//------------------------------// // Results I: World Enough (Part 2) // Story: Excitement = Twilight * Death^2 // by Needling Haystacks //------------------------------// Sunset plus Twilight squared1 arrived in Ponyville a bit later in the day. Twilight was all prepared to make a death-induced trip to the dragon lands, but Spike stopped her and said they should check outside first. Outside the castle was Pinkie Pie's stand, formerly of funeral cakes, but it had changed. Whereas before it had read 'Twilight's dead but not really so let's all eat cake', to that had been appended in increasingly small and scrawled letters "Also information on all the Twilight corpses lying around", and then the entire thing had been crossed out in read. On top of it had been placed a new, carboard sign reading 'Alicorn Enterprises, LLC'. Though they couldn't see it until they got closer, in small print below it was written'"A division of Barnyard Bargains, inc.' Maning (pony-ing? creature-ing?) the booth was one Gabby Griffon. "Oh hi guys!" Gabby said brightly,2 "Hi Spike! Are you here to try some before they're shipped out? Wait, do ponies eat meat? I think someone told me they did, but I don't spend that much time around ponies, you know?" "Um, hi," Twilight 1 said, approaching first as the one most concerned with this. "What is this?" "Oh you didn't know?" Gabby said, "Filthy Rich heard from Grandpa Gruff, and said we had to move fast before your bodies rotted too much to be used! Good thing Griffons can eat carrion, huh?"* "I guess it is. Is Filthy Rich making money off of the deal?" Twilight 1 asked. "I dunno," Gabby said with a shrug, "He's paying me so I guess he must! I'd have helped for free, but Grandpa Gruff said it was part of the deal!"3 Seeing her counterpart's disturbed look, Twilight A cut in. "Do you want to go deal with that? It sounds like he's dealing fair but you should really have a say in it," she said. "Oh, hey, I didn't know you had a twin sister, Twilight!" Gabby said. "Alternate dimensional counterpart," Sunset said by way of explanation. Gabby tapped the bottom of her beak with her claw. "Oh yeah, I remember Spike telling me about how he was a dog in another dimension," she said, "Does this mean I have a counterpart-sister, too?! And if I do, can I meet her?" This caught the trio slightly off guard. Sunset, who had spent the most time on this sort of thing, spoke up first. "I'm not sure. Not everyone has a counterpart, and most that do seem to be ponies over here." "Aww," Gabby said, crestfallen. But she quickly recovered. "Oh well, I guess that makes me even more special! Ooh, but if you do find another me, you'll let me know, right?" "Of course!" Spike said. "Ok ponies... people... and dragon... Sunset and I will to talk to Filthy Rich. You two check in with Nurse Redheart," Twilight 1 said, gesturing in the appropriate directions, "Spike, show the other Twilight where Nurse Redheart is. And make sure to explain that she's not me. We'll meet at Donut Joe's in an hour." "Got it," Spike said, standing up straight and saluting. He waved at Gabby. "Later, Gabby!" "Later Spike!" Gabby said brightly, waving back. ********************************************************* Spike and Twilight A (for Alternate, though that was not how she thought of it) went to the Ponyville Clinic, held up by occasional explanations to confused passerby. And again by explanations to Nurse Redheart that Twilight 1 had neglected. "A renewable source of organ transplants is certainly a boon," Nurse Redheart said one she understood, "But there's a problem..." "Alicorn organs incompatible?" Twilight A guessed. "Not exactly,"Nurse Redheart said, consulting a clipboard4, "It's that Twilight's blood type is AB positive. Most patients will reject her organs." "What? But she was Type O positive, same as me," Twilight A said, "Unless... her changing species changed her blood type?" "That's what we think," Nurse Redheart said with a nod, "We have her records from Canterlot, and she was definitely O positive before, but she definitely isn't now." Twilight A sighed. "So it's not ideal, but surely with her resources she can figure out how to distribute spare organs to those who can use them." "I'm sure Princess Celestia can figure out something," Nurse Redheart said. Which Twilight and Spike both thought was a bit of a jab. "But organ transplants aren't all that common," she continued." "Hmmm, because of magic?" Twilight A said thoughtfully. Nurse Redheart seemed surprised. "Oh, right, you don't have magic in your world," she said, "Well yes, to elaborate, we can often call in a unicorn or a potions expert to heal minor organ damage or restore function from certain types of failure." "So doubly reduced," Twilight A said with a sigh, "Alright, thank you for your hard work. I suppose we'd better meet with the other Twilight." "Wait, there was one more thing," Nurse Redheart said, flipping to another page, "Is Princess Twilight brainless?" Twilight A was shocked. "What?" "Oh, sorry, I don't mean that as an insult. I mean, does she physically lack a brain?" "Ummm... I don't think so but I can't say for sure," Twilight A said, "Spike?" "Not as far as I know," Spike said, "Why do you ask?" "Well, the... sample... she sent us has no brain," Redheart said, flipping the clipboard around for the others to see. On the picture was a carefully-cropped display of a pony head with the top of the skull missing. It was, in fact, empty. "Hmmm," Twilight A said as she stared at the picture intently. "I suppose she'd need an MRI or whatever the magical equivalence is to be sure, but maybe her brain turns to magic when she respawns? Or maybe it already is magic and so it's not a physical organ?" "Ask her to come by and we'll sort it out," Redheart said, flipping the clipboard back to the first page. "Alright, we'll be going then," Twilight A said. *********************************************************** On the walk over to Donut Joe's, Spike and Twilight A started talking. "You know it's kind of weird you not being a dog," Twilight A said. "Oh so there's one of me over there?" Spike said, "I guess it makes sense that he'd be a dog." "I should bring him over next time, see if he becomes a dog here," Twilight A said, "Come to think of it, I wonder what would happen to a Griffon in the portal? Or