//------------------------------// // 018 - Getting the Ball Rolling // Story: Welcome to Distopia // by LucidDreamer //------------------------------// “It’s not the best looking building.” Rarity admitted as she, Lorraine, and the building contractor, Stone Steps looked at the rather run down two-story office complex, as well as the blueprints for what was going to be changed. “It’d take a bit of work, but we could do it. Garble’s a good kid.” Stone nodded and brushed some clay-brown mane out of her gray eyes. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the extra work either.” “And with the extra funds we managed to make, we can hire some help to get this all done before winter.” Rarity said with a nod. “So, I was thinking about having a little cafe here....” Lorraine pointed a claw at a spot on the building blueprints. “Hi Trixie.” Gilda said rather blandly as the bright blue mare waltzed into the house. “Trixie is here to spend time with her good friend Lorraine.” Trixie said with a nod. “We barely know each other.” Lorraine deadpanned from her spot at the dinner table. Said dinner table was covered with different papers outlining what she needed to get done, or have her friends do in her stead. Most of said papers seemed to be data, talking points, and research about the topics that she’d be speaking about at her seminars. Seminars she didn’t really want to do, primarily because she was stressed and was also worrying about John. Trixie looked over some of the papers, picking up a paper or two on occasion. “So, this is what you have been doing.” Trixie commented. “Yep at the school or at the town hall at least three times a week.” The noodle dragon nodded. “But… you suck at motivational speeches.” Trixie stated, blinking at the noodle. “Have you seen any of my speeches? I’m trying, alright?” Lorraine said with a slight frown and a huff. “Trixie could do these. Trixie could make these flashier.” Trixie nodded. “Motivational speeches need to actually be motivational.” “Is that an offer?” Gilda asked with a chuckle. “If you can do it without losing the point of the whole damn message, then go ahead.” Lorraine snarked at the unicorn. “Trixie will need to borrow some of these.” Trixie nodded. “Is there a particular order?” “I just pick a theme and work around that.” Lorraine shrugged. “Trixie can do that.” Trixie grinned and nodded happily. “And what do you get out of it?” Gilda asked from her spot on the couch. “Trixie just wants to support her friend.” Trixie nodded at the griffon. “But you barely know her.” Gilda raised a brow. “Trixie’s point still stands.” Trixie nodded again. “Well, here’s the draft for tomorrow’s seminar at town hall.” Lorraine plodded over and held out a stack of papers. “I’ve also included the research notes. It’s about herds and other important societal movements throughout history.” “And now Trixie needs to read.” Trixie said, levitating the stack out of the noodle dragons grip. “For the love of God, do not fuck this up.” Lorraine said as the mare plopped into a chair and started reading. “That went very well. Do ponies normally clap after speeches?” Trixie asked Lorraine as the pair met backstage. “Not at my speeches, but I know mine suck.” Lorraine shrugged. “But yours normally get polite clapping.” Spike added, trying to be helpful as he sat on Lorraine’s back. “By the way nice special effects.” “Some points need to be specially emphasized.” Trixie nodded with a flourish of her cape. “Now, shall Trixie do this more? It was a nice change of pace compared to her usual stage shows.” “But wouldn’t that be asking too much of you? You’ve already got your stage shows.” Lorraine asked, frowning a little. “Trixie hasn’t had anything booked for a while.” Trixie shrugged. “Trixie has free time.” “But this isn’t exactly something you can just pick up and drop on a whim.” Lorraine explained. “And Trixie isn’t planning on leaving anytime soon either. Trixie happens to like it here and the basement is comfortable.” Trixie nodded. “But aren’t you getting your wagon back soon?” The noodle dragon asked. “Trixie may do some work on her wagon once she gets it back.” Trixie said with a hum. “Trixie could take the movement all across Equestria.” “Couldn’t hurt.” Spike shrugged. “Well, we do need the publicity.” Lorraine nodded. “How would you feel being hired full