For someone with a 4.0 GPA, Sunset Shimmer was incredibly stupid. Yes, she may have been able to do most algebraic fractions without a calculator; recite the periodic table backwards; and find any Waldo based on the probability of positinable variants. But when it came to feelings? To understanding social cues and body language? Sunset Shimmer was an absolute idiot.
She stared with blank eyes at the whiteboard behind Doctor Zecora, zoning the older woman out for most of the class. Unable to focus, she’d held her cheek in her palm and resigned herself to merely stare off into space. Better space, than Starlight.
Sunset swallowed thickly as the girl’s name flashed in her mind, rose blooming in her cheeks as she pulled back from her desk to clasp her hands in her lap. She bowed her head, pinched her lips, and stole a glance in the other girl’s direction.
Starlight sat slumped over her desk, chin resting on her arms as she focused her eyes toward the front of the class. Sunset’s eyes fell in shame.
‘What to say? How to say it? When or where or why?’ She swallowed again.
If she were in a movie, the most romantic thing to do would be to stand up now and profess her love, right? The idea of romance is all dependent on how much you can embarrass yourself for the sake of the other person, right? That’s how it worked. Right?
Sunset clenched her eyes shut and let out a sigh.
The sound of shuffling papers drew Sunset’s attention back to the front of the class, where Zecora stood rummaging about her desk and adjusting her lab coat. “Now, class, before we end, I would like to know your new lab bestfriend,” The older woman smiled as she collected a clipboard from the table and dotted her tongue with the ball point of her pen. “Those of you who have already let me know, enjoy your afternoon; you are free to go.”
Shit. The partner project. It had completely slipped her mind.
Sunset clenched her jaw as other students began stuffing and filling things away into their bags. Her eyes darted around, searching the faces of her classmates who had actually taken the initiative to get in contact with the professor— something she hadn’t. Something she had been too distracted to do. Her stomach lurched.
Zecora drifted her pen down her page, checking off the names of people who had informed her of who they would be partnering up with, and smiled once she came to her first blank. “Ah! Starlight Glimmer,” she beamed, looking up from the clipboard to meet the girl’s eyes, “and who might your partner be?”
Sunset snapped her attention toward Starlight, who sat with eyes just as equally wide. Her lips parted for a moment and Sunset felt her breath hitch once the other girl looked her way— catching her stare— and just as quickly, she averted her eyes. Starlight cleared her throat and sat up straight, adjusting the hair from her face as she pursed her lips. “I don’t-”
“Me!” Sunset’s hand shot into the air, a little too enthusiastic. She offered apologetic smiles towards her classmates, who had actually flinched. Sunset straightened out her skirt and swallowed the tightness in her throat as she fluttered her eyes toward Starlight, who was now glaring at her from across the room, eyes darting between Sunset and Zecora. “I meant to include it in the email I sent on Friday, but it slipped my mind. Sorry.”
Satisfied, the professor smiled and scribbled down a note on her clipboard. “That is quite alright, Sunset. Make sure the deadline is something you don’t forget.”
Sunset offered a small nod and, catching Starlight shoving her notebook into her bag, scrambled to gather up her things. Within just a few moments Starlight had already tugged on her jacket and slung her bag over her shoulders, disappearing into the crowd of students as they excused themselves from the class. Sunset tilted her chin upward, to get a better look over the heads of her classmates, as she tucked her chair under her desk, as quickly and quietly as possible. Starlight was fast, she would give her that; but Sunset was determined, and nothing could shake her once she’d set her mind to it.
The redhead ducked and pushed her way through the hall, muttering and yelping out apologies as she forced her way between people. Occasionally, she would rise up onto her toes, hoping to catch a flash of—
Purple and turquoise. Bingo.
Sunset clicked her tongue and, with furrowed brows, turned herself to sidestep through the bustling crowd of teenagers. “Starlight!” She called out after her, grumbling under her breath when the other girl didn’t even stop to look at her. In fact, Sunset was sure she saw the other girl speed up. She rolled her eyes with a huff.
Once they were finally out of the science building, Sunset bent over to press her hands to her knees to allow herself to breathe— but only for a moment. No, she couldn’t stop. She had a Starlight to catch.
This was just like one of Moondancer’s cheesy old rom-coms, she shook her head, although, in those the guy chased down the girl as she was mounting a train or about to board an airplane— but she wasn’t one to complain.
