//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5 : Supersonic Steel Slug Solution 
// Story: Gunner in the Works 
// by Hyperaggressive Porridge 
//------------------------------//

Twilight breathed in with a full chest and smiled.
Fluttershy's cottage always seemed so peaceful, so in-tune with it's natural surroundings, that merely passing by the meadow filled one with relaxation and brought the peace of mind.

Twilight happily creaked the front door open.

She was greeted by a sight that made her blood chill and her skin crawl.

In the dead center of the room stood Dave. Which wasn't all that particularly terrifying, if not for a little detail. He was covered head to toe in various bugs. 

Myriads of moving bugs.

Twilight found herself unable to pry her gaze from the crawling carpet coating Dave, consisting of endless spiders, millipedes, pill bugs, crickets, mantises, wasps, stag beetles, stick bugs, butterflies, house centipedes...
Her face twitched, reflexively trying to contort into a expression of revulsion, but her brain was too occupied going into overload attempting to process every single arthropod specie that was present clinging on to Dave's clothing.

To drive the last nail into the coffin of sanity, Dave was giggling with this childish glee while toying with them and calling them cute and adorable.

Suddenly the human locked his eyes with Twilight, ruining her hopes of quietly backing out of this nightmare unseen.
"I-I think I... will check in on you... l-later," she stammered out, eyes still big as dessert plates.

The door nearly slammed shut, but slowed down at the very last moment, closing with a quiet click.

"What was that about?" Dave said to no-one in particular.

Fuzzy spider perched on his sleeve raised first pair of legs in a shrug.

Fluttershy peeked in the room with curious expression on her muzzle.
"Did I hear, um, Twilight's voice?"

Dave nodded carefully as to not shake off anyone off his head.
"She suddenly left. I don't know what her deal was."

He returned to administering tiny pats and abdomen-rubs and the look of slight concern on his face dissolved into glowing giddiness once again. 
"But anyway - it was absolutely wonderful - not to mention therapeutic - to pet appreciative chitinous friends of yours. Where I come from I'd be bitten and stung like a million times already!"

Dave gave Fluttershy a big, warm smile full of elation.
"Thank you, Fluttershy."

Flustered pegasus looked away with a modest smile.

It all started innocently enough, with holding and petting a fluffy spider, and then mantises apparently expressed desire to join in on the fun to Fluttershy, and it all quickly went downhill from there. Not that Dave complained - he'd gladly play with bugs as long as they behaved. Heck, even if they didn't!

Dave slowly rotated wrist and peered at the watch.
"Holy guacamole, time sure flies! I'd love to dandle the cutie crawlies some more, but I'm expecting a big delivery today, and it should arrive very very soon. Please help me untangle everyone safely."





"Eat yo heart out, Amazon! Call back when you can quadcopter THIS!"

Dave had to admit, he was thoroughly impressed. He definitely did not expect the lathe and other machines to be air-delivered via a squadron of pegasi. Their trip took longer than expected due to particularly nasty black cloud, but otherwise entire thing went without a hitch.

Dave dove into new machinery, self-indulgently inspecting shiny purchases, hooking them up to power and oiling this and that.

Arrival of new instruments was something Dave really looked forward last few days, to the point that he couldn't sit, stay or lay still. It didn't help that last few days were just so bland.

Well, outside of two incidents.

First being Pinkie kicking down workshop door and declaring that Dave is not to move anywhere because party is underway. Nobody warned him about "New in town" party shtick and apparently Dave managed to virtuously evade the pink party mastermind at least three consecutive times by being sneaky, switching locations, and even using other parties for cover. In Pinkie's words. Still, it was nice to goof off for a bit, even though Twilight was at it again, this time trying to grab Dave's saliva samples sneakily.

Second incident was less crowded but in no way less awkward.
It all began with his guilty conscience rearing it's ugly head once again, demanding him to do something about his debt to Rarity, and that particular day seemed as good as any.

But it was not meant to be, as his visit to Carousel Boutique to see if local fashionista needed any help was relentlessly derailed from get-go.

