It's safe to say Applejack was pretty peeved when she read our friend's messages. There were a lot of southern profanities, a classic hat toss, some pacing, which ended in a deep sigh into the couch.
I mean, they all promised they'd come, and they broke that promise. Plus, it was AJ's first time playing hostess. She had every right to be pissed.
"I just don't get it," I thought to myself as I let Applejack cool off.
"I thought I'd be the one to get on AJ's nerves tonight, not everyone else".
"Surely they wouldn't have promised something they couldn't deliver, right?".
My mind started racing through countless possibilities for our friend's strange behaviours. Loose Equestrian magic? Those Changeling things Princess Twilight told us about one time? A lame prank?
The list went on.
Although I felt super awkward alone with Applejack, I decided it was my duty, as a friend, to stay. Granny, Apple Bloom and Big Mac were out for the evening, so I wasn't about to leave her hanging.
"Well, one awesome Rainbow Dash makes up for five promise-breaking friends", I stated confidently, walking up to the couch.
"How 'bout we make the most of the evening, Apples?"
I took a seat next to my grumpy friend, hoping I could coax her into a better mood. I gave her my most awesome side smile, which soon turned into a puppy dog pout, complete with a whine.
Applejack let out a breathy laugh through her nose as she rolled her eyes; a usual occurrence around me, I've found.
"Fine, Dash. Like ya said, 'least you're here", AJ finally responded.
"Whaddaya wanna do? Or is that a dumb question?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
Reciprocating her eyebrow movement, I threw a games controller across the couch.
"Dumb question".
AJ caught the controller and sent a smirk my way. A competitive smirk. Man, how I loved that smirk.
"Tirek Vs Scorpan?" she asked without breaking eye contact.
"Pfft, like you had to ask!" I responded, already fumbling with the disc and the console.
I didn't wanna admit it at the time, but AJ absolutely creamed me during our gaming session. In fact, that's usually the case. I may be awesome at practically everything, but Applejack's the only one who gives me a run for my money. It hurts my ego to say, but her level of awesome trumps mine, tenfold.
"Well now, wouldja look at who's at the top of the board?" AJ taunted with a smug look on her face.
"Yeah yeah. I was going easy on you. Didn't wanna break your fragile ego" I responded, twirling the controller between my fingers.
"Mah fragile ego? Rainbow Dash, you'd throw a tantrum if somebody beat ya at dish washin'!"
"Hey, come on!" I retaliated.
"I mean, unless you're up for a-"
"We are not having a dish washin' contest, RD!" Applejack interrupted.
You know, it's funny. I sometimes love how she knows what I'm gonna say. I can't believe we spent all that time apart because of a stupid misunderstanding. Well, we can't change that now. And I suppose we're all better people for it.
Just as I was about to go in for a counter-attack, my stomach rumbled like crazy. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, we both looked at each other in confusion, trying to hold in our laughter. Clearly, we didn't try hard enough.
The second rumble came, and we burst into a fit of giggles.
"W-was that your stomach?" Applejack asked through her chuckles.
"Man, guess I forgot to eat lunch today" I admitted, looking down at my belly.
"Well, we best do somethin' about that", Applejack replied as she stood up from the couch.
"Ah'll whip up somethin' nice for us to eat, shall Ah?"
"Sounds perfect, AJ", I answered, taking out my phone.
With my eyes fixated on my phone's screen, I caught a glimpse of Applejack's hand through my peripherals. I let my eyes wander towards my friend who stood above me with an outstretched hand.
"Come on, Dash. Ah may be the cook around here, but Ah'll sure as sugar need help with the preppin'", she announced.
"Fine", I said internally, discarding my phone to the couch cushions and taking Applejack's hand in my own with reluctance.
"If ya can handle it, that is", the farm girl whispered with a hint of torment.
"Hey!" I shouted as I tugged on Applejack's hand, pulling her towards the couch.
I pinned her down with little effort, sat on her legs, and crossed my arms in victory.
I'll admit that it was a little more playful than I'd have liked.
Wait, what am I saying?
I love being playful with Applejack.
I felt a sudden redness in my cheeks as I noticed how close we'd become, so I huffed smugly to myself and gave a cunning grin.
"I can handle anything you throw at me, Apples".
Applejack sat up on her elbows as she tried to weasel her way from under me. She had an unnerving glint of confidence in her eyes.
"Anythin'?" she questioned, curling her lips and narrowing her eyes.
It shouldn't have phased me as much as it did. I mean, I'm more than used to Applejack's teasing, but there's something about that look that sends shivers down my spine.
"AJ, this is Rainbow Dash you're talking to! I can handle anything!" I replied all too brashly.
My bold attitude can save my ass in countless situations, but it never proves successful around Applejack. She's always got something better up her sleeve.
"Alrighty then, Ah guess you'll have no problem finding me a nice cookin' apple for some fritters, will ya?"
Okay. That one stumped me for sure.
I'm pretty sure she knows when I'm bullshitting her by now; the wide eyes and neck rubbing gives it away. But I always feel the need to prove I'm right, especially to AJ.
