Note: This happens three days after the last chapter.
**human world**
Tristan has been busy these past weeks, after the mission in Poland, he has been running around like a sheepdog keeping a flock of dimwitted sheep under control, by trying to keep the others alive. Only good thing that came out from all of this is they reunited the husband with his wife and children, but Tristan would've preferred doing that without having to deal with several badly wounded— oh and the whole soul split bullshit again.
Well, he's not really suffering with it. He knows the trick on how to merge the souls, and he doesn't really have an issue with himself anymore.
Still dealing with family issues but through their latest conversation, that part of his life will never be fixed. He and father are both too stubborn in how they live their lives, so maybe it's best they stay out of each way.
The soul split is annoying, but for now, Tristan can appreciate having another set of hands.
He walks into the area where Sophia is and as always: Francis is by her side. Understandable but the man is so set on staying by her side that he forgets to tend his own bodily needs. He nudges Francis awake and tells the Dane bluntly. "Get some food and sleep." He steps over to their female spy and checks her healing back, the bird's strange corrosive poison will leave a nasty scar but with enough care and time his student will survive and that's what matters. "I don't want to tend you for something that can easily be fixed." Francis grumbles something on Danish, one of the few languages Tristan hasn't learned and thus no idea what the man said, didn't really matter though. He much rather wants the man to tend himself instead of him having to play the hen-mother. "Get out, and don't come back until you have at least one solid meal and six hours of sleep."
"Som om man kan sove i det her skide vejr…" Francis grumbles but does leave to get both things before Tristan decides to throw him out.
With the engineer out, Tristan returns to tend Sophia and when done, he leaves and does pass the Fortress heavy who sits outside the containment room he made for their medic, fallen asleep.
Tristan sighs softly, he does feel sorry for the Fortress team now that he has seen this team is as close Vanguard members are with one another, in their own way of course. None of them knows if Josef either wakes from his deep coma or he will die again, for good this time.
Ignis succeed in getting the man to a respawn area and he came back to life but, well a respawn failure happened. Tristan is not sure if Josef is even alive, the man didn't react when he made tests on how deep of a coma he was in. He's pretty sure the man is brain dead but team Fortress refused to give up on him, so Tristan has kept him alive and will continue doing so as long there is hope for the German. It is tricky to keep Josef alive though, not only is he in a vegetable state but his immune defense is none existence, so in order to ensure the German does not die from bacteria they could be carrying, only his other can be near Josef; at least until he gets the immune system up and running again.
"/How long have you been here?/" He asks Mikhail in Russian, there is only for so long he can handle the broken grammar the man has when speaking English.
Heavy must admit he did get startled hearing Vanguard medic's voice, he didn't even hear the man coming. And here he thought Josef has light feet but he got nothing on Tristan. Heavy was mostly only planning on checking up on Josef for a moment but from how sour his back is, it's clear he has been here longer than expected. "/What time is it?/" He asks the other doctor, glancing to the room where Tristan's other tends to Josef.
Heavy can't help feeling like he caused this on Josef.
He should've been the one who died and got trapped in that containment room… instead, his doctor sacrificed himself for him… he knows Josef do not fear death, he has never been afraid to die. No… Josef was afraid to live…
Heavy thinks back to their past conversations back in the War Games, how they first teamed up and became team Fortress power duo, how they, over time fell for one another. Heavy knew rather quickly that he fancied the doctor but never made his move as he thought for a long time that Medic did not share his feelings. He had been content they were strictly friends though, but that all changed in Coldfront. After a small incident, they both knew that they felt more than friendship to one another, but Josef has been so afraid, so afraid to be attached to anyone.
Heavy helped him get through this fear of his, helped him to get closer to the team and yes Josef began to enjoy the others company more, but their relationship didn't really go anywhere. Josef was too afraid, and Heavy admit… so was he, the fear was different though. He dreaded what would happen if anyone found out, people like them are seen as mentally sick and needed to be fixed… by any means possible.
Fear has been part of their lives, that did change when they arrived in a safer environment of Equestria. They saw that homosexual is not frowned upon in that world and Heavy must admit, it made him feel hopeful. Josef felt it too and got more relaxed as well. For some reason, he stopped having nightmares and that really improved on his mood.
Of course the nightmares and fear returned when they came back after they returned to their own world, Heavy has a feeling it got worse after they met team Vanguard. He has never seen Josef so… skittish before and that tore him up, well aware there was nothing he could do as team Vanguard had any reason to distrust the doctor, but it didn't change the fact that Heavy hated the feeling of helplessness.
