//------------------------------// // Lesson 4 - Challenges of Marriage: The Horror of Foals // Story: Discord Teaches Philosophy: On Love // by CrackedInkWell //------------------------------// None of the students didn’t bother to go inside the school the next morning, due to the small striped tent set outside of it. A red and white Cheshire tent, the kind one would see to get changed into a bathing suit on the beach rested near the school’s moat. But that’s not what got their attention, however. There was also a small wooden stage that leads up to the tent, as if the Flim Flam Brothers had rolled into town again, ready to set up shop once again. Yet, much to Twilight’s relief, neither brother was in sight. The class, as they drew near the tent, couldn’t help but notice a smell of popcorn, roasted peanuts, sawdust, hay; along with the distant sound of an organ grinder playing a waltz. Yet, even this was not what got their attention either. What did, was the sign that was above one of the double entrances of this microscopic tent. On the back on a piece of plywood written in quickly painted lettering in red was the word “Exit.” And in front, done up all in bulbs of lights and Discord’s face grinning at them were the words: “Carnival of Migraine Marriage.” With the word “Migraine” being scratched out by red paint. “So on a level between enchanted and possible death trap,” Smolder asked to the rest of the students, “how concern should we be?” “I didn’t know the circus was in town,” Silverstream said, her wings buzzing with excitement. “With a stage and tent this small?” Gallus questioned. Silverstream thought about this for a moment, “Maybe the Flea Circus is in town?” “Truth be told that was my second idea.” Discord said, suddenly being next to them and making them jump a good several feet, screaming. “It was either the funhouse or the Flees, but I figured this one was a little more entertaining.” “Do you EVER stop doing that!?” Gallus barked, holding a claw to his beating chest from the adrenalin rush. “It’s a simple gag but effective.” Fluttering his wings, he made a striped red and white shirt, a straw hat, and a bamboo cane fall from the sky and into his arms. “Now if you all give me a moment…” He put on the shirt, hat and waved the cane about before floating up to the platform. Clearing his throat, he called out in a manner of a carnival carny. “Step right up! Today’s lesson is one rollercoaster of a ride folks! Come closer as we walk through this nightmarish marvel of a modern creation where the Romantics put all their chips on. Yes, Mares and Gentlecolts! Today we’re gonna tackle on that silently tricky issue of… Marriage!” He waved his cane over to the small dressing tent. “Yes folks! This here is a fun representation of the greatest value of modern society that has gone off the rails! Pair up with a partner and both of you will see why this simply deceptive place is so easy to get into and difficult to get out of! Inside this tiny marvel is a carnival of Matrimony where you will encounter…” With a wave of his cane, a poster floated in the air. The first was a wheel where ponies and creatures tumbled on its spokes, hanging for dear life as it turned. “The Wheel of Relationships! With this you will come across the wide verities of relationships that some of you probably didn’t think were possible!” Then the poster disappeared into a puff of smoke and was replaced with rows of ugly looking couples bickering. “The Matrimony Freak Show! In this, you will see the dark side of marriage that the Romantics don’t want you to see! Then next we have in here is…” The poster went up in flames and was replaced by a maze pattern with lost couples trying to find their way. “The Nuptial Labyrinth! Do you have what it takes to make it through the most common challenges that any couple faces? Or… for that matter…” Another wave of his cane and the poster rotted away to reveal another poster, this time showing two, very tired looking parents rocking a cradle with a screaming infant therein. “The Horror of Foals? This is an extra challenge for those who have or planning to have foals. This haunted house has all the scares that would make even Rousseau, the philosopher who thought that all kids were angles – faint. Or perhaps, you would like to see…” The poster exploded in sparkles to show Discord in a starry turban, a ring in his ear with a crystal ball where inside it showed an arguing couple. “Madame Misunderstand! Ever want to know what the living buck your spouse or special somecreature was trying to say when you argue? Well, this is where you’ll find the answers! Oh, and speaking of arguments…” All of a sudden, the poster was hit with hundreds of paintballs that splattered and morphed into a colorful image of a