"Sweet Celestia! What is that on your face?!" Rarity raised a forehoof to her head and dramatically fainted on one of her ubiquitous fancy sofas.

Slightly panicked, Dave ran his hands across his face to feel for abnormalities. Only one thing stood out as new.
"That's a beard."

Recovering surprisingly quickly from the faint, Rarity looked at him with equal measures of worry and confusion.

Dave elaborated, "Look. Humans grow facial hair. Some faster than others. I'm on the faster side."

Rarity continued batting eyes at him, as if he was missing some obvious point.

Dave stroked unruly hair on his chin, "What, you think I should shave it? No way! I'm trying to grow some respectable beard 'n' 'stache here! Even Spike is envious of my progress, dunno why, but he sure is!"

The mysterious silence card got played once again by Rarity as she scanned him up and down. Was she also upset at him for getting clothes elsewhere or something?

Unable to take any more of silent sass, Dave threw hands up in exasperation and exited the shop.

Well, that visit went swimmingly. And he forgot to offer help, to boot!
Now thinking back to it, few last days weren't that bland, but boredom teaming up with waiting for something sure could dilate your perception of time to heck and back.

Dave picked up closest shiny metal part, trying to make out his reflection. Was his beard really that bad?

Unsatisfied with visual inspection, Dave mumbled, "Probably should shave before the visit to Princesses."
Speaking of which - he should probably check in with Twilight, and also ask her how the Royal appointment papers are going.





It was uncharacteristically loud in the library - the gang was all here, discussing something very actively. Dash aggressively zipped around, clearly agitated.

Clearing throat to get attention, Dave greeted everypony and declared the goal of his intrusion with his usual straightforwardness.
"'Sup, gang! I just popped in to ask how the papers are going."

"The papers? Oh, right... the papers." Twilight's eyes got shifty all of a sudden.

It goes without saying that papers did not even exist in reality, and it was just a thing she came on the spot to... well, keep Dave in place. Who knew that he'd leave the observation zone by other means? Why did she even think that this little lie wouldn't come up later? The human definitely wanted to return home, and now was intently watched her, expecting answer that she couldn't give.

The help came in form of Applejack.
"Sorry, Dave, but we've got a Dragon problem on our hooves."

Thankfully that seemed to divert Dave's attention.
"A dragon problem? Did Spike set the library on fire again?"

That remark earned him a glare from Twilight. Oh, right. He wasn't supposed to mention Spike's recent coughing mishap. Whoops.

Completely oblivious to Twilight's reaction, Applejack continued, "No, no. There's a huge dragon snorin' up a cloud of ash. We need to get him to do lil' bit of relocatin', is all."

Dave mentally went over the news. Huge dragon. Relocating. Well, that can only end in tears. But more likely, ashes.

So he put on a facade of enthusiasm.
"Dragon, you say? I'm coming with you! I always wanted to see a real dragon."
Spike would probably take offense at that but he was nowhere to be seen. But just in case Dave added, "Big, huge dragon, like, with wings and stuff. By the way, how big are we talking about, here?"

Dash swooped down to Dave's eye level, her forehooves crossed, "Well, duh! He produced all this smoke, so at least as big as a house!"

That arrangement didn't sit well with Twilight. After all, this task was given by Celestia to all six of them for a reason.
"Are you sure you want to come?"

"Of course I'm sure, I'll just be careful and stand out of harm's way. Besides, you have a plan, don't you?"

"Yeah... A plan..." She dragged in not very convincing manner.

With a whip of left hand, Dave checked his wristwatch.
"Great! Listen, I've some errands to run, how much time till we move out?"

"We'll meet back here in less than an hour."





Dave did some quick calculations in his head. No, just a gun wouldn't be enough. What would be enough, then? 

The answer was, naturally, more gun.

He quickly caught up with pink mare bouncing merrily ahead of him.
"Pinkie! I need your help!"

Pinke slowed down and faced Dave, still bouncing up and down excitedly.
"Of course, Dave!"

