In Celestia's school for Talented Unicorns and Musicians, music could be heard pouring out from many of the classrooms, styles ranging from classical to country to experimental non-form jazz to punk rock to hip hop to heavy metal and many styles between.
The lavender unicorn Twilight Sparkle sat in her study tower/recording studio reading a book on the musical history of Equestria. "One thousand years ago two sisters had discovered a new style of music called heavy metal and they formed a band with both of them as frontmares. For a time all was righteous as they played to sold out venues as harmony and awesome guitar solos ruled the land.", she read out loud, "But it was not to last. The younger sister jealous of the elder sister's sick guitar licks and demanded more praise from the audiences. The younger sister fell to the temptations of cheap, heartless, talent-less soulless, flashy style with no substance and became the diva known as Popstar Moon who threatened to banish all the creativity from the land. A confrontation between the two sisters lead to a battle and the older sister had had to banish the younger sister to the moon, where she became the mare in the moon."
Twilight gasped before continuing, "On the thousandth reunion tour, the stars shall assist in her return for her quest to banish all creativity from the land and replace all music with bland, uncreative, mass produced music. Only the Elements of Metal can defeat her and protect all the music of the land." Looking up from the book, Twilight shouted for her assistant, agent and producer, "Spike! Spike!"
A purple dragon with green frills, wearing a pair of bronze sunglasses and texting on a phone walked up. "Good news Twily, I've got you a chance to play at a local club with Minuet, Lemonheart, Lyra Heartstrings, Twinkleshine and Moondancer. This could be your big break. Many studios would offer you top bit contracts, especially given you vocal range and being the personal student of Princess Celestia."
"No time Spike!", Twilight said frantically, "Get me the book on magical prophesies and musical portents!"
"You sure?", Spike asked, then sighed, "Of course you're sure. I'll just text them that you can't make it again." After sending the text, he climbed the ladder on the bookcase to look for the book. "I think I found it!", he said pulling the heavy book from the shelf, before slipping from the ladder.
Twilight caught Spike and the book in her magic Spike's phone however didn't fair so well as it smacked into the floor, shattering the screen. "Aw! That was a five hundred bit phone!", Spike exclaimed.
Twilight muttered to herself incoherently as she flipped through the book. "Spike!", she shouted, "Send a text to Princess Celestia!"
Spike pointed to his shattered phone. "Unless you know a spell to repair my phone or can pull five hundred bits out of your ponut, I kinda can't."
Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation. "Fine! Take a letter." After Spike had gotten a quill and parchmentm Twilight began dictating the letter, "Dear Princess Celestia, I am sending you this letter with utmost urgency. There is a very dire predicament..."
"Pre...pre...dick mints?", Spike asked confused.
"Just substitute it for problem!", Twilight snapped. After Spike had finished writing, she continued dictating the letter, "The dangerous villain known as Popstar Moon is returning to banish all creativity from all of Equestria. Please advise. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle -Dictated, not read."
After Spike finished writing the letter, he rolled it up and sent it away with a puff of fire. "It's the waiting that kills me.", Spike said, "You know we could have received the message already if you had saved my phone too."
After several minutes of waiting, Spike's stomach heaved and he burped up green flames, a rolled up letter materialized. Taking the letter in his hand, he unrolled it and read it, "My faithful student Twilight Sparkle, You don't need to waste yourself in those dusty old books filled with legends and old mare's tales. I feel you're wasting your magical and vocal potential locking yourself away in that tower/recording studio, never sending out your demos or making friends or band mates. I'm sending down to this righteous town called Ponyville to assist in setting up my thousandth reunion concert. I want you while you're there to make some friends and band mates. I also want you to live a little while down there, do something like drink a beer, smoke a bowl, maybe snort a rail, if you're feeling adventurous spike some scag in you veins, but most important MAKE SOME FRIENDS. Your magical and vocal teacher, Princess Celestia
"What?!", Twilight exclaimed, "You must have read that wrong! Let me read it!" She snatched the letter in her magic and mumbled the words as she read it, "Make some friends." Shaking her head, she sighed.
Spike belched again and a list materialized.
"Let's go the train station.", Twilight sighed in a defeated tone.
As Twilight and Spike sat in the train car on their way to Ponyville, Twilight was lost. *crack* *pssh* The sound of a beer can opening snapped Twilight out of her thoughts. Looking over, she saw an earth pony mare with a dark grey coat, a red pentagram cutie mark, a two-tone black and green mane, multiple piercings in her ears, lips and one in her eyebrow. The mare was cradling an old, well worn electric guitar like it was a baby while drinking the can of beer.
The earth pony mare looks over at Twilight and says, "See somethin' you like?"
