Acts of Love

by Krickis


7 – Actions and Reactions

Chapter Seven
Actions and Reactions


“And then we went to Cloudsdale and I walked on clouds!” Morning said excitedly. “They’re really soft!”

“I wish I could go to Cloudsdale…” Spring Blossom said sadly. As an earth pony, Cloudsdale wasn’t somewhere she was likely to go. Of course, as a unicorn, the same could be said about Morning.

“Maybe you’ll get unicorn parents who can take you,” Morning said, then she thought about it. “Although Fluttershy said that not all unicorns can do spells like that.”

“It’s so cool that you’re getting adopted by princesses.” Spring Blossom pushed around the toy train she was playing with. The two fillies were sitting in the playroom talking about Morning’s weekend. “I wanna be adopted by princesses…”

Morning shrugged. “I don’t really think of them as princesses anymore. They’re just… really nice ponies.”

Spring Blossom finally smiled. “I’m glad you found nice parents. I hope I do too someday.”

“You will,” Morning said. “You’re really nice, I’m surprised they didn’t decide to adopt you instead.”

“Yeah, you must’ve really fooled them,” a colt said from behind them. Morning turned to see Patchouli Rest smirking at her. “Wonder what they’ll think when they learn that you’re not really a nice filly.”

“I can be nice!” Morning insisted. “And besides, they don’t expect me to be good all the time. They said so.”

Patchouli rolled his eyes. “Of course they said that, they’re adults, they have to say things like that. But they’re princesses! They can adopt anypony they want! Why would they want to keep a filly like you?”

Morning rose to her hooves and took a step towards Patchouli. Before she could do anything though, she felt a hoof on her shoulder. “Morning, don’t…” Spring Blossom said, then she turned towards Patchouli. “Stop it! You’re just jealous of her!”

Patchouli laughed. “Yeah right. Like I want to be adopted by a bunch of ponies who don’t even care about me.”

“They do care!” Morning insisted.

“Nah, I heard some of the adults talking, and they said the princesses are only doing it for the, uhm, publicity.”

Morning narrowed her eyes. She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to admit that she didn’t know what ‘publicity’ meant.

“Don’t listen to him,” Spring Blossom said. “Let’s go play somewhere else.”

Patchouli just shrugged. “Yeah, well, don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.”

Although Spring Blossom tried to pull Morning away, she held her ground. “Warn me about what?”

“That when they’re tired of you, they’ll just get a new filly. When they adopt a pony, other ponies say ‘wow, those princesses are so good!’ So then they’ll just keep adopting new ponies and the old ponies like you won’t matter anymore. That’s what publicity is.”

Morning bowed her head. Was that true? Would they just get tired of her? It was true that Morning wasn’t always a good filly, and they could adopt any filly they wanted.

Morning lifted her head to look sadly at Spring Blossom. The princesses would probably rather have a good little filly like her. And when they realized how Morning really was, when they saw that she wasn’t a good pony…

“Come on, Morning!” Spring Blossom said. “Patchouli’s lying! Let’s go…”

Morning knew Spring Blossom was right, that she could go, but she wouldn’t budge. She stood there, staring at Patchouli, and she could feel pressure welling up in her horn as her anger grew.

Her horn must also have been glowing because Patchouli laughed. “What are you going to do? Cast a spell on me?”

Morning did something very different. She took a step towards the obnoxious colt, and she hit him in the face with her front hoof.

Spring Blossom yelled something, and Patchouli fell back. Morning stared at him and considered hitting him again, but she knew what was coming. Part of her knew there was no avoiding it, but that part was quieter than the part that told her to run and hide.

Not in her room, they’d find her there. So she ran outside to the playground in the backyard of the orphanage. If she could just get to her hiding place, then no one would find her.

So of course, she couldn’t get there. As soon as she was through the door, she was stopped by Miss Ginger. “Whoa, where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“I’m just…”

Morning couldn’t think fast enough, because before she could get away, Patchouli was right behind her. “She hit me!”

“She what?” Miss Ginger frowned at Morning, but she addressed Patchouli instead. “Are you okay? Let me see.”

While she was busy looking at Patchouli, Morning glanced away. Miss Ginger must have noticed though, because without looking away from Patchouli, she spat, “Don’t you dare go anywhere, Morning Glisten!”

Morning swallowed and stayed where she was standing.

Miss Ginger checked Patchouli to make sure he wasn’t hurt, then sent him back inside. The whole time, Morning beat herself up, her thoughts hitting much harder than her hooves. How could she be so stupid? Of course he was just going to tell Miss Ginger about it…

Once Patchouli was gone, Miss Ginger turned towards Morning. “So,” she said with a harsh tone, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Morning pouted. “He started it…”

“Oh? And how did he start it?”