"You see, I need to know where I can buy fireworks and helium. Know a good place?"

Pinkie stopped bouncing, freezing in midair with confused expression. Dave to the best of his abilities tried to ignore this blatant disregard for laws of physics.

"Helium?"

"Yes, the gas that's used to make balloons float and if you breathe it in, it makes your voice all squeaky and funny."

Pinkie's face lit up and she resumed bouncing.
"Oh! It's in the party supplies shop just around that corner! Same as fireworks!"

"Thank you, Pinkie, you're a life-saver!"

Pinkie raised her hoof in educative gesture,
"What can I say, with party planning, you've got to be prepared!"

Hearing no response, Pinkie looked around confusedly, but Dave had already vanished.





Dave's loud complaints bounced around the workshop.
"They want to evict a dragon. A flippin' dragon! Huge honkin' flame-breathin' dragon!"

They were like kids, absolutely secure in thought that nothing bad is going to happen to them and that things will work out, somehow. 
For a moment Dave balked at aptness of comparison.
Innocent. That's the thing! They weren't privy to solving their problems with violence, and didn't really expect to encounter it either!

He switched the lathe power on. It was time to make something very deadly.

But him getting back into his true medium was yet another problem. He still needed to stay on the good side of local populace and generally avoid showing himself in... negative light. 
Last thing they needed to know was that Dave could very well be described as deathmonger, constructing and peddling instruments fine-tuned to make killing fast, easy, convenient and, worst of all, horribly efficient. 

Dave scoffed. That last thought sounded a bit too much like comments he used to get from certain parts of his extensive family.

The whole situation was bogus - it was playing helpless gentle doormat versus saving their lives.

"Well, I can't just let them go get themselves killed," he reasoned out loud.

Technically, the problem could work out on it's own. From what he could gather, they were some sort of local heroes. Surely Twilight had some plan. They couldn't be this recklessly suicidal, could they? No, they must have some sort of ace up their sleeve.
An in case they don't, well...

Dave looked at threading that slowly appeared on rapidly rotating piece of steel pipe.

There were options.





Dave showed up lugging some strange contraption. It looked like a long pipe, about as thick as a hoof, connected to the center of a long metal drum, slightly thicker than the pipe. Two really inconvenient-looking handles were attached to it. The whole thing swayed back and forth, attached to his back by a long belt.
Was it some sort of his new invention?

Dash smirked. Just another thing Ponyville desperately needed, a crazy inventor of all things wacky. It was pretty gutsy of him to go into Everfree all alone, though, she had to give him that. Gutsy for an egghead, that is.

Dave himself looked even scruffier than usual, covered in some machine oil stains; a pair of ear defenders swung on his neck.

The rest of the gang pulled up rather quickly.
And not a moment too soon, as Dave was getting tired of shuffling around, balancing his steel burden. There was actually nothing preventing monstrous steel slug from just sliding out of the barrel, so Dave constantly reminded himself to hold the contraption in certain manner to prevent exactly that. The awkward shuffling didn't go unnoticed by Twilight, who inquired about the device immediately.

"Oh, that. It's a special tool I made that may come in handy. Or maybe not..."
Every word technically true, just the way Dave liked it. Playing dumb was the best strategy for now.

Strangely enough, this explanation satisfied Twilight, and she returned her gaze to the map. Well, it was a relief that dealing with dragon squatter came higher on list of priorities than pestering Dave with really inconvenient questions.

Dave glanced in the direction of their upcoming trip, estimating the distance.
Hold the phone. It has only now hit him that smoke was emanating from almost a needle-like mountain with it's top stuck somewhere in clouds.
They were going to climb that?
"Dang it! Twilight, you could've mentioned the whole mountain-climbing thing earlier, I'd at least pack rope with me!"

"Aha," came her answer in the most bland and detached tone imaginable. 

"Ugh, forget you." 
Dave turned away with a wince, as his hand found itself being magnetically attracted to his forehead. This was already shaping up to be a terrible trip.

