//------------------------------// // Episode 7: Rampage and Ruin // Story: Evanstallion: Neon Friendship // by Short-tale //------------------------------// Morning began with its normal excitement. Clouds and rain were pretty rare in post second impact Equestria. The sky turned red, then orange, then an intense yellow. The small clouds reflected that brilliance back to the sun, reminding it they could shine too. The sun said it had enough of that and rose higher still, increasing in brightness. The clouds couldn’t reflect it anymore and decided being nice and fluffy were much more suitable to them.  Fluttershy rose early in the morning and happily began to cook pancakes. She felt a soft wet clamp attach itself to her tail and smiled. “Oh,” she cooed, “is little Gummy hungry? Does he want to eat some nummy pancakes too? Well of course you can have some.” The pair found their seats at the table and began to joyfully eat as Pinkie Pie emerged from her room. Her mane was a mess and she immediately dove at a half eaten cake. “Yeeeeee,” Pinkie squealed as her mane filled like a balloon to its proper shape. “That’s the fun way to start the day.” “Umm, do you have to show up at the school today?” mumbled Fluttershy, allowing her own mane to drift further over her face. “Of course. It’s going to be super duper fun. Think of the party I can throw!” The party pony’s entire being shook with anticipation. “Umm, could you... not do that?” “Why not? Everypony loves a party.” “It’s just kind of embarrassing,” Fluttershy muttered even quieter while her mane engulfed more of her. “Ha ha ha, oh Fluttershy,”responded Pinkie.”No it isn’t,” she assured.  The doorbell rang, which signaled that Applejack and Sunburst were outside. Pinkie flew to the door before Fluttershy could even react. She opened it and found the two beaming faces of Fluttershy’s friends.  “Hey ya Ms Pinkie Pie,” shouted Applejack excitedly. “Ya don’t happen to have any o’ those apple cupcakes, do ya?” “Indeedy doodle,” Pinkie squealed and tossed one each to Applejack and Sunburst. “Much obliged,” said Applejack enthusiastically and bit her cupcake. “Don’t forget yooooouuurs, Fluttershy,” the pink mare offered her last cupcake. Fluttershy quickly grabbed it with her wing. “Have a good day,” Pinkie called after them. *** “Aww,” Applejack gushed, “I wish Pinkie Pie was livin’ with me. Then I could have a party everyday.” “Yeah, that would be great,” agreed Sunburst. “You don’t know how difficult it is cleaning up after all that cake,” thought Fluttershy. But she said nothing and let her friends have their fantasies.  The walk to school was filled with talks of Pinkie’s awesomeness and the deliciousness of her cupcakes and pies. Fluttershy kept quiet.  Each thought of her roommate coming to school to meet her teacher sent shivers down her spine. She wasn’t sure that Pinkie needed to come at all. Since when was it customary for your roommate to meet your teacher and all your school friends anyway? She began to suspect that “bring your roommate to class day” might be something Pinkie made up. **** Pinkie knew Fluttershy was nervous but hoped that it would pass. One of her main duties was to help the pilots in their lives and make sure they were doing as well as they could,  both as a pilot and in society. If the pilots were happy in their lives they would be better in the cockpit, and if their lives were starting to suffer it could be a sign of mental disturbances caused by piloting. Twilight had insisted that Pinkie stay on top of things to be sure. The party mare rode her large blue cannon into the parking lot of the school. She shifted her weight quickly to one side to cause it to skid into a space. The sound brought a lot of looks from the scholarly ponies. They began looking out the windows. “It’s Pinkie,” shouted a blue unicorn stallion with a grey mane that Pinkie, oddly, didn’t recognize.  “Pinkie!” Other ponies took up the call as they rushed to get a look at her. The party pony could always draw a large crowd with her fun antics and parties. Evidently that reputation preceded her, because soon the entire school rushed to get a look at the perky pink party pony.  Pinkie grinned and waved, then quickly pulled the cord on her cannon. Confetti rained down over the entire school. She placed her hoof over her mouth sheepishly while the school cheered. *** “Argh, she’s so embarrassing,” complained Fluttershy as she watched her impish actions from her school room window.  “Ya just don’t know how good ya got it,” declared Applejack. “We don’ have time fer such fancy things like parties at mah place. Not since we lost mah parents.