"/About an hour./" Tristan replies, casts a glance to his other who once again checked the German for any life signs, his other meet his eyes and slowly shakes his head. Still no life sign. Makes him wonder if they are merely keeping a dead man breathing? He returns back to the large man. "/If anything changes, you will be the first to know./" Figures Mikhail deserves the news first, Jack does consider this man as team Fortress leader. And as the boss of the team, Tristan knows the man should have the news if he should think about if they should find themselves a new medic.
Heavy is very close to saying he wants to stay but… what's the point really? Tristan is the best for this job and he is probably just standing in the way.
It feels wrong it's not Josef tending to the wounded, though. "/Anything, no matter how small./" He tells the other doctor hard, gets up from the chair but does linger. Tristan's other still has Josef's eyes open and it pains him so much at not seeing any life in them, they are empty… makes him wonder if the man he loves still is in there? Is he trapped inside his own body or did the respawn fail to save the mind and all they are keeping alive is a lifeless body? For now Heavy vote for the first option, he is not ready to give up on the doctor, he's not ready to say goodbye. Not sure if he ever be… but like back in the War Games, Heavy knows he at some point has to and move on without his beloved doctor.
He just never thought it would happen right when they began to feel safer around people with their relationship.
He leaves the room, allowing the Vanguard medic to tend to the wounded.
With nothing else to do, Heavy decides he might as well head to this base gym and do a bit of boxing.
He does stop for a short moment, eyes caught the sight of the other heavy talking to Vanguard's pyro in a way that makes Heavy quite certain the man has been worrying for his friend. Rune gives his fellow team member a weak smile along with a few words, and whatever he said is enough to make Wei relax and they both leave to wherever they are going.
Watching the two, Heavy can't help but think about back when he and Josef were merely friends, they were pretty much the same way, except their relationship has changed after they both realized they saw each other more than friends. It is quite the pity their love life never can get to the level they both wishes, and as things stand now… maybe they'll never get the chance.
Heavy do however doubt the Vanguard heavy and pyro are more than just friends, the way the pyro lightly hits the heavy from whatever the man said looks more to be how a brother react on a teasing remark. Heavy leaves the two, and although he is sad about the current situation, he is glad Josef choose to save the Vanguard members, the heavy would've lost a close friend and the engineer his own lover.
It is however not in Josef nature to help people who are aggressive towards him, so Heavy do think his doctor did it both to ease the tension between the two teams and in a way force Francis to help him out. According to the cowboy dressed man, that rage-fueled fire of his was able to remove the bird's acid. Josef must've seen that and even though Heavy is sure Josef hated to do it, he must've known helping the other team would get him the best outcome. At least that's what Heavy likes to think what went through the doctor's mind.
Leaving the hallway, Heavy walks towards the gym, he does stop at the sound of who he presumes is Jack training… aggressively.
He hesitates but do push open the door and steps inside.
He indeed finds Jack training without his uniform on, only a pair of training pants and wrappings around his hands as their own scout did when out fighting. Vanguard's scout is practicing his close combat even though it looks more like he's trying to kill that training dummy, Heavy is not sure what got the man so worked up or this is just how he is.
"Want be alone?" He asks the scout, no wish in intruding if this is Jack's private time.
Jack stops midway in a kick on the dummy, he did hear the door open but honestly had been expecting Garry from has returned from his scouting mission. He puts down his leg and turns to the man, as expected the heavy's eyes wide of how his chest and side looks like. "No, in fact, this will be a good chance for us to talk." He replies simply and returns back to his training, ignoring the stares from the heavy, he's not ashamed of this old scar, plus it's a good reminder that war is hell.
…. Okay, Heavy did not expect that Jack had any battle scars other than the small cut over his right eye, and especially not one that should belong to Demo from the times he got too drunk around his bombs. The blue scout's chest and part of the right side look to have been partly blown up and then someone made a poor attempt fixing it by putting lines of skin over the ruined flesh. Where did Jack get that kind of scar? Can't have been from the War Games, such wounds often spell clear death and it would've been removed after a respawn. Jack must've gotten it before he became a scout for Mann Co, but what could've caused such a scar? Either a bomb or heavy artillery.
Realizing he has been staring, Heavy shift his gaze away from the large scar, walks over to the punching bag and begins to train a bit. He does not stop but do pay more attention when Jack begins to speak again.
