//------------------------------// // A Party, a Pony, and a Prank // Story: A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake // by The Dimension Traveler //------------------------------// A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake Chapter 23: A Party, a Pony, and a Prank The day was finally upon them. Rainbow Dash’s Birthaversary! Pinkie couldn’t contain herself. She burst into a Heartsong as she got the last of the supplies needed and started the final setup of the party. Vinyl and Octavia were standing by with their instruments of choice, Bonnie and Lyra had delivered the goods and were currently totally not making out behind Sugar Cube Corner, and the Flower Triplets were positively serene. If the Changelings thought Ponyville was full of love before, it had nothing on the sheer outpouring of neighborly love and support that united the whole of Ponyville for Rainbow. Pinkie just loved it when a party plan came together. “Rainbow Dash, I hereby swear to you that this will be the best Birthaversary in the history of all of Equuis! So mote it be, as your pink party planner!” Pinkie swore. “Somehow hearing Pinkie invoke ritual phrases isn’t making me tremble in barely realized existential fear. I must be getting far too used to Ponyville,” Tom snarked. “There are worse fates,” Twilight couldn’t keep a smile off her own face. “I really appreciate what you’re doing Pinkie,” Rainbow said earnestly. “There’s no party like a Pinkie party!” Pinkie and Rainbow cheered together. “And they will never forget…never,” Pinkie started cackling like a super villain. It spoke volumes that no one felt the need to comment on it, “So, who wants to help me put the finishing touches out before the party?” “I will,” An unknown voice called out. All heads snapped towards the speaker. He was dressed like a desperado from an old Wild West flick and had a party horn in his mouth. “Who are you, stranger?” Pinkie asked. “Name’s Cheese Sandwich,” Cheese replied and Tom’s ears flickered at the familiar sounding voice. Was that..? Did Cheese sound exactly like “Weird Al” Yankovic? Just when he thought he was getting used to Equestria’s bizarreness, “I plan parties.” “What an amazing coincidence! I’m Pinkie Pie and I plan parties too! In fact, I’m planning a party right now!” Pinkie chirped. “Oh, it’s no coincidence, my little pony,” Cheese assured, “My Cheesy Sense was a tingling.” Twilight suddenly developed an eye twitch. “Not another one,” She groaned quietly. “Deep breaths, Twilight. No need to freak out again,” Fluttershy comforted her friend. Twilight wanted to make a snide remark about how Tom was in control of her lungs and thus she couldn’t take a deep breath, but thought better of it. Fluttershy didn't deserve that. Twilight had survived Pinkie thus far. A visitor of a similar inclination wasn’t going to hurt anything. After all, Pinkie and Discord were able to coexist without all of spacetime collapsing around their ears. “Hey, you have a Cheesy Sense? What a serendipitous happenstance, I have a Pinkie Sense!” Pinkie cheered. “Yes. I sensed you did,” Cheese said mysteriously. The eye twitch intensified. “Well, he certainly has the mysterious stranger bit down pat,” Rarity remarked. “I am the premier party pony in all of Equestria,” Cheese claimed, “If there’s a party in need, there I’ll be! Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I’m your pony.” “A pair of possibly perfect pony party planners in Ponyville? What could be better?!” Pinkie squealed. “I dunno, the party is today…would you even have time to help out?” Rainbow asked. “Time is no constraint for one such as I. Say the word and I’ll make this party perfect,” Cheese promised. “Alright, Cheese, you talk a good game. Let’s see if you can put your money where your mouth is!” Rainbow challenged. “I’ve never worked with another party pony! This’ll be great!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Oh, it won’t be great…It’ll be fandabulrific!” Cheese threw off his desperado outfit and broke into a song about how he had come to be a party planner. It wasn’t a Heartsong, but somehow everyone got caught up in Cheese’s excitement anyway. The only one who suddenly seemed less excited was Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie’s parties are fun and sweet and everything, but with you here Cheese, this party is gonna be-” “Epic?” Cheese suggested. “Yeah! No offense, Pinks,” Rainbow said quickly. “Oh, none taken,” Pinkie said as she quickly hid her tears. Once everyone had moved along, Pinkie sadly walked away. About half an hour later the party prep was well underway, but a certain pink mare had been missing. Everyone was concerned for her, so Tom and Twilight were elected to go find her. It wasn’t like Pinkie to miss out on a party. It didn’t take much searching for the pair to find Pinkie pretending to be watering flowers outside