//------------------------------//
// Chapter 167 - Twilight Tries It 
// Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) 
// by CrazedLaughter 
//------------------------------//

A couple of days pass since your meeting with Luna. Jimmy was defeated by your lie, and surprisingly, he lived up to his word and left you alone. Of course, he did accuse you of lying, but couldn’t sense if you were due to that smug aura of yours. He’d never learn the truth, and that was fine with you. 

As the days pass, everything remains mostly calm. Classes were high energy at times, especially with Rainbow, Applejack, or Pinkie. Chancellor Neighsay continued to not cause a ruckus, thanks to the continued letters that you sent saying you were still investigating. And Chrysalis still hadn’t made a move yet, which was fine with you... Mostly.

For today, you had a thing you had to get to with Gallus, Yona, and Sandbar. It was something Cozy set up, saying that if you all were going to hang out as a big group of friends with the CMC, then you needed to spend time with the friends you hadn’t interacted with too much. Now, you didn’t know what you were going to do, as it was Cozy who had something lined up. But whatever, she was probably right, and things would probably be fine.

But before you could even do that…

“...Anon, are you sure she hasn’t tried anything? She hasn’t even hinted at some sort of plan yet?” Twilight asked, as she paced around her office, Spike trying his best to keep things calm as Scrappy merely stared.

“Like I said, she’s been more content with the stuff I’ve given her than coming up with a plan. If anything, I’d say it’s something. Normally she’d be scheming nonstop, so revenge not being a priority must mean she's calming down. I’m just worried about that time limit. I don’t even know if there is one, but she insists there is. I hate to say it, Twilight, but I kinda wish she’d come up with something.” You tell her, looking at her. Man, you could tell she was jittery about it. If only she knew what Celestia and Luna had in store for her, christ.

“I dunno. Scrappy, does that sound like Chrysalis to you?” Spike asked.

“No, so it has to be both!” Scrappy said as he hopped on Twilight’s desk, making gestures that suggested both laziness and cunning in regards to Chrysalis. “She loves human things, so she would probably try to enjoy them as much as she can. But to say she isn’t planning? Oh, trust me, she is, she really is! Anon is just wrong, that’s all. Obviously the queen wouldn’t tell him what she has planned, she never does that unless he’s part of that plan. The old misdirect maneuver, vroom!” Scrappy says as he thrusts his paw forward, falling off the desk.

“She’d tell me! She’s at the point where she tells me pretty much everything. Not like she has anypony else to talk to out there. I’m her best friend, more than ever at this point.” You explain with an annoyed hop. Like, if she had a plan, she’d tell it to you just because she’d believe nothing could stop her. But then you realized, yeah, given how she still teases you and still gets angry at the drop of a hat. “... Or maybe not, she still gives me trouble. But I stand by that she doesn’t seem to have anything planned. She really is spending most of her time lounging around.”

Scrappy went silent for a moment as he slowly came out from the side of the desk and sighs. “And, I hate to admit this about the queen, but she does spend a lot of her time wishing revenge rather than getting it.” Scrappy said with a little whine, his ears folding. “I hope she doesn’t take too long, I don’t want her to disappear.”

“Scrappy, hey.” Spike walks up to Scrappy to gently pat him on the head. “It’ll be ok. I’m sure she’s got a really good plan to take down… Ok, I’m gonna stop myself right there. Let’s just say she has a plan, and she’s just waiting for the right time to pull it off, how about that?” Spike didn't really like the idea of Chrysalis having a 'good' plan, one good enough to take down Twilight.

“I really hope so.” Scrappy says with a sigh as he begins to lay on the ground.

“And even then, we have to make sure she feels welcomed after her plan fails. It’s actually one of the reasons I asked to see you, Anon.” Twilight says as her attention turns from Scrappy to you. “I felt it, I know I made some kind of connection with her before. So I wanted to ask you, if she really has come to connect with you over human things, things she seems to enjoy like documentaries and fast derby cars; Then if I’m going to be her friend, well, I’m going to have to immerse myself too in human culture.”

“Woah, Twilight, you didn’t mention that being the reason you wanted to see Anon. Can you handle that? What about all those nightmares about brain bugs?” Spike asked, shocked at Twilight’s words.