"The USSR is starting to get too close for comfort, I've sent my sniper out to assess the situation but it's not looking good." Jack punches the dummy over the arm before he turns to Mikhail. "They are looking for us and that's the issue. We can still leave unnoticed but doing so your medic will die as Tristan won't have a chance to bring the equipment needed for him. Our female spy is weak so the chance of her dying is great as well if we decide to get away before the USSR surrounds us." The Russian frowns deeply in disapproval of this very thought and Jack fully can relate, he does not like the idea of abandon any one of his team behind either. But as a team leader… he has to think about what will be best for the team as a whole. "If we stay and fight, then we might be able to keep them at bay, at least until they bring the tank. That thing can blow right through the building and destroy the respawn. If that happens: we all will be fucked." So here comes the big question: "What do you want to do?"
Heavy is confused why the scout asks him and not Miss Pauling. "Why ask me?" He asks the man. Now it's Jack's turn to frown.
"You are their team leader—"
"No, Miss Pauling lead team." Heavy argues back, he has never tried to take that role. The look on Jacks face shows he thinks otherwise.
"Mikhail, you were the one everyone listened to when you decided to speak and they obeyed. You might not consider yourself it, but I recognize a team leader when I see one." The Russian still does not look convinced, so Jack tells him as he begins to train his hand-to-hand combat again on the dummy. "Even if Miss Pauling is your team leader, she won't be doing much as long she can't be in the same room with her other. You requested I saw your team as comrades and I will, but you people have to decide who has the command in your group."
"We do not have team leader." Heavy stubbornly argues, they haven't ever needed one during the War Games. They did what they did and sometimes end up working together but none of them took command— well Soldier tried but no one took that idiot seriously. "We do not need one." It's often chaotic but they somehow made it work.
"Yes, you do!" Jack snaps back, now he's annoyed on this team's shortsightedness. that lack of leadership might have worked during the War Games but not out here. "An army without a commander is as useful as a bucket of water is against a forest fire! Your lack of leadership is the reason why your sniper is dead!" Mikhail steps forward in a threading manner but Jack has faced guys big as this one many times over and does not even flinch from the looming man or his deep thundering voice. "I am NOT team leader." and Jack retorts back with a question. "Do you think the remaining two are better for the job?" The look in the Russian eyes says everything. "Whatever you like it or not; I see you as a team leader and as one; you have to think what's best for your team."
Silence.
Jack leaves the large man's shadow and heads over to fetch his shirt. "If you do not figure this out soon then I will make a choice for both teams and without a commander, you cannot overrule my decision." He turns back to Mikhail, eyes hard and so is his voice as this is a serious issue. "And you won't like what my choice is."
Heavy stares back at the scout in disbelief of what Jack is going to do. He wants to ask Miss Pauling to tell the scout they cannot leave but as Jack said: she cannot do much as long she's dealing with the split soul issue. Demo and Pyro are more followers and Medic is completely out of commission and besides… the only people Josef ever commanded around were the people he healed.
Jack leaves the room with: "Whoever is your team leader can take this up with me."
Heavy fists his hands, he really wants to argue but… he's not… the others do not listen to him! In the team's eyes; he is the big dumb Russian who likes his gun.
Leaving the gym, Heavy heads out to find Demo and explains the scot about the conversation he had with the blue scout but he is not sure if Demo fully heard him what his main issue is about all of this.
"Tell the scout we have to stay and fight." Demo says, takes a swig of his scrumpy and swings it towards the deeply frowning man. "We have respawn here, and we have taken down bigger guns than what this army has to offer."
"That is not problem." Heavy grumbles, he knows that if it came to it then they can and will fight the USSR but they won't stay if no one argues with Vanguard's scout. "Jack will not stay and fight army."
"So I heard." Demo replies and although he does question the scout about it, he does not feel it's his place to argue. "I wonder why he rather wanna flee with tails between his legs than stand and fight?" The Vanguard scout does not seem like the coward type.
"Vanguard not made for attack like us" Heavy answers from the observation he has made from the other team. They are specialized in infiltration and defense compared to team Fortress who is more frontal assault and reckless creativity. Vanguard is only deadly if the enemy does not know what they are dealing with and for some reason the soldiers he heard in Warsaw; the army knows exactly what they are dealing with when it comes to these two teams.
That has put team Vanguard on the disadvantage and thus Jack rather does a tactical retreat to fight another day.
