Ponies:Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Friendship

by MasterBlaster


This Town Sucks

10 Years Later

“Twilight wake up..” A voice sounded out in the distance. Twilight rolled over in her sleep.

“Wake up,” The voice started getting closer. She let out a light moan still in dreamland.

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Twilight then felt heat radiate through her body.

“I WANNA RIDE THE MERCEDES!” Twilight screamed out waking up in a flash. Standing before her was her friend Spike already dressed for the day. In the ten years since they first met Spike had grown into a strapping young man. He even had his wings. And Twilight had grown into a beautiful woman.

“Faust damn it Spike I was in the middle of a great dream. Couldn’t you have given me five more minutes?” Twilight asked rubbing her eyes.

“Sorry but Mom has a task for you,” Spike explained.

“Ugh what time is it?” Twilight asked reaching for her phone. It was 8:00 in the morning.

“I already made breakfast. Get dressed. Big day today,” Spike said in his usual chipper tone before flying back down to the kitchen. Twilight got out of bed and started getting dressed. She looked out her window which offered unbeatable views of the city and the town of Ponyville in the distance. Normally an apartment like this would cost a fortune, however Twilight’s status as a personal student of Celestia got her some sweet ass upgrades. She walked downstairs to the smell of waffles which Spike was already digging into.

“Did she say what the task was? It’s not another damn diplomatic mission is it? When she sent me to the Griffinlands I got robbed and almost burned at the stake by the crazy Death Cult they have!”

“Don’t remind me. That was a shitty week. And she wants you to go to Ponyville to help out with the Summer Sun Celebration,” Spike explained

“What? Why me?” Twilight asked.

“Well she wants you to..and I quote “get out more and make some damned friends,” Spike explained.

Twilight groaned in annoyance.

“I don’t have time for friends. I gotta study!” Twilight pouted.

“For what?! All you and Mom do is sit around drinking tea and talking about Faust knows what. You do need to get out more. Make some friends. Or even better get a damn boyfriend,” Spike said.

“A boyfriend? As if. And that’s pretty rich coming from you, how many girls have you brought back here?” Twilight asked.

“IT WAS ONLY THE ONE!” Spike said blushing red.

“Suuuure and that turned out quite well,” Twilight said with a teasing smirk.

“Not my fault she ended up being a psychopath,” Spike said putting his face down on the table to hide his embarrassment.

“Alright whatever let’s get to Ponyville. Get this shit over with,” Twilight said finishing her breakfast and tossing the car keys to Spike.

“So I’m driving?” Spike asked.

“Gotta work on stuff,” Twilight said innocently. Spike rolled his eyes.

“I’m not your chauffeur you know,” Spike said annoyed.



A couple hours later Spike had parked the car by the town hall. Celestia had given the duo a full list of tasks to handle.

“Alright let’s see..first thing is food and that’ll be handled at Sweet Apple Acres. And I still say you should try and make friends,” Spike said.

“Come on with who?” Twilight asked. Right as she said that a young woman who didn’t look much older then Twilight and Spike strolled into the area. She was pink all over.

“Why not her? Doesn’t look much older then us,” Spike said. The woman slowly made her way over to the duo.

“Just try,” Spike said. The woman cast a curious glance at the duo.

“Uhhh...hi?” Twilight said unsure. The woman let out a loud gasp of shock before rushing off leaving a very confused duo.

“Well..that went well,” Twilight said with sarcasm before walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. Spike let out a sigh before following behind.


Twilight and Spike walked through the archway and into Sweet Apple Acres.

In the fields Twilight could see a very tall and muscular man working on the crops, an old woman knitting something, a young teenage girl who didn’t look much older then 16 carrying buckets of apples and another woman who looked around the same age as Twilight and Spike getting apples off of the trees and putting them into the buckets.

“She looks important,” Spike said looking at the woman. The duo walked towards the woman who took notice.

“Howdy,” The woman said climbing down her ladder.

“May I help you with something?” The woman asked.

“Yes my name is Twilight Sparkle and this is my assistant Spike. We’re diplomats from Canterlot and we’re just wondering how everything is going in terms of the Summer Sun Celebration.

“Twilight..this isn’t another country you don’t need to use diplomat,” Spike said facepalming.

“Well my name is Applejack. It’s going well all these apples are for the food we’re prepping,” Applejack explained. The teenage girl went by and picked up another bucket.

“This is my sister Apple Bloom,” Applejack said.

“Howdy there,” Apple Bloom said tipping her hat before carrying more apples to the house.

“Well I do hope everything will be ready by tonight,” Twilight said. Applejack tipped her hat.

“It will be sugar cube. Pleasure meeting you,” Applejack said before getting back to work. Twilight and Spike then left the property and went back into town.


“Ok next up is the Decor. We shall find the one in charge at the Carousel Boutique. Twilight and Spike walked to a large building at the center of town.

“Who needs all that space?” Twilight asked. Spike shrugged his shoulders. The duo walked inside to see a beautiful young woman hard at work.