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” apologized the flustered Fluttershy. “But that’s what makes parties so fun. Ya can focus on the good times.” Another volley of confetti flew through the air and cascaded down. Applejack took off her hat and screamed “Yeeehaw.”  Fluttershy didn’t know what happened after Pinkie entered the school but she did hear rumors of random things exploding with confetti. She shuddered to think what the teachers thought of her now.  Her schoolmates excitedly expressed their congratulations on having such a fun room mate. Fluttershy smiled at them but wondered how much they would love having a cannon blast you out of bed some mornings to make the day “the best day ever.” *** The next day Fluttershy and Gummy ate some waffles that were equally as tasty as yesterday’s pancakes. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie opened her bedroom door to reveal a fully dressed and serious looking pony. Her hair was down and flat. She wore her full military-looking jacket with black pants and her red barrette.  Fluttershy stared in disbelief as Gummy licked his eye. The small piece of waffle on her fork slid to her plate.  “Whaa, wha?” the yellow mare stammered. “Yeah I’ve got to do boring old work,” Pinkie explained. “I’ll see you tonight. Bye.” *** Twilight and Pinkie sat at an empty table. Pinkie glanced around at the banquet hall the table resided in. It had a very drab, stale feel. She wiggled her legs in boredom. It was such a dull party that Pinkie couldn’t help but perk up at the thought of making better. She reached into her mane to grab a few confetti hand grenades when she felt the purple hoof of Twilight push her hat further on to her head. She peeled out from underneath and saw Twilight’s disapproving expression.  Pinkie decided to figure out which part of the party was the most boring. The chairs were set up nicely, but they felt stale and interesting. The bleached white tablecloths put the cream-colored walls to sleep. Even the large welcome banner lacked enthusiasm. It was written in flat, boring, scientific lettering that didn’t suggest a hint of fun. “Flim and Flam present the amazing Pone Alone defense machine.” Nothing sounded so uninteresting as that.  Twilight seemed like she was in her element. They had been sent by CAKE to watch the unveiling of a civilian-made machine that could replace their Evanstallions. Twilight had been furiously studying in the carriage ride in. She sat in the chair tapping the table nervously with her hoof.  Soon the lights went out and two spot lights appeared. Two yellow unicorns with red and white manes appeared in front of two podiums.  They looked like twins, but one sported a red handlebar mustache, allowing others to tell them apart.  “Good morning, ladies and gentlecolts, he’s Flim,” said the mustached pony. “And he’s Flam,” introduced Flim. “We are the heads of the famous Pone Alone robot project.” “We’re here to present this robot as the savior of ponykind that it is,” took up Flam. “This is Pone Alone,” Flim announced as his horn began to glow a small video began. The room darkened and a reel to reel started to project on a screen. A large goofy looking robot appeared on the screen. It was a thin, frail-looking pony with large rods that stuck out where its mane should be.  “Pone Alone,” said a voice that sounded like Flam. “A robot to save us from angel attacks in these dangerous times.” That was it. The reel to reel ended, turning the screen an eye-blinding white. The lights came back on and the unicorns resumed their podiums. “What?” hissed Twilight quietly to Pinkie. “That movie told us nothing!” “Yes folks, we guarantee this robot is completely safe,” started Flim. “My brother and I have run numerous tests and Pone Alone passes them all,” declared Flam. “Why this very machine could rival the Evanstallions at CAKE,” Flim bragged. The two then began such a barrage of banter that Pinkie couldn’t follow who was talking. “No longer will you risk your lives to this angel menace! Our fully automated Pone Alone can fight angels with no pilots getting hurt or suffering.” “It’s completely self reliant.” “Safe.” “And highly mobile.” “Its internal magic system allows for unlimited operational time, versus the short window if the Evanstallion’s external power source gets cut.” “What about control?” demanded Twilight, standing up and cutting off their sales pitch. “Magic constructs can behave horribly if the spells are wrong or not strong enough.” “You mean like your berserker episode against the first angel?” asked Flam, holding