//------------------------------//
// Hyperspaced 
// Story: Starshot: Star Speaker 
// by Tums Festival 
//------------------------------//

“Oh no oh no oh no oh no!” 

“Derpy, what did you do?! I told you not to touch anything!” 

“It’s okay, little buddy. Deep breaths, deep breaths!”

“What?! I didn’t touch anything! Why do ponies always automatically assume it’s my fault when something goes wrong?!”

“Right, right, deep breathing, deep-- wait, we had a huge school project due tomorrow, and I was doing the finishing touches!”

“You were closest to any interface when it happened! That’s why I’m assuming you did it!” 

“Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are going to be so angry at me! Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot!”

“This is unacceptable! I demand we return to ground immediately!” 

“I uh, I don’t think we can, uncle. Wait, is that… is that another planet out there?!”

“Can everyone please just calm down before--”

“ENOUGH!.!.!” Luna finally bellowed, making good use of her Royal Canterlot Voice to silence the group.

Spike sighed. “--that happens.”

Luna rolled her eyes. What else was she supposed to do? If she hadn’t intervened, she was sure they would have kept bickering for another half-hour.

“No, it’s certainly not enough!” Pharynx growled, glaring daggers at Luna. “Unless you want a diplomatic incident, you’ll explain what happened right now!” 

“Uncle, please,” Ocellus said bashfully, tugging at one of his legs. “I don’t think the princess knows anything. Nobody does.”

“Someone must know something,” Rainbow Dash said. “We just went faster than even I ever could have! Shot up past the clouds in like a second! That doesn’t just happen.”

“I believe we’ve travelled much further than just ‘beyond the clouds’,” Doctor Whooves stated, still giving a sideways glance at Derpy. “In fact, I think we’ve exited orbit.”

“What?!” Pharynx snapped. “I was told this… this spaceship was dormant. That nothing worked. Now look at it!”

He gestured around him. The ‘bridge’, as Doctor Whooves had called it, was now bathed in blue light, where previously only battery-powered torches illuminated it. Monitors that were formerly pitch-black were now online, showing numerous lines and symbols nobody really understood. Furthermore, a large, luminous blue orb had appeared in the middle of the room, hovering slightly below the ceiling. 

However, the most brilliant sight of all was the massive monitor at the front of the bridge, which appeared to work as some form of window. On it, a beautiful red planet could be seen, surrounded by twinkling stars and the vastness of space. 

Doctor Whooves tapped his chin. “Somehow, electricity must have been restored to the ship.”

“Ya’ think?” Rainbow snapped. 

“Doc, how is that even possible?” Derpy commented, before narrowing her eyes. “And how could you blame me for doing something every top scientist in Equestria couldn’t - and by accident?!” 

“Ehe,” Doctor Whooves chuckled, rubbing the back of his head with the hoof. “I admit, I might have been a bit premature in that assessment.”

“Uh huh.”

“Everyone, please, calm yourselves,” Luna said, closing her eyes in frustration. “We need to organize and prioritize.”

“That’s definitely a better approach than Royal Canterlotting us,” Spike smiled.

Luna nodded towards him, smiling in return. “The first thing we need to do is--”

“Stay your tongue,” Pharynx growled. “Who says you’re in charge? Just because you were the former co-ruler of Equestria doesn’t mean you have authority over changelings!” He nodded towards Spike. “Or dragons, for that matter.”

“He does have a point,” Rainbow said. “Technically, you’re not really in charge of anyone anymore.”

Scootaloo finally spoke up. “But Rainbow…”

“Well it’s true!”

“This is an emergency,” Luna said frankly. “And we need clear leadership. I don’t care if it’s myself or another, but we must pick now.” 

“Fine!” Rainbow grinned. “I nominate myself.”

Pharynx glanced down at Ocellus with a stern look, then nudged her. 

“I, um… nominate Uncle Pharynx,” she sighed reluctantly.

“I’m the one with the most scientific experience,” Doctor Whooves said, more matter-of-factly than in a bragging tone. “Therefore, I would be the best fit.”

“Fine, hooves up if you vote Pharynx,” Spike said. 

Pharynx and Ocellus raised their holey hooves. 

“Doctor Whooves?” 

Only Doctor Whooves voted this time. He seemed astonished at this, briefly giving Derpy a hurt look. 

“What?!” Derpy huffed. “I’m still mad at you, you know!” 

Rainbow Dash cackled at that. “Haha, serves you right--”

“Rainbow Dash?” 

Only one hoof shot up - her own.

“Wait what?! Scootaloo! How could you?” 

She smiled sheepishly, glancing at Luna. “Sorry, Rainbow, she just has more experience, and I want to go home!” 

“I’m voting for Luna, too,” Spike said, shrugging. “She’s like two thousand years old and ruled for half of them. Who else can say that?”

