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// 18 - Anti-magic human vs the Royal Guard 
// Story: Physics Bubble 
// by LordBucket 
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Sturdy Shield sood impassively at the gate. He was a Royal Guard, and standing in one place impassively was their speciality.

"Hey Sturdy," his partner at the gate commented. "Have you ever wondered why we're so bad at what we do?"

"Nonsense," Sturdy Shield harruphmed. "We excel at standing in place looking impassive."

"Well of course we're good at that, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"What do you mean, then?"

"Well, think about it. We're 'Royal' guards, so that means we're supposed to defend royalty, right?"

"Of course," Sturdy Shield nodded.

"But how can we possibly do that? We're just ordinary ponies, and the princesses are immortals who move the sky around before breakfast."

"Well, right," Sturdy nodded again. "But that's not just an ordinary spear you're carrying. Remember, every Guard weapon is triple-layered with thaumic bands and personaly certified by the inspector-magus of the forge. Don't you remember in training how the enchantment on your spear was able to pierce even a class 3 unicorn barrier? That takes a lot of power."

"Yeah, I know all that," the other guard replied. "But so what? So what, really? Whenever there's a crisis it's always some superpowered demon from Tartarus or a chaos god or the royal kitchen running out of cake batter. You know, serious problems that we're just simply outclassed by."

"Mwahahaha!" the human walked up to the gate. "I am immune to magic and I am here to conquer Equestria!"

"Do you have an entry permit?" Sturdy calmly inquired.

"Mwahaha-what?"

"I said," he repeated. "Do you have an entry permit?

"No, I don't have a permit!" the human screeched. "I'm here to conquer Equestria! I'm pretty sure they don't issue permits for that."

"You might be surprised, sir," Sturdy Shield straightened his posture. "But I can't let you through without an entry permit."

"And where do I get a permit?"

"You'll have to apply inside, sir."

"And how do I get inside?"

"You'll need a permit, sir."

"Oh, for the love of..." the human stepped forward and placed his hand on Sturdy Shield's withers, causing him to instantly collapse to the ground even though in the fics this fic is a meta-commentary on, anti-magic powers never seem to cause problems when an author-insert human wants to have sexy times with the author's favorite pony waifu.

"Oh, I feel so weak!" Sturdy Shield moaned as he collapsed. "Nameless other guard pony, it's up to you to stop him!"

The other guard looked on at the overpowered human in horror. "Me?!?" he recoiled in fear. "What am I supposed to do? I'm just a Royal Guard! They don't train us for this kind of thing!!!"

"You can't stop me," the human looked on in pity. "I have an anti-magic physics bubble, and even Celestia will be powerless to stop me. What could you, a mere guard, possibly do?"

"Don't...forget..." Sturdy Shield whimpered, "...magic...spear." Then collapsed.

Quivering in terror, the poor nameless guard saw his life briefly pass before his eyes. He looked up at the sun he'd sworn to protect, and then down to his fellow guard laying on the ground at his feet. 

"For Equestria!" he shouted, then lunged forward, still shaking, and stabbed his heavily enchanted magic spear effortlessly through the human's totally-immune-to-magic stomach.

"What?!?" the human spluttered. "It can't do that! I'm immune to magic!"

Still a spear.