“Sorry but I’m very busy preparing for the celebration. Please come back later,” She spoke with a very posh British accent.

“Ah yes. My name is Twilight and this is my assistant Spike. We’re diplo-I mean..visitors from Canterlot. We’re here to see how everything is coming along,” Twilight explained.

“Oh-OH MY. Oh yes please come in. Please forgive me I seem to be underdressed I didn’t know you were coming. My names Rarity, would you like some tea?” Rarity asked quickly.

“No that’s fine. How’s the decor going?” Twilight asked.

“Oh it’s going quite well darling. As you can see I’ve taken the liberty of creating a large tapestry that describes Celestia’s victory during the Revolution,” Rarity said rolling out a large tapestry.

“Impressive, most impressive. I’m sure Celestia will be very pleased,” Twilight said admiring the woman’s work.

“Oh do you think so? It would be a dream of mine to work at Canterlot,” Rarity explained before going on about her life story and her dreams.

“Oh no here we go,” Twilight whispered to herself before casting a glance at Spike. Spike was looking at Rarity with an open jaw. Twilight didn’t need brains to know exactly what he was thinking.

“Don’t even think about it,” Twilight said. Spike quickly snapped out of it.

“I-I don’t know what your talking about,” Spike said as he frantically scribbled down notes.

“Well Miss Rarity we do appreciate everything but we must be going, lots to do,” Twilight said.

“Oh yes yes of course. Have a pleasant day,” Rarity said as the duo walked out of the boutique.


“Alright next is weather,” Spike said. Twilight looked up at the cloudy sky.

“Well whoever is responsible is not doing a good job,” Twilight said.

Suddenly a blue blur sped across the sky and cleared the skies within seconds.

“Woah...” Spike said in awe. The blur sped down to the ground and landed right in front of the duo.

“Clouds cleared in 23 seconds with no casualties. NEW RECORD BABY!” The woman shouted in victory before taking notice of the duo before her.

“Who the Tartarus are you?” The woman asked.

“Uhh my name is Twilight, this is Spike, and uhh....I see you have everything taken care of..keep it up,” Twilight said not knowing what to say.

“Well names Rainbow Dash. And damn straight I got everything under control. They wouldn’t put me in charge of weather if they didn’t have faith in me.” Rainbow said.

“Yeah...I can see that,” Twilight said.

“Of course you can. I’m as awesome as they come, I’m the best there ever was baby. I-“ Rainbow then went on a long speech about how awesome she was. She didn’t notice Twilight and Spike slip away.


“And last is music,” Twilight and Spike walked to a treehouse which was filled with animals. They heard the sounds of birds whistling and the soft voice of a young woman. They walked towards it and saw a woman leading the birds in song. Next to them a young man strummed a guitar.

“Hello,” Twilight said. The woman stopped and looked at the duo before reeling back.

“My names Twilight. We’re here looking-oh forget it I’m tired of repeating the same thing just how are things going for the Celebration?” Twilight asked.

The woman said nothing other then a low whimper.

The man next to her let out a sigh.

“She doesn’t talk much. She’s really shy. That’s Fluttershy and I’m her brother Breeze,” Breeze said.

“Well I assume everything is in order,” Twilight said.

“Sure is,” Breeze replied.

“Hold on...I recognize you aren’t you that guy who performed at that one night club in Canterlot?” Spike asked.

“And I recognize you. Aren’t you the dude who got stupid drunk and completely smashed everything?” Breeze asked.

“Uhhhh..........no that was someone else..” Spike said quickly. Fluttershy then took notice of Spike.

“OH MY FAUST IS THAT A DRAGON?!” Fluttershy cried in awe before getting closer to Spike.

“Oh no here we go,” Breeze sighed.

“Oh my Faust I’ve always wanted to meet a dragon. Tell me everything! What’s it like up in the mountains? How hot is your fire? I NEED TO KNOW!” Spike shot a cocky look at Twilight before getting into an explanation of dragons.

“Not very shy when it comes to dragons huh?” Twilight asked.

“Nope. She’s always comfortable around animals and other creatures,” Breeze explained

“Ok Spike we’ve had enough time to get to know the locals but we need to get to lodging,” Twilight dragging Spike away.

“Aw come on Twilight!” Spike protested. Fluttershy looked at the duo downtrodden.

“I’LL COME BACK AT SOME POINT!” Spike called out.


“That was so rude. She was so nice!” Spike said in a disappointing tone.

“Look Spike you’ll have time to know the locals later. But we must get to our housing,” Twilight said walking towards a large tree house in the center of town.

“God this town is crazy. Only normal one I’ve come across is Applejack. I just want to get some rest,” Twilight said opening the door.

“Wow kinda dark,” Spike said as he switched on the light.


“SURPRISE!” Twilight then felt something hit her chest. Standing before her was a large crowd of ponies including the ones she came across earlier. At the center of it all was the pink one.

“MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE! AND WELCOME TO PONYVILLE! LETS PARTY!” Pinkie screamed out. Spike looked at Twilight with a smirk.


“This town sucks,” Twilight said before she was dragged into the crowd.