of Sugar Cube Corner. “Pinkie, aren’t you going to help with the party?” Twilight asked. “That’s OK! Cheese obviously has what it takes to do it all by himself! After all, he’s doing everything in just a few short hours! I couldn’t do something like that!” Pinkie said with clearly forced cheer. “Pinkie, you do realize he’s just building on your groundwork, yeah? Most of everything was already in place. He’s just adding some personal touches,” Tom pointed out. “It’s fine! Everything is fine! You don’t need a boring mare like me holding Cheese down!” Tom and Twilight shared a look. “Pinkie, we can both tell everything is not fine,” Twilight started. “I’d like to think between me and Twilight, mostly Twilight, that we know you well enough to be able to tell when something is wrong. Come on Pinks, spill,” Tom almost begged. “Rainbow has made her choice clear. I just want her to have the best Birthaversary ever. If she thinks she can find that with Cheese, then that’s fine,” Pinkie said, despite her watering eyes. If things were less serious, Tom would’ve probably made a crack about Pinkie sounding like she was losing Dash as a lover. But things were serious so he restrained himself. “Pinkie, you do know that if you asked, Rainbow would drop Cheese in a heartbeat,” Twilight said softly. “I don’t want to abuse our friendship like that. I just…oh, look at the time! I have a dentist appointment at the doctor’s office! See you two later!” Pinkie zipped off. With her escape from Tom and Twilight made good, Pinkie stopped to consider. What would she do if she didn’t have parties anymore? Cheese clearly had a monopoly on the things, so she would have to find something else to do with herself. Pinkie spent a couple of hours wandering around town, trying her hoof at different things. None of them felt right. Defeated, she returned home. There she saw the pictures on the wall. All of her past parties, starting from the very first with her family when she was just a filly. Suddenly a fire lit in her belly. She was Pinkamena Diane Pie! Parties were her life and Soul! Making people happy was her creed and her joy! She wouldn’t give it up without a heck of a fight! She donned her battle gear and walked out the door, intent on confronting Cheese Sandwich. “Freeze Cheese!” Pinkie shouted upon spotting her rival party planner, “I challenge you TO A GOOF OFF!” Everyone gasped in the appropriate manner, even if none of them were quite sure what a Goof Off was. “I’ve been the best in the business for a long time, Pinkie. Are you sure you want to challenge me to a Goof Off?” Cheese challenged. “Your days of tyranny are over, Cheese Sandwich! I will be crowned the new Queen of Parties!” Pinkie exclaimed. “We’ll just see about that. The stakes?” Cheese asked. “The winner will be dubbed the Super Duper Ultimate Equestria Level Party Planner and headline the Rainbow Dash Birthaversary!” Pinkie shouted. “And the loser?” Twilight asked. “Doesn’t,” Pinkie growled. Everyone gasped again, “So, are you in Cheese? Or are you…boneless?” “Nobody calls me boneless! Right, Boneless?” Cheese asked of his rubber chicken companion. “Then the Goof Off is on for High Noon!” Pinkie declared. “Pinkie, Noon was three hours ago,” Applejack pointed out. “Oh, well make it 3:10 then!” And so the stage was set. Ten minutes later, everyone was gathered in Town Square to watch the Goof Off. “Why is Pinkie even challenging Cheese to a Goof Off in the first place?” Rainbow quietly asked Tom and Twilight after Tom had read out the rules. Both looked at her. “I guess she seems to think you’ve abandoned her in favor of Cheese,” Tom shrugged. “What? Why would she…oh…oh no. I’ve gotta-” But it was too late. The Goof Off had begun and suddenly Reality was breaking in ways that made Discord seem sensible. Giant wheels of cheese were rolling every which way, Pinkie was blowing square bubbles, and somehow Boneless was dancing about without anyone or anything touching it. Then Cheese crossed a line and started singing one of Pinkie’s Heartsongs. Pinkie took great offense to that. Suddenly Rainbow was getting blasted about by progressively bigger party cannons that were being aimed at the opposing Goofs. Somehow or another Rainbow wound up dunked in the biggest fish tank she had ever seen. She still had to clear things up with Pinkie! “STOP!” Pinkie suddenly bellowed, “The Goof Off is off!” Privately Rainbow was relieved. She didn’t know how much more she could take. “But I haven’t declared a winner,” Rainbow Dash said out loud. “You don’t have to. I forfeit. Cheese Sandwich wins,” Pinkie said sadly. “Wait!” Rainbow shouted, “Pinkie, this whole thing is my fault! I didn’t…what I mean to say is…ARGH; you know I put my hoof in my mouth sometimes! What I meant before when I was talking about your parties was that I thought having Cheese help you would add an extra zing. I didn’t mean I wanted