Crystal Memories

by Lorhelei


Crystal Life

A distorted sound echoed through the crystal walls of a certain castle, somepony just appeared at front of the wooden door of an incredible and beautiful crystal castle that shone with rainbows at dusk. The building had been once known as her house, her home, but then, she knew that sooner or later, some other ponies would call it the same way.

The sun was starting to hide as the moon rose to illuminate the night sky, “a beautiful night…” she said, “as always, Princess…”

The mare opened the wooden door, slowly, and the sound it did made her shivers, a sound she never gave importance, but then, was a sign of something else, something she had forgotten.

“I still have time,” she said, her hoofsteps being the only other sound that came from the entirety of the lonely castle. “I still have time…” she whispered.

As she walked through the halls, memories that seemed so far yet so close to her heart appeared in her mind. Everywhere she looked, a new memory invaded her troubled mind, like if the castle itself tried to tell her to stay, still, she kept walking.

Soon, she was opening a colossal wooden door, a beautiful one, one that she knew very well, and the mere thought of leaving it behind was creating a toll on her mind. Inside, she found what she was most afraid of but what she was looking for nonetheless.

A round table.

A map.

And six chairs surrounding it, each one with its own distinctive mark. The mark of those she cared the most, of those she thought she was going to live and die with. Her friend’s marks were there, but not them.

The room was empty, for the first time since its formation, the map showed nothing but a slight layer of dust, just like the chairs. She walked went by each and every one of them, recalling better days, days she thought would never end. She loved that life: having a breakfast now and then on that exact same table, discussing, or just handling together on their free time. She saw the chandelier at the top, made out of her memories, new and old, once shining like stars, now with a dull light, as if themselves were dying.

She sat on the chair that was marked for her, it has her mark, her and only hers, just to see those others, empty. In her head, they were still there. This was like any other day: Her friends were playing, chatting, and just living a life together.

The mare’s head began to ache, her eyes were trying to get something out of her chest, and her throat wanted to scream as loud as she could, yet, she whispered a quietly “why”, heads down.

“why?” she asked

“why?” she repeated over and over.

why it has to end?

Everything was perfect for her. She loved those breakfast together. She loved the adventures. She loved being headmare. She had her own school at last. She had the respect of her hero, friends like no others and one little assistant to keep her company every day and every night.

She was happy, as happy as she never thought she could be. She realized that she never knew real happiness until she found her friends, but now, the chairs were empty, the memories fading, and her castle, alone.

She knew that her friends were still there, everything was there, the council was formed, she could see them once each moon or even sooner, the Princess would be always there, she would never be alone again. But it would never be the same. She was not the same, no one remains the same. And she knew that that would silently and slowly thorn their paths apart. Sooner or later, that reunions would be weirder, they will have less and less in common, until one day, everything will fade away in a mist of remembrance.

Her breakfast with her friends now consisted in she, alone, with food made by some stranger in a giant hall full of empty chairs. Her time with her friends was now with some headstates and royalty and how their towns and cities needed more than the other’s, her adventures were about waving and smiling, just to let everyone know that everything was right.

Days would turn weeks, and weeks, months. Sooner than later, she was trapped in a routine she never wanted. Every day was meaningless, dull, empty. Everyday, she lived through her memories about things that she never did, and experiences that she didn’t had with her friends, realizing that now it was too late.

She stood there, taking seat on the same chair she once used like her own throne in that little castle that she had with her friends. It was their thing, something they shared, their duty, their joy, and she was happy; she felt blessed for being able to share all those days, all those memories, and experiences with them, but still, she wondered if all good things has to end.

She knew what the future had in mind. Thousands of years will pass and in the end, those moments, those friends, will be only memories that she and only she will remember. She looked up. The chandelier had already some dying branches, everything was going to die, including her memories.

The sound of her head against the crystal table echoed through the room. Her mane was now stained with dust, her horn and head hurt but nothing compared with how her heart was being torn apart.

“why,” she mumbled.

“Why,” she asked.

WHY,” she screamed.

She was barely able to speak, her breath took her voice captive, breaking it into pieces, “H-H-ow I-a-am supp-ose t-to k-keep goi-ing l-like t-t-this! H-HOW”

The pain kept growing inside her. She thought for a moment to use her own hoofs to open her chest and take out her heart if that would make it stop. She just wanted everything to stop, to stay as it was, to be happy once again; she wanted to be with her friends, to share her life with them, to wake up and see them through the window. She wanted to go back, to run away from this distorted reality where she was now trapped in. From this nightmare.

But no matter how hard she smashed her head against the table, they would never appear. And so, she stopped. She stopped and cried as loud as she could, a shredding, sharp, and broken voice that resonated on every single crystal in the entire castle. Her chest hurt more than anything she had felt before. Her face was soaked in tears as she couldn’t find another way to relief her heartache. Her heart pounded harder each second, like if her chest was going to explode, like if it was broken, and soon, she was going to die.

But nothing happened.

With time, her screams turned into sobs, her breath was slower but erratic, and she couldn’t breath well. For one second, her mind was focused only on her respiration. The sound it did through her nose, how she moved her chest slowly, his mind silent, thinking nothing, just breathing..

She raised her head, her mane was all over her face, disheveled. While she took it from over her eyes, something in her mind was hoping that, by any chance, almost by miracle, her friends were there once again, that everything was just a bad dream.

But it wasn’t. The chairs were still empty, just like the moment she entered.

There was nothing to say, nothing to do, and nothing to think, she thought, that even if she could do anything, things had to keep moving, no matter what. She loved her life, she felt blessed, she had everything she ever wished. Now, it felt like she had to start once again.

I want to go back,” she whispered. “Please… Let me go back…” she pledge.

Minutes passed. She hid behind her hooves, in fear for those memories to come back to torment her. She didn’t want to see anyone, she didn’t want anyone to see her. She just wanted to fade away to keep those memories before time itself take them from her. She was afraid, in fear, terrified. She knew she couldn’t bear to watch her friends in the eyes anymore. She knew that no matter what, now, they followed different paths, they wouldn’t have much to talk about, they wouldn’t understand each other anymore, not like before.

She knew that nothing was ever going to be the same.

If only…” she said, as she closed the wooden door, fearing that she will never come back to that room and that the map will never be alive anymore.

She walked slowly through the castle. Through each room now empty, through each room full of memories that one day, only will she remember, through each room: broken.

The lights turned off. The door closed behind her as she tried in vain to dry her eyes and cheeks.

She looked back, at a Crystal Castle, full of Crystal Memories, fragile, precious, beautiful memories. Wondering if that was how the story would end, how her happy life would end, and if what remained was only the husk of a life never wanted.

She saw at the sky, the last moon that the Princess would rise.

And besides her, a voice: “Twilight? What are you doing here? The last train is about to go, we’re going to be late to your first night on Canterlot’s Castle!”

She smiled for a second, thinking that, at least, one thing hasn’t changed. “Sorry, Spike, I was just… Remembering...”

The train disappeared through the mountains, leaving behind a castle, a Crystal Castle, empty and lonely. Wondering how much of her was left there. A life she never thought she had to leave.