//------------------------------//
// Bridle Gossip 
// Story: The Everlasting Hope 
// by Plasmadon 
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Chapter 8: Bridle Gossip

Something was next to me. Something soft, that smelled of apples. I groggily turned my head and found myself nose-to-nose with AJ. She was breathing peacefully. I smiled inwardly and leaned gently against her. She murmured something that involved “dying” and “giant trees” and snuggled closer. The blush on my face was most definitely present, because Danny floated into existence in front of me with a grin on his face.
“Well, look who’s got a girlfriend,” he whispered. I gave him a glare.
“Danny. One: personal moment. Two: do you really want to be skewered by a dull scimitar in the middle of the Arabian Desert?” Danny’s expression changed to mild fear as he vanished. I thought so.
After a few minutes I shifted out of AJ’s grasp and headed downstairs to make breakfast. As I dropped down the stairs, I noticed a little steam coming from the kitchen area. Applebloom was trying to make breakfast, and from what I could smell, she wasn’t doing a half-bad job of it.
“Morning, Applebloom,” I said, feigning sleepiness. She smiled.
“Mornin’, Mr. Back-From-The-Dead,” she said. I groaned.
“You are going to antagonize me about that for the rest of my life, aren’t you?” I asked. She just smiled angelically and returned to making breakfast.
About ten minutes later, there were five steaming plates of food on the table, courtesy of Applebloom and I. She went to wake up Granny Smith and get Big Mac from the fields while I went up to AJ’s room. She was still fast asleep. I shook her foreleg.
“AJ, wake up,” I whispered. No response. I shook her harder. Still nothing. I softly kissed her cheek. She bolted upright, blushing, with a dreamy smile on her face. I grabbed her by the hoof and brought her downstairs. She gaped at the food.
“Applebloom, I think you just broke AJ,” I said. She laughed. I put a bite of egg in my mouth, slowly savoring the flavor. “Applebloom, I think you just broke me.” AJ literally shoveled the food into her mouth, drawing another laugh from me.
“Hungry, AJ?”
“Well…” she turned away and blushed. I noticed how thin she’d gotten.
“AJ,” I said seriously, “How long was I asleep?”
“T-three days.”
I gaped. “And you didn’t eat the entire time?” I asked, incredulity laced in my voice. She nodded slightly, blushing even more.
Wow, she must have been in the hospital the whole time. Looking after me…
A blush formed on my own face as I realized just how much she’d done for me. I got up from my seat and hugged her. AJ’s blush went darker than Vinyl’s eyes.
“AJ,” I said softly, “Thank you for worrying so much. But that doesn’t mean you should go starving yourself for my sake.”
Applebloom squealed when we hugged. Granny Smith must have fallen asleep again, because she jumped when Applebloom shrieked. Big Mac just stared on, observing us carefully. I broke the hug and got back to our meal, while AJ just sat there, frozen.
After the hearty breakfast and shaking AJ out of her trancelike state, Applebloom, AJ and I headed into town to buy groceries and more barrels for apple storage. On the way, I noticed how strangely quiet things were. You would normally hear ponies mingling and, on occasion, Vinyl begging Lyra and I to play at the club. No such sounds were heard. The ponies seemed to be hiding from something, considering how the whites of their eyes shone in the darkness of their windows.
That something was about to make itself known.
Excuse me for being dramatic, but I couldn’t possibly give up that opportunity, now could I?
So, anyway, we were walking through the town when…
“Psst!”
If I didn’t know it was Pinkie, I would’ve pissed myself. As it was, I jumped when she hissed. She beckoned us to the door she was hiding behind. “Get in, quick!” The three of us jumped in. Pinkie, who was not at all surprised to see that I was still alive, shut the door quickly. The other four girls, however, were staring at me with open awe.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, consciously rubbing my hooves together. Rarity gaped even more.
“But… you were dead…” she gulped out. “We… had… a funeral…”
I laughed. I didn’t care if they looked at me strangely, it was just so funny. “you mean to tell me that I missed my own funeral?” I started laughing all over again. “Just wait till the guys at the pub hear this!” I wiped a tear from my eye. “Oh, speaking of which, Pinkie. How were you not totally shocked when I was brought back?”
