//------------------------------// // Prologue: Paper Tiger // Story: A Sheet in the Wind (Iota Force Issue #5) // by The Iguana Man //------------------------------// It was a clear afternoon in the skies above Central Equestria. There was barely a cloud either high or low in the sky and the sun was shining brightly through the winter air. The expansive fields on the ground below were covered in a thin layer of fresh snow, with only the occasional paths among them visible thanks to a bit of salt scattered that morning. A few birds, those that were comfortable enough in the cold temperatures to not bother flying south, were gliding through the sky, singing to each other and completing the picture of midwinter beauty. Unfortunately, another sound soon arose – one considerably less sonorous. “How much longer, dear?” a female voice whined. “How much longer must we endure this dreadful cold and this filthy scenery?” “Not to worry,” a male voice replied, less petulant but no more pleasant, “I'm sure these gentlecolts will get us back to Canterlot within the hour. That is, if they wish to get paid this month.” A tiny hint of grumbling could be barely heard above the wind as a chariot came into view. It was a horrendously tacky affair, covered in gold and silver, with jewels decorating the outside and velvet lining the inside. None of this seemed particularly conducive to actually being pulled, if the expressions on the two pegasi doing so were any indication, but the unicorn couple riding in it seemed unbothered by little things like practicality or making their chauffeurs' jobs tolerable. The lady sighed, pulling her fur coat tighter around her, making sure to keep all her jewellery on the outside, presumably in case some bird or insect were to see her and think she was less than monumentally rich. “Why in Equestria we had to spend the day slumming it in Fillydelphia, I've no idea,” she scoffed. “They call that little hovel a city? It's barely a suburb. I've a mind to sue them for daring to claim to be in the same league as Canterlot.” In her mind, it seemed, the respectably-sized houses and offices of Fillydelphia were reduced to caves and mud huts. The stallion nodded, combing his immaculate mane. He'd been combing it on and off for the entire trip, either not realizing or not caring how much of a waste of effort it was, as the wind would quickly mess it up again. “I know, dear, believe me. I mean, for Celestia's sake, they have the perfect place for a spa and what do they put in it? A hospital for commoners! Such a waste. However, one has to give some consideration to charity for such... ponies.” “Does one?” The lady replied, looking genuinely puzzled at the concept. The stallion nodded a couple of times before his straight face crumbled and he was reduced to laughter. “Of course not! I doubt those hoof-dragging neanderthals can remember such donations, let alone appreciate them. However, we still have to make the effort, otherwise we'll be the only ones who can't claim we did. Do you want to hear Fancy Pants' latest boast about how much he's given this month and then have no answer when he asks what you have?” The lady nodded, not bringing up or, to all appearances, even considering the possibility that such claims might be anything other than boasts. “I suppose so. Still, would that we could do away with such frivolities,” she said as she lay back on her velvet cushion and levitated a grape out of the golden fruit bowl on the side of the chariot. “Perhaps we could build that spa there.” The stallion smiled. “One thing at a time, my dear.” A shadow briefly flickered across their faces. “What was that?” asked the mare. “Oh, just a bird, I should imagine,” the stallion replied, rolling his eyes, “I'm trying to have them banned, but you know the bureaucracy the Princess likes to...” Before he could finish his sentence, something landed on his head, bouncing off and twisting around in mid-air to face them. The two were briefly worried before they realized exactly what, or rather, who was facing them. It was a young colt, barely reaching up to their torsos. His coat was green, but most of it was covered – he was wearing a white hooded sweatshirt, with the hood drawn tight around his face, and thick hoof-less socks. His mane was entirely hidden, and his tail was in a white sheath, so they couldn't tell what colour they were. Furthermore, though the areas they would be in were covered, there were no lumps in the hoodie on his forehead or back, meaning he was almost certainly an earth pony. However, it was a little hard to tell because, over his back, he was wearing a pair of basic saddlebags. They were both bulging, but not solidly – it looked like they contained a number of very angular things, though what those things were was impossible to determine. Though his face wasn't covered by his hood, he was wearing a mask. However, it wasn't made of fabric or strapped to his face, but rather looked like it had been folded out of paper – a thick, blockish wall over his eyes with rounded sides, square eye holes and a thin beak that went forward over the colt's muzzle. Despite the fact that there seemed