Twilight flushed with embarrassment and scoffed. "I was just looking at you guitar. It looks kinda old and beaten up."
The earth pony downed the beer in several quick gulps and threw the empty at Twilight's head. It connected with a *bonk*. "Hey!", Twilight snapped, "Why'd you do that!"
The earth pony looked to Twilight saying, "Don't insult the harp! I know old Lucy ain't all shiny like the new Trottocasters, but she's got something they don't, personality. Insult me all you want, but don't ever insult the harp again."
Twilight looked to the floor. I'm sorry.", she said dejectedly, "I didn't mean to insult your guitar, I'm just having a bad day." An unopened landed in the seat next to her.
"Drink it. It may not make you feel better, but it'll help you forget your problems for a minute.", the earth pony said, "The name's Thrasher by the way." She pulled out another beer seemingly from nowhere and cracked it open.
Twilight took the unopened beer in her magic, cracked it open and took a sip. "My name's Twilight Sparkle.", she said, "Princess Celestia is sending me down to Ponyville to help set up for her reunion concert."
"I don't care about your backstory.", Thrasher said, "Just shut up, drink the beer and we'll get fucked up together on the way to Ponyville."
Spike tapped his chin. "Hmm, Thrasher. I've heard of you. A few months ago I tried to set up a gig with you and Twily here. But she decided to not take it up."
"That was totally geh that you bailed on a gig.", Thrasher said.
Twilight looked over to Thrasher. "Isn't that a little homophobic?"
"I didn't say gay, I said geh.", Thrasher said indignantly.
"What's the difference?"
"Gay is good.", Thrasher said, "Gay means you might meet a hottie and go on a fun date, then that evening...eyebrows eyebrows! Geh is bad, like when someone pulls a total dick move or bails on a gig or wusses out or even c-blocks or v-blocks you."
"I'm sorry I backed out of that gig.", Twilight said.
"It didn't turn out all bad.", Thrasher retorted, "I managed to set up a last minute gig with that dubstep dj known as DJ Pon3. After the show we railed a couple of lines and I introduced her to this hot cellist called Octavia. Don't worry about that gig, what's done is done. Let's get drunk while we're on this boring ass train ride." She downed the beer and tossed the empty across the car, then began practicing on the guitar while pulling out another beer.
After Twilight finished her beer, she looked over to Thrasher and said, "If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to Ponyville?"
"*hic* Celestia assed me to play in her bnd.*hic*", Thrasher slurred drunkenly, "Siderin' tht m originally frm there an gotta cousin living ther, figured*hic* why the Tartaus not. Fore I*hic* the show starts m gonna get my party on." As she stares with bleary eyes at the guitar as she pulls out another beer, cracks it open and begins drinking it down.
"Don't you think you've had enough?", Twilight asked concerned, "You already-OW!" An empty can bouncing off her head interrupted her.
"Llllooook here you three!*hic*", Thrasher slurred, "IIIII'll tell you wwwwhhheeeennnn I..." She slumped in seat snoring.
The remainder of the ride to Ponyville went silently, with the exception of Thrasher snoring in her stupor. When the train came to a stop, Thrasher lurched out of her stupor saying, "If I work the fields can I get more of that rock liquor Aunt Quartz?" She looked around seeing she was in the train car.
Spike and Twilight stepped off the train, while Thrasher stumbled off.
"Alright Spike, what's first on the checklist?", Twilight asked.
"Hmm...", Spike hummed as he looked over the list, "...first we have to go to Sweet Apple Acres to see about the drums, food and...marijuana?"
Thrasher perked up at the mention marijuana. "Let's go! That apple green is supposed to be primo stuff!"
Twilight sighed as they made their way over to Sweet Apple Acres.
As they reached Sweet Apple Acres, they were greeted by an orange earth pony mare with blonde mane, three red apples on her flank as a cutie mark and a stetson on her head. "Howdy y'all.", she said in a pleasant country tone, "Th' name's Applejack. Ah wanna welcome y'all tuh Sweet Apple Acres. What're y'all'ses names?"
Twilight spoke up, "My name's Twilight Sparkle...", she pointed to Spike, "This is Spike, my assistant, agent and producer and this is....", she pointed to Thrasher grumbling.
"Ah Already know Thrasher.", Applejack said, "So why're y'all here?"
Twilight began talking in her most professional tone, "I'm here to check on the drums, food...", she paused looking uncomfortable, "...and the marijuana."
"Hoo-wee! Well why didn't y'all say so?!", Applejack exclaimed in a happy tone, "C'mon an' we'll get y'all introduced right proper-like!" She grabbed Twilight by the fetlock, dragging her further into Sweet Apple Acres and stopped at a flatbed wagon with an impressive drum kit set up on it.