fighting couple, screaming over one another with paintball guns in their hooves – aimed at each other. “Try your luck with your partner at: The Battle of the Augment! This takes a closer look into the heart of all fights, scolds, and sulks. So, step right up! The carnival waits for the pair of you!” Discord floated over to the small tent and pulled on a flap, “Just remember, the only admission to enter and exit, is by twos. So, you all will have to pair up again if you want to get through with this.” The students looked at one another. Miss Harshwhinny stepped up, “So… What’s the catch? If this is a carnival-themed, then I should know from past experience that there’s always a catch to these sorts of things.” “And you’d be right!” Discord nodded, still grinning, “If you want to get in and out of this lesson in one piece, everyone here must all hope abandon, ye who enter here.” “What?” Fancy questioned, “Why in the world would we enter into what might obviously be a trap if we give up hope? How else are we to get through it?” “I think I know why.” Starlight said. “What Discord is saying that hope should be lower as to lower any expectations we have for marriage. That way, we wouldn’t be disappointed when something unexpected and unpleasant happens.” “Nice nod to continuity there,” Discord said in an approving tone. “So, come right in folks! Leave all hope behind!” Soarin flew up to where everyone could see him. “Hang on! I’m not going in there until you answer one question.” Discord raised an eyebrow while casting his cane over like a fishing rod over to the pond. “Yeah? What’s that?” “Why should we bother with marriage?” This received several looks from the other students – especially the ones who were already married. “I mean, it’s just something that has been bothering me is all. Why undergo all the rituals and sign legal work that is easy to get into but next to impossible to get out of? Couldn’t you just move in with someone and call it quits?” “Ah! Great question! And perhaps it would also give a disclaimer while I’m at it.” Discord felt a tug on his cane in which he pulled out a thin, noodle-like dragon in a kimono out from the pond before setting it free. “Well, once upon a time, those who got married were told to do so because a deity would get lightning-trigger happy if they didn’t. Yet, even when this idea has decayed, society and culture have made it difficult to separate for a very good reason. It was meant to be a defense mechanism against impatient impulse.” “What do you mean?” Soarin questioned. This was answered when Discord made a delectable, steaming apple pie appear – hovering just in front of him. “See this pie?” Discord asked, “How about I make you a deal? If you could manage to withhold the temptation of eating this for the next… oh… twenty minutes, you’ll get a second pie.” “Twenty minutes!?” Soarin objected, looking heartbreakingly between the most deliciously perfect pastry he’s ever seen and Discord. “That’s not fair!” “But if you’re able to wait, you’ll get two. Don’t even so much as lick the thing.” Discord pulled out a timer and pushed one of its red buttons to make it tick. “Your time starts now.” So, all students watched as Soarin struggled not to eat this heavenly pie in his hooves. At two minutes, Soarin kept licking his lips. At five minutes, the class could swear that they were hearing a choir of angels, encouraging the tempted Pegasus to eat the divine pastry. Then just after seven, he couldn’t take it anymore and delve his head into the richly sweet creation. “And… you lose.” Discord pressed the button on the timer. “Gallus, I’d take notice of his behavior if I were you.” Within seconds, Soarin wolfed the pie down, even licking the tin that it came in. “Is there anymore?” “Sorry, you couldn’t wait. And because of that, no second helpings for you.” “C’mon! That was the best thing I’ve ever tasted!” “Yet, without any impulse control, you will never have another. But I can see why. I made it too easy for you to be tempted. It’s the same reason why we have marriage. In marriage, one often feels very on edge within the first few years. That we find our spouse unsatisfying, that we’re angry and wanting to get out. Or maybe we’ve spotted someone that, on paper, would be better for us so there’s the urge to abandon our spouse immediately. Yet, the moment we have those impulses, we find the exits are bricked up so you can’t leave right away. After all, it would be too expensive, too embarrassing, and it would take forever to do.” “Amen to that.” Filthy Rich deadpanned. “All of this isn’t an accident. Every society has recognized that marriage is a failsafe of impulse. It’s to keep those wild, trigger-happy, greedy desires in check. What a couple is doing by agreeing to get