Fritters and Morning Song sat on the back porch of the Apple homestead, watching the sunset and sipping Konik vodka. On the table between them sat the bottle, a stack of scratch notes, and seven personnel files bearing the Seal of the Crown. The pair had spent an hour after dinner reviewing both notes and files. Now, they would discuss what those notes and files meant in context.
“To summarize,” said Fritters, “we’ve got six legendary heroines and one absurdly strong farmer to hustle through weapons training, which we have to fit around work schedules, with an unknown enemy on the prowl and no way of knowing if we have five months or five hours to get our merry band ready for combat.” The Konik grunted, taking a sip of his vodka. “Ojejku! A pity we can’t just run them through a proper boot camp!”
“You know as well as I do that boot camp wouldn’t be a good fit for most of them,” replied Song. “Not everypony has the appropriate mindset.”
“In my opinion, most ponies don’t have the appropriate mindset when they go to boot camp,” countered Fritters. “That’s part of what boot camp is supposed to do – get you in the right headspace for war.”
Song hummed in assent. “Fair enough. Though at least the Bearers have a reputation for rising to the challenge. And they have a confidence that comes from facing death together. That gives them an advantage most recruits lack.”
“Tak,” agreed Fritters. “True enough. Ah, well. As the princesses will it, I suppose.”
The pair discussed in broad strokes how they would approach training the new ‘recruits.’ Some of their deliberation dealt with the physical differences between the ponies and their varying levels of martial proficiency. Mostly, however, they considered the psychological side of things – how the different personalities were likely to react to different kinds of reinforcement.
On a basic level, it was no different than what any good drill instructor did for his or her recruits. The purpose of training was to drill down to the recruit’s foundation, to reinforce that foundation, and to build atop that foundation a warrior who would face the trials of combat without breaking. It was essential to the survival of the recruit and the unit as a whole.
Each recruit was different, however; what worked for one might not work for another. Some methods could be used broadly, while others required a more tailored approach.
The present situation was further complicated by three factors: the work schedules of the trainees, the unknown timetable of the enemy, and the fact that, for all their heroism, all the trainees (sans Rainbow Dash) were civilians. Civilians who, it was plain, were training out of necessity, not a desire to be soldiers.
As such, it would require an extra fine touch to hit that sweet spot between breaking them down to solid foundations and simply breaking them. Hence this late evening chat by the impromptu unit’s effective commanding officer and her senior NCO. Such meetings were a longstanding tradition in their unit – the present circumstances only heightened its necessity.
“Rainbow is pretty straightforward,” said Fritters. “We just advance her training minus the Chair Corps hooficures.”
“Fritters,” censured Song, “play nice.”
“Fine. We advance her training with a greater emphasis on ground combat and wingless fighting styles than our esteemed colleagues in the Air Corps generally focus on. There, that better?”
Song smiled. “Better. I also think that the Apples will be fairly straightforward. The only wrinkle I immediately foresee with them will be fitting it around farmwork, but I think their heads are in the right place for this.”
“Agreed,” said Fritters. “What’s your take on Rarity?”
The psychologist pursed her lips. “Rarity doesn’t strike me as the sort to jump right into the boot camp mentality. With that said, she’s single-minded in pursuing what she wants. I think appealing to her sense of duty is the best way to override whatever resistance she has to the training environment.” She tapped her hoof on the table. “That and her competitive streak. She might not have the same overt competitiveness of Rainbow Dash or Applejack, but when she’s challenged she tends to go all out. Properly tempered, that’s a deadly focus she can bring to bear.”
“Well, if it’s a challenge she needs, then a challenge I’ll provide,” promised Fritters. “I was already planning on something similar, so it would seem you’re rubbing off on me. What’dya think, LT, should I consider a career in psychology?”
Song shot him a long look.
“Yeah, probably not,” he agreed. “Anyway, Twilight also seems pretty clear-cut. She’s a rule-follower and an order-taker. Getting her logical brain behind the training will keep her going through setbacks. Once her ‘mind over matter’ kicks in, that mare’s gonna be scary.”
“So long as she doesn’t overthink things,” added Song.
Fritters gave a predatory smile. “Oh, I have some plans to keep her focused on what’s right in front of her, don’t you worry.”
“No doubt,” observed Song dryly. “Next up is… Pinkie Pie.”
The two exchanged a long look.
“Wing it?” asked Song.
“Wing it,” declared Fritters. “Which only leaves Fluttershy.”
Song sighed. “I’ll be honest with you, Frit, I wish we didn’t have to train her.” Come to that, I wish we didn’t have to train any of them, but especially her. “She’s an awfully gentle soul to face this.”
Fritters raised an eyebrow. “So are you, but you’ve managed. And it’s not as though we have a choice.”
“True enough,” acknowledged Song. “I suppose it’s at least a good sign that she realizes that too. And, for all my reservations,” she tapped the report on the dragon that Fluttershy had cowed, “the fact is she’s far stronger than she knows.”
“It’ll be a matter of showing her that strength in a healthy way,” observed the Konik.
“And helping her realize it’s a healthy way,” said Song. “The Iron Will matter left a bad taste in her mouth. True, she learned that it’s possible to be assertive without being a bully, but this goes far beyond that.”
“She needs to recognize that sometimes the kindest thing you can do is fight,” supplied Fritters.