Soft whimpering snapped him out of it.

It was Fluttershy, huddled up on the ground, trembling. Every audible mention of a dragon made her visibly shrink and whimper again.
Apparently only she understood full implications of delivering eviction order to a giant fire-breathing reptile.

The sight of frightened little ball of yellow fur and feathers would leave only coldest hearts indifferent.
Dang it, Dave! You can't just bear down on Fluttershy, cradle and console her just because she got a little scared. Show some poise! Keep your composure!

A second later he was gently stroking yellow fur, comforting Fluttershy and assuring her that's it's going to be okay.
Trembling subsided but Fluttershy still looked like she was going to have a heart attack any second.





Dave blew on his pained fingers and reached for another crevice, grumbling.
"Are they part mountain goats or something? I can barely climb an incline so steep and they walk up like it's no big deal! My simian heritage just ain't doing me any favors today."

Colored figures shuffled somewhere above, steadily growing smaller, while he barely made it ten meters off the ground. The one-shot wonder hanging off his back didn't really help either.
Thankfully he bet everything on said one-shot wonder and didn't put on the armor. Besides, armor would be extra-suspicious, and admittedly wouldn't save against a sustained fire breath.

Every now and then guttural noise which Dave presumed to be a dragon's snore rocked the entire mountain.

Suddenly the voices came from above.
"Yeah, I'm okay, still climbing! It's a bit steep, but I'll be there!" Yelled back Dave, and then added quietly, "Eventually."

Incoming scraping noise made Dave look up in caution. A second later Applejack whizzed past him, sliding down the cliff-face completely nonchalantly. Upon successful landing she started pulling someone out of the bushes. That someone turned out to be Fluttershy, who hid in the bushes instead of climbing all this time - a wise decision, all things considered.

Now that pegasus' cover has been blown, Applejack was looking straight at Dave.
"Hey, get down from there! We'll take another way, 'round the mountain."

Fine, so be it. Dave carefully returned to the firm ground.

"So, lead the way."

Another, particularly thunderous snore rumbled the environments and Fluttershy fell over, all four legs locked up in air and her eyes firmly set in rough direction of constellation of Orion.
No, they definitely were part goats. What was the name of that subspecies of goats that tended to freeze up when scared again?

With a sigh, Applejack picked up pink tail in jaws.

"Dang it, Applejack, you're just going to drag her through the mud and rocks like that?"

Applejack spat out tail and retorted, "Hey, 's not like I have much options here, do I?"

"I guess I'll have to take matters in my hands then..."



 

Procession emerged from behind the rocks, with Applejack leading the way and Dave following, cradling Fluttershy in his hands and rocking slightly under combined weight of a mare and metal device. Fluttershy's fear-induced paralysis still hasn't worn off fully, but at least her two-thousand yard stare was gone.

"Somebody, help me, dang it! I can barely feel my hands!"

Dash helped getting Fluttershy back on her feet, while Dave shook his arms around, trying to get feeling back in them. Pins and needles indicated that feeling will soon return to numbed fingers. The day definitely didn't intend on getting any easier.

One avalanche and one trivial but potentially deadly jump later, the source of dark smoke revealed itself - a moderate entrance to a cavern with thick, almost viscous clouds seeping out. 

On the final stretch to the cave the smoke grew progressively heavier, and Dave couldn't help but liken it to ash clouds produced by volcano eruptions.

"Dang, this smoke is thick! Try avoiding breathing it in!"
Dave pulled the collar of his shirt over his nose and pressed fabric down with a hand.
"It might be dangerous."

"Dangerous how?" Mumbled Twilight from under the hoof covering her nose and mouth.

"Depends on what this smoke is. It could range wildly from being just abrasive particulate to being toxic and producing acid rains," came the no-less-mumbly response. "Well, in either case, smallest animals would be first to feel the negative effects. First ones would probably be birds with fastest metabolism, so if you see birds dropping out of the trees, you know it's time to LEAVE."