married, is that as individuals we tend to make very poor choices under short-term thinking. Yes, you’re technically right Soarin, to imply that marriage is a golden cage – but it is one that we willingly lock ourselves in because we don’t trust ourselves entirely. There are parts of oneself that cannot be developed unless one is willing to be restricted. “However, at the same time, what this lesson aims to achieve, it’s best to find the devil in the details. Think of this as giving some of you a heads up what to expect in marriage. By looking at the fine print as it were to see what the hidden costs are. This isn’t to discredit marriage – but to hold a magnifying glass up to the tiny, nearly unreadable print of the nuptial contract.” Once again, the students paired up with the same individuals as yesterday. Then two by two, they entered through the microscopic tent. When they entered through the flaps, many were surprised (and at the same time not) to see that inside an impossibly long hallway made of the striped fabric. As they walked down, they passed the posters that Discord shown earlier of those macabre but colorful scenes of each lesson that promised of what’s to come. Then, near the end of the hall was a door and above it, an animatronic device that looked down. It looked like Mayor Mare that held an open book. Welded together with metal, bolted loosely with a lower jaw, twitched with a pair of glass eyes, the thing looked down to a steel platform were on each side was a sigh to “Stand here.” What made this thing unnerving to even look at was the fact that only the upper half of the robot was visible, where the lower was missing. Sowing sparking wires and tubes hanging out from it. “Well that’s new,” Ms. Harshwhinny looked behind her, “So who wants to step on the painfully obvious deathtrap first?” Unfortunately for Big Macintosh and his wife, they happened to be the first in line. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Big Mac stepped on to one of the platforms. Only… nothing happened except that the platform decompressed into the ground. “Ah reckon that it needs two ta work.” Sugar Belle cautiously stepped on the other. This time the animatronic overhead was suddenly turned on as there was an underwater recording of the wedding march playing. The machine lifted itself upright, jerked as it raised the book to look at it before reading aloud in a robotic, glitchy, stuttering voice that resembles the Mayors'. “D-D-Dearly beloved. We are gath-h-h-her here today for the joining of these two to become o-o-o-o-one.” She waved a hoof over to Big Mac, “D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Do you take this to-o be your spouse?” Mac blinked, “Uh… sure?” The animatronic turned to Sugar Bell and stuttered to ask her the same question. “Yes?” Sugar replied, just as confused as her husband. The machine bolted upright. “B-B-By the power invested i-i-i-i-in me, I declare you ready to enter th-th-th-th-the Carnival of Marriage.” With that, the double doors entered to where both Big Mac and his wife could enter through. Then just as soon as they walked into the carnival that the doors closed behind them. Each couple repeated this pattern to step on the platforms to trigger the stuttering animatronic, say their “I dos,” and they entered through the doors. Soon, all fifteen couples were inside a place that resembled a hodge-podge of state fair, indoor carnival, and funhouse. They were still inside the red and white strip tent, only it has become as big as a massive as a palace – a proper circus tent. All around there were booths and carnival games that upon a closer look, had the visuals of combining the décor of Hearts and Hooves were paired up with the dark sense of humor of Nightmare Night. (One such example was a game of darts where the on each pink balloon, there was a deranged, shouty expression of a mare or stallion face with a red heart behind them. That booth was called “Pop the Scolder.”) At the same time, near the edges of the tent, was a structure that seemed to encompass the walls of the tent as it showed a maze seemingly made out of glass. It was quickly noted too, that behind each of these booths as far as they could see was a copy of Discord, wearing the same striped shirt and straw hat, waiting for them. “So…” Lyra was the first of the class to speak up. “Now what?” To this, Rainbow Dash flew up in order to get a good view of the carnival from the air. “It doesn’t look that big… There’s a bunch of stuff everywhere though. I see a haunted house… a place for paintball… some tents… a weird-looking ride…” “Ya see an exit anywhere?” Applejack asked. “Uh… Yeah! There’s a sign, only it’s… oh crap.” “What?” “See these glass walls? This is the maze Discord was talking about. And