Demo hesitates for a second in his move from what Heavy has said. "Huh, I wasn't aware of that." and he takes another swig. "So, what is it really you are asking?" He asks the big guy as it's rather clear Heavy didn't come here to relax. "Surely you're not here for a drink."
Heavy shakes his head. "No, here to ask."
"And that is?"
"Who team leader?"
Demo stop midway in drinking his scrumpy, that question did take him a bit off guard. He eyes the big guy slowly and Heavy explains. "Blue scout only hear team leader, but we do not have one."
True, yeah sure some of them does take charge if the situation calls for it but taken full command? "What about Miss Pauling?" He asks, thinking she is the closest they have to one bossing them around.
Heavy let out a sight, even if it sounds like distant thunder. "Deal split soul, and, not enough experience on lead."
Yeah, Demo did take notice of that back when they were hired to find Australium for the Administrator. Miss Pauling is good at keeping track on data but she does not have the charismatic in leading a team into battle. "True, she's not that good at leading but she does make a good supervisor."
That Heavy can agree on, thanking Demo for the chat, he leaves but does stop when Demo points out much to his surprise. "Jack does have a good point though, about you being best for the job." Heavy glances back to the scot, a bit surprised of those words but he does not reply on Demo, instead he leaves for those words have given him something to think about.
He does the thinking in the place's armory and workshop, tinkering with the minigun. It's an old model and has rusty spots several places but some new parts and elbow grease and this gun will be out singing in no time. He decided to call this old girl Emiliya and is sure the two of them soon will appreciate one another.
The door opens and Heavy glances up for only a moment to see who it is before he returns back to repairing Emiliya.
Francis eyes the heavy for a moment as well, then like the Russian he walks over to work on his shotgun. For a while nothing but their tools against the weapons can be heard, the silence between them breaks when Francis remarks from his spot. "I see Tristan chased you out too." Mikhail nods slowly but does not reply, no real surprise there, but Francis does feel like he owes the guy at least something. "I'm sorry about your medic, to be honest, I hadn't expected him to pull off such a stunt."
Does look up from his work when Mikhail makes a dark remark. "You hate doctor." and he tells the man. "Not anymore." Much to the man's confusion, so he will elaborate. "I loathe what he did, I won't deny that but I cannot hate a man who not only saved the lives of two of my team members— even if it was simply to gain favor from me in order to save the man he loves." That last word made Mikhail tense up and understandably; a lot of people have a negative view on homosexually. "He had the same look I have when Kreel gets herself in trouble. The determination to do whatever it takes." Francis remarks to how he realized this small fact but he isn't really bothered by it.
How many surprises does he have to get today? Now the man calling himself Cowboy reveals he knows about him and Josef… and he is completely chill about it. "You see no wrong?" He asks Francis utterly dumbfounded at this strange acceptance the man has about something most people would be disgusted about.
Francis shrugs. "I find it weird sure, but if that's what you like then I won't stop you." He tinkers a bit more with his shotgun and as he replaced the barrel. "I rather shoot the assholes who kiss Kreel when she's on the job."
Heavy can't help but chuckle at that remark, yeah he can see why Francis has an issue with that, he would too if someone else kissed his doctor. "I kill men if they did." His smile drops at the strange, dark but distance look Francis suddenly got.
His confusion grows when Francis suddenly asks. "Have you noticed my team do not have a soldier?" Heavy frowns lightly at this question, not sure where the man is going. "Half of team not mercs."
That Francis agrees on. "True, but back in the Gravel War, Team Vanguard was very much like yours: people smacked- and forced to work together in order to get our pay grade." The engineer puts down the shotgun and Heavy must admit he has forgotten about his minigun as well in what Francis is about to tell him.
"That all changed when I met Kreel. She was not officially part of the team, being a woman and all. Yet she was, what I understood, Tristan and Marcos were her mentors in becoming a spy." Francis smirks at the memories going through his head. "A long story short, let's say after some shenanigans, we fell in love."
"I do not understand why cowboy tell this." Heavy says.
"I'm getting to it." Francis brushes the confused man's words off and returns back to his small story. "Not long after we got ourselves a beautiful girl, had to keep it secret though. The Administrator is not the woman who likes that her mercs were forming families when they should be killing one another." Francis chuckles but struggles to keep the tears back of where this story is going. "Tristan and Marcos knew about this of course, and a good thing too as Marcos was such a big help taking care of Lilly when her parents were out murdering their clones."