Morning didn’t want to repeat what Patchouli had said about the princesses. She knew she should, but it felt like admitting that what he’d said bothered her if she did. “I dunno, he just did.

“Well, I’m afraid that’s no reason to hit someone.” Miss Ginger sighed, and Morning just glared at the ground. “What do you think your new moms would say?”

“Are… you going to tell them?”

Miss Ginger sighed again, and she sounded tired when she spoke. “I don’t know, Morning. I think I have to. They’re adopting you, and they need to figure out how to handle situations like this.”

‘How to handle a filly like me, you mean…’ Morning thought, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she just stood there waiting for Miss Ginger to punish her.

“I think you need to go to your room and think about what you did for now. And since you won’t tell me what happened, I’m going to talk to Patchouli and see what he has to say about it.”

“Okay…” There was no telling what Patchouli would have to say, but it wouldn’t be anything that got Morning out of trouble, that was for sure.

It didn’t matter. Morning couldn’t do anything about it anyway, so she shuffled back inside, then made her way to her bedroom.

It wasn’t fair. That was the thought that carried her along as she walked into her bedroom, and she was left alone with it once she closed the door. It just wasn’t fair. Patchouli had started it, he had goaded Morning into hitting him. He’d said all those things about the princesses, and… and…

And maybe he was right. That was the part that hurt. Morning had thought it herself before, of course. Maybe someday they’d realize she wasn’t a very good filly. Sure, they said they wouldn’t, but they were adults… No matter how nice they were, they were adults, and adults always said things and then changed their minds.

Morning flopped onto the bed and turned to face the wall so that her back was towards the door. She glared at the wall as if it had been what had upset her, and she kept glaring until her vision went blurry through her tears.


The good thing about being sent to her room was that it wasn’t really a punishment. Morning liked being in her room, she liked having an excuse to avoid other foals. She did not, particularly, enjoy being forced to be there, but there were worse things.

Worse things like having to talk to Miss Ginger about what had happened. If Morning could have stayed in her room all night, she would have. Forget about dinner, it would be worth skipping it just to avoid seeing Miss Ginger, or worse, Patchouli.

But that was a luxury Morning didn’t have. Shortly before dinner time, there came a knock on her door. “Morning?” a soft mare’s voice called through it. “It’s Miss Ginger. Can we talk?”

“No,” Morning said, although she suspected it wouldn’t be that easy. “Go away.”

There was a pause, then Miss Ginger spoke again. “Well, if you change your mind, come to my office. And then afterwards, we can go get some dinner together.”

Morning just huffed in response, although she wasn’t sure if Miss Ginger could hear her through the door. It didn’t matter, Morning didn’t care about her anyway. She was just going to stay in bed all night.

Just like this. Staying in bed, staring at the wall. She didn’t need anyone, or anything for that matter. She would be fine, she’d just sit right here. All by herself. Just like this.

Morning was growing bored of being angry. And being bored of being angry made her feel other things in its place. Not remorse, she didn’t feel bad for hitting Patchouli in his stupid face, but something.

Something she didn’t want to feel, that was for sure. She turned away from her bed and looked at the door. She could go out, see what Miss Ginger had to say to her…

No. No, Morning was not going to go talk to her. She was not going to talk to anyone, other ponies were dumb and she didn’t need them. She just had to find something else to do.

She looked around the room. There were a few dolls and toys, which she liked to make up stories for, but she wasn’t in the mood to do that. Instead her eyes fell on a book. She picked it up and frowned at it. It had been a gift from Twilight. She’d given Morning a small stack of books that she thought the filly might like, and Morning had loved them all so far.

She flipped open the book and started reading, and she soon found herself caught up in the story. It was a story about a cat who met a witch, but even though she was a good witch, the cat didn’t seem to like her very much. Still, she wasn’t very far in before she got hooked on the story, and she found herself imagining herself in place of the witch.

She read the first chapter, and then started the second. The cat had agreed to help the witch find her sister, and things were starting to get good, but then Morning’s stomach growled. She tried to ignore it, but as soon as she heard the sound, she couldn’t think of anything else.

Morning was hungry. She hadn’t eaten a big lunch, and now it was dinner time. Everyone else was probably already eating…

She glanced at the door again as she thought about what to do. Miss Ginger had said to go meet her before going to dinner, and she knew better than to disobey the caretaker at a time like this. But then that would mean her only option was to go see Miss Ginger, and then she’d have to talk about what happened…

Morning sighed and tried to focus on her book again, but she couldn’t stop thinking about dinner. She wondered what everypony was eating, and that made her stomach growl again.

Frowning, she closed the book and stood up. She kept her head down as she walked to the door, and she opened it slowly. She looked around cautiously, as if Patchouli might be on the other side, just waiting for the perfect chance to ambush her.