apparently the only way out, is through there.” “Ya know,” Braeburn said, looking about, “it probably wouldn’t hurt ta at least give this place a look around.” “I call dibs on the haunted house!” Smolder called out, taking Ocellus by the hoof to lead her into the carnival. The other couples looked at one another until they turned to their Princess for guidance. “Okay,” Twilight sighed, “I think it’s clear that Discord wants us to explore this place until we started heading for the exit. If any of you run into Smolder and Ocellus, tell them that we will all meet together near the maze. No one is going to leave until all of us are in one place. In the meantime, let’s form into groups.” It was agreed upon, and with that, the class separated into groups to explore Discord’s carnival. Neither Ocellus nor Smolder didn’t know what to expect. Knowing Discord, one would think that a being who can manipulate reality on a whim that, upon creating a haunted house attraction, would be more… intimidating to so much as look at. The very idea of a being like him creating such an attraction out of his unpredictable imagination would craft the most terrifying place in the world. “Is it me,” Ocellus pointed at the attraction, “or does the façade look rather… cheesy.” “Yeah, I see it too.” Smolder nodded. Before them was a large, rectangular box painted black that had two entrances – one to go in, the other to get out – and above it was the sign that was called “Horror of Children.” Within the slim green letters were plastic mannequins of foals ranging from crying infants to punk teenagers. If anything, the effect just by looking at it was rather cheap looking. “Ya know,” Ocellus said aloud what she was thinking, “created by the Ex-God of Chaos, I half expected it to be more… elaborate.” Smolder shrugged, “Who knows? Maybe it’s bigger and scarier on the inside. I mean, that seems to be the theme of this place.” “Don’t you think we should get someone else to come with us? I mean, not that I don’t trust Discord…” “Hey! Wait!” The two of them looked behind to see the Cakes along with Cadence and Shining coming up to them. Mr. Cake was the first to approach them. “Don’t go in yet until we’re all together.” “Why?” Smolder inquired. “Twilight decided it’s best we go about this place in groups,” Cadence answered. “For safety reasons.” Both Changeling and Dragoness raised an eyebrow, looking between them and the Haunted attraction. “You sure?” Ocellus questioned. “It doesn’t look dangerous.” “This is just in case.” Shining insisted. “Besides, in a place where Discord in control, best to stick together to prevent anyone from getting lost.” “Fine by me,” Smolder shrugged. “So, wanna check this place out?” “Dear,” Mrs. Cake spoke up, turning to her husband, “didn’t Discord say that this was part of his overall lesson about marriage?” “Yeah… But why Children? And why would they be horrifying?” “I kinda have to agree,” Shining nodded, “compared to Flurry Heart, I’d bet this place would be underwhelming.” This got several raised eyebrows. “He means when she was an infant,” Cadence clarified, “seriously, you don’t wanna know what it was like to change her diaper.” “I had to change them with my mouth,” Mr. Cake pointed out before shuttering, “I know what true horror looks like.” “Anyway!” Smolder pointed to the entrance. “Are we gonna stand here and talk about crap all day or go into the cheesy haunted box?” The other two couples nodded. “Just remember to stick together,” Shining said. So the three couples entered through the opening where they pushed aside the black, shredded curtain. Inside of the haunted attraction was as cheesy as the outside. Lit only in black lighting, it was full of purple skeletons, rubber bats on strings, wooden spiders, a fog machine, and a mask of a mare with a long nose that had a wort on the end of it. “Really Discord?” Smolder asked aloud, pushing a rubber bat to the side. “Is this really the best you got?” No sooner had she asked this that a doll popped out from the darkness, laughing. Even still, the Dragoness frowned. “C’mon! This is supposed to be a haunted attraction! You’ll have to do better than that!” “Smolder,” Ocellus said, holding onto her marefriend’s arm, “Do you really want to provoke him in a place like this?” “All I’m saying is that he should really step up his game.” Pushing aside a black curtain, there was nothing there except a large mirror and the exit. Smolder, quite annoyed by the anticlimactic ending to an attraction, folded her arms as the other couples came in. “You really think any of this is scary, Discord?” She asked aloud. “C’mon! I wanna see something scary.” A pair of glowing eyes – recognizably Discord’s – appeared in the mirror. The couples looked behind them to see nothing there