time?” Trixie blinked. “Would Trixie be paid?” “Why wouldn’t I pay you?” Lorraine deadpanned. “Yay!” Trixie cheered. “Trixie has not had a steady paycheck in years.” “We’d better make this official and shit. Time to go bug Rarity.” Lorraine said with a sigh. “She handles all the business stuff.” “Then we shall go find the provider of capes.” Trixie said with a nod and another cape flourish. “You’d be surprised how many slightly different capes Trixie owns.” Spike murmured into Lorraine’s ear. “As nice as the lecture was, especially since it was given by a pony, I can’t help but feel rather cheated that Lorraine wasn’t the one giving it.” Spoiled Rich’s snide voice came from the entrance to backstage. Lorraine, Trixie, and Spike all looked over at her. “Do you like it or not?” Lorraine deadpanned. “It was very informative, I’m just surprised you chose… her.” Spoiled gestured a hoof at Trixie. “There’s some rather disturbing rumors going around about this mare.” “If we haven’t heard them, then we’re probably in the right company.” Spike commented, getting a glare from Spoiled. “You haven’t been raised right, talking back to a mare like that.” Spoiled fumed. “I’m a dragon, so pony rules really don’t apply.” Spike shrugged. “So, to quote John, fuck the fuck off.” “Spike, no. We don’t swear at people.” Lorraine craned her head around to frown at him. “That was very rude. Apologise.” “Fine…” Spike said with a groan. “I’m sorry for telling you to fuck off, that was mean.” “You’re better with foals than I gave you credit for.” Spoiled sniffed and looked down her nose at the noodle dragon. “Still, I would’ve appreciated it if it was you who gave the speech especially since we had our conversation.” “Well, Trixie had the skills.” Lorraine admitted. “Wasn’t that talk where you kicked her dog?” Trixie asked bluntly. Spoiled blinked. “I did no such thing… the- the dog just jumped in front of Lorraine.” “Oh, so you were actually going to kick Lorraine, got it.” Trixie nodded. There was a wash of blue flames and Lorraine was in her Persona form. The giant of a unicorn looked down at the earth mare, as said mare paled. “I- I have to go. Thank you, Trixie, for the lovely seminar.” Spoiled managed to blurt out before speed trotting away. Spike seemed unphased by being on Lorraine the Unicorn’s back. Trixie however gaped at the mare, her jaw nearly hitting the floor. Lorraine looked at the now smaller mare. “What?” “You’re beautiful.” Trixie blurted out. “Thanks, I guess?” Lorraine blinked. “I mean, she fucked with my dog. You don’t fuck with my dog.” “Noted. Don’t fuck with her dog.” Spike said as if notating something. “This is in surprisingly good condition.” John commented as he walked along the dusty counters of rather large kitchens he found himself in. The Castle of the Two Pony Sisters made for a decent place to stay, despite the dust and general clutter. “It could be usable, now where would I find something that would make for a decent rag?” The smol bug hummed as he leapt off to an adjacent island counter. “This whole place is triggering my OCD need to clean things.” He hopped down to the floor and scrounged around in some cupboards until he popped out with what looked like some ancient towels. “Hey, I found something. Yay.” He closed his eyes and scrunched up his face as he shook out the towel. Moments later the bug raced out of the kitchen, coughing at the cloud of dust he kicked up. “Bad idea!” He said, shaking his head and pawing at his face with his hooves. ‘You’re doing much better than I expected. Not to be rude, but I didn’t think you’d stay out here more than a day.’ “Hey!” John thrust a hoof in the air. “I intend to actually get something out of this whole spur-of-the-moment self-exile thing! Was it stupid? Probably but I’d feel like more of an idiot for just coming back the next day. Like I was some tantruming child or something.” ‘But you technically were.’ “Well yes,” John frowned as he trotted back towards the entrance hall. “However I tantrumed because I couldn’t just do nothing while I got taken away somewhere to get forcefully reeducated. I’d prefer not to be powerless anymore.” ‘I understand.’ “And I’m also tired of Lorraine and I just getting dumped on constantly.” John snorted as he trotted into the entrance hall. The sun shone down through the broken room, making the whole hall be cast in bright sunlight and dark shadows. “Because RGRE is fucking stupid but I live here now. Seriously, there are times that I can completely forget it’s a thing, and start to treat ponies like regular people. Then I get famous and lusted after, or Spoiled does pretty much anything, or I get looked at like I’m some second-class citizen. Then the whole illusion breaks. Again.” ‘You’ve had this on your mind a while, haven’t you?’ “Ya think?!” John snapped, his eyes starting to glow. “I just want to live in peace, with my girlfriend, and hang out with the friends we’ve made, but noooo. You’re not allowed to have a normal life because Destiny is a needy, attention-seeking bitch, and throws curveballs at us like, ha ha, Spoiled goes Reee.” The bug was starting to glow. ‘John.’ John started to pace. “I put on a brave face, or just hey, I need to be the rock for my girl, or say something to release some of the tension in the room. And the last one’s a fucking defense mechanism! I’m really surprised I haven’t blown up at people yet, why, because I don’t want people to see me mad! I’m not me when I get angry! I’m just primal rage or some shit.” ‘John, if Lorraine is allowed to feel in general. You’re allowed to feel angry, or show said anger.’ “But that’s- fucking- AH!” John snapped, plopped onto his haunches, and screamed into his hooves. There came a woof. The glow around the bug was instantly gone as John was snapped out of his ranting. He looked over to the open entrance hall doors. There was Koromaru with a little harness attached to a little cart filled with stuff. The smol bug blinked. His heart was still racing from his raving, and was little light-headed, but he got to his hooves and trotted over the dog. “Hey buddy.” John said with a smile. The dog gave a yip and rose onto his hind legs to start licking the bugs face. “Gah! Ah! No! No licking, bleh dog breath!” John shook and whipped his head around to avoid the attacking dog tongue. “I get it, you want me to feel better! Stahp!” Koromaru finally relented, plopping back down to all fours and nodding at the cart. “What, is Timmy stuck in the well?” John asked. The dog just gave him a deadpan stare and slowly shook his head. John winced. “Sorry. So! What’s in the cart?” He asked trotting to tug, what turned out to be a blanket off the cart. Inside were some supplies. Seemingly mostly canned soup. However there were a few books, a small black box, and a few other necessities. “Oooo! Things!” The smol bug started levitating out the various items as Koromaru just wagged his tail. John noticed a presence next to him. He paused, and looked to his left. There was a brown diamond dog… wearing Solaire’s equipment. “Solaire what are you doing?” John blinked. “Helping you unpack.” Solaire replied, setting down a crate of soups. “The quicker we do that, the quicker this wonderful little canine can return home.” Koromaru yipped.  John blinked, then shrugged. “If a God wants to lower himself to unpacking a cart then that’s fine by me.” “Koromaru reminds me of someone.” Solaire commented as he stacked the various crates together. “Oh? Who?” John asked as he tugged out a pillow and set it on the crates. “Also, I feel Rarity packed this because this is like playing Tetris in reverse.” Solaire chuckled. “I am reminded of a companion I had back when I walked the world as a young Godling in ancient days. Her name was Amaterasu. Where she walked, the barren lands sprouted into grasses and trees. I may have expedited the spreading of Life by playing fetch with her on occasion.” “I suddenly have the mental image of a giant star hurling a small asteroid at a dog made of stars.” John said, blinking. “Nothing so cosmically grand.” Solaire shook his head. “Just a biped throwing a blackened rock at the goodest of girls.” “That’s cute, but you using modern slang just sounds weird.” John shrugged. “My apologies.” Solaire ducked his head a little in a small nod. “Thank you for bringing- Oooo a letter!” John said disappearing into the cart and reappearing with a small envelope. Which he hopped out of the cart and opened. “Aaaaand Lorraine’s trying to get everything done now so she can come visit me.” John sighed. “Because of course she is.” “She does care about you John, quite a bit. It’s not surprising that she worries and wants to see you.” Solaire added, setting