Twilight stared in awe at the drum kit. She shook her head to regain her composure. "Looks impressive, who's going to play them and are they any good?"
"Ah'm gonna be bangin' th' skins!", Applejack said jamming her hoof into her chest, "Now here's a taste of what yer gonna see at th' concert tumarrah!" She jumped up on the wagon, pulled out two drumsticks and began playing a blistering drum solo.
Twilight stared in awe as the very air around her seemed to vibrate with the beats. As a mechanism under the drum kit lifted it up and tipped it on its side, Twilight flopped to her flanks in stunned silence as the drum solo intensified. Once Applejack had finished her solo and the drums settled back onto the original position, she jumped down. "Tha's jus' a lil taste of what y'all c'n expect tumarrah."
Twilight just stared in awe. "Wow." She blinked a few time and regained her composure. "So what about the...uh...um...marijuana?"
Thrasher grinned with joy as Applejack held a hoof up to her mouth and shouted, "Smoke's on everypony!" Dozens of member of the Apple family came up with joints, pipes and bongs.
"Oh! Um. I don't think I should.", Twilight said.
"Don't be geh! Hit that shit, smoke that shit, get high!", Thrasher said taking a joint. She lit the joint, took a long drag and blew out the smoke. "Ah yeah! That's the good shit! All they got in Canterlot is ditch weed." She passed the joint to Twilight.
As Thrasher and Twilight began sampling the various strains offered, Applejack said, "We got Appleloosa skunky, Dodge Junction crystal buds, purple sticky fuzz, Ponyville sticky and...", she pulled a joint from the brim of her stetson, "...Granny Smith's own personal crop, apple green."
After the two ponies and dragon had finished sampling the strains, food was brought out as Applejack said almost singing, "We got apple brown betty, baked apples, caramel apples, candied apples, apple strudel, apple cake, apple crumble, apple fritters and of course apple pie!" The two stoned ponies and dragon had the munchies as they gobbled the food.
Thrasher, Twilight and Spike staggered away from Sweet Apple Acres, their bellies bulging from the food and their bloodshot from the various strains they had sampled.
Thrasher smacked her mouth as she talked, "Don't know about you, but I'm stoned off my plot." She took out a beer, cracked it open and began drinking it to cure her cotton mouth.
Twilight's eyes went wide with joy. "Yas!", she exclaimed, "Gimme one! My mouth is sooo dry!"
Thrasher chuckled as she tossed Twilight a beer.
After chugging the beer, Twilight felt a little more clear-headed. "What's next on the list Spike?"
"We're supposed to see somepony called Pinkie Pie about the after-party and the turntables.", Spike said reading the list.
As the three walked through town, they came across a pink earth pony mare with a poofy mane. "Excuse me?", Twilight said, "Can you direct us to..."
The pink pony let out a loud gasp interrupting Twilight as she levitated off the ground. She darted off with a woop.
"Uh...is she high?", Twilight asked.
Thrasher just shrugged. "Can't tell with her."
"What's next on the list Spike?"
Looking over the checklist, Spike said, "We need to see a pony name Rainbow Dash about the weather and rhythm guitar."
Walking across the bridge, Twilight heard an electric guitar playing scales with heavy distortion. Looking up she saw a cyan pegasus with rainbow mane sitting on a cloud playing a shiny new Trottocaster. Twilight cleared her throat to get the pegasus' attention, "Are you Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow unplugged her guitar, slung it across her back and flew down to the ground. "Yeah I'm the Rainbow Dash! Ya heard of me?"
"You're supposed to be in charge of the weather and rhythm guitar?", Twilight looking up to the sky, "It doesn't look like you're doing a very good job."
Rainbow buffed a hoof against her coat, "Yeah! Yeah! I'll get to it once I finish practicing my guitar and flying. I'm going to be a Wonderbolt."
"You mean the expert musician flyers?", Twilight said with a smirk, "I don't think they'll take a pegasus who can't keep the clouds clear for one afternoon."
"I can clear this sky in ten seconds flat.", Rainbow said with a confidant smirk.
Twilight narrowed her eyes and smirked, "Prove it!"
Rainbow took off in a cyan blur with a rainbow contrail. Twilight stared in disbelief as the sky was cleared in eight seconds. When Rainbow landed, she accidentally bumped into Twilight, knocking her into a mud puddle.
"Oops!", Rainbow said as she helped Twilight back to her hooves. "Here let me help dry you off with the patent-pending Rain-blo dry." She flew around Twilight creating a mini rainbow tornado. After landing, Twilight's mane and tail were all poofed up in a strange style twisted style. "Heh! There ya go, all dry."