before looking back at the eyes. “Hey Smolder,” Discord, in a whispery tone said coming from the mirror. “Wanna see something really scary?” Suddenly, Shining Armor jumped up in front, his horn glowing brightly, “Get behind me!” The eyes in the mirror closed, and what followed was that the entire mirror suddenly and unexpectedly was showing static. All around, there were glitchy sounds of voices of those they’ve heard before. “I-I almost…” a mare’s voice was heard as the mirror started to clear up to show shadows of four creatures that were still blurry. “Is this the right spell for it?” a Stallion’s voice asked. “I really hope so.” Said another mare’s voice. “Because I really have so many bones to pick with.” “Wait, here…” A third mare’s voice said a silhouette approached the mirror, seemingly getting bigger to reach something off from the side. “Oh! I see the problem. Let me just…” Now it suddenly became clear to the three couples what they were looking at. This wasn’t a mirror at all – it was a screen that projected three very familiar-looking ponies and a lemonade yellow Changeling who stepped back. “Yeah, I think we got it.” The Changeling on the screen said, “Only… Hey, why do Mom and Mother look really young?” One of the mares approached the screen, and to the bewilderment of Cadence and Shining – it looked like their daughter. Only, this one was a full-grown adult! Flurry looked over the Changeling’s shoulder. “Yeah, you’re not alone… Mom and Dad look a whole like what they did when they were younger… Oh crap. I think we’re talking to their past selves.” “I don’t care about that!” The adult Pumpkin Cake said, “We’re going to have this intervention, and we’re going to do it now!” “A-An intervention?” Ocellus stepped back in shock. “What’s going on?” “Before we say anything,” the Changeling on the screen said, turning to Smolder, “Are you two dating?” She nodded. “How long?” “Not too long ago.” Smolder raised an eyebrow. “Why? Who are you?” An adult Pound Cake came into view. “Guys! This is our chance! Maybe if we talk to our parents in the past, they could change here in the present.” The Changeling nodded and turned to Smolder and Ocellus, “I assume you can already guess who these three are.” She waved over to the other three ponies. “But neither of you have met me yet… Because in your time, I wasn’t hatched yet.” “What?” Ocellus blinked. “You mean… You’re from the future.” Nodding, the Changing waved, “Hi Mother… Hey Mom.” Both Smolder and Ocellus’s jaws hit the floor. “My name is Tibia. I’m your daughter from… well…” Tibia thought for a moment. “I wanna say… About thirty or forty or so years from now? I'm not that good with math, sorry.” She frowned. “Still, we need to talk.” “It’s kinda important.” Flurry said. “From all of us.” Pumpkin added. “Oh absolutely,” Mrs. Cake approached the screen. “What’s wrong?” The future children all turned to Pound Cake, who sighed, “Before we say anything… Just so you know, we do in fact love you guys. However, there’s something that all of us wanted to say for a long, long time that we were afraid to say back when we were foals.” “All of you?” Cadence inquired, and they nodded. “Well… Okay. What is it?” “YOU ALL SUCK!” The four of them screamed. This was such an unexpected reaction that all three couples tumbled backward on the black painted floor. Tibia breathed deeply, “Again, as much as I love my Moms… there are still a few things that drive me up the wall. Literally on some days.” “We can say the same.” Pound and Pumpkin deadpanned. “Double for me.” Flurry folded her arms. Cadence got up, “Flurry, I don’t understand. Why are you angry at us?” “Goddess, where do we start?” Pound Cake asked, but after taking in a deep, calming breath, he said. “Look… Mom, Dad… I’m just going to go ahead and give you the benefit of the doubt to say that maybe you didn’t know you were doing a few things that were driving us up the wall. That some of us were too scared to mention anything in fear that you might love us less. But now that we’re adults and gone through years of therapy, maybe… We can finally tell you all what you have been doing to us… or about to.” “To start with,” Flurry put a hoof on the glass, “you might have heard this before, but it should be said again here – none of us asked to be born.” “Flurry-” Cadence began to say, her eyes started to fill with tears, but her daughter interrupted. “Let me finish. I mean, all of us were enjoying our existence in a warm darkness floating about. Just minding our business really. Then suddenly, we were catapulted headfirst into a world of endless tests at school, heart-stabbing rejection from those we trusted, compromising our happiness just so to keep you happy, and to be splatted against a world of pain. So, in a