Dave couldn't see it, but Fluttershy's complexion quickly approached that of a paper.

Dave was about to mention watching out for passed out animals on the ground as a sign of creeping clouds of suffocating gases, but decided that it'd be too morbid. Besides, it was a dragon, not a friggin' volcano.

Having reached the small area directly in front of the maw of the cave, ponies huddled up and considered next course of action.

Tuning out the hubbub from the rest of Team Dragon Eviction Notice, Dave found a shady place to lean in some rocks and half-shut eyes to concentrate on possible ways to approach this situation.

Ideally he would like to either avoid the whole reptilian perforation business or do the dirty deed unseen. Otherwise it would get messy. How do you even headshot something a size of a house in a discreet manner? Like, without creating a crimson shower for everyone in the vicinity. Hmmm. 'I killed the dragon and now it's raining blood' would be a badass Death Metal band name! No, dang it, Dave, got to snap out of it, concentrate!

If Twilight had a plan, it'd be a great time to voice it. Dave looked around, but Twilight was nowhere to be seen.

Oh crap. 

Did she go inside, all alone? Was she stark-raving mad? What happened to 'safety in numbers'? 

Well, she wasn't there with the group anymore, and there weren't many possibilities for her to vanish.

Dave jabbed a finger at the the remaining group.
"All of you, stay here. I'm going in."

Hoisting up his contraption, he disappeared into the cave entrance.

It was hazy in the cave, but Twilight's silhouette approaching him was immediately recognizable. Which was a huge weight off Dave's shoulders.

"I tried asking, but he just wouldn't listen..."

"Let me try my hand at persuasion. Oh, and you all better plug your ears, this is going to be loud."

Twilight tilted her head, "Loud?"

Dave just gestured at her to go.





It was roughly a minute since Dave went deeper into the cave, and it was awfully quiet since then.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," mumbled Twilight, hooves still over ears.

But then, as if in response to her words, entire mountain shook with roar of angered dragon. The deafening roar was cut short by even louder thundering crack.

With a clang, the Dave's device flew out of the entrance, bounced off a cliff-face and rolled a bit before coming to a halt against a rock. Dash audibly gulped.
Much to everypony's relief Dave energetically walked out of the cave, unscathed. Not saying a thing, he made a beeline for the metallic cylinder contraption and casually hauled it back to cave.

Uneasy quiet reigned once again. 

Finally, the dragon waddled outside. Dave followed him closely, waving the pipe thing around and hurrying the dragon along.
"Outta here, big boy! Come on, take your stuff and leave, before I banana-slap you into the next century!"

Finding the purple pony that bothered him not so long ago, dragon addressed her, pointing a claw towards the human.
"Why this one is being so mean?"

Seriously now, the dragon was going to complain to bunch of ponies about him? What is this, kindergarten?

Fluttershy landed on the dragon's nose, wing still flaring up in agitation.
"Because smoke your snoring produces is spreading across Equestria, already endangering innocent little creatures, and soon-"

"Yeah, Fluttershy, you can take him from here."
Wait, what? Dave did a double-take. Was Fluttershy - the timidness herself - telling off a dragon? Today is already went all sorts of weird, best not to dwell on it too much.
Laws of physics leaving for a smoke break, ponies climbing cliffs like goat-spiders, supersonic steel slugs veering off course wildly...

The sound of massive wings flapping returned Dave to reality.
"Eh, and the dragon was less cooler than I expected..."

He clapped his hands, making still-angry Fluttershy jump.
"Alright, let's get back to Ponyville, we still have to rinse this soot off everything!"





Trek down was much easier, and much more cheerful than uphill struggle. Dave merrily whistled some tune, and the pipe contraption rhythmically swung on his back, freshly reattached handles dangling in the air.

Trouble came from the least expected side. Applejack making small-talk.
"So, Dave, how'd you 'persuade' dragon anyway?"

Twilight's ears immediately turned to him, like a pair of radars.

"Ah, well..." Dave's eyes shifted frantically.