"Where Lilly now?" Heavy asks slowly, dreading the answer, more so from what he heard Francis say to Jack back when they planned on saving Dell's kid.
Francis lets out a sigh. "Love is both a beautiful and horrible thing." He turns his back to the Russian man but does not stop on his story. "My team's soldier had also fallen in love with Kreel, mistook her teasing for real flirting. He was obsessed with her really and when I saw him try to kiss MY wife, I told him we were married and I would knock his teeth out if I ever saw him do that again. For a time he backed off. But his self-proclaimed love for her made him use- what I thought was a friendship as his ticket to get near her. I hate to say it but I let him get too close to what I truly cared about. If I knew how much obsessed he was at that point, I never would've let him see our daughter, let him play with her. In his delusion mind, he thought Kreel stayed with me because of Lilly so… so he killed her." and here comes the question: "What would you have done if you found your own child; beaten and broken on the floor. Realize the very person who did it was one who said he was your friend." Eyeing the man staring at him in disbelief. "What would you have done?"
Heavy knows exactly what he would've done, for he did it when the guards in the gulag killed his father and went for his mother and sisters. There was no mercy in his heart for those people, not even towards those who were innocent, all that mattered was the revenge and great need to protect what was left of his family. "Kill him worst way I know." He answers truthfully.
It seems this big guy knows the pain such a sight does to one… Francis takes a moment to regain his composure as this story still deeply upsets him. "That was the first time I truly felt hatred towards someone. If I had been able to make my flames, the whole battlefield would've been consumed by what rage and sorrow I'd felt from have found our little girl dead on the floor. It was clear who did it from how our soldier pretended to comfort Kreel in her grief. She reacted worse than me when she found out his support was all to get in bed with her, she was the one who lured him away from the respawn zone, out from the safety of not able to die; I lassoed him and dragged him off by my car. We both threw him to a pack of hungry wolves— watching him get torn apart was such satisfaction and yet…" He hides his face under the hat to hide his tears. "His death wouldn't bring back our little girl…!"
For what feels like forever, Heavy quietly watches the man before him struggles through his worst memories, he truly does feel for the man but something tells him Francis didn't tell him this to get pity but to make a point. And so right he is, for when Francis regain his composure and tells him with a shaken voice. "All of this hatred returned in full force when your medic tried to do his twisted experiments on Kreel. I took her place and you saw what he did to me. My hatred is not of what he did but what he could've done to my wife— what he did to her by torturing me. When I saw him again; I was more than ready to do the same thing to him we did to our soldier. The only thing that kept him from same fate was the fact he agreed on fixing his mistake." Francis scarred eyes meets Mikhail's darker shade of green compared to his own. "Letting go of my anger was easier this time, for in all honesty… all he did was making me worthless for my team and the resentment of my own situation could be fixed. He didn't kill an innocent little girl or the woman I love. If he had done that, nothing would've saved him from my wrath."
"Cowboy is right, love is cruel and beautiful." Heavy admits to the man, now finally understanding why both Francis and Kreel held such a deep grudge on Josef, the fear of losing the one they love, amplified from their loss of their child has been the fuel to their hatred and distrust against the doctor.
He knows how easy it is to hate someone but like Francis, he had to learn to let go as hatred can only destroy, not give those he love anything other than misery. "I know feeling. Lost father in gulag and still deal with it. Not sure how I can move on if doctor die." He admits, feeling Cowboy will understand those feelings— the dread to lose someone he is committed to more than anyone.
Francis nods he does understand, then with a sigh, the man stares back at some of his machines lying around on the table. "I am not much of a believer, but I do hope your medic will recover. Losing the one who holds your heart… it's not something you want to experience."
Heavy nods slowly, yet is somewhat unable to stop smiling at the thought that Josef had held his heart in a literary manner.
"What about you?" Cowboy suddenly asks. "Any side effects of your near-death experience?"
Heavy is not entirely sure how to reply to this. "Heavy still feel strange." He replies slowly. It was quite surreal really how he felt when he woke from have been knocking on death's door.
"Strange how?" Francis asks a bit confused at the answer, unlike Sophia, Mikhail does not have a single sign of he almost died. In fact, he did not even need to replace his hands— which were completely gone, rotted away he might add.
Heavy hesitate with the answer, he is not entirely sure how to explain how it felt when he first woke, how in some sense still feels. "I do not know how say it." He admits, he does not trust his limited English vocabulary to explain this correctly.
"Try the best you can."