to replace you with Cheese or something silly like that! You throw the best parties, everyone in Ponyville knows that! You’re the Element of Laughter! I’d have to be crazier than Discord to want to replace you!” “You…you mean it?” Pinkie asked hesitantly. “Yes I mean it, you silly filly!” Rainbow exclaimed before pulling one of her best friends in for a hug. “Rainbow Dash is right,” Cheese spoke up, “I never meant to make you feel inferior or unwanted. I was just so excited to work with the Pinkie Pie I kinda let myself get carried away. For that, I am truly sorry. Truthfully, you’re the one who inspired me to become a party planner all those years ago when I saw you throwing a party right here in Ponyville.” “See, Pinkie? Everyone loves you! Now, what do you two say to working together like we should’ve been this whole time?” Rainbow asked with a smile. “That sounds-” “Absolutely perfect,” Pinkie and Cheese said together. Two hours later and the Party of the Century was finally underway. It was everything anyone could ever hope for and so much more. There was singing, dancing, games, a rollercoaster, a giant punch bowl to swim in. just about anything you could imagine. Cheese, in keeping with his ‘mysterious stranger’ motif, had gifted Pinkie with Boneless before walking off into the sunset after Rainbow had thanked him for his part in making it the best Birthaversary ever. Everyone was sad to see him go, but his calling was as a traveling party pony. He would just be unhappy if he were forced to stay in one place. That didn’t mean the party was over when Cheese left, oh no. People were still having fun as day turned into twilight and into early evening. Then Tom got up on stage. “Attention everyone! I know present time was thirty minutes ago, but there is one last thing I have to give Rainbow. It is something that doesn’t come in a box or bag. It cannot be bought or sold, but that doesn’t diminish its value. It honestly has been long overdue in the giving. I can think of no better way to give this gift than through song. Hit it Vinyl!” Tom and Vinyl both lit up their horns and an unfamiliar melody started playing. Then Tom opened his mouth and started to sing. Rainbow was sure this couldn’t be happening. She had to have fallen asleep in the punch bowl or something. She had to be feverish! There was no way Tom…or maybe Twilight had put him up to this? That might be worse. There was no way they were singing a love song to her! Then the ukulele cut off and Tom flew up to where Rainbow was flapping slack jawed. He looked her straight in the eyes. “We love you, Dashie~” Tom's voice was subdued yet flirty and he was blushing prettily. The look in his eyes was hesitant and hopeful at the same time. Rainbow’s flight response kicked in and she was suddenly gone. She didn’t hear Vinyl or Tom start to crack up. She didn’t see them wiping tears of laughter from their eyes. “Dude, how did you do that with a straight face?! I had to duck under my turntables half way!” Vinyl said through her laughter. “Vinyl…” Octavia growled at her marefriend. “Don’t be too hard on her, I put her up to it,” Tom tried to defend his partner in crime, but the huge smirk on his face sort of defeated his attempts. “And what exactly brought this about, hm?” Rarity asked. “Rainbow decided it would be a good idea to tease certain people about their lack of love life for days on end. As if she’s one to talk, the filthy hypocrite. Anyway, we decided that Rainbow deserved a little bit of…revenge.” Tom couldn’t stop himself. He broke off into a full blown Mad Scientist Laugh. “And Twilight went along with it?” Applejack asked in a hushed tone. Tom snorted. “Twilight’s the one who suggested we get back at Dash by flirting with her. I just graduated it to a full blown prank with Vinyl’s help using a song I remembered from back home,” Tom replied happily. “Well, I can’t exactly say I condone such behavior, but if Rainbow was really making such a pest of herself, then I think I can let this one slide,” Rarity finally decided. "Do you usually remember sappy love songs?" Moon Dancer teased. "You'd be surprised by the sheer volume and variety of songs and music I have cataloged in my brain. Listening to a playlist of music while reading Shakespeare and other plays was one of my favorite pastimes as a teenager," Tom said lightly. One of the many things he missed about Earth was Pandora. “That was a top tier prank, you two! Vinyl was right when she said I'd appreciate it more in the dark! But you do realize you might’ve just started a prank war with Dashie, right?” Pinkie asked. “I trust Dash to have enough of a self-preservation instinct to not get into a prank war with an Alicorn and a sufficiently motivated Human. If, however, she doesn’t have such an instinct, well, Twilight and I have…contingencies,” More of the Mad Scientist Laugh. It was a good day to be alive!