Walking off, Twilight looked to Spike, "What's next on the list?"
"We're supposed to see a pony named Rarity about setting up the stage and lead guitar."
When they entered town hall, they were greeted by the sound of complex rhythms of a guitar. Inside was an alabaster unicorn, with an expertly coiffed mane, a cutie mark of three diamonds on her flank, in her blue magical aura floated an exquisite flying V guitar. As she played the guitar she simultaneously levitated amp stacks, lighting rigs, skulls and ribbons. Once finished setting up and decorating the stage, she turned her attention fully to her guitar. As she began playing a crescendo of expert licks, suddenly it sounded as if two guitars began playing at once, the music rose into a blistering solo that made Twilight's face feel so hot, that she raised a hoof to shield it.
"So beautiful! So Talented!", Spike said, his tongue hanging out and his eyes hearts.
Once the alabaster unicorn finished playing, Twilight asked, "Are you Rarity?"
Rarity flipped her mane once and flipped her guitar onto her back. "Why yes I am darling."
A pink blur popped up out of no where as the words came from it, "I need your help Thrasher!" Thrasher and the pink blur disappeared.
Rarity looked at Twilight, "Oh my darling, that coiffure is most definitely not righteous. Come with me to my shop and I'll help you get it righteous." After she took Twilight to her shop, Carousel Topic, she set Twilight in front of a mirror, fixing her mane. "So darling where are you from?"
"I'm from Canterlot, here to help Princess Celestia setting up her reunion concert.", Twilight said dragging a hoof across the floor.
Rarity gasped as her eyelids fluttered, "Well why didn't you say so darling?! You only deserve the best I can offer you!" She put a black canvas suit on Twilight, covered in straps and buckles. "Hmm, no. Not quite you." Taking the suit off, she put a black lace choker around Twilight's neck and a pair of black hooflets with steel studs around her fetlocks. "Closer." Rarity took the choker and hooflets off Twilight, then placed a vintage black faux leather jacket with small steel domes on the collar. "Perfect!"
"Thank you, but I didn't bring any bits with me.", Twilight said.
"No bother.", Rarity said, "On the house darling. Consider it a bit of compensation, considering you've been around Thrasher all day. She's nice and all, but she can be...what's the proper term...abrasive."
"Well thank you for the jacket.", Twilight said, "Spike, what's next on the list?" When Spike didn't respond because he was rutting Rarity with his eyes, Twilight smacked him across the head. "Spike! The list!"
Spike rubbed his head, "Okay! Okay! Geez! We're supposed to see a pony named Fluttershy about bass and the musical arrangements."
As Twilight and Spike made their way to a cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest, the sounds of a bass guitar came over the hills. Twilight and Spike ducked into a bush. Peeking out they saw a butter yellow pegasus with a pink mane and three pink butterflies on her flank, plucking and slapping a bass guitar with her wings, her eyes were closed with a look of serene bliss on her face, as the animals around her grooved to the tasty bass licks.
Twilight hypnotized by the tasty bass licks, swayed to the music until she lost her footing and fell out of the bush. The yellow pegasus stopped playing and ducked behind the amp. Twilight regained her footing and walked up to the amp while the pegasus peeked around it nervously. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I've never heard somepony play bass as good as you before.", Twilight said, "What's your name?"
*mumble mumble*
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.", Twilight said, "Could repeat that again."
*mumble mumble squeak mumble*
"Uh, okay.", Twilight said, "Well I'm Twilight sparkle. It...uh...looks like you have the bass and musical arrangement taken care of."
As Twilight turned to walk away, Spike stuck his head out of the bush, "Is everything okay Twi?"
The yellow pegasus gasped and flew over to Spike. "Oh my, a baby dragon! I've never seen a baby dragon before!"
Spike puffed out his chest. "Yep, that's me! The name's Spike. I'm Twilight's assistant, producer and agent.", he said, "If I can ever to take any gigs."
"I never knew a dragon could also be an assistant, producer and agent!", the yellow pegasus said excitedly, "My name's Fluttershy."
Spike passed Fluttershy his card. "Hit me up sometime if you wanna get any good gigs. Say how did you get so good at bass?"
Fluttershy ducked behind her mane and said softly, "Oh! Um! I-I've always been good a bass, though my passion is taking care of animals."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Always looking to get a new client, eh Spike?"
"It's called networking Twilight.", Spike said.
"I guess sneaking off to smoke ditch weed with Moondancer is 'networking'?", Twilight said sarcastically.
"Well if you'd commit to a gig, maybe I wouldn't have to network so much.", Spike quipped.