Uh-oh. Well, there goes my big softie facade now. Could still try talking my way out of the issue, however.
"I'm not quite sure myself..."
Ah! Technical truth, the best kind of truth.

"Dave, can you tell me more about that tool you've made and it's role in persuasion?" Twilight asked, levitating a quill and piece of parchment in front of her. Twilight packing writing implements didn't even surprise Dave at this point.

So, playing the fool again. Dave pulled on doofy smile.
"What do you want to know?"





Twilight was practically fuming - about an hour of questions, cross-checking and scrutiny, and she wasn't getting anywhere. Figuratively speaking, as during that time they most definitely have already reached the outskirts of the town.

It was hard for Dave to keep straight face and hold back the laughter, even though his reputation and quite possibly nearest prospects were hanging in the balance.

Brushing with mathematicians definitely had it's perks - especially in form of picking up an infuriating skill of providing answers that were as correct as they were useless. Completely. That, coupled with dumb but effective tactic of providing truthful answer, but to a slightly different question, let Dave send Twilight on a wild goose chase for entirety of the trip back. Plus, occasional remarks and questions from Rarity and Applejack, but especially Pinkie tended to derail Twilight's train of thought, making it almost too easy.

Not understanding how situation resolved itself appeared to irritate pedantic unicorn immensely.
"You're answering my questions, but that's not what I want to hear!"

Dave grinned on the inside. Twilight walked straight into that one.
"Can you stop and ponder what you just said for a second, Twilight? How then am I supposed to respond to your questions? Am I supposed to sing and do a little jig?"

Twilight just groaned in frustration.
Getting to the bottom of things with this human was way harder than one would expect. How could he even remain so obfuscating and obstructive while providing detailed answers to her questions? Annnd, he's gone. Great.





Dave tossed and turned in bed.

This was stupid. This entire day was stupid and very rife with ways to get dead quick. But, in the end, he was still alive, as well as the gang, heck, even dragon got off scot-free.

Still, one thing kept bothering Dave. With some effort memories of the moment were summoned.

As one would expect, Mr. Dragon didn't like the sound of the "you're being evicted" news. Ear defenders helped, but the roar was so loud that you could hear it through the bone and tissue anyway.

Dave barely remembered aiming outside of catching an eye within sights and pressing the trigger. The following moments, in contrast, imprinted themselves in memory with perfect clarity.

Dave just peered at the handles that remained in his hand, stupefied.

It wasn't the lack of his gun that puzzled him. If anything, handles disengaged as planned, letting the bulk of the gun take the insane recoil with itself.

It was the aftermath of the shot. He expected a lot of possible outcomes - red mist, gray matter shower, perhaps a Krönlein shot? Or gun simply exploding, reducing him to consistency of a chunky salsa.

Instead dragon winced, ducked his head and clutched his ear-holes with claws, as sizable rocks fell down, giving him a bonk every once in a while. With every stone hit dragon lowered his head lower and lower until it was planted firmly on the ground.

Then, riding the wave of gutsy inspiration, Dave found himself scrambling for gun once again and lugging it to the dragon, who still cowered, expecting more rocks to fall.

Holding the monstrous gun under the arm, Dave pressed still-warm barrel against the scaly nose of a dragon.

"You. Outta here. NOW."

Facing the horribly loud gun the second time, Mr. Dragon was way more amenable. It really helped that he didn't realize that said gun could only shoot once.
And the rest, as they say, was history. 

But there was one piece that didn't fit the puzzle.

What the heck happened to the slug? The shot somehow went into the cave's ceiling... Dave was one hundred percent sure that he co-axially aligned sights with barrel, and the sights were no less meticulously aligned with dragon's eye. The slug still somehow magically missed.

Was there magic involved?
Dave grasped his bearded chin.

Unlikely. What about other reasons?

Lack of rifling wouldn't even matter here - distance's too short and muzzle velocity was supposed to be in ballpark of several thousands of feet per second. It simply couldn't veer off course. 

