Author: benxlabs
Prompt: You awake on a beautiful, deserted island. You’re starting to feel less drunk than normal. There’s only one logical course of action. Find the rum.
Title: The Hunt for the Rum: A Tale of Randomness, Adventure, And Extremely Long Philosophical Sounding Statements
"Wurgh...no really, I- urrgh...couldn't drink...uugh...another cup...urgh..." Gin Hogger rolled over in his sleep. Something wasn't right. And that was exactly what wasn't right. He knew something wasn't right, which meant something wasn't right, but not in the way that you might think that something wasn't right. The fact that he thought that something wasn't right meant something was very wrong. He was usually too drunk to tell if a pony was a colt or a mare, and he knew it. At this point in time and space, he was somehow able to realize something wasn't right, which meant something. He. Was. Not. Drunk. Or, at least not as drunk as he normally was. That was very bad. For him at least. He groped around with his eyes closed, unwilling to confirm his worst suspicions.
In the end, he had to. After all, could you really effectively reach for a bottle of alcohol with your eyes closed? Bracing himself, he slowly opened his eyes. What he saw was not what he saw. Not to be philosophical or anything, but considering that he had just recovered from a hangover, his vision was still blurred. So he saw that he was on a tropical beach, but he did not see it. Now, the fact that he did not see it does not mean that he did not see it, but rather he did not see it the way that he saw it. And what he saw did not amuse him. He was on a beach. It was a tropical one, one that could almost be described as paradise. Almost. One thing was missing. Rum. He narrowed his eyes. Raising his keen nose to the air, he took a deep breath.
Then he smelled it. A massive wave of alcohol smelling air wafted over him. To most ponies, the smell would be overwhelmingly pungent. But to him, the smell was one of beauty. What his nose told him differed from other ponies noses. What he smelled was different, yet the same. His sense of smell could smell, but not the way others smelled. He smelled only those things that others did not wish to smell. And those smells, were his favorite. Following his nose, he arrived at the base of a waterfall. The waterfall had a peculiar scent. Curious, he dipped his head and took a sip. He drew his head back in surprise. The waterfall was actually rum! He smiled. So this island was paradise after all.
He drank and he drank, yet he never drank. He saw he was drinking and knew he was drinking, yet he never drank a single gulp. He tried to drink and kept on drinking, but never once did an ounce of the rum entire his belly. He felt a powerful force pulling him backwards. Pulling him back, away from his precious rum. "No! My rum! My ruuuuuuuummmmmmmm" He cried. He bolted upright, lifting his face out of a barrel of rum. He looked around. He was in the stores of a bar. So it had all been a dream.
But opportunity was calling, and opportunity was not something you should pass up on. He drank.