a changeling?" "Huh... I hadn't thought about it," Spike said, "Oh, by the way, you called my Twilight 'Other Twilight' back there. I thought you had settled on 'Twilight 1'?" "Y-es, but it occured to me that might be confusing in a paper," Twilight A said, "And Dr. Turner says confusing your reader is a good way to get a journal to reject your paper." "Huh, so what should we use?" "Maybe Twilight H and Twilight P? H for Human and P for Pony?" Twilight A or possibly H said. "What about A for alicorn?" Spike said. "Yes but that would get us confused since we already tried A," Twilight A said, "We'll talk about it when we meet them." ************************************************* At donut Joe's, the quartet each got a donut and updated each other on their efforts. Twilight 1 or possibly P was not thrilled at the news about her changing blood type. "Awww, I hoped this would solve the organ shortage," she said when told, "I mean there were negative blood types but that's recessive so there aren't as many." Spike and Twilight H also discussed her possible empty skull. "I guess that solves the resucitation question," had been Sunset's comment. And the naming issue. "I'd say Twilight and Princess Twilight," Sunset said. "I don't know, I don't want my title to be why we're published," Twilight 1/P said, "Let's go with the H and P idea."** Twilight P and Sunset, meanwhile, informed the others of their relatively boring negotiation with Filthy Rich. He was a natural opportunist, but he was also the sort to go out of his way to retain a customer. He had explained that time had been of the essence, but that he would be glad to re-organize Alicorn Enterprises as either a non-profit or a governmental organization. Twilight P planned to talk to Mayor Mare and Nurse Redheart later to help figure out which would be better for those involved, and had in the meantime gotten him to agree to sell to the Griffons and Hippogriffs at cost. Twilight jerky was apparently going to be on menu. "I suppose the next set of questions to answer are afterlife related," Twilight said, "But since none of you can go with me on that, I'll need to start solo until one of the other Princesses can get time off." About this time they had finished off their donuts, and Donut Joe came by to see if they needed anything else. Something was off, though. "Will there be anything else?" Pony Joe said in an unfamiliar voice. The accent sounded British or possibly French5. Stranger, when he finished speaking, cheers and applause came out from nowhere. "Hey, Joe?" Spike said, "What's with your voice?" "What about my voice? Oh I hear it now," Joe said. He became visibly exasperated. "I'll never get used to this... Discord!" In a flash of light, the draconequus appeared in a flash of light, arms raised wide and a showman's (showpony's?) pose. "Discord! What are you up to?" Donut Joe said, "Wait why did I say that? I'm usually fine with your antics." "Why thank you," Discord said, "I do so enjoy your sense of humor, Nut Joe." "Nut Joe?" Joe asked. "The reference works better with 2 syllables," Discord said, "And really, if we aren't going to pander to the fans, why bother with this bit?" "Discord! Change him back!" Twilight P said angrily, "I know for a fact Fluttershy's told you why it's wrong to change ponies against their will!" "Oh relax, it was just his voice," Discord said. He snapped his claws anyway. "Try now." "Ahem. Testing testing. Ah, much better," Joe said, "Now, do you folks want anything else?" "Just the check please," Discord answered for them, "They have some pressing business with me." "What are you...?" Twilight P began. "Well hello my little ponies!" a familiar voice said from behind him. Discord twisted his body out of the way, revealing Celestia. "Oh, I see Discord has already noticed!" The ponies and other creatures in the donut shop bowed, some of them getting up. Twilight H was confused, but imitated the others as best she could. "Go about your business everycreature," Celestia said, "Oh, and you must be the other Twilight. How is your principal doing?" "Uhh... fine.. your highness," Twilight H said once she was out of her bow. "Oh no need for formalities. Think of me as your principal's sister," Celestia said. "Oh, uh, thank you," Twilight H said. "How did you know where to find us?" Twight P asked, "We were planning to meet you at the castle after this." "Gabby told me where you were meeting," Celestia said, "And since Discord is here, that simplifies things." "Simplifies what?" Twilight P said. Discord vanished in a snap and reappeared just slightly to the left (so as not to block Celestia), now in judge's robes, complete with a wig and gavel. "You, Twilight Sparkle, have desecrated my home!" Discord then appeared behind her and gasped. "I've done what now?" Twilight P asked. *Eagles and lions, which are the two halves of Griffons, are opportunistic predators. While they can and do hunt for themselves, they will eat carrion left by other predators as well. They'll also steal smaller predators' kills if it's easier than hunting, which might be the source of their selfish society in the show. And now you know! **Thanks to Caffeinated Pinkie for the suggestion on a clearer naming scheme. 1 Equals Friendship! 2 Gabby said everything brightly. Twilight 1 had not had an opportunity to test it, but she hypothesized that if you put Gabby in a dark cave and set her talking, the resulting illumination would be enough to find the exit. 3 Gabby also used a lot of exclamation marks. A remarkable feat considering she was talking, but if you asked anycreature who spoke to her regularly what punctuation most of her sentences ended with, a majority of those who understood the question and bothered answering would have said exclamation marks. 4 Clipboards were a necessity in medical settings, even in a species whose anatomy rendered opening the clip somewhere between difficult and unpleasant. Dimensionalists argue whether clipboard inter-universality is due to some multiversal resonance, or because they look cool. Some Cool-ologists claim it is both, and that 'cool' is a universal concept across dimensions, but Dimensionalists deemed them 'uncool' and banished them to the metaphorical table way in the back in the metaphorical metaphor lunchroom. 5 Patrick Stewart. It's Patrick Stewart.