Heavy hesitates but does try. "My body feel same and not. It's like a jacket, worn, have holes many places and some holes are very bad but you still like this jacket with all flaws. It is comfortable." Francis titles his head slightly but does not interrupt, instead, he listens quietly, allowing Heavy to continue. "My body like worn old jacket and doctor took old jacket, threw it out and gave me new one. It look like old, but it is not. I cannot see the difference, new jacket looks like old without holes. But something different. I do not recall old jacket have extra pocket or waterproof. It is small things but still enough I know something is different. New jacket is not my old jacket." And like this metaphor of his body is like a new jacket, not only are all of his scars gone, even those he got as a child. He keeps noticing changes, like how colors are slightly different than before. His taste buttons have changed too, not much but still enough for him to notice. He has no idea how Josef did it, only that the doctor has somehow changed his body, not enough for people to notice, but since this is his body, he takes notice of the subtle changes. So yes, when he woke, he did not exactly feel right, still doesn't, to be honest.
"So you feel like your body has been replaced with a new one?" Francis asks, mostly to be sure he got this correctly. Mikhail nods. "Yes, best way I can say." He muses and after a moment of silence, the big guy leaves. Francis must say that he cannot see any changes in Mikhail but he hasn't been around the man that long to know.
Heavy decides to take a shower, partly because he hasn't really gotten a proper one since he woke from the near-death experience but also to do more thinking of what he has learned today.
While cleaning himself up, Heavy keeps glancing at his hands, particularly the right one. He used to have a scar there, one he got back when he was just a kid. Got it during his first fistfight with one of the other kids, now only the memory remains. It's weird not having that old scar or any sign that he had lost his hands' thanks to that bird. He brushes his hands together, again astonished but also annoyed at how soft his skin has become, it's like a baby's skin. Not yet been worn from what life tends to throw at people. All of his body's story of scars has been removed, now only his memories are left about the hardship he has been through. "Мне не нравится эта новая куртка…" He grumbles softly, his body feels so foreign to him but whatever he likes it or not; this is how it is now. He starts drying off the water, annoyed he has lost any signs of what he has enduring in the past and he doubts he will get anything big as long he's connected to respawn. He brushes the towel over his chin and is reminded he needs a shaving. He would rather shave all hair off than have to stare at that large bald spot on his head, now the more annoying as he looks like one in the early thirties. But this lies in the male side of the family, his father had it too but wasn't bothered as Heavy is about the genetic flaw of going bald at an early age.
He wraps the towel around his waist, grabs a razor and removes the rim on the mirror so he can see what he will be doing— Heavy stops and stares at what is meeting him from the reflection.
It's not the lack of scars that caught him off guard, nor that he does not looks like a man past his prime.
No, what made him stare is the fact that what has been annoying him to no end, the only thing he has loathed about his own body… is no longer a problem. He brushes carefully his fingers through the stubbed brown hair, where the bald spot should've been.
Okay, this is a change he can greatly appreciate, however, this strange miracle is short-lived though and Heavy drops his gaze, feeling like his baboon heart is getting squeezed by his own chest.
He so much wants to embrace- kiss Josef for have done this miracle but he can't… he's not stupid of what is going on, even he can see that without any response from Josef, there is nothing inside that body they are currently keeping alive.
Is he doing the right thing?
Is Josef still in there but unable to show?
Parts of him hopes that's the case but another is starting to doubt it. The respawn has failed and when that happens there is only one way for the person: and that's death.
Heavy punches the wall right beside the mirror, the tiles break on impact but so does the skin on his knuckles, the pain helps a bit though. He eyes the bleeding hand, finding a strange solace in knowing this might leave a mark on his annoying smooth skin.
Then, out from the corner of his eye, he sees something from mirror. Heavy checks and his eyes wide of who he is seeing. "Doctor?" He spins around but Josef is not there, he's all alone in the bathroom.
**?**
He is walking in the same realm as where the faulty medigun brought him, the place where Celestia cast that spell on him and Twilight, but something is different, he can't put his finger on what, only that something is wrong.
"Anyone here?" He calls out to the universal void, but his voice gets swallowed by this mysterious void.
It is surreal to be here, yet also comforting. He know he is dead, he felt the respawn try and put him back together but… something went wrong.
Is this how a respawn failure is? Destined to walk in this endless realm until the day the machine shuts down? Not exactly how he thought how his punishment would be— if this is a punishment at all.