She gave a silent laugh as she watched me rub my neck nervously.
"Damn, I really need a new tell", I thought, retracting my hand swiftly.
"Go on then, sugarcube. Find me a nice cookin' apple, and we'll call it even", she continued with intensified fortitude.
"I have no idea what a cooking apple looks like" I monologued mentally.
"Are they the bigger apples, or the smaller apples?"
"What colour are they?"
"Are red and green the only colours?"
Pushing down my internal anxiety, I jumped up, doused myself in a confident facade, and made my way into the kitchen.
I tried to buy myself as much time as I could by sauntering instead of walking, but I realised early on that I looked like a total dork, so I swiftly changed it up.
I say swiftly. By that I mean I totally didn't almost, completely lose my balance and fall face-first onto the kitchen's tiles. Definitely not.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash. If ya could find me some Braeburn apples that'd be mighty helpful. They're the best for makin' fritters", Applejack added, her grin most likely growing with every syllable.
I cursed to myself as I rummaged around the kitchen, making a godawful racket as I did so.
"Jesus, I should know this kinda stuff by now!" I said under my breath, knowing full well that a Braeburn apple looked like any other apple to me.
I panicked, so I started hastily opening drawers and cabinets in the hope of finding a giant sign with an arrow that said "Braeburn". Funnily enough, the Apple Family didn't need signs to differentiate between apples, but it sure woulda been helpful in my situation!
"Urgh, for apple's sake! Why are there so many apples?!" I asked myself, albeit a little too loudly.
"Everythin' alright in there, RD?" came a voice from the living room.
Opening another cabinet after climbing onto the counter, I replied apprehensively.
"Uh- Everything's good. Just, you know, having a little trouble reaching the cabinets".
"Aw. Want me to getcha a ladder, short stack?"
Oh. That one really grinds my gears.
Even though Pinkie, Fluttershy and I are the same height, AJ constantly sees fit to remind me that I'm shorter than she is. It's the one thing she'll always have over me, quite literally.
Growing more and more aggravated, I scratched my head in both anger and confusion.
"Nope. Everything's fine, thank you" I replied with enunciation.
I continued my pursuit of the cooking apples, knowing in the back of my mind that I'd never find one. I mean, they all have the same purpose, right? You eat 'em. What's the big difference?
Eventually, even I had to admit it was a lost cause. And we all know how much I hate losing.
I sighed to myself, jumped down from the counter, and readied myself for Applejack's gloating.
"Um... AJ? Little help?"
Applejack found the cooking apples in less than a second, which didn't come as a surprise. I let the smug victory speech shower over me, focusing mainly on AJ's accent as she spoke. It sounds so... Safe. Lame, I know, but I could listen to her all day long.
"Anywho, enough chinwaggin'. We best get these fritters prepped and baked", Applejack announced, snapping me out of my own mind.
"Think ya can manage choppin' up a few apples, Dash?"
With my competitive tendencies kicking in, I grabbed a knife from the counter and tried my hand at a trick.
"Pfft, can I manage?" I mimicked sarcastically, almost dropping the knife in my overly confident state.
"Ah guess not" the farmer replied.
I rolled my eyes.
"Why do I always end up looking like an absolute loser around AJ?" I said to myself before picking up a few apples.
"Look, AJ. I may not know the difference between cooking apples and- Whatever the other ones are! But I can, for sure, chop up a few of these bad boys without a hitch!" I stated with false confidence.
"Fine. Just be careful, okay?" Applejack responded with sincerity.
In a lame attempt to regain my pride, I began to juggle the three apples in my, let's face it, tiny hands.
"Careful? I'm always careful", I assured her.
The fact that I dropped the apples all over the floor at that exact moment was completely coincidental.
"Respectfully disagree", replied Applejack.
As time elapsed, we were quite content with each other's silent company. I stood carefully cutting the apples, painfully aware that Applejack was most likely watching my every move. I'd messed up enough already, so I wanted to get something right.
Just as I'd started to get into the rhythm of chopping, I turned to see that Applejack had managed to get flour all over her nose.
It looked... Cute?
The small white grains surrounding her already freckled face looked, dare I say it, adorable.
"Adorable, huh? That's a new one", I thought.
With my body moving ahead of my mind, I ceased my task and gently brushed the flour away from Applejack's face.
My hand lingered around AJ's cheek a little longer than necessary, until I finally checked myself and played the whole thing off a little too casually.
"W-what was that for?" Applejack asked in an unusually taken aback tone.
Mortified at the somewhat intimate move I'd made on my friend, panic mode started to settle in.
"Uh. S-sorry, but you had a little bit of flour on your nose" I began nervously, trying not to let my tells rat me out.
"It's gone now. No biggie".
I turned back to the task at hand, when I felt a sudden puff of air followed by an assault of white powder.
Applejack had retaliated.
"Looks like you do too, Dash. No biggie", she teased as she adjusted her hat.
"Oh, come on! No fair!" I objected.
"I was doing you a favour, and now you've basically gone and declared a flour war!"