Luna raised an eyebrow, unsure whether Spike meant that as a back-clawed compliment or not.

“And what was she doing during the other thousand?” Pharynx said, giving Luna a distrustful look. 

Luna’s temper flared within her, but she managed to quell it with a deep breath. 

“That’s cold, dude,” Spike pointed out. 

“The truth often is.”

“Well, I trust Princess Luna,” Derpy smiled. “She has my vote.” 

“So that’s three, two, one, one then,” Spike counted. “Princess, your vote?” 

“I um,” she coughed, glancing about. “I… abstain.”

“Do you not trust in your own leadership capabilities?” Pharynx said, staring at her pensively. “Or are you just trying to look humble?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Spike shrugged. “She has the most votes, so she’s in charge.”

“Woooo, go princess!” Scootaloo cheered. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Rainbow muttered.

Pharynx narrowed his eyes. “Fine. What are your orders… captain?”

Luna thought to herself for a moment. Here they were aboard a spaceship turned museum turned… spaceship once more, and so far above their heads they couldn’t see starlight. Well, technically, they could, but even that was a cause for concern. Luna knew the position of the stars like the back of her hoof, yet glancing out the viewscreen, none appeared to be where they were supposed to. 

She would have to dwell on that later, however. Decisions had to be made now.

“Alright,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Okay, first thing we need to do is make sure the other tour group is okay. Two volunteers to go look for them?”

“I will!” Derpy beamed. 

“Same here,” Rainbow Dash grinned, before glancing Scootaloo’s way. “You mind staying here on your own for a second, squirt? Shouldn’t take too long.”

“Um, yeah,” she said nervously. “I’m game.”

“Derpy, Rainbow, wait, it could be dangerous,” Doctor Whooves warned. “We don’t even know if the ship is completely intact.”

“It looks like it is,” Ocellus said.

“Kid, how could you possibly know that?” Pharynx said skeptically.

“B-Because it’s on the screen! Look!” 

She pointed to a monitor at one of the nearby consoles. On it was a twirling, three-dimensional diagram of the triangular-shaped vessel, and above it a string of surprising text.

“Wait a minute, what?” Doctor Whooves said, his eyes widening at the sight as he galloped over to it. 

“‘Structural Integrity - 98%’”, he read. “But… how… “ He galloped over to another console, still stunned. “This is impossible! The text on these looked like hieroglyphics before! How could it have changed to our language? And on its own for that matter?!”

“Good question,” Luna said. “But first... Derpy, Rainbow?” 

“It’s on like Bonkey Kong!” Rainbow saluted, leading Derpy to the twin doors that were the bridge entrance. 

Derpy blinked her lopsided eyes, catching up to trot alongside her. “Bonkey Kong?” 

“It’s heh, a reference to a game Wonderbolts like to play,” she said, scratching the back of her head. “Involves dodging barrel-shaped clouds and… well, I’ll tell you later.”

“Okidoke.”

Just like that, the two were gone. 

“You ponies are so weird sometimes,” Pharynx said.

“Says the shape-shifter,” Doctor Whooves chirped.

“H-He’s got a point,” Ocellus smiled. 

Surprisingly, Pharynx actually chuckled slightly. “You’ve got more guts than I thought, Doc. I like that.” 

Doctor Whooves blinked in response, apparently lost for words.

“Alright, listen here,” Luna said, taking a deep breath. “While they're gone, I think the first thing we need to do is figure out where we are exactly.”

“How do we do that?” Scootaloo blinked. 

“Well, we have a console that shows the ship’s integrity, right?” Luna reasoned. “There might be others that can tell us its position.”

“Good thinking, princess,” Doctor Whooves complimented. “Hah! Here I was trying not to think this would be like Space Trek, but perhaps life imitates art more than one may think, right?”

“Space Trek?” Scootaloo asked.

“They’re a series of science fiction novels,” Ocellus explained shyly. “I, um, may have read a couple of them… a couple dozen.”

Pharynx gave her a disappointed look. “I need to have a talk with my brother on how much Changelings are neglecting physical training for… whatever this is.”

“Hey, don’t knock the classics,” Spike grunted. “I mean, I think I’ve only read one of the comics and none of the books before, but that’s something, right?”

“Mmm, I quite enjoyed those myself…” Luna blushed. “Especially the ones with Quick Card. The… handsome bald pony captain.”

“‘Handsome bald captain?’” Spike teased.

“It was his description!” Luna huffed.

“Nothing wrong with Quick Card, ” Doctor Whooves beamed. “I always preferred Captain Smirk myself, but Quicky was a close second.”

“I guess it’s not surprising that the princess of the moon and night would like space stuff,” Spike chuckled.

“Those novels helped carry me through a… difficult time after my exile,” Luna said, a hint of nostalgia in her tone. “They were most inspiring. A shame I could never find the complete series.”