Does not feel like it to be honest. He might change his mind when he starts getting bored, but… putting a hand up to his chest, he does not feel anything, he can't feel if this place is cold or warm, he's not scared or in pain. He is simply here.
This is a strange thought, pretty sure he would've been curious or maybe a bit disturbed but… well, he feels nothing, can this emptiness be what he felt was wrong?
He begins to wander around this place again, no real reason to why he does it, maybe to find an exit or maybe to find someone else? He has no idea, only he is pretty sure that if he stops for too long; he will never move again.
Walking with no goal, no real reason, he suddenly realizes he's no longer alone.
Besides him walks Twilight Sparkle, he notices she is slightly bigger, horn longer and she has a pair of wings, but he feels nothing over these changes, thinks he would've been surprised though.
"Why are you here?" Twilight asks him in such a melancholy tone it did not sound like her.
"I died." He replies her and asks in return. "Why are you here?"
"I have always been here." Twilight replies, it's here he notices she has completely white eyes, no pupil or color, only this empty white.
Again he is pretty sure he should feel surprised, but he doesn't. So all he can do is talk to this being who decided to take the form of his pony partner. They keep walking this endless realm in silence for who knows how long, finally he breaks it by asking the being walking beside him. "Why am I here?"
"You died, but the machine keeps you alive." The being replies and eyes him with those white eyes. "Do you want to go back?" She asks.
Why does it sound like he has more options? "Are there other choices?"
Twilight nods. "Yes, but whatever choice you make, I cannot help you anymore." A crack in the realm appears and she points at the spot with a hoof. "Speak with the two holding your fate, one of them will tell you the two choices you have." and in a flash of light, she is gone.
He walks into the crack in the void
The next moment he finds himself standing before, well his own body.
This would've been incredibly fascinating if he could feel anything so all he got from experience this ghostly state he's in was the thought: 'This is new' to then think about how long before they turn off the machine that keeps his body alive. He guesses that all depends on how long he has been like this.
He is dead that much is clear, but this is not at all he expected. Thought he would end up in a place of fire and misery from all the horrible things he has done. Sure would serve him right, but no, instead he will be haunting around, looking for some sort of entity that can help him with his current situation.
A magpie suddenly flies past him and lands on the bed, it is incredibly beautiful he must admit that.
"I am Death." The magpie suddenly speaks, a voice neither young or old only it sounds female in his ears.
This time he felt something and that's amusement that what people made into a big scary scythe-wielding skeleton man is, in reality, a beautiful bird— well he at least considers magpies beautiful.
"You are not what I expected." He admits to the magpie claiming to be Death.
"The shape you see before you is how you want me to be. I am your Death." Death explains and walks closer to him. "I will be the one who takes you when your time has passed. Like my brother Life will stay by you as you walk through his realm."
Of course, there will be a being that represents life as well. He does wonder where his Life is? "And where is your brother?" He asks Death. "Will I need him to wake up?"
Death nods. "Yes, but reaching him will not be easy."
"Why?" He asks now confused about what Death means.
"You fear life." Death says simply, and he wants to argue against the magpie but no words leave his mouth, allowing it to continue on this statement.
"You only think about the darkness you have endured through your life, not knowing that with darkness is light, without pain, comfort cannot exist. You care only about me: your Death. Never cherished Life and so you only survive, never truly live."
Must admit, getting that truth slapped at his face is tough. But he needed to hear it.
Death takes flight and he follows the magpie, the bird stops at a door. "Your Life is in there." He blinks but does step into the room, what meets him makes him freezes up, the whole room is cold, the stench of burned flesh and in the corner of this dark nightmare room, he can hear the voices of these faceless victims he keeps having nightmares about.
Inside all of this, he sees Misha, looking to be dressing himself and not affected by what is around him. The man dries away the blood on a mirror, freezes up as their eyes meet. Misha turns around and there he sees his Life, what should've been a white dove like Archimedes now looks like those he killed, buried and then dug it up again after a few weeks. His Life looks horrible, to say the least. He is about to take a step towards Misha and Life but the increasing volume of the victims makes him turn heel and flee. Outside the place is back to normal, and Death is waiting for him, dropping down beside the magpie. "What was that?" He asks her.
"This is how you view life." Death replies and both turn their gaze to Misha who leaves the room, utterly confused about something and completely unaware of the zombie dove sitting on his shoulder. "In your eyes, Life is an ugly and scary thing."
