//------------------------------// // — Chapter Thirty-Six — // Story: Finding Friendship // by Kamen-Zero //------------------------------// --- The Looking --- The world around Twilight Sparkle was nothing more than a simple blur of light and color as she raced through town in her frenzied pursuit. Her singed cloak waved widely in the breeze caused by her haste, the alicorn fighting through the pain of her recent injury to her right foreleg. She didn't exactly have a lot of time to properly dress the wound, settling instead for a few quick layers of gauze and a couple of effective—but uncomfortable and slow-acting—healing spells she had been able to hastily recall in the heat of the moment. It wasn't pleasant in any sense of the word, in fact, it even made the wound sting and burn more then it would have otherwise. But momentary creature comforts were far from a luxury Twilight could afford at the moment. Not with the current crisis she had to deal with. I'm such an idiot, she silently screamed at herself, how could I let this happen?! Every hurried step and haggard breath brought the alicorn only more anxiety and guilt, her mind throwing an unending stream of hypothetical ways she could have averted this tragedy. What she could have said, what she could have done, every possible way she could have stopped this from happening at all went through her head. Not that any of it really mattered anymore, what was done was done. Nothing could change that. No matter how badly Twilight wished she could go back and fix her mistakes. And that was what hurt more than anything else right now, the fact that all of this was her fault in the first place. Her outbursts, her utter failure in explaining things, each and every single thing that had gone wrong today was absolutely her fault. She had to fight every last desire and instinct that screamed at her to call out Spike's name in hopes the little guy would respond, but she couldn't bring herself to act upon these powerful impulses. Even in this trying time, lost in the torrential sea of her own chaotic emotions, there was still some strand of rationale that prevented her from blowing Spike's cover. He couldn't have gotten far, he has to be around here somewhere! The alicorn continued to tell herself this in a fruitless effort to try and steady her agitated nerves, continuing to check just about every nook and cranny that looked even remotely big enough for Spike to worm his way into. These locations were anything and everything from bushes to large baskets and even a fruit-stand or two. Not a stone was left unturned in her search, some of which earned her an understandable amount of questions and scolding from the citizens of Ponyville. Most of which Twilight either just blatantly ignored or replied with a hastily half-hearted apology. Again, she didn't really care about anything else at the moment. If nothing else though, the lack of any dragon-related panic going on at least meant that Spike hadn't been found by anyone else as of yet. That was one thing that Twilight could hold onto in this trying time. "Where in the world did he even go?!" The alicorn growled at herself through clenched teeth, shaking her head in mixed disappointment and frustration as she yet again failed to find her lost dragon, this time in yet another patch of shrubbery. The urge to lash out of pure unadulterated fury was a strong one, and it took every ounce of strength she had left to not do so. Her logic was simple, she had enough problems to deal with today and she didn't need to deal with the complications of causing severe property damage. The cloaked alicorn sighed, continuing to ignore the onward glances she was getting from wayward townsfolk around her. She understood that she needed to calm down, as hard as it was to even consider that a possibility. Even the act of just trying to slow down and think rationally was a harrowing task in and of itself, as every inch of her body refused to stop shaking from the tension and anxiety building up within her. But even still she tried, as the alicorn had a truly brilliant mind that she needed to work properly right now. And as she fought the urge to limp as she strode through Ponyville, the distraught equine was at least able to formulate the question that might lead to her salvation. "Where would he even go?" The billion-bit question, if ever there was one. Ponyville may have been a small town in comparison to larger settlements like Canterlot, it was still a fairly large village. A fairly large village where Twilight's own settlement was fairly close to the center, meaning that Spike could have gone just about anywhere depending on what direction he took off in. But the real question was where he would go, as redundant as it sounded. The last she saw of him, he was acting irrationally, and he was probably still being driven by emotion and impulse—much like Twilight herself at this very moment. He was probably scared and angry and most certainly looking for a safe place to hide if Twilight's hunch was correct. All of a sudden the metaphorical light flashed to light in Twilight's head, her eyes practically glowing as the idea came to fruition. In hindsight, it made almost too much sense considering the circumstances. If Spike wanted to feel safe right now, there was only one place in this town the cloaked alicorn could see him running off to in a time like this. The fact that she hadn't thought to look there first was mind-boggling to her, but she didn't have too much time to beat herself up right now. Ignoring the pain in her leg, the magical pony took off running as fast as she possibly could. And after several minutes of non-stop running, she was rewarded as a euphoric sense of hope swelled in Twilight's heart as her destination came into view—Fluttershy's humble cottage looking more like a sanctuary than it ever had before. There was no other place in the world she could imagine Spike would go right now, as the yellow pegasus had been an undeniable source of support for the two over their stay in Ponyville. All because of a simple act of kindness on the pegasi's part after another of Twilight's spectacular failures. If anyone could help Twilight right now, it was this mare. And this dependence on the other equine was made evident enough by Twilight's enthusiastic—to put a word to it—beatdown upon Fluttershy's front door. And the wait for the mare to come and investigate that series of loud bangs was agonizing in its own right. And when that door was swung open to reveal the now distressed looking pegasus within, Twilight