“Hah!” Doctor Whooves grinned. “Small changeling and um, little dragon guy--”

“Spike,” he groaned.

“Yes, sorry. But it isn’t it fantastic? The princess is one of us.”

“R-Really?” Ocellus squeaked. 

Spike smirked. “You mean a nerd?”

“I was going to say Trekkie, but that works, too,” Doctor Whooves shrugged. 

“Can we please focus on the task at hand?” Pharynx grunted. “We have a station to find, remember?”

“Yes, let’s um… get to it,” Luna coughed, still slightly embarrassed about revealing herself to be one of these ‘nerds’. 

The group split up, each checking one of the six consoles on the bridge, two being in front of what Doctor Whooves had previously theorized to be the ‘captain’s chair’, and the rest scattered around the rim of the circular bridge, engraved into its sides.

“This one says something about environment systems,” Spike called. “And uh, hey, Doc, how do you work these things, anyway?”

“We’ll figure that out later,” Doctor Whooves said. “Just don’t touch anything yet.”

“Whoops, accidentally pressed a button,” Spike spoke sarcastically. “What’s this about ‘opening airlocks’?”

“Not funny!” Ocellus squeaked.

“Quit screwing around, dragon,” Pharynx growled.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Anyway, not really sure what I’m looking at here,” Pharynx continued, now glancing at a console himself. “What’s a Magnetic Shard Accelerator Cannon? Forward Shields? I guess the latter is some sort of defense device - you know, like a shield - but with this place who knows?”

“I think you guessed correctly, my testosterone addled friend,” Doctor Whooves said. “It may be exactly what it says on the tin. My science team never did figure out what those large holes on the front of the ship were for. They might have been built-in cannons!”

“Well, that’d be nice,” Pharynx said, with the first hint of happiness in his voice Luna had noticed so far. “If we can figure out how they work, at least we won’t be a pinata waiting to get whacked.”

“How do you know about pinatas, Uncle Pharynx?” Ocellus asked curiously. 

“Thorax dragged me to a pony birthday party once,” Pharynx said. “One of the purple ones - Starlight Glim Glam or something. He should have told me I’d get to hit something with a stick. I wouldn’t have complained as much.”

“Well, I guess we know who will be manning that station,” Luna said, giving him a sarcastic look. 

“Manning?” Scootaloo said. 

“She’s right,” Doctor Whooves said. “If we ever want to control this ship, each of us will have to pick a station and learn how to operate them. I always assumed it was meant to be controlled by multiple individuals, and this pretty much confirms it.”

“H-How long have you been studying this ship, anyway, Doctor Whooves?” Ocellus asked.

“Ever since we started excavating it from underneath the Everfree Forest,” he stated, before sighing heavily. “I never thought we’d be able to actually fly it, though. Like I told you before the tour, It appeared to be completely defunct. We didn’t even know if it still had a power source, let alone that it could be reactivated. To be honest, this ship is so very far beyond our level of technology that we were lucky to even be able to guess at how some of it worked.  Again, something must have-- Ah, here we go.”

“What? What is it?” Luna said, her and the rest of the group trotting/walking over to the console he was staring at. 

“Navigational controls,” he stated, gesturing towards the console, and raising an eyebrow as the group clambered over each other to see it. “Hm. I wish there was an easier way for everyone to see this thing--”

His eyes widened, apparently noticing something. He turned his head, the others following suit. To everyone’s surprise, the same images and text that were on the console screen were now on the main viewscreen. On it was what appeared to be a map of their current solar system. One which showed the central star as well as four, orbiting planets. Near the third planet, a red, triangular icon appeared. Apparently, that was them.

“Hmmm…” Doctor Whooves pondered. 

However, before he could say anything more, an ear-wrenching sound filled the room, apparently coming from previously hidden speakers. To Luna, it sounded like a combination of radio static and a cat’s claws being scratched on a chalkboard. If it had lasted any longer than a second, she would have been forced to cover her ears.

“You uh, you never had any trouble with ghosts aboard this thing, did you?” Scootaloo gulped. 

Doctor Whooves blinked. “No, no we did not.”

“Maybe it's the aliens,” Spike whispered. 

“I-I thought they died a long time ago?” Scootaloo said.

“Well, maybe it’s their spirits! Maybe they never left and now they want their ship back!” 

“T-This is way too spooky,” Ocellus squeaked. “Too spooky for me!” 

“Ocellus, orange pony kid, annoying dragon, stay behind me,” Pharynx said slowly, Ocellus, Spike and Scootaloo eagerly following his command. “And stay silent!” 

Just then, the noise came again in short, random bursts… and a smile slowly formed on Doctor Whooves’s lips. “Ah, I see now.”

“What do you see?” Luna asked.

“Hear, to be more accurate.” He gestured towards one of his ears. “Listen closely to it.”