“Well, I read the last chapter.”
“Why must the universe torture me with this mare?” I groaned. Pinkie elbowed me.
“Watch it,” she warned. We looked at each other for a second, then both burst out laughing again. I wiped another tear of mirth from my eye and refocused on Pinkie.
“So, what’s the big deal that you would have us jump a door to some here?”
“Her!” Pinkie pointed to a window. There, standing in the middle of the street, with a hood over her head, was a strange pony. She dug at the ground with her hoof, making deep indents.
“Can I go all One Power on this pony, or is she another happy-go-lucky one?” I asked. Pinkie shuddered.
“That’s Zecora!” she squeaked. I raised an eyebrow.
“Zecora?”
“Yeah, and she’s evil!”
Okay, evil pony pawing at the ground in a non-menacing manner. “Does she have a mustache?” I asked. Pinkie shook her head, confused. “Pinkie, you don’t know somepony’s evil unless they have a mustache.” A big pony that looked like a Big Lebowski reference glared at me from across the street. “Scratch that, let’s make it ‘almost all’ instead of ‘all’ ponies with mustaches are evil.”
“But… look at her!” Rarity exclaimed. I calmly walked into the kitchen.
“You know, I think I’m going to make some cake while you five freak out. Applebloom, you in?” she nodded hastily, eager to get out of the terrified ponies’ way. I trotted around, grabbing bags of ingredients, and set to work.

About an hour and a lot of flour accidents later, I was sitting at the table with a slice of amazing cake in front of me. Applebloom’s mouth was watering, an identical piece across the table. I was just about to dig in when a gasp came up from the other room. I trotted in to see Twilight and Spike there as well. Twilight greeted me with a nod and waved me over. I trotted over to the window to see the Zecora pony still there. She carefully lowered her hood to reveal… 
A zebra.
“Holy shit!” I shouted, startling everypony. “You guys have zebras too?”
“Of course we have zebras,” Twilight said. She looked confused. “Why wouldn’t we?”
“Well,” I started, “we have zebras back on Earth, too. I just didn’t know.”
“Will somepony tell me what the hay a zebra is?” AJ asked. I sighed.
“Zebras are quadripedal equines similar in stature and anatomy to horses, or, in this case, ponies. The zebra is usually defined as being white with black stripes running through its coat and mane. Zebras hail from the savannah plains of Africa, though evidence suggests they lived in the eastern forests of South America several million years ago.”
Everypony, Twilight included, looked stunned at the near-encyclopedic knowledge I’d given them. I shrugged. “What? I had to do a project on zebras for school a few years ago.”
“How old are you again?” AJ asked me. I realized I didn’t even know what age these ponies were.
“Fifteen. Why?”
“What?!” AJ exclaimed. “Yer only a year older than me an’ yer still in school?”
“Humans go through twelve years of school,” I explained. “Thirteen, actually, if you count kindergarten.” Twilight looked at me with mild interest, but I noticed a red mane sneaking out of the door in the corner of my eye. I pointed to the window.
“Hey, look. Something shiny!” they all turned to look.
Oh my God, I’ve got to use that more often. By the time they turned back, I was gone. I was actually walking through the fringe of the Everfree, keeping a close eye on Applebloom. I was just about to sneak through a field of pretty blue flowers when Brenner appeared next to me.
“Don’t step in the flowers!” he hissed. I raised an eyebrow, so he explained. “It’s called Poison Joke. It’s pretty much poison oak, but Peeves the Poltergeist would be proud of the aftereffects.”
“So, no touchy the pretty blue flower?”
“You know, Andrew, sometimes it amazes me just how stupid you can actually be.”
“You,” I said, “are quite possibly the biggest killjoy on the face of Equestria.”
Brenner just grinned like mad and vanished. I picked my way around the Poison Joke and returned to watching Applebloom. Zecora had just turned, obviously noting someone was following her, when a voice came out of the darkness underneath the tree I was sitting in.
“Applebloom!” definitely AJ. “Get over here righ’ now!”
