Walking through town makes me aware of something very clear. Ponies don’t like the sight of blood. And I imagine them seeing my clothes coated in it, despite it all being mine, makes them all very fearful of me. It’s strange honestly, I’m the one limping; but I know why they’d assume otherwise. Unknown creature who everyone knows wants to and is willing to kill their beloved leader. As unfair to me as that is, it’s probably the reason.
Reasoning aside, it does wonders to bring down my mood, and make me feel even more alone and ostracized, despite walking with a group of ‘friends’.
Rarity’s voice grabs my attention when she stops and about faces at the door to her home. “Now Null, as amusing as it would be to see you in a dress, I must admit that I was joking; I just wanted to make you squirm a bit for trying to destroy my dresses, even if it wasn’t actually you. It was unfair of me, and I’d like to apologize. As such, even though you came up with the bet, I’m giving you the opportunity to back out if you want to.” she says with a determined and apologetic look on her face.
I look at her with a somewhat skeptical look, expecting her to start laughing and say ‘gotcha’ or something. But when nothing comes along, I raise an eyebrow, and simply motion her inside. “If you’re offering. No take backs, and you aren’t gettin’ another chance at this.”
Rainbow Dash groans and throws her hooves in the air. “Why even bother making the bet if you’re just gonna back out of it?!”
I look at her, annoyed. “Because I wanted my clothes fixed, and I figured if she was serious, I could at least make it a little bit interesting and have a little fun with it. Worst case scenario, I get laughed at and have to wear a dress for a few days; and believe me when I say that a few days is an extremely short amount of time. Goes by in a snap.” I say while snapping my fingers for emphasis. “Best case scenario, I get to burn one of Rarity’s dresses. The outcome could not have been any more inconsequential to me in the long run, despite how annoying it would be; like you’re being right now. Plus, it gives me faith in her to see that she isn’t a manipulative little B-...” I cut myself off before I finish the word. “...Thing, like she was portraying herself to be.”
Rarity smiles at the last part of my little explanation, thankfully not catching my little slip up. Rainbow Dash simply lets out a drawn out “Laaaame” and flies off grumbling to herself. I shake my head, and follow Rarity inside. “Do forgive Rainbow Dash for her attitude, she doesn’t actually mean anything by it.” she says as she walks up to me, and grabs a part of my shirt in her hooves, feeling it.
“Uh…” I say, a bit confused. She ignores me, and then moves to my pants, running her hoof along my shin. “Alright, what are you doing?” I ask.
“Seeing what your clothes are made of so I know what materials to use.” she answers without looking at me. I roll my eye and silently let her continue. Without looking, she brings over a couple rolls of white and black fabric, and holds them up to my shirt, assumedly trying to match the shades. She settles on the two colors, and brings down a simple white sheet from upstairs, and drags a changing curtain in front of me. “Alright, strip.” she says draping the sheet over the curtain. I do so, and hang them over the curtain. I wrap my naked self in the sheet, and come back around from the curtain and see that Rarity is gone, along with my clothes.
I look at Starlight and raise an eyebrow. She points to a door, from which I hear water running followed by the whirring of a machine. Rarity comes back through said door, and motions us over to a lounging area. “It’ll take a few moments for your clothes to be cleaned, so in the meantime, why don’t we chat?”
I hobble over and slowly sit down on one of the chairs, close my eye, and focus on my breathing for a moment.
“Are you alright dear?” I hear Rarity question from her seat.
I take a deep breath and exhale. “I’d be lying if I said the walk over wasn’t tiring. I’m just glad you all figured out AC at some point. That aside though, what is there even to talk about?”
“Plenty of things if you’re willing to. I’m sure there must have been plenty of things you’ve seen in your… lifetime, let’s call it?” she says.
I scoff and open my right eye. “Yeah, only a thousand years worth of your nation's history, another thousand years outdated on top of that. There isn’t much I remember from all that. Mostly historic events, fights, some moments with Luna, and some other useless moments that stick in my memory for no apparent reason.”
“Well there's a topic right there!” she exclaims. At my raised eyebrow, she continues. “Princess Luna. What do you think of her?”
“What are you getting at?” I ask with a small amount of annoyance if she’s implying what I think she might be.
“Oh come now, she was able to call you off when you first showed up, and from what I can tell, is the only reason you haven’t gone off the deep end, so to speak. Such a strong relationship must have something to be said about it.” she presses.
“I have to admit, I’m a little curious about that too. How can a friendship be developed when you were… you know.” Starlight chimes in.
I exhale and lean back, looking at the ceiling. “Not much to tell really. I wanted her dead along with her sister. She nearly killed me, decided not to, then started to use me as a diary. I still wanted her dead, but then she started making efforts to free me. I guess somewhere along the way I started caring. This all happened over the course of a couple hundred years.”
After a moment, Rarity clears her throat. “While insightful, that doesn’t really answer the original question. What do you think of Princess Luna herself?”
I take a moment to think of a way to word what I want to say. “I care about her.” I say simply. “She was my only friend for the longest time; She’s like a sister to me, if that's what you mean.” I expand while staring at the ceiling.
I groan as a particularly tense muscle decides to spasm and cause me a ton of pain, clutching at the spot in question with a wince. I wave off their concerned looks and the pain soon subsides.
Starlight clears her throat, dragging my attention to her. “Null, I’ve sorta been meaning to ask you something.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. Taking this as my go ahead for her question, which it was, she continues. “It was something one of your clones said, specifically the one that represented your disgust. He seemed to imply that you were disgusted in yourself. Do you know why he might have said that?” she asks.
This was news to me. I don’t have any recollection of what any of my emotions got up to while I was under the effects of Poison Joke. “Are you saying I have self loathing issues?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying; your emotions can’t lie Null, and it’s not healthy to have those kinds of thoughts.” she presses.
“Then what do you suggest Missy? What should I do about them, hm? Because if you’ve got a panacea for all my mental issues, then please let me know. Otherwise, I’d rather not be reminded of my own mental instability, thank you very much.” I snap.
She flinches back at my harsh tone, but gains a challenging look. “I don’t have a cure for your problems, but the first step in fixing them is recognizing that you have them.” she says. Her features soften a bit. “I can’t just make everything better for you, but I can hear you out at least.” she states with a small smile.
I let out a small sound of amusement. “Using my own words against me, huh?”
She nods and Rarity decides to speak up. “I’m sure she’s not the only one who’d be willing to lend an ear, you know. I wouldn’t mind, and I’m sure the other girls wouldn’t mind either.”
I give a small smile, and look back at the ceiling. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” I say simply.
Before either of them can continue, the sound of buzzing comes from the other room. Rarity excuses herself and goes to said room, leaving me with Starlight.
I look at her once more, and a question pops into my head. “Why do you care?” I ask her bluntly.
She raises an eyebrow, confused at my question. “Pardon?”
“Why do you care about me? How much do you care about me for that matter. Luna said that others cared about me, and listed you as one of them. You followed me into the Everfree, a place which I’m told most wouldn’t follow even their best friends into. I’m not what you were hoping I was, I tore apart your belief. So, why do you care? Why put up with me?” I explain.
She takes a moment to process my little tirade. “That's… not an easy question to answer. I have my reasons, but… I don’t exactly wanna talk about them right now.” she says, motioning to the other room where Rarity is.
It takes a moment to figure out what she’s hinting at, but it clicks after a quick second. “Ah… later then?”
She simply nods after a moment of contemplation.