up a picture of the Eva charging the first angel. “What? How did you get... I mean, yes,” Twilight stammered. She took a large breath to composed herself. “We learned then that, even with all our knowledge of magic, things can still go wrong. Do you want to take that risk with something that is essentially a walking magical bomb?” “A magical bomb? How extreme,” scoffed Flim. “You said it brother,”Flam commended him. “Our robot has tons of safety features that will disperse all the magical energy in it long before it would explode,” assured Flim. “Gah,” whispered Twilight as she sat back down. “How did they know about the ‘berserker incident?’” “Oh, that’s easy,” said Pinkie with a dismissive hoof.”Somepony told them.” “Do you know who? They weren’t supposed to,” Twilight growled looking suspiciously at her. “Ohh. No idea.” “Without further ado,” began Flam. “The machine you’ve been waiting for,” continued Flim. “The Pone Alone,” they simultaneously introduced.  The back of the theater opened and revealed an observation window. The Pone Alone stood stories tall, but looked nothing like the picture in the movie. It looked cobbled together with multiple pieces of various colored metals. The legs and body creaked heavily in the light breeze. “It walks, it talks, it defeats angels with relative ease,” Flim assured. “Enough words, brother. Let’s show these nice ponies how well it moves,” suggested Flam. “Begin the walking cycle.” Flam gave the command and a team of magic engineers and remote operators began moving dials and levers. The shoddy looking robot shakily began to walk. Each tentative step was accompanied by painful metallic screeching. “It actually does walk,” gasped Twilight,”I didn’t think a thing like that would even move.” “Go, Pone Alone!” screamed Pinkie putting her hoof in the air. “Pinkie, we are here to make sure the Evanstallion are the ones that battle the angels, not this.” “But everypony seems so excited. I want Pone Alone to do its best. See, it heard me! It’s coming this way.” “What?!” The multicolored travesty began to march directly at the reception hall. Flim and Flam looked at each other nervously. The operators began scrambling to press buttons and pull different levers.   “Go Pone Alone! Woah,” Pinkie screamed. The robot shakily smashed through the building. Bricks and wood showered the occupants. Twilight quickly grabbed Pinkie with her magic and dragged her under the table. A purple haze told them her magic shield was actively defecting the debris.  The building fell around them, leaving one wall standing. The awkward robot turned and angrily knocked the last wall over too. “You need to shut this down, now,” shouted Twilight. “We’re trying, but all our spells aren’t working,” explained Flam. “This has never happened before,” whined Flim. “Yay, Pone Alone!” screamed Pinkie,”Go get ’em!” “Pinkie, the machine is going crazy,” explained Twilight. “Yeah let yourself go,” shouted Pinkie cheerily. “It’s going to hurt more ponies and then explode.” “Yeah, you hurt ponies and explode!” Pinkie’s shout turned to a look of confusion. “Wait, what?” “It’s out of control and heading towards that town we passed on the way in,” explained Twilight. “We can’t let that happen, Twilight! They have a school and a mall and cotton candy factory. No one destroys cotton candy except me. Mmm, cotton candy.” “We can’t stop it with the magic controls we have here,” shouted Flim. “Somepony has to go to it and shut it down from there,” instructed Flam. “I am on it,” shouted Pinkie. “But Pinkie, it’s dangerous. The magic in there could be hostile. Perhaps I should go,” pondered Twilight.  “Are you sure you can move fast enough to save the cotton candy, Twilight?” demanded Pinkie. “Send a message for Fluttershy to meet me out side in Unit-01.” *** Fluttershy’s necklace began to glow.  “Oh no,” she said to Gummy as she scrambled to the door. “An angel? And Twilight and Pinkie are gone. Oh dear.” The phone rang seconds later. Fluttershy answered it. “Hello?” “Fluttershy,” came Pinkie’s frantic voice. “I need you to take Unit-01 and gallop down here now!” “Umm I don’t know if I can do that. There is an angel. My necklace started glowing.” “That was me. We have a cotton candy emergency. I need you and Unit-01 here now!” “Cotton candy?” The phone went dead and Fluttershy flew toward headquarters. She arrived at headquarters to find a group of ponies in grey waiting for her. “We were informed of the emergency,” explained one of them. “Unit-01 is up and running for you.” Fluttershy nodded and flew to the awaiting Eva. She linked with it and took off running through the city. Luckily, Ponyville wasn’t too far and Fluttershy found her destination easily.  