Zecora spoke in a voice that hinted at an African accent. “Beware, beware, you pony folk! That flower blue is not a joke.”
Wait a second. Did this pony just rhyme? Alright, she is now officially the fourth coolest creature ever to have lived (aside from me, AJ and Rainbow Dash). In my reverie, AJ yelled something, distracting me.
“Wait, if you’re here, then where’s Andrew?” Twilight asked. I somehow hooked my hooves onto the branch and swung down. Everypony looked utterly stunned; even Pinkie.
“So, there I was, hanging upside-down on a tree while staring at magical talking ponies, when…” I trailed off, grinning. The six of them slowly came to the realization that I was following Applebloom, and thankfully left it at that. Everypony except AJ.
“Thanks fer lookin’ out fer mah sister,” she said slowly. I grinned wider.
“Come on, AJ. She’s like a sister to me.” I frowned at a sudden thought. “Though I can’t shake the feeling that if I did, you’d buck me across the Acres.” 
She laughed. “You bet yer Cutie Mark ah would,” she joked, forgetting that I didn’t have a Cutie Mark. My grin returned.
“I’d still look amazing flying through the air with half my teeth knocked out and blood spraying from my face.” She laughed again, but this one was a little more forced. Her pupils contracted a bit when I said “blood”. “Aw, come on, AJ. You’re still not over the whole ‘me dying’ thing?”
“It happened yesterday!” AJ protested. I grinned.
“Yes, which means it’s in the past. And I prefer to look towards the future.” I nuzzled her neck before turning back to the woods. “Now, you go back home with Applebloom. I’ve got something to check out back at the castle ruins.” Before she could respond, I trotted deeper into the forest. I turned back and winked.
“Hey, there’s nothing I can’t handle, right?” I asked. She frowned, knowing I’d used her own words against her, and trotted off. I continued my walk through the forest, picking my way around the plants in case any of it was dangerous. I finally reached a stump at a clearing about ten miles in. I knocked on the wood door, which was answered by a quick gallop. Zecora opened the door.
“Ah, it has been too long since I have had guests. Tell me, young traveler, what is your quest?” she ushered me in. I sat on a mat and examined the masks decorating the walls. 
“This,” I said slowly, “is Ancient South African. Where in the name of Aes Sedai did you get it?”
Zecora looked genuinely shocked. “What manner of pony are you, stranger? For all who know the name of my land face mortal danger.”
“First off, please cut the rhyming thing. I know it’s the language you’re most comfortable with, but it’s making it hard to get a clear sentence out of you. Second, you may know me as a human.”
“You say you are a human? Here? The wheel of fate has been steered!” Zecora exclaimed. I shot her a look and she composed herself again. “Many apologies, young human. It has been quite a while since I have spoken naturally.”
“No worries, although I wonder how you know of humans?”
“My mother told me of them when I was but a small child. She said they were ferocious and wise creatures, capable of killing with a single look, that built structures so tall they broke the clouds themselves.”
“All correct, except for the ‘killing with a single look’ thing. Speaking of which, do you have any tea? I hate to be a burden, but I’m parched from the walk here.” The zebra bustled around the room, bringing out two teacups just as a kettle shrilled from over a fire. I narrowed my eyes. “You knew I was coming, didn’t you?”
“I could hear your footsteps from a mile off, young unicorn.”
“Please, call me Andrew.” Note to self: learn to be sneakier. Maybe I can just ask Rainbow Dash to help me. The tea was perfect; not too sweet, not too bitter. There was probably a faint hint of coconut and lavender in there, but I was too absorbed by the décor to notice. I only snapped out of it when Zecora spoke again.
“Why are you here, Andrew? I have heard the rumors that circulate the town, and they are not pleasant.”
“If I’d heeded the rumors, then I would not be here. If you presented a threat, you would be hanging from the ceiling with a wooden stake in your heart. I simply wanted to make friends, that’s all.”
“You are a surprising creature, Andrew.”
I grinned. “I’ve learned not to judge a book by its cover.”
Zecora smiled as well. “You are wise as well,” she said. “I’m not sure I will ever meet a sentient being as… interesting as you.” The fire popped, sending embers into my tea. With a sigh, I set it aside.