She glanced around the courtyard, heaving and panting the heat from her face, scanning the pathways and shortcuts for the other girl. Starlight was clutching her bag straps and dodging around the groups of teens that always walked far too slow in front of people, and for once, Sunset was grateful they’d held the other girl up— if only momentarily.
She took off after her, holding the pouch of her satchel to her hip to stop it from sliding off her shoulder. She couldn’t stop now. She played it through in her mind— if she dropped her bag, she’d leave it; textbooks, laptop and all. They could be replaced. Her relationship with Starlight couldn’t. Sure, her parents would have probably killed her for being so careless but— but this was for love, dammit!
“Starlight!” Sunset panted as she finally caught up to the other girl, gripping her wrist tightly to stop her from escaping.
When the taller girl finally turned to face her, Starlight’s cheeks were flushed, her lips pinched, and her eyes wide. She was like a deer caught in headlights, and was just as close to breaking out into a run again. She pressed her mouth together into a wry line and did her best to dodge Sunset’s stare. “W-what do you want?”
Sunset took a moment to collect herself, holding up a finger as she doubled over and heaved out a heavy breath. “One-... one second. Jeeze— I haven’t run like that since my Junior year.”
Starlight adjusted her bag strap with the hand Sunset wasn’t currently holding in a vice grip and awkwardly looked around, puckering her lips and blowing air into her cheeks. Her brows twitched as she tried to keep them furrowed, fighting off the deep frown that threatened to give away just how crummy she was feeling.
“Come… come to my dorm.”
Starlight blinked. “What?”
“Come to my dorm,” Sunset repeated and finally straightened herself out. She glanced down at Starlight’s wrist and quickly drew her hand away to rub the back of her neck sheepishly. “S-sorry. Uhm-”
Starlight shook her head and folded her arms. “No. No, Sunset I don’t-... I can’t.”
“Please?”
“I-I’m busy,” Starlight shook her head and kept her eyes low.
“Starlight you’re never busy on Mondays.”
“Yeah, well-” the taller girl pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth and rolled her jaw, tapping her foot and drumming her fingers against her bicep. “Well I am today, so.”
Sunset’s eyes strained and wrinkled at the ends as she clutched the strap of her bag between both hands. Her stomach felt hollow— like a deep, empty pit— and with every breath her throat felt like it was about to close in on itself. She tried her best to think of what to do— what to say, and all she could do was mumble out incoherent noises. “We can- I need to—… We really need to talk about—”
“Hahaha,” Starlight forced an over-enthusiastic fake laugh, a plastic grin spreading across her face as she teetered on her heels. “No, no. No we really don’t need to talk about that. Or anything! I’d prefer if we just pretend Saturday never happened. I think that sounds like a good plan, don’t you agree?”
Sunset wanted to shake her head but she didn’t. She wanted to take the other girl’s hand and tell her everything was okay, but she didn’t. She wanted to make Starlight feel better. But she didn’t.
She sighed and dropped her eyes. Wrung her bag strap in her hands. Chewed on her lip.
“Then… then let’s do that. If that’s what you want. But- we are partners for the project now and—” She paused once she heard the other girl suck in a breath, but continued after a moment, “and we still need to figure out what we’re going to do about that, so…” Sunset swallowed and finally lifted her eyes to meet Starlight’s, twinkling with… Sunset wasn’t sure. “So come to my dorm? Please?”
The walk was brisk and was drenched entirely in a heavy silence, neither girl so much as looking in each other’s direction. Sunset was just glad Starlight had agreed to her invitation, and didn’t want to push it by attempting to make small talk on top of that. Plus, she knew she would just be carrying on a one-sided conversation anyway, and knew from experience that she should never be allowed to do that ever again.
Starlight fell behind as Sunset opened the door and stepped into the dorm. She waited at the side for the other girl to follow in after her and quietly closed the door behind her, awkwardly dropping her eyes and stretching her lips over her teeth.
“You can uhm. Just take a seat on the couch, if you want?”
Starlight didn’t even bother a nod in response as she wandered over and plopped her bag down on the floor at her feet, keeping her eyes low as she clasped her fingers over her knees. Sunset hung up her jacket and rounded the recliner to sit down, mirroring the other girl’s posture, running her tongue over her lip as she tried to think of what to say next.