way, just letting us be born at all is – by all accounts – your fault.” “Hey! That’s not fair!” Mr. Cake stepped up. “We didn’t create this world; it came like this when we got here. You didn’t think we didn’t try to keep you all safe?” “That’s another thing,” Pound Cake said, pointing out, “As much as you want to try to protect us from all the bad, painful stuff out there – even then, as kids, if you want us to grow and gain experience in how to combat it, is that we have to face those painful things. Eventually, we’ll have to face them. As much as you want us to be mature by going around the more trickery things in life, we won’t learn if we don’t experience them. I mean, the fact that neither of you showed us how to pay taxes until we were in our thirties… I’m more upset that you didn’t sit us down to show how this painful experience is shown.” “Pound, don’t be so harsh.” Mrs. Cake spoke up. “You’re our foals after all.” “Mom, I get it,” Pumpkin replied. “However, that does bring up something that most of you have overlooked.” “What are you talking about?” Shining asked. “You all kept forgetting how fast we grow up. That helpless two-month-old infant we once were – I’m sorry to break this to all of you – is not who we are. That was just a version you all found easy to admire. Which, if you really thought about it, is such a huge insult to us as we do and will want to grow and evolve.” “Not to mention that we’ll grow up into ponies that you would never predict that they will become one day.” Pound nodded and sighed, “Still… don’t hold that against us. I’d bet that maybe, all of you were in their horseshoes once.” “Well, so what?” Smolder questioned with a dismissive tone. “All I’ve been hearing is just a bunch of whining.” “NO! NO! NO!” Tibia snapped at her. “That, right there, is something you NEVER got when I was growing up.” “Tiby, breathe,” Flurry put a hoof on her back, trying to instruct the Changeling to take some deep breaths. “We’re not here to scream at them – we’re here to firmly state what’s been on our mind.” “Yeah?” Tibia turned to her, “And how do you know she’ll actually listen for once? This is my Mom we’re talking about! Even if I did have a good reason to raise a complaint to her, even if I worded it perfectly, she’ll still hear – as Shakespur puts it – ‘A tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying… nothing.’” “She will,” Ocellus said, turning to Smolder, “and she better not interrupt.” In a silent, scolding second, Smolder stomped her foot but approached the screen. “Okay… what do you want to say to me, really?” After taking in another deep breath to collect herself, Tibia told her. “Here’s the thing with foals I doubt you ever understood. And this, by-the-way, is a psychological fact: the more you love your children, to make them feel safe that they can talk to you about anything… the more we will use you as an emotional punching bag. You might think this is an attack on you – it’s not. One would have to feel pretty secure with someone to so much as raising a complaint to you. If they ever did – consider it as a badge of honor.” “You’re making it sound like I don’t.” Her eyes narrowed as her eyes held back the tears. “You know… up until now… I was afraid to say anything to you. Because I’ve it all the reasons why you would block your ears: that how life is so hard; that how hard work was; that you were so tired all the time that you didn’t want to hear anything that would disrupt your relaxation. You may think that just banishing anything that didn’t equal calm and happy from home would make it better – it never did. That never giving any consideration that maybe… I have an opinion… Hurts me. That I want to be heard by you and never got it… At least Mother here, I could open up somewhat but you… You don’t want a daughter, just a golden child who’ll never complain, never get angry, never so much as to say ‘I think I’m depressed.’ Well Mom, just because your life is just oh so damn hard, doesn’t mean that you could convince me that all I’m good for isn’t to be a living being, but a machine that works for your convivence.” Smolder didn’t say anything, her wide eyes said it all. Tibia shut her eyes, her voice became hoarse as she said, “I need a minute…” and walked off-screen. “Why are you all angry at us?” Shining questioned. “Over here, you’re still little kids.” Flurry shut her eyes, took in a deep breath, and breathed out looking directly at her father. “We don’t hate any of you if that’s what you’re asking. But why we’re so angry, is because… well… we realized too late that we’ve overestimated you.” “What does that mean?” “Think about it. Once upon a time, we were but small, practically helpless (in some cases) things that relied on all of you to… well… not die. Growing