What were you like?”
“Mh, well… I wasn’t like- a stereotypical nerd, if that’s what you mean.”
“Aw, no pens in your shirt pocket?”
“Har har,” Sunset rolled her eyes. “No. I used to have longer hair, too.” Starlight’s eyes opened a tad as an intrigued smile tugged at her lips. “Uhhh,” Sunset’s fingers splayed against the table before she resolved to draw with the condensation that had dripped from their glasses. “I used to collect sticky notes. I used to leave myself little reminders everywhere; the bathroom mirror, my door, the ceiling— but that often resulted in me waking up covered in paper, so,” she chuckled.
“That’s adorable,” Starlight tried to fight off her grin. She shook her head and flattened her hands out against her skirt, “So. Bigger question. When did you realise you were gay?”
Sunset blew out a breath and then sucked in another through her teeth. “Uhh…” she half-laughed, “When you smiled at me in class at the start of the semester, I think?”
The taller girl swatted her in the arm with a laugh, and only calmed down once she noticed the way Sunset was beginning to fidget. “W-wait… You’re not serious, are you?”
“Haha…” Sunset rubbed at the back of her neck sheepishly, shifting her eyes from Starlight’s face to her stick-figure drawing of the girl on the table. “Funny…”
Starlight fixed her jaw and swallowed before puckering her lips. “Wait, so… you really didn’t know?”
“Uhm, I think maybe I did. I-I mean,” she fidgeted with her fingers a bit, starting to pick at the skin before she clenched them against her palms under the table. “It wasn’t something I ever really thought about. Plus- Moondancer came out as pan when we were sophomores, and her— our— parents were really cool with it, so I knew that if I was gay, I wouldn’t have anything to worry about, so-”
“That’s so-”
“-lame, I know-”
“So you,” Starlight laughed. She wiped a tear from her eye and played with her glass between her palms, “I honestly don’t know why I was expecting anything different. I guess I just wasn’t expecting me to be your gay awakening,” she teased.
Sunset rolled her eyes and gave a lopsided smirk. “Yeah, well, whatever. When did you realise you were gay?”
“Freshman year. There was this insanely pretty girl in the year above us who was captain of a bunch of the school’s sports teams.” Sunset’s smile faltered as she tensed, a little caught off guard. She tried her best to look attentive though. Starlight sighed, dreamily, dropping her eyes to the table as she let out a small chuckle. “I’ve never spoken to her, and I don’t know what she did after she graduated, but it turns out her best friend is one of the barista’s at The Forest— so my life has really come full circle.”
“O-oh. That’s pretty crazy,” Sunset tried to laugh. “So did you date a lot in high school?”
Starlight, again, let out a small laugh and toyed with the strand of hair at the side of her face. The girl’s eyes looked as if they were staring at something within the table, rather than the tabletop itself; as if she was watching the past unfold before her. Reminiscing. Sunset’s stomach knotted.
“Yeah. Well, I wouldn't consider a lot of it dating, per se. Me and my friends would-” she paused to glance around, lowering her voice, as if she were confessing a crime. “Mess around.”
“Mess around?” Sunset asked, pretending like she wanted to know.
Starlight rolled her eyes and faked a groan, pretending like she didn’t want to talk about it. “You know- we’d kiss, we’d cuddle, we’d…” she shrugged, “mess around.”
“O-oh,” Sunset nodded, “I see.”
Starlight leaned over and set her hand atop Sunset’s again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay that you haven’t had any of that yet, though! Honestly, I wish I’d’ve known better or actually… you know, cared about the people I was doing that stuff with.” Starlight’s lips pursed for a moment before she collected both of their glasses. “I’ll get us some more drinks?”
“Oh- uh. Yeah, sure.” Sunset shrunk into her chair as Starlight stood from the table.
The other girl paced to exit their booth but lingered for a moment. She turned back to Sunset and offered her a small smile, almost pained in a way. “Sunset, I… You know, it really is okay. You aren’t weird for focusing on school or-... or for just not being interested in that kind of stuff.” She dropped her eyes and shifted her weight before she looked up again, clinking both glasses together in her hands. “I wish I’d saved those experiences for someone special.” Starlight shrugged, hoping that was enough to express what she was trying to imply. After a beat of holding her girlfriend’s stare, she turned again, and left.
Sunset wrung her thumbs against her palms and swallowed past the regret in her throat. It had been a nice reassurance, but not enough to silence the voice inside Sunset’s head. The voice that told her that everything she’d done up until now had been pointless; she’d spent all of her time studying, to be the best, to excel further than her peers. But here she was now, second in her class, to someone who had had the social experiences she’d starved herself of. What had it all been for? What was the point in all of this? She wasn’t special. She could never be special.
Her spiral was interrupted by the aggressive vibration in her pocket, that resonated through the wood of her chair. She allowed herself a steadying breath, flattened her hands against the table, and counted backwards in threes.
Once she had calmed down enough, she plucked her phone from her jacket pocket and unlocked it to check her texts. It was from Moondancer.
‘Look, I’m really sorry about letting Sunburst just go off on Starlight like that. It wasn’t cool. I know how me saying that stuff makes you feel and I’m sorry about that, too. We’re leaving the library now if you guys are still on campus?’
Sunset paused, hovered her thumbs over her keyboard, and typed out a response.
“Here you go,” Starlight smiled as she took her seat once again, just as Sunset slipped her phone away. “What’s up?”
Sunset accepted her lemonade and kept her eyes low. “Moondancer asked us where we were and said she was sorry. I think Sunburst’s going to apologise to you, too.”
“Mhhh,” Starlight hummed around her straw, “did you tell them we were here?”
“Yeah. They’re on their way.”
“Cool,” Starlight nodded.
And that was that. They sat quietly in each other’s company, satisfied.
Sunset watched as Starlight drank, pressing her knuckles into her pink cheeks as her eyes looked side-ward. Her face was so gentle, Sunset bit her lip, but how many other people had looked at her like this, too?