//------------------------------// // Fed-ex // Story: Rabbit's Cornucopia // by TDR //------------------------------// Fed-ex [Somewhere] This sucked, the man thought. Out of all the times to be fired, it had to be on his birthday, not a day after his girl friend dumped at his moms funeral, and they had just had to put his dog down that morning too. It was one string of disasters after another. “I wish I was dead.” The man muttered. “BEEP BEEP!”Said the truck. “What?” WHUMP!!! The truck didn't slow as the driver lifted a gloved hand up as she clicked on a PDA. She glanced to the read out and cursed to herself. “Dammit, that one went after Pinkie, should have known he was crazy.” “HEY LOOK OUT!” The man shouted, diving forward to shove the old lady out of the way. “AHHH, MY HIP!” The old lady screamed as she was shoved out of the way. “BEEP BEEP.” Said the truck. WHUMP!!! The PDA blinked on and the woman sighed. “Rainbow Dash?” the female grumbled. “I could have sworn she was lesbians with Apple Jack.” The girl was lost in thought as she looked over her phone. Not seeing the truck. “BEEP BEEP.” Said the truck. WHUMP!!! “Wait .. DISCORD!? She wound up with DISCORD?” the female driver grumbled. “I need to work in a different part of town.” “That will be eighty dollars.” The cashier stated. The woman nodded and paid the dark haired man behind the counter cash in small bills, before heading back out to the truck that was not being filled with gas. The liquid instead flooded out from the nozzle, coating the ground as it ran across the pavement to the propane tanks. The truck roared to life as the driver took off, flicking a lit cigarette out the window as she went. The large box truck rounded the corner as the station, against all safety regulations and cut off valves, went up like a movie prop. “BEEP BEEP.” said the truck as the fireball lit up the night. “Fuck, a harem. I'm not saving that one.” the woman fussed tossing the PDA into the passenger seat. The man looked over the merchant's wares. Why this odd dude had a cosplay stand set up outside the con he wasn't sure, maybe he just lucked out with a vendor who couldn't get into the show floor, though the Resident evil merchant cosplay he had was spot on. “Hey is that a...” the man started to ask pointing at something on the table. “BEEP BEEP.” Said the truck. WHUMP!!! “HEY, THAT ONE WAS MINE!” The merchant shouted only for the truck driver to stick her hand out the window, middle finger extended as she drove on. “Huh, that one went for Celestia. FINALLY. All these nerds always seem to shoot for Luna. Bout time the princess of the sun got some love.” “Daddy can we get some ice cream?” “Oh that bad huh? So how did you day go?” “I'm starting to understand all those after school specials about high school.” “Uh oh, and how far are you from your goth phase?” “Maybe a week.” “BEEP BEEP.” Said the truck. BOOM!!! “Oh a twofer. Hmmm” the female considered looking at the PDA. “Oh come on, in a town of eligible mares he picks Rarity!?!? Freaking drama queen. Oooh! Wait... his daughter hooked up with Spike! YES!!! Mission accomplished!” the woman cheered. “Beep Beep”Said the truck. The garage door opened and the large truck drove in stopping with a screech of brakes before cutting off with a dull rumble. The woman stepped out of the truck as the garage door slowly closed behind it. She strode across the small garage tossing the keys to a well dressed man standing near the door leading further into the building. “Make sure you have Truck-kun cleaned up, washed, and ready for the next trip by Thursday.” the woman ordered. “Of course m'lady.” the man bowed as the woman walked past him through the door entering into a well furnished house, the woman ignored this and moved down the hall to a door. Opening the door she stepped into an empty room with a single large mirror against the far wall. She strode forward stepping into and through the mirror with little care, her body shifting and reforming into a four legged form. The alicorn mare stretched her wings with a faint wince. “Ugh it always feels good to come back to this.” “There you are!” The mare turned looking towards the pink alicorn mare trotting towards her, the purple, magenta and yellow mane curled up perfectly as she walked, the form of a goddess most stallions drooled over. Not a far cry from the drivers own lithe form with it's gradient of light cerise to grayish violet mane and it's light arctic blue highlights. “I told you I was headed out mom.” The mare offered, the smile on Flurry Heart's face wide. “ Some pony has to keep up with the boats.” “I really don't understand this nautical interest of yours dear.” Cadence smiled back. “But good news, your uncle Spike is getting married.” “Oh? Do tell.” Flurry grinned. “Seems he had a thing for that dragoness girl whose Kirin dad married Rarity a bit ago and they just never told any one they were dating. Isn't that wonderful? Now if only we could find some pony for Twilight.” “I'm working on it mom.” Flurry chuckled.