all the supplies in a nice pile. “But I’m still worrying about her health and what the stress is doing to her.” John countered, patting the top of Koromaru’s head. “I am sure she’s just fine.” Solaire nodded. “Are you telling me she’s actually fine or just trying to make me worry less?” John asked, glancing at the armored dog. “Yes.” Solaire said with a chuckle. “Well… great, actually.” John blinked. “Now, thank you Koromaru.” John scratched at the dog’s ears. “But now we have to haul all this into the room I’ve taken.” Lorraine casually plodded down the street, saddlebags weighed down with things from her recent shopping trip. It was quiet and as she rounded a corner, she stopped. Sitting by the side of a building was a blue box. A tall, rectangular box with two doors that had frosted glass windows at the top and above said door was a black sign that read 'Public Police Call Box' in bold white letters. The door opened inward and a white coated unicorn stallion with a curly, light gray mane poked his head out and looked at her. "What happened to you?" he asked, he had a noticeable Scottish brogue, and stepped out of the box, his long black coat swishing behind him. He looked at her confusion. "You're all pink and noodly." "Doctor?" Lorraine asked hesitantly. The stallion looked at her oddly. "And why are you calling me Doctor? You haven't called me that in years!" "I think you might be confusing me with someone else?" Lorraine suggested. 'Doctor' shook his head. "No, no, I haven't. You're Lorraine! You're just... Pink!" Lorraine paused. "You're The Doctor." "Finally we're getting somewhere!" the stallion said and rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm The Doctor and you are Lorraine. Now if we can just figure out why you look all different. Did you eat anything odd?" "No, I think you have the time wrong." Lorraine pointed out. "No I don't, I promised you I'd meet up with you while your boyfriend's off on his little adventure and here I am." The Doctor explained and suddenly stopped, eyes wide in realization. "Oooh, you haven't met me yet, not properly." he walked around her as he began to explain. "We're meeting out of sync, there's so many fixed points in your timeline I can't always be here when you need me. The TARDIS compensates by landing in the points of your timeline that have the most flux, tiny little pockets of possibility that are ripe for the taking!" "Yeah, I can see that but, hang on, what do I call you if I don't call you The Doctor?" Lorraine asked. The Doctor smiled. "You'll find out soon." Lorraine and The Doctor sat at a table inside Bon Bon's Tea Shop. "It's strange, I forgot you were pink." the stallion commented. "What's wrong with pink?" Lorraine asked, slightly offended. "Nothing, you don't look right. You're all long and noodly and stressed. You're not happy when you're stressed," he replied and got progressively more animated. "You see everything as something to run from or a problem you can't solve! Stress doesn't do you any good, it just makes you upset! Have you seen yourself when you're upset?! You get too caught up in crying that you can't even admit that you want a hug. You need hugs!" "Okay." Lorraine said awkwardly and shrunk back slightly. The Doctor caught himself and cleared his throat just as awkwardly. "I'm not angry at you, just everything else! Your boyfriend is a decent bloke so whoever caused this mess is one hell of an idiot and I should know! I came here to cheer you up and instead scared and confused you." "It's fine, I'm just getting used to the fact that I'm talking to you," Lorraine said casually. "You're kinda my hero, at least your fictional counterpart." "I can say, with utmost certainty, that what you know about your show is true for me," The Doctor stated. "Time Lord, TARDIS, Two hearts, regeneration, Bad Wolf, all of it, barring some exceptions." "I want to ask but I know I shouldn't." the luck dragon admitted. "I can tell you one thing," The Doctor said. "You and your boyfriend are always welcome on the TARDIS." "Really? I don't think I'm suited for your kind of life though, sorry." Lorraine apologized. "You always stay onboard the TARDIS whenever we meet, John and I do some exploring and you come out when it's safe." he assured her. "You know could join me for a quick trip, just a hop to another planet?" "No