“Urgh.” Twilight flinched, and nearly turned green from the thought. “Ngh, well, while that was really REALLY horrifying. And trust me, it really was, I still have trouble thinking about it, Chrysalis is going to need more than Anon to get along and connect with. So, Anon, I need you to use your magic to produce another documentary that Chrysalis loves, as well as perhaps the kind of vehicle she likes so I can see why she likes it so much. I don’t care if there are even more brain bugs than in ‘Starship Troopers’. I could feel a connection through that documentary, so if she’s looking for somepony to talk to about it, or even watch a few more with, I want to be somepony she can do that with. Not only do I think that it can be fun, but it is a good opportunity to do some more learning about human culture. With that said, I have to further ask, what do you think I should watch?”

Good god, is she crazy? She’s already acting like you agreed to use your magic. Hell, Twilight could still barely handle Starship Troopers on its most intense moments, so showing her Chrysalis’s other favorite film would fucking break her. Given what Celestia had planned, you felt for Twilight, and didn’t want to subject her to ‘Goodfellas’. “Twilight, I can do the whole car thing for you, set up a track for you to safely drive around and everything. But as for films? I’m sorry, I know you can’t handle it.”

“What?!” Twilight said in abject surprise. “Anon, you can’t blame me for what happened before, I don’t think anypony had ever witnessed something like that before. But I’m ready this time, I understand it’s just a film.”

“Twilight, you couldn’t handle a single moment that showed death in it. What makes you think you can handle it now?” You ask her, in huge doubt.

“I’ve had time to get used to the idea and themes of the film. And even then, I have to understand it isn’t really happening, despite how gruesome it is. Anon, me being able to connect with her is more important than the horrific contents of those films. Besides, learning about anypony’s history isn’t meant to be easy anyway. I promise, Anon, I can handle it this time. So, please, can you set up a film for me?” Twilight asked, looking at you with a big shimmering smile as if she was fully prepared for what's to come.

“Woah, hold on there, Twilight. Maybe Anon is on to something there. If these films are really that scary, maybe you shouldn’t watch them.” Spike said, as even the idea of someone’s brain being drained out made him feel intense dread.

“No one is going to force you to watch, Spike. But for me, it has to be done, no matter what.” Twilight said with a sure nod towards him. She then turns towards you, and looks at you with a smirk. “Besides, maybe you only don’t want to show me these films because they scared you too. Anon, I’m mature, and as I said, I know they are only films. So yes, for the hundreth time, I know I will be fine.”

You immediately narrow your eyes towards Twilight. Did she just try to reverse-psychology you? No, fine, sure, let her have it. BUT NOT BECAUSE YOU WERE TRICKED! No, only because she would try something like that on you in the first place. You then roll your eyes as you slap on your horn. “Ok, fine, if you think you can handle it…” You create a large flatscreen TV, a remote, and Goodfellas ready to play. “There it is, it’s called Goodfellas and it runs for about two and a half hours, so you better saddle up.”

“Two and a half hours? Wow, I’ve never seen a film run that long before, it must really be an epic.” Twilight said as she already became excited.

“Goodfellas?” Spike said with a chuckle. “That’s the ‘big scary movie’ we’re about to watch? Anon, were you just messing with us the entire time or what?”

“Oh no, Spike, he wasn’t.” Scrappy said as he began to skulk about, grabbing the remote and nibbling on it before presenting it to Twilight. “It is a film about gangsters! All about them, ohhh yes! The cruel things they do, the way they get around authority, the drama, the suspense! The queen loves this documentary as much as Starship Troopers. It’s a good watch though, even if I don’t get it sometimes.”

“Gangster movie? Hey, that actually sounds pretty cool, I’m totally down to watch something like that, let me just get some snacks and drinks ready, Twilight, and we can be ready to roll.” Spike said, ignorant about what he’s getting into.

“A gangster documentary, huh? Maybe we should get Rarity to sit down and watch it with us, she has been getting into detective books.” Twilight said as she pondered, rubbing her hoof under her chin.

...Christ, you DEFINITELY couldn’t let Miss Rarity go through that. “How about no, Twilight. You’re underestimating humans and what they do, there’s no way Rarity can handle it. How about we just leave her out of this, huh?”

“Anon, the more of us that get used to it, the better it’ll be for you and Chrysalis. In fact, I know Starlight has been interested in human aeronautics. So maybe she’ll be interested in other facets of human culture. Sure, we can make this a little mini gathering.  I’ll respect the fact that this may be too much for Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, and I know Applejack and Rainbow Dash are busy anyway, so I think this setup will be for the best.” Twilight said with a sure nod to herself.