Pinkie was outside the venue, waving frantically. Fluttershy crouched the Eva down to get out, but Pinkie hopped on its head before she could move.  “Okay, let’s go, Fluttershy!” shouted Pinkie. “That cotton candy is not going to save itself.” “Where is this cotton candy?”, asked Fluttershy while she looked around.   “In that city over there, silly,” explained an exasperated Pinkie. “Now let’s go!” “Pinkie, wait!,” called out Twilight as the Eva trotted off in pursuit. *** Unit-01 ran through the landscape like a bullet. Pinkie inexplicably remained on its head, apparently unaffected by the sudden velocity. Pone Alone trotted along in the distance, and Fluttershy could see pieces of it littered all over the landscape.  “How is that thing still walking?” she thought to herself.  Most of the metal covering had fallen off, exposing its large metal gears. The head wobbled back and forth like a bobblehead doll. Fluttershy had to jump over one of its large metal ears.  “Faster, Fluttershy,” directed Pinkie as she pointed her hoof forward. “I need you to place me on that thing.” “Why? What are you going to do?” Fluttershy asked. “I don’t know yet. But for once I’m going to make something not explode.” “Explode?!” The Pone Alone started to slow down as one of the legs began to collapse.  Pinkie jumped on to Unit-01’s outstretched hoof and prepared to bounce on to the limping robot. As Fluttershy inched closer, Pone Alone began to show serious signs of collapse. As Pinkie flexed her legs, Pone Alone completely fell to pieces.  Its front legs continued to run on its spindly construction for a few seconds, then they also collapsed. The magical engine didn’t explode so much as pop. A little smoke leaked from it.  Pinkie watched with disappointment as her heroic moment became a scrap pile.  “I guess that’s one way to do it,” Pinkie sighed. “But at least the cotton candy is safe.” “And the town,” reminded Fluttershy.  “Right, them too.” Unit-01 returned to the Pone Alone headquarters. Twilight ran up to meet them.  “That’s what I was trying to tell you,” sighed Twilight. “I looked at the Pone Alone’s blueprints and realized it wasn’t made well enough to get very far. Also, because Flim and Flam skimped on the engine’s construction, there was no way it had enough juice to explode.” Flim and Flam cringed away from a crowd of angry looking ponies.  “So it looks like these two just took investors’ money and made it so shoddily that it was going to fall apart anyway,” explained Twilight. “Yes,” growled an irate Jack Pot. “We want our bits back. Right now.” The crowd grumbled at the shifty twins. They looked at each other and ran off, with the crowd of shocked investors chasing after them.  *** Fluttershy ate her favorite waffles with Gummy again. She loved the comfort of a routine, and worried that today Pinkie might again break the pattern. Pinkie’s bedroom door opened and a disheveled looking pink party pony emerged. She pounced on a large cake and sighed deeply.  “Oooh yeah. That’s the way to start the morning,” she sighed as her mane inflated.  Fluttershy idly watched her and gave a satisfied sigh herself. Her friends arrived, and she pushed them out the door before they could see the cake slathered party pony in such an indecent state. “Man, what ah wouldn’t give to wake up next to Pinkie Pie,” wistfully mused Applejack. Then caught her own words. She hastily added, “Her cupcakes. Her cupcakes. Cup cakes.” Applejack blushed. “Sure AJ, her ‘cupcakes,’ jeered Sunburst.  “Doh, consarn it,” said Applejack as she hid her face under her hat.  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” bemoaned Fluttershy. “Pinkie’s messy, inconsiderate, and sometimes really bossy. I mean, it can be kind of frustrating.” “Wow,” gasped Applejack. “Ya just don’ get it.” “What do you mean?” “She means you’re really lucky,” elaborated Sunburst. “Pinkie Pie shows you how she really is. Most of us just get a cupcake, but you get to see the true her. It’s like you’re family.” “I never thought of it that way,” gasped Fluttershy. Fluttershy wondered if Pinkie saw her differently than other ponies. Fluttershy had seen her constantly trying to entertain every other pony, but when it was just the two of them Pinkie was a little less exuberant. She relaxed more and seemed less pushy.  “And you get to wake up to Pinkie’s ‘cupcakes’ everyday,” teased Sunburst. “Consarn it,” a still-blushing Applejack repeated.  Sunburst and Fluttershy walked to school together, still joking and teasing Applejack.