couldn't help but feel a little bit of baseless hope that her dragon would be here. "Have you seen Spike?!" Twilight wasted no time in blurting out her question, not even giving Fluttershy the chance to even address her. "I don't know where he is, and I can't find him anywhere!" Her words were fast, warbly, and practically on the verge of being incomprehensible gibberish. "T-Twilight? What's going on?" The pegasus was distressed by Twilight's tone so much that she clearly hadn't caught onto what had been said through it. "Why are you—" "Agh, I don't have time for this!" The cloaked pony wasn't so nice in pushing her way into Fluttershy's home, her head darting up and down and all around in any search for her missing companion. "Spike?! SPIKE?! ARE YOU HERE?!" The only answers she was given was the chatter and clamor of the various animals that held residence here and how they responded to her shouting. Which wasn't well, scattering away from the sudden and noisy intruder and her outcries. But it was these outcries that got Fluttershy's attention, bringing a similar look of distress to her face. "Twilight, what's going on? Shouldn't Spike be with you?" "He ran away..." Twilight was able to choke out in her panicked state, still looking high in low for some sign of the dragon who clearly wasn't here. Instead, she turned back towards Fluttershy to maybe try and continue the explanation. "And now I don't know where he is... I didn't know where else to look!" The pegasus remained silent for a short while, the worried look upon her face only growing more so with time. "Does... he even know how to get here?" The question wasn't an unreasonable one, it actually made quite a bit of sense in the grand scheme of things. A fact that was made soberingly clear to Twilight the second the words hit her ears, silencing every voice in her head in an instant. It was a damning realization that would have been obvious enough if it wasn't in the midst of this mental breakdown, and Twilight was ready to kick herself hard for not realizing this sooner. After all, what reasonable reason was there for Spike to know how to get to Fluttershy's cottage? Every time he and Twilight came here, the long dragon was carried over within the confines of Twilight's saddlebag. Her dark, vision-blocking saddlebag. A measure to keep his existence a secret from prying eyes. Another secret of Twilight's that served to hurt Spike in the long run. The cloaked pony found herself actually laughing at the absurdity of this whole situation and how quickly she had clung to the delusion that Spike would have been here, slowly chuckling like a madmare at this waking nightmare she found herself trapped in. With time the soft laughter transformed into light sobbing as the weight and dread of these circumstances came to fall upon her shoulders. Her knees shuddered and shook before finally giving up the ghost, forcing the alicorn into a seated position with a thump. Her son was gone, lost and likely afraid, aimlessly wondering around because he didn't know his way around all because of Twilight's sheer incompetence as a guardian. She didn't care that this was the third pony she had cried in front of today, nor did she even recognize that Fluttershy was even here at the moment. She was too far gone at this point, the wrenching in her chest making it impossible to care about anything other than this plight she had woven for herself. "And what do you mean he ran away? Why would he—" The pegasus had her questions interrupted by yet another knock on her door, not quite as frantic as Twilight's previous attempt to get her attention but still noticeable enough. At first, Fluttershy wanted to ignore the newest visitor to console her current one, but when the knocking began to intensify she was left with no other choice. "I'll be right back... sorry..." The apology didn't mean much to Twilight right now, and she hardly even noticed as the pegasus went to attend to her other guest. No, Twilight was too far gone right now to even think about worrying about such trivial matters. Anguish and self-pity enveloped every fiber of her being, alongside a wave of unbearable despair. A powerful tightness began to grow in her chest as she glared down at the floorboards, making it harder to breathe in this dire time. Her heavy breathing was one of the only sounds that reached her ears alongside the heavy pounding of her heartbeat. Spike's gone. That was something that was finally beginning to sink in for what it really was. A deathly shiver ran down her spine and through her hidden wings, sitting there trying to deny the reality of her situation. It wasn't something she wanted to come to terms with, and she wished with all her heart that this nightmare would just end already. Her son was gone, she had no idea of where in the world he could have gone, and she had spent far too much time on this last-ditch effort. And with this lead proven to be a dead-end, she didn't know what else to do. "What am I gonna do?" The alicorn asked of herself, rocking back and forth as the hopelessness continued to grow. "What's he gonna do?" Some time passed before Fluttershy came back from whatever it was she was doing, a pensive look of anxiety strewn over her face. Whatever had happened at the front door had clearly caused her some kind of distress, not that Twilight was in any state of mind to care about someone else's troubles at the moment. The pegasus began to pace back and forth before her distracted guest, looking to be unsure of exactly what to say. She would start a sentence, only to quickly bite her lip with a groan before going back to pacing. This indecision was finally broken through and Fluttershy spoke at last. "Twilight?... I think I might know where Spike went..." The change in her demeanor was immediate, and Twilight bolted back up to a standing position at lightning speed. Her wide, pleading eyes drilled their way into Fluttershy's own, practically begging for the information that had just been promised. It very clearly wasn't necessary for Twilight to ask for a follow-up, but that didn't stop her from asking the question anyway. But the newfound sense of hope in Twilight was diluted by Fluttershy meekly sinking into herself. Whatever new information she had been presented with just now must not have been quite what Twilight was looking for. It was an impossibly long time before Fluttershy was able to muster up the courage to speak up again, and what she said could have killed Twilight right then and there if words could kill. "Do you want the good news or bad news?"