I tell you, the look on Applejack's face upon hearing those words was nothing short of amazing. The confidence, the readiness, the nose crinkle.
"War is it?" she asked rhetorically.
"Oh, it is so on, Snapple Juice!"
Picture a classic cowboy standoff, but with bags of flour.
It was cooler than it sounds...
I attacked first, throwing a handful of flour into Applejack's ponytail. She returned the compliment by aiming for my chest. It was a whole lot of back and forth for a while. That is, until it wasn't.
Instead of throwing flour across the counter, we'd gotten close enough to smear it into each other instead. The tactic was a lot more efficient, sure, but I started to feel nauseous whenever Applejack touched or grabbed me.
As she leant over me in pursuit of another assault, I caught a whiff of her scent. It was intoxicating, distracting, and downright awesome.
In my dreamy haze, I neglected to notice my opponent grab a large pan of water, which she proceeded to dump all over my floury head.
I'm sure Pinkie's mentioned it before, but you know what happens when you mix flour and water, right?
I looked on at Applejack in annoyance as the gooey mixture formed atop my head, causing her to emit a slight chuckle.
Seeing an opportunity, I quickly tackled my rival to the floor, catching her off guard.
I'm gonna be the bigger man here and admit that Applejack could easily beat me in a strength related contest, but having quick reflexes definitely goes in my favour in situations like this.
And then, a brilliant idea struck.
As Applejack fumbled around beneath me, I began my tickling tactic.
You'd think that, out of all of us, Pinkie would be the most ticklish, right?
Wrong!
Applejack is, by far, the most ticklish. It's hilarious, really.
She began to howl and squirm at every tiny touch I made to her stomach, which only made me want to continue.
"Do you concede?" I asked over her laughter.
"N-no!" she blurted out, still floundering underneath me.
"Y’know, you can forfeit the game, and I’ll stop with the tickling, but it’ll mean another win for Rainbow Dash!" I stated in passing, being careful not to let up.
"Urgh, fine! Just let me up, will ya?!" she finally said in defeat.
Man, it felt good to beat that farm chick at something! Even if that something was just a dumb-ass flour war.
I stood up and held out a hand for her, which she took hesitantly. I aided her to her feet with ease, but our hands remained entangled a lot longer than I'd intended.
"A cruel victory on my part, but a victory nonetheless", I teased, pulling Applejack closer with a sudden burst of courage.
She was close. Very close. Her breath began to mingle with my own. All I needed to do was lean in ever so slightly and-
"Huh, so what? If Ah knew tickling was on the cards, Ah’d have gone down that road first chance Ah got", Applejack responded in a huffy tone.
Guffawing at her comment, I put a hand on her shoulder and flashed a flirtatious smile her way.
"Heh, sure you would", I said with a wink.
What I hoped to accomplish with the smile and the wink, I couldn't tell you, but my body seemed to be running in overtime to the rest of me.
After finally prying my eyes away from AJ's emerald orbs, I noticed that we'd completely massacred the kitchen.
"Oh man! Check this place out!" I said as I gestured to the room.
"Ah better get this cleaned up. Lemme put these here fritters in the oven and Ah’ll get to work", Applejack responded as she carried the tray towards the oven.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" I began, darting in front of the cowgirl.
"There's no way you're cleaning this up on your own, AJ".
After nudging me away from the oven, she sighed to herself and put the fritters inside.
"No worries, Dash. Ah'll be just fine", she told me with assurance.
So, in defiance, I grabbed a nearby towel and smacked her playfully with it.
"I wasn't asking, dumbass", I answered as I began to wipe the flour from the counter.
~ Meanwhile, at Rarity's house ~
"Oh my, we haven't heard from either of them in a while", Fluttershy acknowledged anxiously.
"Are you sure this was a good idea, Rarity?"
The purple-haired fashionista looked up from her newly applied manicure and huffed.
"But of course, darling. We all agreed this was the only way to get them on their own in the right setting", she responded.
"I dunno, Rarity", Sunset chimed in.
"I want them to get their act together as much as you do, but is lying to our friends really the only way to do it?"
"I concur with Sunset. However, the math checks out", Twilight lectured.
"With Applejack and Rainbow Dash's busy schedules, besides school, they barely see each other. And with the rest of the Apples away for the evening, it was too good an opportunity to miss".
The five friends nodded in unison.
They hated lying to their friends, especially Applejack, who valued honesty over almost everything.
"Oh boy, I can't wait for them to finally be an item!" Pinkie Pie squealed.
"If they become an item, Pinkie dearest", Rarity added.
"If I know Rainbow Dash and Applejack, they're bound to ruin our plan in some way, shape or form".
"I wouldn't lose all hope yet, Rare", Sunset replied.
"I agree. Although they're two of the most oblivious people when it comes to noticing a romantic attraction, I'm sure they'll figure something out", added Twilight.
Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie stared blankly at their two friends, prompting a look between Sunset and Twilight.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"Maybe not the most oblivious couple, darlings", Rarity replied dryly.