Twilight grumbled to herself as Fluttershy and Spike chatted among each other, while she walked to Golden Oaks library and record shop. Twilight stepped into the dark library/record shop, "Where's the light switch?"
The lights came on and ponies jumped out shouting, "Surprise!" Well all the ponies except for Thrasher and Roseluck, who were too busy having a drunken make-out session.
The pink pony jumped in front of Twilight, "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! When I saw you in town, I knew I didn't know you and I knew everypony in town and I didn't know you and I knew that because you didn't know anypony that meant you didn't have any friends and that made me sad and I didn't want you to be sad, so I grabbed everypony from around town and threw you a welcome to Ponyville party."
"Pinkie, give the filly some room to breathe.", Applejack said. "Welcome to Ponyville sugarcube." She extended a hoof.
Twilight went over to the table and picked up a bottle, pouring some liquid in a cup. Her eyes began to water as her face went red. She jumped in the screaming, "Yah! I'm on fire!" She ran to kitchen, stuck her head under the kitchen and started chugging water.
Pinkie picked up the bottle of hot sauce and began chugging it. When the other ponies looked at her weird, she said "What?! It's not that hot! It's really good!"
As the party continued, Twilight made her way upstairs to her room. Smoke, the smell of booze, loud music and sounds of sex crept up the stairs.
Spike walked in the room. "You're missing a great party Twilight!", he said, "That Thrasher can really party. She put three mares and two stallions into sex comas, then drained three kegs by herself. Now she's passed out in the toilet bowl."
Twilight looked up annoyed, "Is everypony in this town crazy?!" She looked at the moon as saw the mare in the moon slowly fade, "Don't they know Popstar Moon is coming to steal all the creativity?!"
"Well I'm going back down to the party.", Spike said, "You should join and let your mane down a little. You should do like Celestia said and have a little fun, maybe you could make a few friends." When Twilight didn't answer, he just shrugged and went back to the party.
As the party wound down, the ponies filtered out of Golden Oaks and made their way to the stage where Celestia was doing her thousandth reunion concert. Twilight made her way downstairs and pulled Thrasher out of the toilet bowl. She smacked Thrasher a few time and splashed water on her face to wake her up. "Come on!", Twilight snapped, "Get off your drunken plot! We've got a concert to perform at!"
Thrasher groaned as she staggered out of Golden Oaks library and record store, grabbing her guitar on the way out.
Ponies gathered around the stage as the seven pony musicians prepared for the signal to join Celestia on stage after she opened with her signature blistering solo.
Mayor Mare stood to the side of the stage preparing to announce the beginning of the concert. "Mares and gentlestallions!", she said in a loud voice, "I present to you our most righteous princess opening with her signature solo, Princess Celestia!"
The curtains opened and ponies gasped at the empty stage.
Mayor Mare stamped her hoof and said again in a loud voice, "Our most righteous guitarist, Princess Celestia!"
There was a puff of smoke and a glitter of sequins as a pitch black alicorn mare wearing a gaudy pink sequined body suit, cheesy glitter smeared on her face, cheap hot pink dye sprayed in her flowing mane that looked like the night sky. "Greetings my adoring fans!", she exclaimed in a fake joyous tone. An empty beer can sailed through the air and bounced off her head.
"Get off the stage!", Thrasher shouted.
"What's the matter? You don't recognize me? Your ruler and pop sensation?", Popstar Moon said.
Thrasher threw another empty can and shouted, "Next!"
"What did you do with Princess Celestia?!", Rainbow Dash shouted. As she went to fly towards the stage, Applejack grabbed her tail in her teeth.
"Hold on there filly!"
Twilight stepped forward in an aggressive stance, narrowing her eyes. "I know who you are.", she growled, "You're the most unrighteous Popstar Moon!"
Popstar Moon placed a hoof to her chest, "I'm moved! One of my fans recognize me! Allow me to perform for all of you my new single." She ducked another beer can thrown at her head. "Will you stop that?!"
Thrasher took out a bottle of beer. "I've got plenty more where this came from." She twisted the cap off and began drinking the beer.
Popstar Moon transformed into a cloud of glitter and flew off into the Everfree Forest.
During the panic, Twilight made her way back to Golden Oaks with Spike in tow. Twilight began pouring books. "No, not in this one! Not in this one either! Ugh! Do any of these books have anything on the Elements of metal?!", she exclaimed.
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie burst through the front door of Golden Oaks, Thrasher staggered in, drinking another beer and tossing the empty aside.
"How do you know about Popstar Moon?!", Rainbow demanded getting in Twilight's face, "Are you a spy?! Are you here to help her?! Huh?! Huh?!"