to be nothing holding the mask on and that a mask over the eyes and a little bit of the nose shouldn't conceal anything, it stayed firmly rooted to the colt's face and somehow did an excellent job hiding it. The only part of him that was completely uncovered was his haunch, between where his torso reached his back legs, where the sweatshirt ended, and the tops of those legs, where the socks began. This meant that his cutie mark was plainly visible – a unicorn folded out of paper. In the colt's front hooves were... well, it was hard to tell what they were. Like his mask and, apparently, his cutie mark, they were constructed out of paper, but the object they were emulating was rather harder to ascertain. Each one consisted of a long block of folded paper, thick at one end but tapering off into almost a point at the other. Once it got close to that point, the blocks split into two separate arms, each ending in an impressively folded ring. These rings held between them a rolled-up tube of paper, with the ends folded out to keep them from slipping out of the rings, and in the middle of each tube was held what looked like a many-pointed shuriken or a paper buzzsaw. All in all, the two unicorns were more confused by the sight than intimidated. However, their dumbfounded silence faded when the stallion registered that he'd just been jumped on and reached up to rub his head. “Rather a rude entrance, don't you think, boy? I presume you wish for an autograph, but even were I inclined to give one to an urchin I don't know or one dressed in such a plebian fashion or one who jumps into our carriage uninvited and unwanted, I can assure you that giving me a concussion does not make me kindly disposed towards such a request.” The young colt scoffed, an amused sneer coming onto his face. “Autograph? You kiddin'? That'd just be a waste of paper. And I've got plenty of better things to use paper for. Lemme show you.” Without waiting for a reply or even taking a moment to register the unicorns' insulted expressions, the colt whirled round and leapt up onto the front rim of the chariot. He held his front hooves, and the paper... things they were holding, out to the sides. He then started, with one hoof for each, folding them at incredible speed. His hooves moved so dextrously that it was nearly impossible to follow the movements. One moment the toe would be pressing down a fold on the chariot's rim, the next the sole would grasp it and pull another fold over and the next, his head would flick forward to bite down on a corner for a fraction of a second before darting over to the other paper-thing. It would have been impressive were it not for the audience, well, not being impressed. The two pegasi were looking over their shoulders with mild interest (after all, how dangerous could a kid with paper really be?) and the two unicorns refused to acknowledge that making anything could be worthwhile – too much like work. Within a few seconds, the ends of the arms had been sharpened into thick points. Before anyone could ask the point of this exercise, he raised the two objects above his head. For a fraction of a second, a faint glow could be seen around the points he'd just created before he slammed them down and into the front of the chariot. Now, in normal circumstances, it would be fair to say that this would be a rather futile endeavour, as the sides were constructed of solid (and very expensive) wood and were hard enough to withstand most hoof-powered forms of attack, let alone ones using paper. However, rather than a crumpling sound, there was a heavy crunch and the sound of splintering. Looking down, the unicorn couple saw the very ends of the points protruding from the front wall of the chariot. The stallion opened his mouth to ask what was going on, his interest in the situation rapidly increasing as it became clear that there might be something dangerous about this situation, when the colt raised a hoof to stop him. He flicked both his front hooves forward, setting the spiked wheels spinning and, the moment he did so, a loud buzzing filled the air – the unmistakable sound of a power saw. And, as the two pegasi noted, the sound was coming from just behind their haunches. “Now then, gents,” the colt spoke finally, “no need to worry – long as you keep goin' like you're goin', you'll keep outta reach of these little babies. If you don't – if you try to slow down, go down or turn around, well...” without warning, he grabbed the left pegasus's tail and brushed it gently against the saw, shearing off a substantial amount of hair and instilling a substantial amount of fear, “I'm sure you'll do what's best.” Before he could turn around, the colt felt himself lift off the chariot, a pale yellow glow surrounding him. He was turned around in midair to face the unicorn stallion, his horn aglow with the same aura. “Well, I'll give you this, young pony, you know how to intimidate the common folk. However, you've still us to deal with and I can assure you that we won't be cowed by some silly paper tricks”. The colt's eye twitched. “Silly, huh? Lemme show you silly. Silly is thinkin' I'd only have something for the pegasi. Silly