up, we looked up to you for being these uniquely supernatural giants that have this enormous power to make it all better or worst. You were skilled at stuff that amazed us. You seemed to know all the mysteries of the world that we didn’t understand. None of us expected that the longer we did grow up, the more we realize how… imperfect you all really were. Your interests annoyed us, your taste in music embarrassed us beyond description, your fears were excessive, your rules seemed to obey habit rather than reason. We grew frustrated because we realized our parents were, to some degree, crazy. Then we also realized that it’s not just us, but so were your parents, and theirs before them, and before them, and so on.” “But we did try to read up on how to be good parents.” Mr. Cake objected. “I mean, before we had you, and when we wanted foals, we read up all we could, and those foal psychology books basically said to be nice to your children and all will be well. I thought that’s all we’ve been doing.” “Turns out, it was misleading.” Pumpkin told her father. “Dad, however much you tried to be nice to us, eventually you and mom will want to put an end to whatever stuff that we see as fun. It will start with banning books, magazines, and even too many sweets – then it goes on from there. The truth is, the more you love us, the more you want to act on our long-term interests, safety, and health – the more we’re going to hate you for doing so. What you might see as the greater good, to us we will see it as tyranny that there’s nothing we could do about it.” “While we’re on the subject,” Flurry said. “Since I’m less than… what? Ten, twelve years old where you two are at, here’s a heads up so neither of you will be shocked when it happens. And this doesn’t just apply to me as a princess, but to all of us too. No matter how much insight that you want to pass on to us in whatever subject – finances, love, running a government, making difficult decisions, or whatever – we will, as living beings, be committed to reexplore every dumb area in life. I know you want to pass on some of your wisdom, but we are, and will, make huge mistakes of our own. So, don’t be too surprised if we ended up doing something that’s incredibly stupid. You can’t spare us time.” She looked over at the twins, “Anything else?” “Now that you’ve mentioned it,” Pound nodded. “Speaking of giving a head-up so neither of you will be shocked when it happens – as your children, we will eventually want to separate from you.” “Separate?” Mrs. Cake blinked. “As in wanting to move out and be our own individuals. I mean, it’s practically a biological law that almost always catches parents off guard when it happens during adolescence. So all those attempts to try to shock you into kicking us out of the house – we’re trying to give you a hint.” Flurry looked off to the side, “Hey Tibia, you okay?” “Yeah…” there was sniffing sound that was heard. “I want to say one more thing.” She walked back on screen; the tears now dried. “This one goes to Mother… Ocellus.” “What?” Ocellus asked, taken aback, “What did I do?” Tibia took in a deep breath. “Mother, look… I know in your time you were considered as a genius. There’s no question about it. Your knowledge and your eventual teaching position at the School of Friendship is practically famous to Changelings everywhere. But… Despite all the love you’ve given me, the early lessons, the summer camps, you thought that maybe with just enough, I might turn into a version of Moztrot or Shakespur. Only you never are taken into account that maybe, I would end up as mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, there are ingenious kids out there, but in reality, they are the exception than the norm. No one is born a genius. I mean, what we really are, is just very average creatures who’ll have demanded way, way, above and beyond average levels of commitments from all of you to get us through adulthood.” Now that all of their complaints were heard, the future children looked at the past parents who had a look of shame on their faces. Some of them were on the edge of tears. “If there’s one good thing to take from all of this,” Flurry said, “is that as much as we love you if we really did admire you in every way – none of us would have the drive to grow up. For better or worse, we did. Eventually, we did have to find ourselves, develop skills, work at jobs and, for some of us, fall in love to become parents ourselves. Regardless much we see you as mediocre, there is still something about all of you that remains supernatural to us.” The screen then flickered until all four dissolved into static and being replaced with a single word in red: Boo! Too struck by this revelation, all three couples left the haunted attraction.