"But why does he sit on Misha?" He asks Death, deep down he knows the answer but is too embarrassed to say it. His Death, however, is not one to hand him mercy. "Stop asking stupid questions." She huffs as he would when he feels like someone is wasting his time. "You know why Life is with this man."
… That is true, Misha has no idea how much power he has over him, how much he depends on the sense of protection he gives him. "Is that's the only reason I am still alive? Because of him?"
To his surprise Death shakes her head. "Once maybe." The magpie takes a few steps away from him. "But more people are now a big part of your life." And when Death said that, he begins to see memories of his team, how they began to help one another slowly during the War Games. Against the Administrator's commands, they made victory parties and holiday celebration and even had their share of fun with shenanigans they got themselves into by whatever mission Miss Pauling needed them on. He also sees the ponies from Equestria, thanks to them, the team's comradery strengthen.
Thinking about that, he realizes that he's not as alone as he thought he was.
Death walks up before him. "If you wish to live again, you have to confront what you saw in that room."
"And if I can't?" He asks, he does not consider himself a coward, but what Death is asking is something he has been dealing with for years and never had any idea how to get over. Is it something he ever can get over? He has changed sure, been less manic around people but he doubts he can ever get rid of the twisted side of himself.
Yes, the camp made him into a monster but deep inside, he knows that if he truly didn't want to do such experiments, he would rather have been killed. He likes to cut people up, play around with their bodies and see what happens if he does this and that. He might be a doctor, but he won't deny that he has so much fun running all manic on the battlefield. There is a thrill to it he has never experience outside of battle.
"Do Life want me to change?" He asks Death and wonders if these two eternities want him to stop going on these fun killing sprees.
Death rolls her eyes. "We do not bother with what you call moral, we do not punish or reward a saint or a murder." That makes sense, life and death do not care how one lives or dies, all that matters to them is this grand wheel of time. Death's black eyes meet his and she speaks again. "If you do not wish to pursue Life." The magpie walks over to a door, stops and says. "You can walk with me, and leave everything behind. You will find the peace you have been looking for in my embrace."
That is his two options, either he pursues Life; and endure what life itself likes to throw at people – or he gives up and— as Death said, he will leave everything behind, both the horrible but also… he turns to where Misha is talking with Miss Pauling… if he dies then the few wonderful things will disappear as well. He will never again feel the thrill of a battle, the glee when he tears some unlucky fool apart with his bonesaw. He will never feel the warmth of Misha again or be able to talk with any of the people and ponies friends he managed to make over these years. Yes, he will find peace in death and he would've gone with the magpie… if it wasn't for the fact that he wanted more time among the people he has come to care about.
"How much time is more time?" Death asks. He turns his gaze back to the magpie, and Death continues. "You are aware of time and yet you take it so much for granted that you do not cherish what you have before it is gone."
Death has a good point. He took his friends and the man he loves for granted, all thanks to the fear of something he now realizes he barely understands anymore.
"I got more time thanks to respawn." He answers Death and gets on his feet, eyeing the calmly watching bird. "And I am planning on enjoying every second of it." The magpie smirks. "That's more like it." and she flies away, disappearing into a void, not even he can see but one he knows Death will be watching, waiting till the day his life comes to an end. Knowing this magpie will be the one greeting him when that day comes is a comforting thought but today won't be the day he goes with it.
He turns to where the zombie dove is sitting, watching him with those half rotted eyes and taking a step towards it, his personal nightmare returns.
Turning to his left, he sees shadows of how he sees his past victims, moaning as it crawls towards him. He is scared but knows he has to get through this if he any wishes to live again.
Hopefully, the others won't turn off the machine while he's trying to reclaim his Life.
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"Scout, we stay and fight." Heavy tells Jack hard, he rather not have wanted to do this but after having spoken to the others and done a lot of thinking, he has come to the conclusion that he needs to take the command of the team— at least for now.
Jack turns away from the conversation he had with Garry and back to him, a deep frown on his face but what Heavy can see, there is no hostility in his eyes. Then the leader of team Vanguard quirks a small smile. "About time you people got this set straight."
Heavy merely hums as his response only speaks when he leaves the room. "We leave when wounded can come with us."
With the Fortress heavy gone, Garry steps over to Jack and remarks to the man. "We should be able to keep the army at bay with their help. Unlike us, they are built to frontal assualt."
Jack nods. "Yeah." The team leader turns back to him. "Tell Francis and Amadi they should put up a protective wall" Garry nods and leaves to do just that.