Perhaps his arms just twitched when he pulled the trigger...

Well, either that or dragons here could deflect steel projectiles going at, like, Mach 5 with their eyelids or something.



 

The night didn't bring the much-needed rest.

"Ugh, great. More blurry unsubstantial nightmares with feeling of being watched." Dave yawned and shook his fist at ceiling, "At least gimme some real nightmares so I can rip 'em to shreds..."

Perhaps it was time to check out how good their local coffee is. Oh right, he didn't find it on the last shopping run.

Do ponies even have coffee? On one hand, it'd be a fast-track to horrible theobromine poisoning, but on the other hand, Dave definitely saw Pinkie ingest borderline unhealthy amount of chocolate with no adverse effects, however, on the third hand, it was Pinkie, the Party Incarnate who seemed to operate exclusively on sweets, so all bets were off.

Whatever. Tea will also do. Weren't tea leaves more caffeine-rich than coffee beans? Strong tea it is, then.

Fueled up on the searing-hot rejuvenating juice, Dave cheered up considerably and rubbed hands in excitement.

It was time to try out some ideas from yesterday that he didn't have time for.





"MWAHAHAHAAHA!" cackled Dave evilly, raising his hands towards the ceiling.
Lightning illuminated the workshop, and soon enough the rolling thunder reverberated through the building.

"Okay, that's another bullet point off my bucket list. 'Laugh like a mad scientist in a thunderstorm', check!"

Dave tapped on checkbox on the phone and kicked back on sofa. It was barely past midday, results of his successful experiments proudly sat on coffee table and now boredom started to settle in. Sure, he could watch one of movies stored on the phone, but at the moment he craved something more... interactive. Sadly, all of Dave's favorites in this regard were left behind on his laptop, which, in order, was also left behind, residing who-knows-how-many parallel universes away from him right now.
"Shoot! Could definitely go for a few rounds in one-point-six... Oh, what am I saying, no way I'd be able to connect to internet from here." 

Indeed, even if he had laptop, he could forget about his typical pastime of non-stop fragging in online shooters. Unless someone figured out how to route TCP/IP through dimensions, that is.

Dave shifted to a more comfortable position. Thunderstorm outside grew more furious by the minute, with raindrops fiercely drumming against glass and metal.

Well, if resting on his terms was not an option, then he at least could be productive. He mentally unfurled giant scroll of practical problems requiring solution.
Since when it became a scroll? Twilight's way of thinking definitely rubbed off on him.

"Let's see..."

Scour town to get coffee or at least some sort of cocoa beverage. Sure, but not in this weather. The drink of gods would have to wait.

Find a way to repay Rarity's kindness. Again, not in this weather.

Figure out some sort of protection. This one was interesting. 
There was certain source of disquiet in the knowledge that one third of local population could end Dave in a single kick. The second third wouldn't be able to fry him directly, per se, but they surely could just drop a boulder on him just as well. Dave wasn't sure about pegasi but they probably could do their own brand of nasty, too. The only saving grace is that mere thought of doing any of these acts would scare your average pony to half-death.

And that's just ponies - today's encounter clearly showed that there were much bigger threats lurking about.

While offense may have been lauded as best defense, no military power was in a hurry to get rid of armor. 
Dave gave a set of armor in the corner a stink-eye. The dang thing was heavy and very clunky, but it got the job done. 

The blunt strikes would still be dangerous, unless he mounted armor on some kind of very rigid chassis.

"Hmmm, maybe a tank?"
Imagination quickly conjured image of tank getting crumpled by magic like paper. With Dave still inside.
"Yeeesh!" He chased away the nasty visage, "Okay, any sort of armored vehicle is out of the question."

He looked at his hands as if trying to gauge the size of invisible magic-messup field he for some reason had.
"Unless... Hmmm..."

It was silly. It was impractical. It was an idea that he'd previously laugh at, along with any engineer worth their salt within earshot. It was also freakin' awesome.
He whipped out paper and got to drawing, grinning ear-to-ear.