thanks, not when John's out in the middle of the Everfree by himself," Lorraine said sincerely and hesitantly added. "Could you take me to see him?" "I can't, his time there is a fixed point." "I thought so," Lorraine sighed but looked hopeful. "Could I look around the TARDIS? I don't really have anything to do for the rest of the day and it beats sitting around waiting for stuff to get done and I can’t do anything until tomorrow anyway." Lorraine looked sheepish. "Everyone else is busy with work, or doing my work for me, that all I could think of doing today was a quick grocery run for my snacks. My dog, Koromaru, is sending John some stuff," she smiled nervously. "I feel antsy." "You're welcome aboard the TARDIS, I could show you the library, or the media room!" The Doctor stated excitedly and hopped out of his seat. "Or we could have a picnic in one of the gardens, you like picnics." "I could just take a look around the console room, I don't want to be a hassle." Lorraine replied as she got up. He rounded on her "A hassle? You? Don't be ridiculous. I am giving you the full tour!" John was reading. For whatever reason, when he was home he never felt like he had the energy to read. Now, the TV might have had something to do with it, but he never made the time to actually do any reading. Currently he was sitting on a mattress in the little blanket nest he made for himself and reading what equated to a Power Rangers, Power Ponies crossover comic that Spike had lent him. All in all it was pretty decent. A recognizable barking got his attention. Koromaru had returned! John sprang up from his nest, dropping the comic, raced down the stairs, and headed towards the entrance hall. On arriving in said hall he not only saw the aforementioned shiba with a small pack on his back. He also saw Lorraine the unicorn, also with her own saddlebags. “Lorraine? What are you doing here?” John blinked in surprise. “I mentioned in the letter that I was gonna show up.” Lorraine replied. “Right, I just didn’t expect you so soon. If I knew, I’d’ve tried to clean up more.” John gestured at the fallen columns. “Eh, it’s fine.” Lorraine shrugged. “So, how are you, you okay?” “I’m… processing?” John said with a hum. “Kinda taking this as a decompression and self-reflection trip.” He nodded. Solaire the diamond dog walked out from the hallway that John emerged from. “Lorraine, welcome. I was just finishing brewing John some tea.” “I didn’t think he’d stay in a physical form, but I’ve had a Sun God as a butler-slash-therapist for like… a few days now.” John deadpanned. “It’s not bad… just… odd.” “Huh.” Lorraine nodded. “At least you’re not out here by yourself.” “Wanna find a spot to dump your stuff off?” John offered. “Yeah, preferably somewhere warm. It’s fucking freezing out there.” Lorraine nodded with a small shudder. “Ah, I believe I know a spot.” Solaire nodded and disappeared down the hallway. As Lorraine started down the hallway and John joined her, John said. “Between you and me, I think he’s enjoying having an actual body.” “He seems nice enough.” Lorraine commented. Lorraine got situated in what had once been some noble’s room. Why? It had a nice big fireplace. Which was now crackling merrily. “So yeah… I’ve been basically getting anger management counseling; some meditation techniques; a little sparing; since I wanna protect you and our friends; and I’ve been getting my shape-shifting under control.” John said with a nod, leaning on the arm of a chair and looking at the noodle sitting next to him. “I have learned that I can give myself hands, among other things.” He giggled. “I don’t like the idea of you fighting, well- anyone I care about fighting. But it can’t be helped. At least you’re making progress, so that’s good.” Lorraine nodded. “Yep yep. I mean, being a giant kaiju, or robot, or small pony or other race might come in useful.” John nodded. “Hmmmm… I wonder if I could help with construction as a giant monster?” “I don’t know, sounds useful though.” Lorraine shrugged. John leaned over and nuzzled her. “Hey, I missed you.” The smol bug was picked up out of his chair and hugged to the chest fluff of the noodle dragon. