//------------------------------// // Entry #3 - The Abyss // Story: Your Eyes On Me // by DatZigga //------------------------------// You know how in horror movies, the protagonist never seems to get the hint that they should leave the plot alone? Like, whenever there’s a spooky ouija board, they’re just compelled to ask the ghost questions, rather than just put the board away? Or, they decide to go down into the dark, decrepit basement, even though they know they heard something down there? I always thought of myself as a rational person. I would know when to quit. When I stare into the abyss and it stares back, I had the sense to turn around and go the other way. So, what did I decide to do when a bunch of cartoon animals celebrated my watching them, like a creepypasta written in kindergarten? I kept watching, of course. Like an idiot. In my defense, I didn’t know if I was still a skitzo. Hell, I still very well could be. But, regardless, a couple weird events weren’t enough for me to make a judgement. So, over the past month, I’ve made a habit of watching the show. The first thing I’ve noticed was that the show made a concerted effort to explain the large gap in time from since the last time I watched it. I’ve learned that a centaur dude wiped the old treehouse, which apparently gave birth to a bigger, shinier treehouse. Then, a new unicorn came along and had a villain arc before becoming a secondary character. Then, a bunch of folk heroes resurfaced and are now living in the modern, pony world. Then, a single filly managed to one up the entire main cast, before being sent to prison. And then, 4 of the old villains, five including the twist that is Discord, basically overthrow the kingdom before the gang beats them with one last rainbow laser, for old times’ sake. The only thing more peculiar than the direction the show went in while I was away was the way in which the show decided to tell me this. Spike, to his dismay, served as the narrative device. He was sitting in front of a chalkboard, being lectured by Twilight. As she explained each event, clips from episodes I’ve never seen played out before me. It was surreal. Couldn’t the channel just host reruns of the old episodes? Did the channel have reruns? Does the channel have any other show?! 8/3 Back to writing in the journal. I’m gonna find more time to write here. Also, I’m going to start dating these entries, for bookkeeping purposes. Exactly who else is gonna be looking at the mad scrawlings? Hell if I know.  Last entry, I was questioning if this “The Hub” had any other shows. Well, after some time researching the channel, I’ve come across a revelation: it doesn’t. In fact, I don’t think it exists.  Now that the TV is unbanned, the same goes for internet access. I’ve had access in school, so I wasn’t an absolute Neanderthal on the keyboard. Throughout all the web browsing, forum trolling, and wiki diving, I didn’t see a single mention of The Hub. Neither did I find any evidence of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  This begs the question, did I just make up an entire show in my head? That seemed unlikely, right? I did try searching for mental disorders that pertained. Among diagnoses were the likes of bipolar disorder, depression, and even post traumatic stress disorder. I mean, I am confirmed for depression and it would make sense. Quiet kid, poor home life, decides to fill the void of social interaction with an overactive imagination? Checks out.  So, it would seem that I figured it out? I’m just experiencing hallucinations and false memories? If that’s the case, why now?  After some thought, I think it’s just the stress of school. Given that I’m spending days on end in boring, difficult classes I barely prepare for, it would seem reasonable that once I get back on the TV, I would relapse. I guess then I am insane. I should probably just stop watching TV. 8/4 Alright, I know I said I wouldn’t but here me out. I mean, yeah, I concluded that I’m unwell and I should stop watching TV. But, it doesn’t seem right to brush it off yet. I mean, it was only one day. That’s not good science, Twilight taught me that. Well, in the past, she did. I remember that episode where she spent days trying to study Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. Now, I couldn’t actually tell you if it was all day or multiple days, but it was a significant amount of time. And the fact that I have that memory means something, right? Right. So, I spent another hour watching the show. This is how it went... Spike dragged his blanket with him into the castle’s library. Twilight pranced from bookshelf to bookshelf, collecting books in her magical grasp. Spike rubbed his eyes. “Uh, Twilight?” Spike yawned. “What are you doing at 4 in the morning?” Twilight barely regarded the drake. “Come on, Spike. Isn’t it obvious?” Spike blinked. “No. It’s not.” Twilight looked up at the mess of books she was levitating. To her, it was clear that she was getting far ahead of herself. “Hmm. You’re right.” Twilight agreed. “Maybe it will be more familiar like this!” She arranged the books on top of one another. Each book was carefully placed in a particular order, until it resembled a classic bookfort. In fact, it looked familiar. I held my tongue. I imagined that the ponies were none the wiser that I suspected something was up, so I didn’t want to blow the lid on my investigation.  “I mean, I guess it’s a little familiar.” Spike relented, cocking his head to one side. Then, his face lit up like a flashlight. “Wait, isn’t there we used to read comic books with-“ Twilight grabbed a remaining book and smacked it on the drake’s head.  Yup, none the wiser. “Why yes, it is the bookfort we used to read your comic books in!” Twilight corrected. She crouched down and ducked under the low hanging roof of the bookfort, Spike crawling after her. The two found themselves squeezed together, their faces uncomfortably close to one another. Twilight chuckled nervously. “Hehe, Spike? Did you get a little...bigger since we last did this?” “Jeez, Twi. I don’t know.” Spike answered, unamused by the comment. “Maybe it has more to do with the wings at your sides?” Spike pinched the wing, causing Twilight to yelp in shock. With that, the bookfort came tumbling down their sides. Twilight grabbed her wing and rubbed it. “Okay, I get your point.” Twilight chuckled. Spike picked up one of the books that made up the wall. It was a collection of nursery rhymes. He picked up another, aptly named “Little Red Riding Mare”. Another book, “Three Little Ponies”. Spike and I were sensing a pattern here. “What’s with all the kiddie books?” Spike asked, echoing my own thoughts. “Why even build a bookfort now?” Twilight pulled the books from her assistants claws and held them in front of her. Then, in a surprising move, she grabbed each one and hugged them tightly. Although her eyes were close, I could tell that she was remembering them fondly.  “I don’t know.” She finally admitted. “I guess I was just feeling nostalgic. I remember when we used to read everyone of these when you were younger. Whenever we finished a book, we’d added them to the wall. It was like we were making a home for ourselves out of stories. Every adventure, every lesson, would build a world for us to live in and be together. Don’t you agree, Spike?” Twilight looked excitedly to Spike, who looked to be dozing off. He snapped awake.  “Oh, you were talking to me?” Spike asked, pointing a claw at himself. Twilight glared at him,before breaking into a small smile. She ruffled the spines on his head, as a big sister would. “You're a piece of work, you know that?” Twilight teased. The two shared a laugh, ending out the scene. I stopped the episode at that point. Pffft, like it was an even an episode. I get the strange feeling that this “show” is more than a show. It’s like I’m peering into a window into another world, one in which they’re aware that I’m peeking in on them. If they're real, why don’t they find that creepy or disturbing? If they aren’t, why would I put myself through the mental gymnastics? I’m gonna go through the DSM again, see if there isn’t anything else wrong with me.