“Well,” I started, “I must be going. The girls must be going haywire about what happened to me.” I turned and trotted out the door. I stopped in the entranceway and tipped an imaginary hat. “Thank you for having me over, Zecora. I just wish my friends would say the same.” With that, I left the house. Trotting my way through the forest, I was met with Twilight and Pinkie Pie at the edge. When they came into view, I waved. Pinkie looked stunned to see me, while Twilight was irritated.
“I told you he was okay, Pinkie!” she exclaimed, causing me to raise an eyebrow. Pinkie zoomed up to me and examined me critically.
“Should I be asking why I’m being searched by a- Pinkie! I don’t care what you think; you are not searching down there.” I swatted her hoof away and she gave a sheepish smile. 
“Sorry, Zed. I got carried away with my investigation.” She returned to examining me.
“What exactly am I being investigated for, Pinks?” I asked.
“Signs Zecora cursed you with her evil voodoo magic, of course!” Pinkie stared at me like I was an idiot. Do not laugh at expression… do not laugh at expression…
I laughed at her expression. Goddammit, I always laugh in this world. I wiped a bit of drool off the corner of my mouth and faced Pinkie again. “Pinkie Pie, do you honestly expect me to believe Zecora is some kind of evil enchantress?”
She stared at me suspiciously. “How do you know my song?” she asked.
“Song? What song?” I tilted my head for a moment. “You know what, never mind. I will not ask the question.” Twilight nodded her approval. “Well, I’m gonna hit the hay. See ya later.” I trotted off back to Sweet Apple Acres, thinking merrily of the next day.
Well, I was stopped by a very worried mare.
“AJ, I’m serious!” I exclaimed when she jumped on me for what seemed to be the fourth time that day. “I won’t get hurt when I have friends to protect.” She still didn’t look convinced, so I went with the one thing that would reassure her: the Pinkie Promise. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I poked my eye, which REALLY hurt. But I braved through the tears. AJ finally popped up a little. 
“Ya promise?” she asked. I nodded, and she finally deflated. She stuck me with applebucking duty for the rest of the day, though it was in her section of the orchard, so we saw each other often. After that, we chatted about the recent events in town: Lyra hooking up with Thunderlane (I personally thought she had the hots for Bon-Bon, but whatever), the Doctor’s adaption to society, Pinkie accidentally causing a nuclear explosion in her old Easy-Bake oven (how the town wasn’t leveled I have no idea), stuff like that. Finally it was night, and I teleported to the roof of the barn. I had noticed a few faint twinkles of light in the sky, so I decide to use telepathy (the best fucking spell in existence, by the way) to contact Luna and see what’s up.
“Luna, you there?” I whispered. A faint voice came out of nowhere.
“Yes, Andrew. What is it?”
“Those flashes of light in the sky. What are they?”
A hint of embarrassment crept into Luna’s disembodied voice. “I’ve been trying to make one of those nebulae you showed me, but I just can’t get it.”
I showed her an image of billowing gas clouds forming different colors in deep space, twisting and roiling as its own gravitational field held it in place. Luna whispered a quick thank you before severing the connection. Moments later, a faint cloud of violet and gold touched the black sky, softly illuminating the apple orchards. I sighed to myself, dropping back onto the shingling. I fell asleep almost instantly.

And of course, I get woken up to screams of suffering. Very high pitched screams of suffering. I raced into the house, only to find a very tiny Applejack sitting at the table. I held a hoof to my mouth to keep from laughing. She glared at me.
“Yeah, jus’ keep laughin’, partner,” she squeaked. “When I get this fixed yer gonna be one sorry stallion.”
“What’ll you do?” I asked. “Kiss me to death?” she grinned and lowered her eyelids, swaying her hips as she walked forward. If she was normal-sized, it would have been a bit too sexy. 
“Maybe ah will,” she said in a low voice. Well, as low as you can get when you’re only two inches tall. I tried my best not to smile as I blushed slightly.