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” “Sorry for worrying you.” John apologized. “Kinda just was… fed up.” “I should’ve done more to help you.” Lorraine said. “Hey, there are some things we just can’t control. I just took a cheaters way out because I didn’t want to go to a pony boarding school.” The smol bug replied. “We could’ve worked a way out of that.” The noodle dragon looked down at him. “Well, yes, that is true. However, how long would it have been before all the bureaucracy got sorted out? I might’ve had to stay there awhile anyway, and that just does not sound appealing.” John’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Even so, it would’ve been temporary.” Lorraine nodded. “I know.” John sighed. “I know. I acted a bit too quickly. But I’m okay out here for now. Have we heard anything from Celestia?” "Well, the Herd Harassment laws she's been trying to pass have hit a roadblock, people are spreading misinformation about what they actually do so it's causing a stir in larger cities," Lorraine explained. "Any charges against you have been dropped thankfully, the local paper spun the whole mess as a tragic ‘celebrity is a real person and acted out of self-defense’ thing. So, your popularity is still a thing, kinda anyway." “Greeeeaaaat.” John rolled his eyes. “If it’s at least lessened, I’ll be happy.” “It looks that way.” Lorraine nodded. “We’re making a lot more progress with the town in general. Should have the Safe Space up before Christmas, and Trixie is now our primary speaker. So less work for me to do.” “Huh. I never would’ve guessed Trixie would be one for public speaking, at least in a more educational format.” John shrugged and nestled into Lorraine’s chest fluff. “She’s actually fairly good at it.” Lorraine nodded. John smiled. “That’s great.” Dinner was stew. Stew made by Solaire, who had apparently got the ingredients himself. Needless to say, it was amazing. There was little talking as the pair sat on one of the few usable balconies and watched the sky turn the colors of evening. There was a loud ~whoosh~ sound followed by a gust of wind. The pair only shielded their bowls. “There you are!” John jumped. Lorraine looked up from her bowl. Rainbow was hovering in mid-air. “Gilda had to tell me that you were still out here!” John blinked. “What’s wrong?” “Giant hydra! Attacking Ponyville! John! Monster mode! Smack it!” Rainbow rattled off. “Rainbow, he’s a civilian! You have guards for this.” Lorraine stared at her, frowning. “But it’s a big nasty one! The guards are having trouble!” Rainbow gesticulated wildly. “Fine, I think I can drag off a hydra!” John groaned as he got up. “But- But you don’t have to fight.” Lorraine said. “We can evacuate the town and call in the Guard, Hell, the Princesses.” “Have to, no. Want to, yes. Want to only because I believe I’m capable of actually helping.” John nodded as he trotted back towards the door. “Fine, but I’m going with you.” Lorraine said, getting up and engulfing herself in blue flames. Lorraine the Unicorn looked at the smol bug as he stopped at the doorway. “I don’t want to see you getting hurt.” “Hey, not that I should get anxious about getting hurt, but I have my kickass white mage to support me in case anything bad happens.” John grinned at her. “I’m not gonna stand by and do nothing, not when I have the ability to help you.” Lorraine stared at him. “So, same reasoning for both of us.” John nodded then popped his neck. “I know I have wings but…” He looked at the edge of the balcony. “Fuck it.” He charged towards the edge of the balcony, engulfing himself in a green light that shifted into green flames as he leapt off. The titanic hydra was rampaging through Ponyville. It had deep green scales and plodded around on a pair of thick legs ending in claws. It’s body was long bearing two tails, each tipped in red, fan-like fins. It had four long necks ending in snake-like heads. In the forehead of each head was a gem. From left to right was, red, light-blue, yellow, then light green. The eyes of the snake heads glowed with an eerie shifting of blue and yellow. A strange dark aura surrounded the beast, a blueish-purple miasma of fog or smoke. Unicorn guards shot bolts at it, but the shots only deflected off the scaly hide. Other guards raced to evacuate the town. The red-gemmed head lashed forward and belched out a stream of flame at a pegasus guard that got too close. Meanwhile the light-green head exhaled a gust of wind, blowing away a few unicorn guards. A mighty roar made all the heads turn. John, the Gomora stomped down the path of destruction left by the hydra.  