Applejack pulled Rainbow back. "She ain't no spy, Rainbow! But Ah think she knows the most about what's goin' on."
"So what is going on here darling?", Rarity asked, "Who is this Popstar Moon? And why does she have such...", she made a gagging sound as she made a gesture of pointing her hoof at her throat, "...unrighteous style?"
Twilight frantically flipped through books. "That's Popstar Moon!", she exclaimed, "She's an old enemy of Princess Celestia who wants to take away all creativity and replace all music with bland, soulless, heartless mass produced music. The only way she can be stopped is with some mystic artifacts called the Elements of metal. But I can't seem to find anything about them here in these books."
Thrasher slumped against the wall, snoring in a drunken stupor, causing all the ponies to momentarily look over at her.
"Great, she's passed out drunk again.", Rainbow said in an aggravated tone, "I'll wake her up." She scooped thrasher up in her forelimbs and took her to the bathroom.
"I found a book on the Elements of metal!", Pinkie said excitedly.
"Where did you find it?!", Twilight asked in a surprised tone.
"It was under E silly!"
Rainbow dropped Thrasher in tub, aimed the shower head at her and turned on the cold water. She slapped Thrasher across the face shouting, "Wake your drunken plot up! We don't have time to keep tending to you! We've got a bad pony to find and kick the crap out of!"
Thrasher groaned and put a hoof to her head as she blinked her bleary, unfocused eyes.
Twilight quickly flipped through the book until she reached the desired section. She read out loud, The Elements of metal are currently stored in the old abandoned recording studio of the two sisters somewhere deep in the Everfree Forest. The Elements of metal are sick beats, face melting solos, windmilling, moshing, headbanging and vocals. When the six are gathered together, the seventh will be revealed, the Element of brutality. After the seven elements come together, they will protect all the music of Equestria and form a most righteous band." Twilight looked up from the book, "I know what I have to do!" She bolted out the door and to the edge of the Everfree Forest.
Twilight paused before entering. Turning her head back, she saw the remaining six running up with instruments and portable amps strapped to their backs. "I can't ask you to go in there with me, it's too dangerous!"
"Sugercube, ya couldn't make us turn back, not matter how hard ya tried.", Applejack said.
"So you really plan on going in there?", Rainbow asked, "It just seems so unnatural. Clouds and weather move on their own."
"And animals take care of themselves.", Fluttershy squeaked.
"And it's just so...icky.", Rarity said.
"I think it's fuckin' metal!", Thrasher said.
As the seven of them entered into the forest, a cloud of glitter watched them from the shadows, before zipping ahead. The cloud of flew into a wolf den.
As the group made their way through the forest, red glowed from the shadows and a pack of slavering wolves stepped into the clearing.
Applejack, Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie shivered when they looked at the slavering predators. Thrasher threw an empty can of beer, hitting the lead wolf in the head, angering the pack. "Well I'm out of ideas.", Thrasher said, "Guess we're fucked."
Fluttershy stepped up, plugging her bass guitar into her portable amp. Taking the bass in her wings, she began plucking and and slapping the strings. As the wolves began swaying to the bass groove, she began picking up the tempo until she had a heavy, high energy groove. Fluttershy gritted her teeth as she began spinning her head in a windmill pattern and her long mane flying in a circle. The wolves eyes flickered from red, back to their normal yellow and then went crossed as they were hypnotized by the windmilling pegasus. Once Fluttershy finished playing the bass, the wolves all howled and left the clearing.
The remainder of the group stared in disbelief, except for Thrasher who just cracked open another beer. In the branches above, the glittery cloud sneered at the seven ponies and flew off into a group of trees down the path.
As the seven ponies walked through the path, their stomachs began to growl. The branches of the trees drooped down bearing fruit pleasing to the eyes. As six of the group reached up to grab the fruit in their teeth, Pinkie paused, her Pinkie sense told her something was wrong. Soon enough her concerns were confirmed when the six ponies ate the fruit and began arguing amongst each other, soon they started shoving each other and a few punches started flying.
Pinkie quickly hooked up her portable turntables and keyboard. She quickly began sampling a heavy beat until she had compiled what she need and began using her junglist skills. The six ponies stopped arguing and fighting as the beat began taking hold of them. The six ponies started jumping up and down, before running in circles and slamming into each other. As the six ponies continued moshing, they slammed into the trees, knocking the fruit from the branches and crushed it under hoof. Once pinkie finished her set, the six ponies slumped to the ground out of breath.
When thrasher took out a beer, the other five gestured for one. After they had drank the beers and tossed the empties away, they continued down the path. The glittery cloud watched from a nearby thicket, growling to itself before flying further ahead.