“Well, it doesn’t help that whenever I give you just a kiss on the cheek you freeze up and go into fantasy-land,” I retorted. AJ started stammering incoherently as her threat was shot down. I chuckled and lifted her onto my back. “Now, let’s go to Twilight’s and see if we can get your… little… problem fixed.” I snorted again, and AJ bucked the back of my head. Damn, that mare was strong…
Twenty minutes later, I was standing in front of Twilight’s library with an apple sized bruise on the back of my head. How could a pony 1/48 of my height hit so hard? I knocked on the door, rubbing my bruise like nopony’s business. Twilight answered the door looking slightly shell-shocked. I wondered why until I looked above her eyes.
“Bwahahahaha!” I laughed, clutching my stomach. Twilight’s horn was covered in blue splotches, and it was hanging limply. I tried choking out a sentence, but all that came out was a strange gurgling sound. Twilight looked me over with a mixture of fear, annoyance and concern.
“Just get inside before I do something I’ll regret,” she said. I grinned, spinning out another chuckle.
“Yessir, Twilight Flopple,” I said, saluting. I collapsed into laughter while Twilight kicked me inside. “Alright, alright,” I stammered. I got up and walked inside…
Where Spike and I started laughing again.
I was on the floor, curled up and clutching my stomach, before I even knew what was happening. Rarity’s hair was a mess, Rainbow’s wings were out of control, and Pinkie had the same blue spots on a swelled tongue. Spike was on the floor next to me, rolling around. AJ gave me another buck on the head and jumped on the table.
“Look at you guys!” Spike said, still giggling. “There’s Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple-tini, Flutterguy, and...” Spike stopped.
“Twilight Flopple?” I suggested. We looked at each other, nodding, then roared with laughter again. I managed to stop myself before the girls tried to give me brain damage.
“Fine, I’ll stop,” I said, getting up and brushing myself off. “The fact remains that we need to get this fixed. Twilight, have you and Spike found anything in the library?”
“Not yet,” Twilight admitted.
“There’s only one solution for this!” Rarity exclaimed, startling everypony. “We have to find Zecora and force her to undo this curse!” I facehoofed. Just when I thought you might be useful, Rarity…
“How many times do I have to tell you?” Twilight asked angrily. “There’s no such thing as curses!” I was about to agree when something caught my train of thought. Applebloom had no supervision, and she still thinks Zecora is a nice pony. Well, she is, but she’ll be in major trouble if she goes into the forest alone. Before anypony could ask, I zoomed out the door and off to the forest.
Even I had to admit the forest was mildly creepy. There were manticores, hydrae (hydrae is the correct plural of hydra), basilisks and all sorts of other beasts. Not to mention the fact that the Doctor said a few Weeping Angels might have followed him through the dimensional rift. My horn glowed with a soft gold light as I searched the place for Applebloom.
“Now, where are you, little one?” I asked the air, looking for a familiar bob of red and yellow. Finally, after a good hour of searching, I found Zecora’s house again. I knocked. Zecora smiled when the door opened.
“Ah, welcome, young human boy. More company I would enjoy.” I raised an eyebrow, and she thumped herself. “Please forgive me, Andrew. It has been hard converting to a different style of speech.”
“No problem, Zecora.” I trotted in and adjusted a few masks. “Have you seen a yellow filly with a red mane and a bow in the forest recently?”
“If you mean little Applebloom, then yes. She is out collecting herbs for a special brew of mine. This potion reverses the effect of Poison Joke, which your harem has most undoubtedly discovered.”
“Harem?” I grinned. “Zecora, as much as my hormones would love that, please don’t refer to my friends in such a crude way. It’ll give readers the wrong idea.” We laughed. Hers was a bit more of an evil cackle. Now, I’m starting to understand why ponies misjudged her. I trotted around, examining the masks and fixing up tea for three. Ahh, making tea is so stress relieving for some reason…
Until six stressed females knock down the door. God, why does this always happen to me?
“Where’s mah little sister?!” AJ yelled in her squeaky voice. Then she turned towards me.
“Yo.” I saluted. Sipping some tea, I waited for Pinkie.