John’s claws were balled into fists as his steps shook the very ground. Yes, John was quite bigger than the hydra, he could see that even as it turned to properly face him. The hydra however… The light-blue head leashed out and shot a stream of cold wind, like it just exhaled a blizzard. The blizzard breath rolled over John’s left leg, causing him to stagger. As the snow fog leftover rolled away, John’s foot was encased in ice. The hydra charged forward and slammed it’s chest into John’s waist, causing the Gomora to fall backwards, shattering the icy prison that held his foot. The light-green head leashed forward and bit down on John’s shoulder. John roared and flailed. A fist swung into the light-green head, dislodging it. The hydra backed up as the light-green head shook itself. John got to his feet. As he did three large rings of white light surrounded the dinosaur, causing the wound on his shoulder to knit together. John growled and stomped towards the hydra, rearing an arm back, he swung it forward and slammed it into the light-green head. The gem on the head shattered on contact, as the glow left the head’s eyes. The head fell limp. As if in response, the yellow head snapped forward and a bolt of bright yellow lighting arced out and struck John’s right arm. Static arced up and down his arm as it fell limp. John winced but didn’t get much time to do much else as the red head shot forward and unleashed a gout of flame directly into his face. John’s claw snapped out and grabbed right under the head, cutting off the flames. The rings engulfed John again as his arm twitched back to life and the blackened flesh of his face melted back to the standard brown. John’s eyes narrowed. His head reared back and snapped forward as he slammed his bony forehead into the red gem. Which summarily broke. The now very ticked Gomora dropped the limp head as the yellow head blasted John’s chest, point-blank with a bolt of lighting. Lightning arced over his whole body as he let out a pained groan and sank down to a knee. John let out a deep growl as his frill-like crest lit up bright orange. Bright yellow static built up around his horn as he reared back. His whole body rolled forward as an orange-black beam erupted from his horn and engulfed the hydra. The hydra, for its part was not only thrown backwards, but started to disintegrate mid-flight, only to finally explode into black mist. The beam died as quickly as it started. John groaned, only for three rings to encircle him yet again. A throaty chuckle left his mouth as he looked over his shoulder. Not far back, was the glowing form of Lorraine. As one, they were engulfed in flames of blue and green. John was left in a crater of his own making, lying spread-eagled as he stared up at the sky. There came a slow plodding, then a noodly head looked down at him from the edge of the crater. “You okay?” “Processing. Gimme a min.” John said, blinking slowly. “Actually, scratch that. Gonna pass out.” Lorraine made her way down the crater and set the limp bug on her back. She was already on her way back to the house as the cheering started. “You are in the paper.” Gilda said, setting a paper down on the coffee table in front of the smol bug, who was nestled into a blanket on the couch next to the noodle dragon. John blinked down at the front page, which showed a picture of Gomora head-butted one of the hydra heads. “Huh.” John blinked. “This is gonna be a great boost, I can feel it.” His voice dripped sarcasm. “For what it’s worth, it’s all positive.” Alastor commented from the dining table as he sipped his coffee. “Yaaaay…” John replied flatly. “On the bright side, Nightmare Night’s in a few days.” Lorraine said happily. John blinked tiredly and looked over at her. “And then you’ll get to be a cute doe girl.” “A useful doe girl.” Lorraine countered. “I’d come up with a comeback but I’m tired.” John blinked. “So, what kind of deer are you turning into?” Gilda asked, raising a brow at the soon not to be noodle dragon. “Flora Doe. Basically a deer-dryad.” Lorraine said with a nod. “The Floramancy is instinctual and it should come in handy.” “How quickly before you turn our backyard into Harvest Moon in real life?” John asked with a chuckle. Lorraine deadpanned. “Ha ha, very funny.”