Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare...
Proud and strong, the stallion in the center light of the stage remained in stature as the introduction went.
Fancypants...
...Doesn't wear pants...
"Dare say I don't. Rarely I see a pony with a pair of pants."
Fancypants...
...approves memos...
"Comes with the job description. Papers and invoices don't just check themselves over. If they did, why, stallions and mares alike all over would be without jobs."
Fancypants...
...is a certified pimp...
"Mmm... Must say that I have to differ with you on that one. Prostitution is outlawed in Canterlot. Not so much in Los Pegasus, but I digress."
Fancypants...
...drops by orphanages to hit orphans with fruits...
"That's heartless! No respectable being would ever do such a horrid act."
Fancypants...
...isn't a respectable being...
"I disagree. I am one of the most -if not the most- respectable stallion in Canterlot."
Fancypants...
...is a lord of modesty...
"It's well known among everypony in Canterlot. No need to be overly modest in honest matters."
Fancy--
Hey guys...
Oh no...
Sorry I came back...
I just forget a few-- BUCK! It's Fancypants!
Abort!
You're picking on Mr. Pants!?
Guys!
Run!
I'll get the door!
Go! Go! Go!
You two get back here!
How dare you be rude to Mr. Pants!
After a loud slamming sound, Fancypants was left in complete silence standing in the center of the room. "...Should I show myself out?"