There was no sign of anyone, so she left her room and closed the door behind her. She swallowed as she looked down the hallway, unsure of what to expect from the meeting. Although she was hungry, she walked slowly as she made her way to Miss Ginger’s office.

All she was doing was delaying the inevitable, of course. No matter how slowly she walked, she couldn’t put off this meeting for long. Sooner than she would like, she was looking at the open doorway leading into Miss Ginger’s office.

With a deep breath, she stepped inside. “Miss Ginger?”

“Oh, hello, Morning.” Miss Ginger smiled at her. “Come in. I’m glad to see you.”

Morning walked inside and climbed onto the chair across from Miss Ginger. She looked the caretaker in the eyes briefly, then turned away.

When Morning didn’t say anything right away, Miss Ginger spoke up. “So are you ready to talk about what happened?”

Morning frowned. “I dunno…”

“Well, you must be here for some reason.”

Morning considered pointing out that she was just hungry, but she held her tongue. She had to talk about what happened with Patchouli, she knew that, but she didn’t know how to.

Miss Ginger sighed. “I see. Well, I talked to Patchouli and Spring Blossom. I know that Patchouli was saying things about your new parents. Is that why you hit him?”

Morning gritted her teeth in response. “I don’t know.”

Surprisingly, Miss Ginger’s tone was soft when she spoke. “Oh, Morning… I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but you really have to try to control your anger better. It’s okay to get mad at somepony for saying something hurtful, but it’s not okay to hit them. You need to come talk to me or one of the other adults when stuff like that happens.”

It was hard to stay angry when Miss Ginger talked like that, no matter how much Morning wanted to be angry. She took a deep breath and looked up at Miss Ginger. “I just… got really mad at him for talking about the princesses…”

“And why didn’t you use your words instead?”

Truthfully, Morning didn’t know. She got angry, and the next thing she knew, she was hitting Patchouli. But that was stupid, so she just said, “I was just so mad at him.”

Miss Ginger sighed. “Patchouli said some hurtful things, didn’t he?”

Morning shifted in her seat. “I guess.”

“What did he say that got you so angry?”

Didn’t she already know? Sure, Patchouli probably wouldn’t have said anything, but Spring Blossom would have told her. Morning didn’t answer.

“He said that the princesses didn’t really want you, didn’t he?” Miss Ginger asked softly.

Morning hesitated for a moment, then finally said, “Yes.”

Miss Ginger shuffled things around her desk until she found what she was looking for. It was a newspaper, and she showed it to Morning. There was a picture of all three princesses on it, and they were smiling for the camera. “This is an article about you,” Miss Ginger explained. “It’s about how the princesses are going to be your moms, and all about how happy they are about that.”

Although she clearly expected Morning to be happy about that, the filly just felt her heart sink. “And, uhm… ponies are happy about it?”

Miss Ginger grinned. “That’s right! Everypony is happy that the princesses are adopting you, especially the princesses themselves.”

Morning nodded and looked over the newspaper. She couldn’t manage to read any of it, instead just staring at the picture of the princesses. They looked so happy.

“So you see, no matter what anypony says, they really do want you.”

There was an empty feeling in Morning’s chest that prevented her from speaking, so she nodded instead.

“Now, what do you say we go and find Patchouli so you two can apologize to each other, and then you can get some dinner?”

With one last look at the smiling ponies in the picture, Morning got off her chair. She didn’t really feel like apologizing to Patchouli, but she followed Miss Ginger out of the room anyway.

They made their way to the dining room, where foals were sitting around eating dinner, just as Morning had thought. It seemed spaghetti was for dinner, as well as numerous vegetable choices so everyone could eat what they wanted.

Miss Ginger led Morning to where Patchouli Rest was sitting, and it was clear that she would be forced to apologize to him before she was able to eat anything. She kept her head down the whole way, painfully aware that other foals were looking at her.

“Hello, Patchouli,” Miss Ginger said as they approached the colt. “I think you and Morning have something you have to say to each other.”

Neither of them said anything at first. Eventually, Patchouli spoke up, sounding more annoyed than apologetic. “I’m sorry I said all that stuff.”

Miss Ginger put a hoof on Morning’s shoulder. “Morning, do you have something to say to Patchouli?”

Morning looked up at Patchouli. He was glancing towards his plate of spaghetti, and it was clear he didn’t actually care one way or the other about the apology.

Seeing him also brought thoughts of what he’d said to her to mind. That it was all for ‘publicity’, which meant that they were going to just keep adopting new fillies so that ponies talked about them like they did in the newspaper.

Morning tore her eyes away from Patchouli. “No, I don’t.”

“Morning,” Miss Ginger said testily. “You need to apologize for hitting Patchouli earlier.”