“OHMYGOSH!” Pinkie screamed. “Zecora’s used her voodoo magic to turn Andrew into a zombie!”
“Pinkie,” I said slowly, “You’re missing a lot here. One, I wouldn’t be able to talk if I was a zombie. Two,” I gestured to the gold aura holding my teacup in the air, “I wouldn’t be able to use magic as a zombie. Three, if I was a zombie, it’d be safe to say all of your brains would be in my stomach.”
“Are you saying humans eat brains?” Twilight asked.
“Probably,” I said, shrugging. “People eat anything somewhere in the world. South India has brains, Africa has lions, the old Amazon tribes ate their own roasted breasts.” Twilight gagged.
“People eat their own breasts?”
“A long time ago, when the Amazon tribe was comprised solely of women. They’d cut off one of their breasts to shoot better.” Twilight gave a faint nod, still choking on her own vomit. Pinkie started shaking my shoulders, whipping my head back and forth.
“Snap out of it, Andrew!” she yelled in my ear. I stopped her with a hoof.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, I swear to God and Celestia alike, if you do that again I will string you up by your ankles and dunk your head in a tank of boiling water.” She froze and inched away from me. “Good. Now that’s over with, where’s Applebloom? She should have come back with the ingredients by now.”
“Yer tellin’ me you have no idea where the hay mah sister is?” AJ practically screamed. I shrugged.
“Meh. She’s tough. Trust me, I know her sister.” I winked, which softened AJ’s expression, though only slightly. “Besides, the first thing she’d do if she got in a tangle with a monster is run to Zecora.” Even as I spoke, the door burst open, revealing a panting Applebloom.
“Scary…” she stammered, terror leaking into her voice. “Statues… monsters… chasing me…” she curled and started crying. I narrowed my eyes.
Shit’s about to get ugly.
“Those Angels are getting the living shit beaten out of them!” I shouted, startling everypony but Applebloom and Zecora. Twilight cocked her head.
“Weeping Angels,” I explained impatiently, “Are creatures nearly as old as the universe itself. They evolved with a perfect survival mechanism: they turn to stone whenever they’re being looked at.” Twilight looked disbelieving, so I pointed to the window. Three grey pegasi were frozen in place, staring at the house with menacing fangs. Fluttershy whimpered and curled up like Applebloom. “Now, everypony got their position in your head? Turn away from the window.” I waited until everypony was looking away from the windows. I blinked once. 
The grey pegasi moved with alarming speed. I was lucky I cast a one-way transparency spell on my eyelids, or I wouldn’t be able to catch them at all. Once my eyes actually opened, they resumed their stony appearances, literally inches away from the window. Rainbow shouted and wheeled backwards; the other girls huddled closer together. I trotted out the window with a strip of cloth. Securing it over my eyes, I called out to the house.
“Pinkie, put on track 11.”
I immediately heard the opening bars of I Am The Doctor and grinned to myself.
“HELLO, EVERFREE!” I shouted, undoubtedly getting the attention of the now-mobile angels. “Whoever takes the filly has their feast. But, bad news everyone! ‘Cause guess who?” I barked out a laugh. “Now, you all are mulling about and stomping up a storm, and it’s really quite distracting. So, could you all sit still for a minute, because I! AM! TALKING!” hundreds of paw and hoofsteps stopped. I guessed by now half the Everfree Forest was in the clearing. “Now. Question of the hour: Who’s got Applebloom? Answer: I do. Who’s coming to take her from me? COME ON!” I shouted, probably startling the nearest creatures. “Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don’t have: anything to lose. So, while you’re sitting over there in your silly little packs with all your silly little claws, just remember who’s standing in your way. Just imagine every dark day I will ever torment you. And then. AND THEN! Do the smart thing.” The forest was now deadly quiet as every living thing stopped to listen to my declaration. “Let somepony else try first.” I swiped off the blindfold, laughing inwardly. All of the animal were sitting there, stunned. The hydra was looking a little afraid. But my best laugh came from the Angels. They were kneeling in a praying position. I knocked one on the head and turned. 
“Basically, run.” They all complied without question. When I turned, the Angels were gone too. I walked back into the house, my stress and anger levels now considerably lower. The mares gaped at me.
