To the Citizens of Equestria,
As those of you who follow international news know, over in Maretonia this new virus known as the Coltovirus is currently running rampant. The virus causes mares to grow a penis and causes stallions to grow a second penis. The virus currently has a mortality rate of 17.9% for mares and 1.79% for stallions. It is believed that the mortality rate is so high in mares because of the growth of a penis causes extreme shock to a mare's immune system.
From what doctors in Maretonia have told us, the virus first causes ponies to develop a persistent cough, a constant runny nose and a low grade fever. In mild cases, that is the most that will happen and no extra anatomy will appear. In moderate cases, fevers will be higher, the coughing will be worse and be accompanied with mucous. In the worse cases, a penis will form and fevers will be very high, perhaps life threatening. The worse cases will also involve violent coughing and a near steady flow of discharge from the nose.
Now in the absolute worst cases, not only will a penis grow, patients will develop an extremely high fever and in the worst of the worst cases, patients will have to be placed on a ventilator. The bad thing about those cases is that there is an 80% mortality rate for patients, both mares and stallions, that wind up having to be put on ventilators.
There have been ponies, Equestrian citizens, who have traveled to Maretonia that have returned and both are currently hospitalized in Manehattan. Now we are unsure as to how many ponies carrying the virus here in Equestria as there are ponies who are asymptomatic and simply carry the virus but never get sick from it. Because the virus has gotten to Equestria, we have come to the following decisions.
For starters, effective immediately, we are closing all borders indefinitely. The virus is spread across the world and we do not want to risk any more ponies coming in that may have it than already have. Nopony comes in and nopony goes out so that we will not be responsible for infecting other nations. The last thing we need is leaders of inferior nations bitching at us for introducing the virus to their countries.
Also, we have decided to institute a national mask mandate. Everycreature must wear a face mask so that in the event they have the virus, they will not spread it to others. Now we are unsure as to whether this disease only affects ponies or if it affects others too but better be safe than sorry.
Also, we are instituting national social distancing guidelines. We ask that everycreature stand or sit at least six feet apart to minimize spread. Also, while we hate to do this, effective immediately all restaurants, bars, hotels, gyms and unnecessary businesses must close to also minimize spread. Places such as the post office, places for ponies to worship us and grocery stores will remain opening but proper social distancing and face mask mandates will be enforced.
Another thing that we hate to do but it must be done is that schools must be temporarily closed to prevent potential spread. The virus affects ponies equally, regardless of age so a foal is just as likely to get it and spread it as an old pony is. For the time being, remote learning will be necessary because we can not have foals sitting on their dead asses and not learning anything. We don't want stupid, uneducated foals!
Now we all know that this will negatively affect the economy as ponies will not be working BUT we will not allow our economy to collapse like it has in other nations. Effective immediately, families will receive checks of 6,000 bits per month and individuals will receive checks of 2,500 bits per month. This of course will depend on a creature's income. Those who earn more than 250,000 bits per year will receive half of that and those who earn over 500,000 bits per year will receive 20% of it. If an individual or a family's income is or exceeds 1 million bits, they will receive no checks since they can obviously survive without any government aid.
Because of this, we ask that you do not file for unemployment because you'll get your stimulus checks and all your jobs will still be there when the restrictions lift. If any place fires you during the lock down, those businesses will be punished severely and you will be able to get a settlement out of them.
Also, we are going to set up an extensive testing program because we want to know how many creatures have this and testing will be mandatory. Creatures will be given a small mark on their forehead that will give proof that they have been tested. A minus sign for those who test negative and a plus sign for those who test positive.
For all the health care workers, do not worry, we will see to it that you have enough in the way of masks, gowns, ventilators and anything else that you may need to care for patients. After all, in other nations ponies are running short on PPEs and are having to reuse masks, gowns and are running short on crucial equipment necessary to care for Coltovirus patients.
As of right now there are only two confirmed cases in Equestria, both have been hospitalized and one is on a ventilator. With any luck they will be the only two but remember everypony, it is up to you to help prevent the spread! Anypony caught in an indoor public place without a mask will be punished severely! Fines will be applicable for the first violation, jail time and fines will be applicable for the second offense and seizure of all assets and time in Tartarus will be applicable for the third offense, Tartarus until the pandemic has passed.
Now everypony have a great day and remember, love and worship us as is mandated by law!
Your Supreme Leaders,
Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer and Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle