Story Shuffle 2: Double Masters

by FanOfMostEverything


Developmestuction

Sunset Shimmer walked through the San Tornado police station, and the police reacted like Justice herself had entered the building. In other words, a lot of respect, a lot of deference, and a few guilty consciences. All to be expected from the unexpected appearance of the famous, world-reshaping Spirit of Harmony.

She put it out of mind; she had other things to worry about. “Thanks for letting me do this,” she said to Chief Citation.

The burly, blue earth aspect wrinkled his nose, making his walrus mustache quiver. “All due respect, Miss Shimmer, thank you for not just pulling your friend out of the station.”

Sunset shrugged. “Hey, part of not being a god means operating within the law. And if I can help a friend in the process, so much the better.”

“This does seem to be a case of wrong place, wrong time, but given what happened…" Citation shook his head. "Well, we can’t justify letting her off with a warning without getting her side. We're just a peaceful little beach town; we don't deal with this kind of thing like you do over in Canterlot.”

Give it time, Sunset thought. Out loud, she said, “I’ll do what I can.”

"All I can ask of anyone." Citation opened the door to the interrogation room.

It was everything procedural dramas had taught Sunset to expect: Two folding chairs, a table, a big pane of one-way glass, and barely enough room to hold them all.

And, of course, the perpetrator, who glared at both of the intruders. She still wore the bikini and sarong she'd had on the beach. An ugly assembly of black metal wrapped around her head like a pig iron bandana, completely enclosing her unicorn aspect headgem, but it did nothing to dampen the fury in her eyes. “Trixie won’t say anything without a lawyer.”

Citation sighed as he shut the door behind Sunset. "Good luck."

Sunset sat opposite Trixie and offered the most sympathetic look she could. “Right now, I effectively am your lawyer.”

All it got her was a raised eyebrow. “You may be a lot of things, Shimmer, but Trixie knows you haven’t passed the bar.”

“Actually, there’s an old Equestrian bylaw that says that all alicorns may act as barristers in times of need.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “In case you hadn’t noticed, this isn’t Magic Horse World.”

“No, it isn’t." Sunset narrowed her eyes. "But I think we’d both like this to end in a way that doesn’t involve you in juvenile hall.”

Trixie looked away and crossed her arms.

Sunset sighed. “Look, the cops are willing to let you go if you just explain what happened. Magical accidents are happening all over the world as people figure it out. I’ve made my share as much as anyone.”

After a few moments, Trixie glanced at Sunset and said, “Will it get this stupid thing off my head?" She brought a hand to the restraint. "I’m getting a sinus headache from all the magic that can’t get out.”

“Of course. Just tell me what happened.”

Trixie gritted her teeth before groaning and splaying out in her seat like an angry starfish. “Fine. It started at that food truck festival last week…”


Fuchsia Blush took a long, skeptical look at what Lavender Lace had insisted she try. Finally, she took a bite, chewed thoughtfully, and pronounced her verdict: “So… it’s corn. With mayo.”

Lavender nodded, using her telekinesis to keep her own ear of street corn from dripping onto the Canterlot Mall parking lot or her long, blonde hair. “And sour cream, lime juice, chili powder…”

“Right, right, but still: Grilled corn with mayo." Fuchsia took another bite. Then another. Eventually, she came up for air long enough to say, "Why is it so good?”

“Sour cream, lime juice, chili powder…”

“Okay, you made your point." Something registered through Fuchsia's thoughts of getting another ear. "Trixie?" The third member of their little group had sat on the pavement leading into the mall minutes ago and hadn't moved since, a hand on her chin. "You haven’t mentioned peanut butter crackers once. You okay?”

“Yeah, fine…”

Fuchsia took a deep breath. There were many kinds of Trixie whine, and she had experience with most if not all of them. This one was the “woe is Trixie” tone Trixie broke out when she wanted someone else to pull the sob story out of her bit by bit. “All right, what is it?”

“It’s just…" Trixie waved her fingers. A riot of colorful sparks erupted from them, with barely a flash from her headgem. "The illusory fireworks are great and all, but Trixie worked hard to learn how to make smoke bombs, and now that she’s gotten the hang of this spell, it feels like she wasted her time.”

Fuchsia sighed as she sat next to Trixie. “Do you intentionally avoid Sunset Shimmer’s vlog, or is it just an incidental thing?”

Trixie looked over at her, wrinkling her brow. “What do you mean?”

“She just did a special on alchemy,” said Lavender, who sat on Trixie's other side.

She looked from one to the other before crossing her arms and scowling. “If this is an elaborate way of telling Trixie to go drink bleach, it isn’t helping.”

“No, Equestrian alchemy," said Lavender. "The real thing!"

"Not the 'make infinite gold and live forever' real thing," added Fuchsia, "more like an 'applied chemistry with extra magic' real thing.”

It was enough to make Trixie sit up and smile. “That still means Trixie could make smoke bombs just as stupendous as her spells!”

Fuchsia nodded. “Exactly. Just, you know, be careful.”

Trixie snorted. “Trixie has inhaled enough smoke to know when to work with a fume hood.”

“Also actually watch the video and don’t just fire magic at a smoke bomb and assume you’ve enchanted it.”

“You wound Trixie.”


Sunset smirked. “You just fired magic at a smoke bomb, didn’t you?”

“Trixie is under no obligation to answer that question.”


After the first attempt to enchant a smoke bomb went suboptimally, Trixie actually watched Sunset’s latest EweTube video. Apparently alchemy required magically active or reactive ingredients to work. Some didn’t even exist on Earth.

“Now you may be wondering," Sunset said in the video, “‘Sunset, why don’t we just crank out a cure for the common cold, or cancer, or Paddockson’s Disease?”

“For one,” Twilight Sparkle said from next to her, “rhinoviruses mutate so much, so quickly that we’d have to concoct new cures every year, much like altering the vaccine cocktails. For another, ‘cancer’ isn’t a disease; it’s a category of disease. ‘Curing cancer’ makes about as much sense as ‘curing bacteria.’ Though research is ongoing for specific cancers, Paddockson’s, and other persistent menaces to humanity.”

“But don’t expect them tomorrow," said Sunset. "The usual disclaimer applies, folks: Human magic changes everything." As she said the words, they appeared on the bottom of the screen, possibly a running gag for the series. "Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. And mass production is a whole other issue; even Equestria favors more mundane chemistry on larger scales, because the alchemist needs to infuse a part of their magic into their creations. Each. And every. One. It might be possible to scale up alchemy with thaumic capacitors, but we're figuring that one out on both sides of the portal.

"Getting back to what human magic changes, I tried some basic alchemical formulas before making this episode of Magical Mayhem, and the end results ranged from ‘You need to add more oregano’ to ‘This is physically impossible to create.’ I’ve included some adjusted introductory extracts to help you get started, but please leave the experimentation to the professionals." Sunset shuddered. "This stuff can poison you in ways you haven’t even heard of.”


Sunset did not facepalm. She did not slam her head into the table. Both of these statements were only true because her nature made her preternaturally calm. “And so you started experimenting.”

Trixie tossed her hair. The restraint lessened the effect. “Trixie has plenty of experience under her belt. Besides, you were clearly referring to ingested alchemy. It’s not like Trixie was going to eat her smoke bombs.”

Preternatural calm didn't remove Sunset's need to massage her temples. Technically, she was a magical projection of a much greater being and thus couldn't get headaches. But she could and very often did get the idea of headaches. “Putting that aside for now, what reagents did you even use?”

Trixie puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips. “Trixie needed but one ingredient, and that was Trixie herself!”

She held the pose for a good five seconds as Sunset processed that. “Um, no, no you didn’t. I explained that in the video. In alchemy, your magic needs something to react with in order to produce something useful. That external focus is why any magical being can do it."

"Ah," said Trixie, "but you also said the alchemist has to put a bit of themselves into all of their creations."

Sunset gave a slow nod. "Yeees, a bit of their magic. Otherwise, it's chemistry, not alchemy."

"Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie found a way to infuse her essence into her creations through multiple means!"

Horrible possibilities flashed through Sunset's mind. "You didn't add your blood to the smoke bombs, did you?"

Trixie flinched back. "What? No!"

"Good, because hemomancy is a very dangerous road to travel."

"Trixie used her morning sparkles."

The clarity had been nice while it lasted. "Your what?" said Sunset.

"You know, when you wake up and you have this weird blue glitter around your mouth?" Trixie met Sunset's confused look with one of her own. "It's happened to Trixie ever since you warped reality."