As the group continued down the path, a massive minotaur manifested out of the shadows, wearing a brightly colored spandex body suit, multicolored grease paint was slathered on his face and a neon orange codpiece on its groin. A lime green guitar appeared in his hands and he began strumming out a solo, vines shot out entangling the legs and hooves of the seven ponies.
Once the minotaur finished his solo, Rarity said, "Impressive darling, but let me show you how a proper lady does a solo." She hooked up her guitar and began playing. Her notes started out simple, but began increasing in complexity and tempo, soon her guitar began to sound like three guitars playing at once. As the solo began entering into screeching and grinding of distortion, the air began to heat up and the vines caught fire, causing them to recoil. Rarity stalked forward, her solo getting heavy as she strummed out tasty licks. The minotaur's body suit began to smoke as his grease paint began to melt, he placed his hands to his face screaming. Rarity finished her solo with a long warbling note as she ran her tongue along the strings. The minotaur fell to his knees as the flesh dripped from his face, with one last strum of her guitar, the minotaur fell over dead, the flesh of its face sizzling as it pooled on the ground, its body evaporated in a puff of glitter.
After Rarity put her guitar away, the group continued through the forest, the glittery cloud in the tree tops fumed before flying ahead.
The seven ponies continued down the path until a group of timberwolves blocked their path. Applejack too the drum machine off her back and hooked it up. As she played her drum solo, the very air began to vibrate, causing the timberwolves to stare back and forth at each other in confusion. Soon the leaves on the trees began to vibrate, then the tress and finally the ground. Applejack began floating in the air as the vibrations made her levitate. The timberwolves began to back up in fear until the came to the edge of a cliff, the vibrations from the drum solo made cracks from along the edge of the cliff and it collapsed, taking the terrified timberwolves with it.
The Glittery cloud raged as it watched the seven ponies continue on. It flew in silence ahead of the group.
In a clearing, the seven ponies came across bunnies and flowers singing a happy song as they danced. When the ponies tried to walk around the, more popped up blocking their path, when they tried to step over them, the bit and nipped their fetlocks.
Rainbow Dash growed in anger at the happy singing bunnies and flowers. She pulled out her guitar, hooked it up and began strumming out notes. Rainbow quickly went into a heavy solo as she thrashed her head back and forth, sending her rainbow main whipping wildly. The bunnies shrunk from the headbanging pegasus playing the heavy licks as the flowers began to try and uproot themselves to run. Soon the bunnies and flowers stopped singing and began headbanging as the music took control of them. When Rainbow finished playing, whipping her mane back one last time, the bunnies scattered into the undergrowth and the flowers wilted.
The glitter cloud snarled in anger as it watched the seven ponies walk on and it flew ahead.
As the ruins of the studio of the two sisters came into view, several boulders tumbled from the cliff in a landslide, blocking their path. Twilight pulled a microphone out of her jacket. She began singing into the microphone, her vocals starting almost angelic before she dipped into her fryes and they became deep, growling tones. Twilight shifted from a deep growl to high pig squeal and the boulders cracked apart, crumbling into pebbles.
The seven ponies entered into the ruins of the studio of the two sisters and entered into the crumbling throne room. On a pedestal stood six stylized stone skulls. The ponies took them down and set them in a group.
"Alright everypony, let's step outside to give Twi some time tuh figure figure this here element business out.", Applejack said, "'Sides Thrasher, ya need a lil bit to dry out an' sober up."
Thrasher bounced an empty off Applejack's head. "I'll tell you when I'm ready to sober up."
"Fer th' sake o' this mission, Ah'll let that pass fer now.", Applejack said walking outside, "But when we get back, yer gonna have an intimate conversation with my hoof."
Twilight studied the six stylized stone skulls, trying to find a way to activate them. "Come on! Come on!", she said exasperatedly as she began casting every spell she knew, "One of these has to unlock you!"
Popstar Moon appeared in a puff of glittery smoke, causing Twilight to yelp in surprise.
The six outside heard Twilight yelp and they ran back inside, seeing Popstar Moon. Thrasher threw the empty beer bottle she had been saving since Ponyville, hitting Popstar Moon, causing it to shatter as she staggered away.
Popstar Moon glared at Thrasher. "Seriously, I told you to stop that!"
Thrasher cracked open another beer, downed it and prepared to huck the empty. Popstar Moon teleported herself, Thrasher and the six stone elements to a nearby tower with a stage. "Did you think you could continuously throw trash at me?", Popstar Moon scoffed, she ducked as Thrasher threw the empty.
Thrasher darted around the room, downing beers and throwing the empties as Popstar Moon fired blasts of magic.
Looking out the window, the six saw flashes of light from the nearby tower and took off towards it.