...Fuck it, whatever, she was not going to listen. And honestly, it did have that scene where a helicopter chases Henry around, so Starlight might dig that. God, how hilarious would it be to watch Twilight fall on her fucking face whenever someone dies or curses in this film, or hell, the entire criminal aspect throwing her for a loop. Fuck, you wondered how she’d try to eject Spike out of the room the moment shit went south. Sadly, you had to get to the town square to meet up with Gallus, Sandbar, and Yona. But… “You know what, Twilight, you’re absolutely right. So much in the right that I have no clue why I even argued with you. If I could watch with you, I really would, but I do have something to get to. So I hope you, Rarity, Starlight, and Spike enjoy the film. I hope you really do, for the sake of Chrysalis.”

“Thank you, Anon. And don’t worry, alright? I’m sure everything is going to be fine, and it will be a great learning experience.” Twilight said with a cheery smile.

Yeah, you bet. “I’m sure it will. Well, seeya, you all take care! Oh, as for the whole car thing, that remote will open a portal to a test track with a formula one. I know you don’t know what that is, but I custom fitted it for you and you should learn how to ride it pretty quick” That was a lie. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact the thing will bounce off the barriers of the track, you could swear Twilight would wreck it in seconds.

“Understood, I’ll be sure to give it a try after the documentary. I’m sure it’ll be fun!” Twilight said with a lighthearted giggle.

'Fun'... Hoo boy.

And with that, you say your goodbyes as Spike goes to make snacks while Twilight heads off to fetch Rarity and Starlight. Ugh, how could she even throw Rarity into the fray like that? There’s no way in hell Rarity is going to survive Goodfellas, no matter how much she’s gotten to love noir or detective stuff. But the very idea of it was hilarious, and you still wanted a chance to experience it. So, as you walked to the exit of the school, you brought a hoof to your ear. “Discord, yo, you there? Or are you still being an asshole?”

Amazingly, he answers immediately. “Anon, hello! Such vulgar language, as usual. No, no, I’d like to think we’re squarsies at this point. Now, given you are calling me on the codec, I assume you are looking for a favor from me, hm? No freebies this time, Anon, I am going to expect something in return.”

“Discord, how about a favor that mutually benefits both of us?” You tell him, awaiting his answer.

Of course, he scoffs at your suggestion. “Well now, that’s quite interesting. I’m listening, Anon, tell me what this favor is. A favor that somehow benefits the both of us must be truly a juicy proposal.” He says, sarcasm filling his tone.

“I just need you to eavesdrop on Twilight while she watches Goodfellas. I have a feeling her reactions are going to be golden and I want to be updated on whenever she has a few screws loosened. She seriously believes she can handle it, which I know for damn sure she can’t. Even funnier, she’s inviting Starlight and Rarity to watch it with her. It’s a disaster waiting to happen, you know what I mean?” You tell him, hoping its enough to persuade him. But there is only silence, with hints of someone heaving, which can only mean one thing. “Discord, I already can tell you like the idea. It's happening pretty soon ok? So don't wait around and SDFGSRFGSEFRETF” Suddenly you are slammed by a falling viscous liquid as it thrusts you out of the school and into the moat. Dammit, GODDAMMIT, it’s his fucking drool, you can feel it!... This was drool, right? “DAMMIT, DISCORD! Fuck! Did you have to do that?!”

“Anon, how could I not? I was drooling so hard that if I didn’t teleport it towards you, it would have made the house into a mess! Well, I suppose that wouldn’t have been a bad thing. Regardless, I agree to your terms. So relax, go do whatever you were going to do, and let papa Discord handle the rest.” Discord said with a sly evil chuckle.

“Yeah, but damn! Geez, this is fucking gross. And, Oh god!  Fucking god, it’s full of phlegm!” Gross! It was so gooey and bad smelling, christ! It felt so gross to the touch that it made you just sink into the water to get away from it, the very texture making you shiver.

“Phlegm? Oh, that! That’s not phlegm, that’s a new type of nitroglycerin I was producing in my body. Yes, I know, why do that when I can become a living firework on my own. Well, Anon, sometimes a bit of authenticity makes the experience that much better. In fact, I had created a match with it that ignites once it comes in contact with H20. But then I accidentally swallowed it, I wonder where it ended up?” Discord said, wondering.

Wut?

Your eyes then slowly shift to the right when you notice a small stick floating down towards you, sparking, and then suddenly igniting.

Maybe he wasn’t really over it…

And with that, the ‘phlegm’ explodes, launching you out of the moat and towards Ponyville as you screamed for dear life. Not the first time this happens to you, but it was never enjoyable to begin with.