A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake
Excerpt 4: Obligatory Musical
Rarity, Tom, Fluttershy, and Twilight were all in an empty room in the back of Rarity’s boutique. Tom had no idea what the pair wanted, but he hadn’t seen any reason to refuse their invitation either. However, as Rarity closed the door and the fashionista grew a slightly feral grin, Tom was coming to regret his choices.
“Now, Darling, that song you sang for Rainbow during her Birthaversary was simply adorable. I must know more!” Rarity exclaimed.
“You want me to sing more love songs for you to hear? That’s what all this cloak and dagger is about? Why’s Fluttershy here?” Tom asked.
“Well, we thought Human songs might inspire a song or two for the Ponytones. Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious myself,” Fluttershy explained. Tom thought it over for a moment.
“OK, I’ll do it. Well, I won’t be singing. Thanks to Vinyl and a little bit of experimentation, I can recreate the music and vocals from memory. I also won’t limit myself to love songs, just because my knowledge of love songs comes almost exclusively from my older brother, who loved to play love songs 24/7 every time he had a girlfriend. I’m also not going to subject you to ever genre of music. I hate rap and I’m not going to make you listen to something like Five Finger Death Punch, even though I love them,” Tom remarked.
“‘Five Finger Death Punch’? Your human bands certainly have a way with names,” Rarity snarked.
“Now the question becomes where to begin..?” Tom trailed off, mentally starting to go through his music library.
“Wherever you think is best, dear,” Rarity encouraged. Tom’s eyes drifted around the room aimlessly until they came to rest on Twilight.
“Ah, I know the perfect love song to start us with!” He charged the magic and a piano started to play just a moment before the vocals began. It wasn’t quite like anything the ponies had heard before. But that ceased to matter when the singer began talking about Vanilla Twilight, violet eyes, and heavy wings.
“Tom, I am going to kill you,” Twilight swore.
“You can try~” Tom taunted as the song ended, “You have to admit, the song sounds like it was made for you.”
“Vanilla Twilight was my great aunt,” Twilight sulked.
“That song was so sweet,” Fluttershy opined.
“How about another song that might ruffle Twilight’s feathers?” Tom asked cheekily before powering the spell and summoning up an illusion of what looked to be a small bird of some kind.
“Tom!” Twilight tried to protest, but the song was already underway. Tom may have not been singing, but he was clearly mouthing the words of one of the singers while having the bird sing other words. Tom was even dancing along with glee.
“Quite an upbeat number for what seems to be a young princeling,” Rarity remarked.
“The Lion King is considered one of the best animated movies of all time back home. I did a stage performance of it once when I was in 9th grade. Remind me to tell you all about it later, as the song gets even better with context. For now, why don’t we try something a little darker on for size?” Tom asked.
“Tom, what are you plotting?” Twilight asked suspiciously.
“Plotting? I’m not plotting anything…much,” Tom said, looking as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth before being over taken with an evil grin. He lit his horn and said, “Now, my Dark Purpose will be fulfilled and the last of the Romanovs will DIE!”
The music poured into the room and Tom simply bobbed his head in time with the music as the ponies grew more and more horrified. Finally the song finished, leaving the ponies in a state of shock.
“That was certainly…intense,” Twilight breathed.
“I, uh, I don’t think I liked that one too much,” Fluttershy confessed.
“It certainly had an enthralling quality to it, but I don’t think it agreed with me either,” Rarity sighed.
“Hmm, alright, perhaps a softball is in order. I will warn you, however, this song may make you teary,” Tom said before powering the spell once more. A piano began to play and already it had a haunting, sad quality to it. This one Tom did sing along with, Twilight’s voice mingling with the sorrowful lyrics.
“What did it mean?” Fluttershy asked quietly when the song finished.
“I don’t know, but for me it always reminds me of my mom right after she lost her baby in the womb to complications,” Tom answered as he rubbed a tear from his eye, “Now! Let’s have something a little happier!”
Before anyone could do anything, a new track started playing. It was immediately upbeat as the last was sorrowful. This one Tom contented himself to mouthing along with as he played the air guitar.
“My, this almost sounds like Rainbow Dash’s theme song,” Rarity quipped.
“I won’t deny thoughts of a certain prismatic mare crossed my mind when choosing this song,” Tom admitted, “It’s actually a song for a character that’s all about his need for speed, much like Rainbow. Now then, we’ve had sad, we’ve had dark, we’ve had romance, we’ve had hype, and we’ve had a little silly. What else do I want to show off?” Tom thought about it for a few moments before an idea came to him. It would require him to skirt the line with hard rock, but he thought the song itself was strangely appropriate.
A deep bass/ accompanied by a steady drumbeat started playing. Once the song started properly, Fluttershy pinned her ears against her skull, but strangely Rarity and Twilight seemed to enjoy it. The song played to its conclusion before anyone spoke.
“You’re a regular comedian, Tom,” Twilight snarked.
“I thought a song about being an animal was appropriate,” Tom said, utterly unrepentant.
“It was certainly very much unlike anything a pony would produce,” Rarity commented.
“Equuis has Heartsongs. Your emotions channeled directly through your Heart and Soul via Harmony Magic. Heartsongs are extremely intimate to the one who is leading the Heartsong. I’ve noticed that almost every non-Heartsong piece of music here in pony land is purely instrumental. You have everything from Vinyl’s Dubstep to Octavia’s classical, but you don’t have the Beetles, you don’t have Keith Urban, you don’t so much as have Simon and Garfunkel. For Humanity, expressing ourselves is so much more difficult than simply being inspired with a Heartsong. So songwriters have taken it upon themselves to express every conceivable emotion, to make their understanding of the Human Condition known to the masses,” Tom tried to explain, “Here, I can think of no better way to end this session and demonstrate my point than with this song.”
An Organ began to play. Then an entire choir began to sing and Tom lent his voice to the singing masses. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity were stunned by how Tom seemed to lose himself in this song. Equestria didn't have much in the way of proper choirs like this one sounded to be. If they hadn’t known any better, they’d have thought it was a Heartsong. It was clearly a song near and dear to his Heart.
“That was beautiful,” Rarity whispered as he finished.
“That was the first hymn I sang after I was baptized. I will never forget it as long as I live. Thank you, this was quite enjoyable,” Tom said with a sincere smile. Without another word, he left the building.