“And that,” I concluded, “is how you scare every living thing in the Everfree Forest shitless.” I took a bow. Applebloom rushed up to me, all fear faded.
“That was awesome, Andrew!” she yelled, hugging me around the neck. I smiled and hugged back. Then a flash of pain burst from my foreleg, and I dropped to the ground.
“FUCK!” I yelled, cradling my foreleg. Apparently, one of the Angels hadn’t gotten the message. I grinned, rivulets of blood running to the ground.
“Kill me slowly, huh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at the statue. “Wow. I must be really important if you aren’t just going to feed off my potentials.”
Of course, the Angel didn’t say anything back. It just stood there, a twisted sneer on its face. “Girls, get back.” I spoke with such finality it surprised even me. They all shrank back, even Zecora. I focused all the magic I could into my horn and touched the tip to the Angel’s forehead. It started glowing, then exploded. Coughing, I raised my head. Dust clung to my mane.
“What did you do?” Twilight asked nervously.
“I fed it,” I said. “Weeping Angels feed off of energy: radiation, kinetics, magnetics, the works. What happens when you stuff too much food into an already full stomach?”
“It… explodes…” Twilight stammered. Comprehension dawned on her violet face, and she looked at me with a combination of admiration, jealousy and fear. “You’re a genius.”
“I have my moments.” I tried standing, but my leg wouldn’t allow it. AJ snapped to my side.
“Let me help ya, partner,” she said. “Think of it as payment for helpin’ me on tha’ mountain.” I leaned on her gratefully. Zecora fixed the gals an herbal bath for the Poison Joke. 
About an hour later, we were all ready to hit the hay. As we trotted out of the forest, I turned for just a moment.
“Zecora!” I shouted. “That was the best tea in the multiverse!”
With that, we headed back home. I asked AJ if we could stop by the Doctor’s new house on our way back. When he answered the door I gave him a few bits.
“Payment for letting me ponify and use your ‘Pandorica’ speech,” I explained. He looked at me with a mixture of shock and outrage.
“You used my most influential, famous and inspiring speech without even telling me?!” he shouted. I nodded.
“In the process, I did manage to blow up an Angel, though.” He looked at me critically, then nodded.
“It’s not like anything I say will ever sink in, so…” he slammed the door in my face. I grinned wickedly and returned to AJ’s side. 
About a half-hour later, we returned to the farm. Applebloom went off to bed the second she entered the house, but AJ stayed downstairs to help me bandage my leg. I winced as she pulled on the gauze, knotting it.
“Thanks,” I said softly. I turned to teleport, but a hoof on my uninjured leg stopped me. I turned around to a small, slightly nervous smile.
“Ya know,” she said, “Ya still owe me from all those jokes on me bein’ little.” She leaned closer, our noses touching in the cool moonlight. I could feel her warm breath on my mouth as I leaned in as well. 
The second our lips touched, it sufficed to say my mind went completely and utterly blank. We just sat there for a moment, kissing like our lives depended on it. When we finally broke to gasp for air, I managed a weak laugh.
“You know, AJ,” I started, “I never thought my first kiss would be a pony.” I stopped for a moment. “Then again, I never thought I would find a pony totally gorgeous, so…” she laughed and kissed me again. Though this one was a little less desperate, I still felt the same contentment in my chest, right where my heart is.
I broke the kiss and nuzzled her affectionately. I used magic to bring a blanket downstairs and draped it across the two of us. She snuggled closer to me in the cool room. The last things I heard before falling asleep were the crackling fire and AJ’s soft breathing.


A/N
Thank God, there’s another update! I want to say how sorry I am for keeping you guys waiting so long. Unfortunately for me, I have writer’s block, and it’s been a hectic week. Nevertheless, I hope that I’ll be able to bust out a few good chapters before school starts for me. I’d like to thank BBC, and more specifically, Doctor Who, for giving me the idea for the speech. Also, I’d like to give a shout-out to rainbowdash_25, ozpakko, UltimaReborn, High_Wind, Lavram, and everypony else who’s read this story. Thanks, guys!