A creeping suspicion came to mind. "Hold on." Sunset turned away from Trixie, put a little spit on the back of her hand, then heated the skin until it evaporated. It left behind a powdery, crystalline residue like dried honey. "Well. That's new." She looked back at Trixie. "Do you drool in your sleep?"

Trixie scoffed and turned away. "Trixie fails to see what these aspersions on her character have to do with getting her out of this police station."

"Never mind. Okay, so you used your 'morning sparkles' as an alchemical reagent. Then what?"

"Then, obviously, the smoke bomb went off without a hitch, everything was perfect, and Trixie was wrongfully arrested by a bunch of uniformed Neighanderthals."

Sunset crossed her arms. "I was at the beach, Trixie. I saw what happened. Did you ever actually test the things?"

"Of course Trixie tested them!"

Sunset just gave her a flat look and waited.

"She did!" said Trixie. "She went through dozens of tests! Sometimes the explosion was way too big, or too loud, or too smoky. Sometimes it was a dud."

It was powered by essence of Trixie. Are you really surprised? Kindness held Sunset's tongue.

"And, well, Trixie averaged out all the different mixes and..." Trixie shrugged. "That one seemed fine."

"How did it perform when you tested it?" said Sunset.

An uncomfortable silence stretched out for the better part of a minute. Finally, Trixie sighed and said, "Okay, Trixie..." She winced. "I'm going to level with you here. I didn't test the last batch. It hurts to see myself fail again and again and again and not know what I'm doing wrong. So I just hoped this one would be good enough. And then..."


Trixie strode towards the beach, putting on the best show of confidence she could. While it was best that the performer truly believe her own hype—she was sure that was what her father had told her—faking it until making it worked too. And once the new smoke bomb worked perfectly, which it would, she'd have made it on a whole other level.

She pulled it out of her purse, considered the red stripe of nail polish she'd used to mark it as the special one, and hurled it at her feet.

A tremendous burst of smoke, larger than any of her tests, erupted from the impact site. Crackling, sparkling, coruscating between blue and red, it spread out in all directions heedless of the wind. Screams and shouts echoed from within, followed by the thump of many feet smacking sand.

When the cloud cleared, Trixie was alone in a sea of overturned beach umbrellas and abandoned coolers. She knew it couldn't possibly get any worse than this.

"STPD! Stand down!"

Then it got worse.


"Did anyone get hurt?" said Trixie, staring at the table. "No one's told me anything."

You've refused to talk to anyone. "No harm done," Sunset said aloud. "People panicked, yes, but the effects wore off pretty quickly. After that they were afraid because they'd been afraid without knowing why. It took a while to calm them down—"

Trixie's head fell until the restraint hit the table with a dull thunk. "Long enough for Trixie to get arrested."

"But everyone who was affected is fine."

"Okay. Good." Trixie took a deep breath and let it out in a long groan. "Trixie just wishes she knew what went wrong."

Sunset hummed in thought. "Well, there's a hypothesis in unicorn academic circles in Equestria. We know certain emotions are needed to harness dark magic, but it's possible that any emotion someone feels can alter their spells. You may have infused your own nervousness into that last batch, especially when using a bit of yourself as a reagent." She attempted a smile. "So, you know, congrats on confirming the resonance hypothesis?"

Trixie glared at Sunset as she straightened up. "If Trixie were doing this for the science, she'd do her hair up in a ponytail and try to seduce you away from Sparkle."

"I thought you liked guys."

"Trixie's flexible when it comes to gods."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I'm not even going to humor that."

"So, what now?" said Trixie. She leaned back in her chair, but the tension in her face and focused stare still spoke of her nerves.

Sunset stood. "Now we get you out of here and I learn to be more careful when suggesting hobbies for my viewers."

Trixie smirked. "So you admit this is your fault."

"Trixie, even my patience has limits."

"Fine, fine. Thank you." Trixie rose and stretched towards the ceiling. "Let's blow this epsicle stand."

"Phrasing."

"Trixie's just happy that this is over with."


They managed to get out of the police station without further incident. Then Sunset removed the silence spell on Trixie.

"Thirty hours of community service!? Trixie's very existence is a service to the community!"

"You can't deny that you disturbed the peace," said Sunset.

Trixie glared. "Oh, Trixie will show them disturbing the peace!"

At that point, Sunset just teleported both of them to their respective homes.