Luna perked her ears, listening closely. The noise bursts continued onward, but it didn’t take her long to realize that something was becoming mixed in with them.

“It’s a voice.”

Doctor Whooves nodded. “Indeed.”

“Language… language…. --ERROR-- language fully calibrated for speech synthesis,” it said in a male, droning tone, the static exponentially decreasing as its voice became clearer. “Foreign entity contained. All systems fully operational. Awaiting instruction.” 

“Yes, I’m almost certain now,” Doctor Whooves said. “It seems to be one of the ship’s systems.”

“Whew!” Spike said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “So, no ghost, right?”

Doctor Whooves shook his head. “No ghost.”

“Awaiting instruction?” Ocellus said, stepping out from behind Pharynx. “Whoever that is sounds like the computer from Space Trek.”

“Com-pu-ter?” Luna said, furrowing her brow. She had learned of modern marvels since her return from exile, but with Equestria entering a technological revolution, things were changing far too quickly for her to keep up with.

“A machine you can program to perform various functions,” Doctor Whooves explained. “They’re cutting edge technology, quite rare outside of most universities.” 

“I think Twilight had one in the basement of the old treehouse,” Spike pointed out.

“... And the basement of Princess Sparkle’s treehouse, apparently,” Doctor Whooves sighed. “And yes, my young, studied Changeling, I do believe you’re correct. This computer, however, seems to be far more advanced than our own. It apparently responds to voice commands… and can respond back.”

“Can we tell it to take us home?” Scootaloo asked.

“As they say these days, ‘worth a shot’,” Luna said, before clearing her throat. “Um, computer, take us back from where we came.”

“--ERROR-- --MULTIPLE--,” it responded immediately. “Navigational commands must be entered manually due to severance of my mainframe and propulsion systems. Aetherium depleted. Solarium depleted.”

“Guess that would have been too easy,” Spike said. “Though what in the world is Aetherium? Solarium?”

“For once in my life, I have no idea,” Doctor Whooves said, baffled. 

“Maybe this computer thing would know,” Pharynx said. “Computer, what’s Aetherium?”

“Aetherium: an ultra-rare highly volatile trans-dimensional substance. Typically only used in the most high energy applications, such as opening wormholes. For many eons, it was thought to be mythical in nature, until deposits were found on two now Oblivion-controlled worlds.”

“Well, this thing’s just full of exposition,” Spike snarked.

“Shut up, dragon!” Pharynx snapped. “Computer, what’s Solarium?” 

“Solarium: a fuel source typically used for short-range hyperspace travel. Deposits can mainly be found on worlds orbiting dying stars.” 

“This doesn’t tell us anything,” Pharynx grunted. “Hyperspace? Wormholes? Trans-dimensional substances? What are those?”

“--ERROR-- Information Library partially corrupted by foreign entity. Only 27% of the archives are accessible. Must extrapolate answers from non-corrupted and new data.”

“Great.” 

“Wormhole,” Doctor Whooves pondered. “I might be able to help there, though it will take some explaining. Maybe later.”

“Can you at least tell us where we are, computer?” Luna asked.

“Current system unexplored by all known factions. Stellar Class: Red Dwarf. One planetary body detected thus far. Limited details. Further scans needed.”

“That red planet we saw on the screen earlier can’t be Equis,” Ocellus said, shaking her head. “I’ve always read it was supposed to look green and blue from high above.”

Doctor Whooves raised his eyebrows, once again apparently impressed by her. “Indeed.”

“No name for current system found in any star charts.”

“How about Kumquat?” Spike joked.

“Name accepted. New system label: Kumquat.” 

“Seriously?” Scootaloo said, suppressing a giggle.

“Oh dear,” Doctor Whooves sighed. “This is proof our people were nowhere near ready for space travel.”

“Come on, ponies, focus,” Pharynx grunted. “I can’t be the only one who is needed back on our planet.” He glared at Luna. “Reign your new peons in, captain.”

“Doctor Whooves?” Luna said, partially ignoring him.

“Right, let me just try…” He thought for a second, before saying: “Okay… okay here’s an idea. Ahem. Computer, what is the distance between the previous planet this ship was landed upon and…” He winced. “...The Kumquat System.”

“Approximately 56 thousand light years. Further navigational data still compiling.”

Luna shrugged. “Well, that doesn’t sound so…” 

She planned to continue until she saw Doctor Whooves’s jaw nearly falling off his mouth. 

“Bad?”

“Okidoke,” he said in an exasperated tone. “Nopony panic, but I think we’re in a bit of a pickle.”

“... Why?” Luna asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer. “What exactly is a light year?”

“The distance light travels in one year,” Doctor Whooves gulped. “Each is approximately 9.5 trillion kilometers.”

Luna’s jaw nearly joined Doctor Whooves’s.

“Alright, pickle it is.”