“Exactly. Having Friar Jacques around seems to be the best avenue for getting that across, so I’ll ask him to talk to her about it.”
Fritters nodded. “You should talk to her too. A mare-to-mare chat from somepony who made a living patching mental wounds can’t hurt.” He took a sip of his vodka and contemplated the sunset. “As for me, I think I’ll focus on bringing out her protective instincts. Mama bear type exercises, with some partner smoking on the side so she feels like she has to step up for the others. To save time I think I’ll partner her with one of the others who needs to work on strengthening exercises, probably one of the unicorns…”
They continued to discuss strategy for the next half hour, drawing on their respective skillsets to hash out a training strategy. Like most such plans, it almost certainly wouldn’t survive contact with the enemy, but it would give them a baseline to work from.
Just as the last rays of the sun were disappearing behind the horizon, they finished, leaving them with naught to do but sit and finish their vodka. Song took a sip of her drink, and the clear liquid burned its way down her throat, causing her to shudder slightly. “Tell me something, Fritters,” she said.
“Hm?”
“Why in Equestria did I let you talk me into drinking vodka?”
Fritters cackled. “I told you, siostra, it will make you potężny! Powerful!”
“Well, we’ve been drinking vodka for four years and I have yet to see any evidence for that claim.”
“We’re still alive, aren’t we?”
“Yes, but—”
“There you go,” he replied.
Song snorted, but couldn’t keep a fond smile off her lips. “Applejack has no idea what she’s getting herself into,” she murmured.
Fritters turned sharply. “What was that?”
“Well, she asked you to teach her how to make use of her True Sight, didn’t she?” diverted Song smoothly. “Does she know exactly what the training will entail?”
Fritters relaxed. “Ah. That. No, she does not.”
The psychologist cocked an eyebrow. “When do you plan on telling her that the training involves traps and ambushes?”
Fritters opened his mouth to respond, but at that moment there was a loud splash, followed by a string of country expletives. “Sweet and salty Celestia!” roared Applejack from deep in the house. “Who put a feathering water balloon trap in mah room?!”
Shrugging innocently, the Konik answered, “Oh, now-ish.”
Song laughed.
Disclaimer: I am not a soldier and have never claimed to be. What follows, like everything else I’ve interjected about the military, is derived from years of firsthand accounts about combat and combat training from any source I could find over many generations of warfare.
In basic training, a recruit needs to learn to follow orders, to act as part of a unit (even with the soldiers he or she may dislike), to place the mission first, to never accept defeat, to never leave a fallen comrade, to put the needs of fellow soldiers above oneself, to put the protection of civilians above survival, and, ultimately, to kill and die for people who may be strangers.
Combat deployments, by all accounts, are a combination of mind-numbing boredom and moments of sheer, bloody chaos. Throughout it all, orders are given which may not make any sense to the soldier who has to execute them. It’s a blend of instinctive order-following, reacting on training, and maintaining the alertness that allows the warfighter to think on his or her feet, to interpret both orders and training in a way that will balance mission, survival of comrades, survival of civilians, survival of self, and ethics.
And… there’s no nice way of accomplishing that. Boot camp is tough by design, because anything less fails to prepare people for war. Coddling people or going easy on them is actually cruel – it gets them and other people killed. If people can’t hack it in boot camp (and there’s no shame in not being a good fit for military life), it’s best to find that out while not in a warzone. That’s why drill instructors ‘smoke’ recruits.
On the other hand, simply brutalizing recruits is often equally dangerous. It has the potential to break people who, with better training, might have made excellent soldiers. Worse, it has the potential to produce callous soldiers, which is leads to Bad Things. (Note how Cloak and Dagger train the Vox to be vicious in order to win – they’re examples of talented but ultimately unethical, and thus dangerous, drill instructors).
The sweet spot, then, is to have drill instructors who forge their recruits. They don’t do what they do because they’re martinets or bullies – they do what they do because they care about their recruits. They want them not only to survive, but to excel, to have the same care for each other that the instructor has for them.
A good drill instructor is equally capable of smoking a smartmouth for several weeks to break their lone-wolf attitude as they are of taking that same smartmouth aside and helping them work through their personal problems, hardships, and insecurities. Soldiers speak of such drill instructors with a sort of reverence and affection – as men and women who opened them up to being more than they were before, even if the process was painful. The recruits emerge as brothers and sisters, confident in knowing they can face trials and endure, even thrive.
Boot camp is a weird art as much as a weird science, with many unwritten rules. And a big part of it is learning to “embrace the suck.” Military life is full of suck, and the suck needs to be taught early on if soldiers are to endure it and emerge mentally sound. That’s what this chapter would have been about.
You know, if I’d written it.
Pretend I did write it and that I did a good job.
By the way, what Fritters means by “partner smoking” is that if, say, Fluttershy and Twilight were paired up and Fluttershy made a serious mistake, Fritters would make Twilight do pushups on the grounds that, “Fluttershy is your partner, and it’s your responsibility to ensure she’s combat ready.” Properly done, this incentivizes Fluttershy to try harder and get over her inhibitions because she cares more about letting her friends down than she cares about how unpleasant the training is. There’s an art to doing this in a such a way as to build comradery rather than resentment, but Fritters is a pro at this and he’s working with people who are already good friends, so it’s a good plan in this case.