is thinkin' you could stop me. Silly is thinkin' that just cause you can lift me, you can hold me.” His front hooves whipped forward. Even if the stallion's aura had been capable of holding him immobile, it hadn't been focused on doing so. And, furthermore, it most definitely wasn't capable of holding him immobile, given that the stallion in question was neither battle-magic trained nor used to levitating anything other than a teacup or, on a really strenuous day, a book. As such, the aura did not prevent him from throwing what looked like two paper shuriken at the two unicorns. Their reflexes being somewhat dull, they had barely thought to move before the thrown paper-blades slashed at their horns, only producing shallow cuts but disrupting any magic they were holding or intending to cast. The two yelped in pain – there was no permanent damage, but it still hurt and would prevent them from using magic for a few minutes. The mare glared at the colt, though it was hard to tell if she was angry at the pain or the shuriken cutting through and messing up her hairdo. Whatever the case, she ducked around her husband and ran at the colt, hopping up on her hind legs and putting her front hooves together, ready to slam them down in something vaguely similar to a punch. However, the colt was quicker. He ducked underneath her blow, his hoof reaching quickly into his saddlebags and producing what looked like a thin paper chain. As her hooves landed on the deck but before she could separate them, he whipped the chain around them. As with his previous tools, it didn't look like much – thin strips of paper bent into circles and interlinked with one another. However, looking closely, there seemed to be no tape or glue holding it together. And whatever was holding it together was far stronger, as the mare found out as she struggled to pull the flimsy-looking thing off. Producing two more chains, the colt slipped between the mare's hind legs and whipped the two chains on either side of him – one around the mare's back legs and one around the stallion's front legs. As the mare fell over and the stallion's mouth flapped in disbelief like a fish, he darted around, got out a fourth chain and bound the stallion's hind legs with that as well. As the stallion fell to the deck, his horn out of commission and his hooves bound, the colt smirked as he stood over the two. “Look at you, floppin' around on the floor. What's the matter, can't beat a couple of paper tricks?” His smile fell and he kicked the two in their stomachs. “Don't you just look silly now?” The mare winced at the kick. Not that it was especially hard, but she wasn't used to physical... well, anything, really. “What do you want from us, you pitiful vulgarian? If you want money, then-” “Yeah,” the colt interrupted, “that'll do for a start!” He strolled over to their prone forms and plucked the bulging bit pouches from their belts. “You know, most smart ponies wouldn't carry this much around with them all the time. Kinda why I picked you out – you are not smart ponies.” The stallion snorted, either unbothered by the insult or simply not refusing to allow his ears to interpret the sounds. “Is that it? Is that all you're after?” “It'll do for now,” The colt nodded as he backed up to the rear edge of the chariot. “I ain't greedy, this'll do plenty. Anyway, better be off – don't worry, gents,” he called to the terrified pegasi pulling the chariot, “the saws'll run down in about five minutes, then you can stop and help these guys.” “And then you'll have to deal with them,” The mare sneered. “Do you really think you'll get away?” “With this?” the colt finished. “Well, kinda seems that way – they're outta the fight, you're outta the fight, so...” “No,” the mare interrupted him, “you won't get away. We're on a chariot in the middle of the sky that you just made sure can't stop and you're an earth pony. How exactly did you intend to escape?” It was hard to tell which she was pouring more scorn on – the idea of him escaping or the fact that he was an earth pony. The colt hummed for a second, putting a hoof up to his chin in mock thought. “Good question.” He shrugged. “Ah, well, I'm sure I'll think of somethin'.” The moment he finished, he hopped backwards, flipping over once and falling from the chariot and out of sight. The stallion sighed. “Well, we lost some money, but at least that disgusting little lout won't be...” he trailed off as he and his wife saw said lout rising up from beneath the back lip of the chariot. At first, he simply seemed to be levitating, though with no glow of magic. However, as his hooves rose up into their line of sight, they saw that he was, in fact, riding a giant paper aeroplane. The colt grinned at them. “I thoughta somethin'! Goodbye, milord, milady,” He bowed mockingly, pouring every ounce of sarcasm he could muster into his address, “It's been fun.” He burst out into a short, harsh laugh. “Fun for you, that is, to have been robbed by... the Paper Prince!” As he finished, the Paper Prince turned the plane around, apparently through nothing but thought, and shot off in the opposite direction, quickly shrinking out of sight.