Thrasher skidded to a stop hearing the other six coming up the stairs. She glared at Popstar Moon snorting and drug her hoof across the ground.
"You can't be serious.", Popstar Moon scoffed, "Look at yourself, you're drunk and you can barely stand."
Thrasher smiled. "I'm not that drunk." She charged at Popstar Moon, who counter charged. Thrasher pulled another beer, shook it and went into a slide. Cracking open the beer, it sprayed into Popstar Moon's face, causing her yelp in surprise. thrasher slid up to stage where the stone elements were. "You made me waste perfectly good beer!", she snarled, throwing the half-can in anger.
Popstar Moon wiped the last of the beer from her eyes and lit the magic in her horn, levitating the stone elements over to her. With a stomp of her hoof, she shattered the stone skulls and threw her head back in triumph laughing.
The six ponies ran into the room and gasped in shock, seeing the shattered stone skulls. "It can't be!", Twilight exclaimed.
"Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaa!", Popstar Moon laughed in triumph, "Yes my little ponies! Now the bland music will last forever."
Thrasher smirked. "That's where you're mistaken unrighteous one!" She strummed her guitar and the fragments levitated up off the floor and began circling the six ponies.
The first element attached to Applejack, becoming a spiked hooflet. Her stetson disappeared as it was replaced by a dirty red bandanna and a Ponytera tank top appeared on her body. Thrasher shouted, "On drums, the element of sick beats, Rotten Apple!" A magical drum kit appeared in front of Rotten Apple.
The second element attached to Fluttershy, becoming a nose piercing. Her mane became black with a pink stripe, a Maretallica T-shirt appeared on her body. "On bass, the element of windmilling, Shrieker!" A magical bass appeared in front of Shrieker.
The third element attached to Rarity, becoming a black leather choker with steel spikes. Her make-up became corpse paint as a black canvas body suit appeared on her body. "On lead guitar, the element of face melting solos Black Diamond!" A magical vintage guitar appeared before Black Diamond.
The fourth element attached to Pinkie, becoming a gas mask. A jumpsuit appeared on her body. "On keyboard and turntable, the element of moshing Face Punch!" A magical keyboard and turntable rig appeared before Face Punch.
The fifth element attached to Rainbow, becoming a steel chain shirt. Her mane became long dreadlocks. "On rhythm guitar, the element of headbanging Tornado!" A magical flying V guitar appeared in front of Tornado.
The sixth element attached to Twilight, becoming a headband. Spikes sprouted from her jacket and her mane became a long and flowing. "On lead vocals, the element of growling Black Magic!" A magical microphone floated into Black Magic's hooves.
"But that's only six elements! You need seven!", Popstar Moon shouted.
Thrasher help up her guitar. "It's been here all along!" She tosses it up into the air and it transforms from the battered guitar into a shining black guitar with a large red pentagram on it. "I, Thrasher am the element of brutality!" The other six levitated onto the stage as a banner reading "Mystic Princess" appeared.
Rotten Apple clacked her drumsticks together, "One! Two! One! Two Three! Four!" As they started playing, Popstar Moon tried to push forward, but was hurled back by a wall of sound. The music blasted the glitter, make-up and spray-on hair dye off Popstar Moon, she screamed. As Black Magic began growling into the mic, a stream of multicolored pentagrams launched from the stage and enveloped Popstar Moon.
"No! No!", Popstar Moon screamed as the pentagrams surrounded her.
The eyes of the seven ponies glowed red as towering specters of skeletal ponies stood over the stage. When they hit their finale, pyrotechnics exploded around the stage, and the room shook violently as a massive storm raged above with flashes of blood-red lightning. The seven ponies collapsed from exhaustion.
Slowly blinking back to consciousness, the seven ponies looked around seeing light pour in from outside. All around the room laid in ruins as Thrasher propped against the wall cracking open a beer. "Fucking metal!", she exclaimed.
Celestia appeared in a strum of distorted guitar, causing the ponies except for thrasher to bow, she instead drank her beer.
"You did very well my Twilight.", Celestia said.
Rubble shifted and tumbled away as a midnight blue alicorn mare with light blue mane crawled out on her belly and froze seeing Celestia.
"It's been a long time since I've seen you like this little sister.", Celestia said squatting down, "Won't you come home and rejoin the band?"
"Sister?!", the seven ponies exclaimed.
"So what do you say Luna, do you want to get the band back together?", Celestia asked.
"You want to know what I wnat to do, sister?", Luna asked. She jumped to her hooves and a guitar in the shape of a battle axe appeared. "I want to rock!" The guitar strummed letting out a distorted cord. "I...WANT...TO...ROCK!"