Morning turned back to the colt, but she didn’t apologize. Instead, she smacked his plate of spaghetti onto him. He yelled and jumped up out of his seat, sauce dripping off of him and onto the floor.

“Morning!” Miss Ginger yelled as other caretakers came running over. “What’s gotten into you!?”

Morning just tore her eyes off the colt and stared at the ground.

Miss Ginger sighed and turned to another caretaker. “Can you help Patchuli get cleaned up while I take Morning to her room?”

“Of course.”

“Come on, Morning.” Miss Ginger guided Morning out of the room with her hoof. Morning walked away on her own, biting back tears.

As they walked to her room, Miss Ginger tried to get her to talk. “What were you thinking?” she asked, which Morning didn’t reply to. “Why would you do something like that? Especially after Patchouli apologized! Honestly, what do you think the princesses are going to say about this, huh?”

At that, Morning did start crying a little. She held it back as best she could, but a few tears slipped out. Miss Ginger noticed and stopped asking questions, and they walked the rest of the way in silence.

Miss Ginger only spoke again when they reached her room. “I think you need some time to cool off. Just… stay in your room for now, and I’ll come talk to you later.”

Morning didn’t answer, and Miss Ginger left.

Once she was alone, Morning sat on the floor and cried. It wasn’t fair. This was all Patchouli’s fault, if he hadn’t said all that stuff… If it hadn’t been true…

That was really what the problem was. It wasn’t Patchouli’s fault, not really. It was because he had been right.

She should just call the whole thing off. She could still do that, after all. If she said she didn’t want to be adopted by them, then they would just have to tell everyone that they were bad ponies who couldn’t convince a filly to live with them, and that would show them!

Only…

Only they weren’t bad ponies. They were nice, and they made Morning happy. Happier than she ever was at Small Steps, anyway. They were the first adults since Cinnamon Twirl to make Morning feel like she could trust them, and she did trust them. Even if they were adults, they were good adults.

They did fun things with her, and they talked nicely, and they read her stories before bed, and… and…

Morning was crying in earnest now, unable to hold it back. She sobbed loudly as she sat on the floor. She didn’t want them to pick another filly, she wanted them to pick her! She wasn’t really a good filly, she knew that, but… but she wanted to be…

There were toys around her, which she hit and sent flying around the room. She wasn’t really sure why she did it, she didn’t really want to. She was just so angry, and she wanted something else to be the problem, so she pretended her toys were the problem and she hit them.

And when she was done with that, she saw the books that Twilight had given her. She picked one up, and she thought of Twilight deciding she wasn’t good enough.

“Sorry, Morning, but you’re just a naughty filly who hurts other foals. We’re going to adopt somepony else instead, and you can just think about what you did!”

Morning pushed the book onto the floor, where it fell open facedown. Then she did the same thing to another book, and another. When there was a small pile of books, she kicked it away.

And then she got to the last book, and she stopped. This book was special. It wasn’t just a gift from Twilight, it was a gift from all three of them, and it was magic. When she wrote in it, the princesses could read what she said and they would write back to her.

She opened it up, seeing her own messy scribbles and drawings she made for them beside their much neater writing.

She pulled the book carefully, almost reverently to the bed, where she set it down. Then she got herself a pencil, and went back to the bed to sit on it with the book. She flipped to a blank page, and she wrote.

‘Hi prinses its Morning. I have a queston.’

She waited a few moments for a response, and when none came, she thought about throwing this book across the room too. Instead, she bowed her head on it and cried, almost as if it was one of them and they could stroke her mane and tell her it was okay.

She felt a vibrating from the book, and she picked her head up. There were letters appearing.

‘Hello, Morning, it’s Twilight! We were just talking about you during dinner. What’s your question?’

Morning frowned. She wanted to ask if they would still take care of her even though she was a bad filly. She wanted to ask if they would keep her, and never send her back. She wanted to ask Twilight to make her feel better, to put her fears to rest, to tell her the things she needed to hear.

Instead, she copied the way Twilight spelled her name to write, ‘Hi Twilight am I going to Ponyvill this weekend?’

A moment later, Twilight wrote back, ‘Yup! We can’t wait to have you here! We’ve been making plans and I think we’re going to have a lot of fun this weekend!’

Morning took a shaky breath and wondered what Twilight would say if she knew Morning was crying. She made sure none of her tears landed on the book so that Twilight wouldn’t find out. ‘Thats good I cant wait.’

It was better to say things like that. Morning was not a good filly, but she knew how good fillies acted. They didn’t hit ponies, they didn’t throw temper tantrums in their rooms, and they didn’t cry when everything was their own fault.

Patchouli was probably right, but the princesses were good ponies. They were nice to her, and Morning didn’t want them to get tired of her. And if that meant she had to pretend to be a good filly, then she would pretend to be a good filly.

After all, she always did like playing pretend.