After a beat, the door to Moondancer’s room burst open, and she shimmied out into the living room. “Hey, hey, hey! How did things-” Moondancer froze upon seeing Sunset’s heated glare, gesturing towards Starlight with a flicker of her eyes. “Oh, shit! Starlight! Whats- uh. What’s up.” Moondancer immediately recoiled in on herself, wrapping one arm across her torso and stroking at her chin with the other. “I uh-” she cleared her throat, “I was actually going to get something to drink but you know what!” She scoffed and pulled an awkward smile, “I forgot that I uh-” She narrowed her eyes, eyebrows arching upward as her lips shrunk into an awkward line. “I actually have to, uhm- go! Yup! I have to go feed my, uhm. Lamp.” Moondancer mumbled and looked, finally, back over to her sister, who looked so absolutely distraught. She mouthed out a “sorry”, before ducking quietly back into her room. Her departure was punctuated by an almost painful click, before silence settled between the two girls once more.
“Do you want to do this in my room?” Sunset asked after a moment, rubbing her palms together before she wrung at her fingers.
Starlight sighed and picked up her bag. “Not particularly. Let’s just get this over with.”
Sunset collected her own things once Starlight had made her way down the hall and, seeing that she had taken the seat at her desk, she gave the other girl a nod before reserving a place on the floor.
As Sunset dug through her bag for her textbooks and notes, Starlight Glimmer cursed inwardly, slipping a pen from her bag to jab the blunt end against her thigh. She turned away from Sunset to bite at her lip and hide the unease that no doubt had made itself home on her face. She knew it was inevitable; that she would have to talk to the other girl sooner or later. She’d just wished it had been later.
Much later.
Like, a couple of years from now at some party, later.
She digressed.
Starlight wasn’t sure what she hated more. The almost agonising silence, Sunset’s occasional attempts at conversation, or the unnerving way Sunset’s chair creaked under her weight as she shifted in her seat. No, yup, it was the chair. Definitely the chair.
“Uhm, so,” Sunset piped up, curling a lock of hair behind her ear as she lifted up a well-highlighted handout from class.
‘Of course it was well highlighted’, Starlight let out a small scoff and was thankful that the sound had been hidden behind another infernal creak.
“We could try testing the strength of acids on specific types of stone?”
“Mhh, yeah. No. The last thing you need is to spill acid over yourself.”
Sunset pursed her lips and filed the paper into her binder. “I’m not an idiot.”
Starlight usually would have made some kind of playful jab, and she opened her mouth to, but the joke died on her tongue as she clenched her fingers around the pen in her hand. “I didn’t mean-... sorry.”
If the tension hadn’t been palpable before, it was certainly strangling now. Sunset felt she might choke on it if she kept her mouth open long enough. Instead, she cleared her throat and held up another handout. “Catalysts?”
“Isn’t that too easy? I would have thought you’d want to do something a little more out-there.”
Sunset shrugged and filed it away again, fingering the edges of her dividers with a sigh. “I’m just trying to spit-ball. You could suggest some, too.” She mumbled.
Starlight felt a white heat spread throughout herself and she bit back a retort, determined not to snap at the other girl. Things between them were already whetted to ignite, and she really didn’t want to blow up. She jabbed the pen to her thigh again and clicked the end to stab the ink to her skin.
Sunset wasn’t any better. Every word that she spoke, dancing around what really mattered, made her chest heave. She should have taken her medication this morning. She bit her lip. She really should have taken her medication this morning. The redhead slipped another sheet of paper from her binder and pulled her knees to her chest to give it a read-over quickly.
Lavender eyes watched as Sunset inspected the document in her lap, and Starlight’s chair creaked once more as she leaned her arms over the backrest, resting her chin on top of them with a tired sigh. As Sunset turned her attention back to the taller girl, their eyes met, and Starlight felt her stomach flutter— the most innocent of pleasures. Her face warmed in a blush.
Sunset’s mouth hung open slightly as she paused, initially caught off guard by Starlight’s staring; however, she pursed her lips and cleared her throat in order to continue. “So, uh—” she began, holding the other girl’s gaze, but fumbled over her words and shook her head. This was silly, this little game they were playing. Pretending that nothing had happened. Pretending that they were okay. “Starlight, about what happened on Saturday—”
“Mmmh,” Starlight hummed and turned back around to face the desk, “nope. Nope, nope. Nothing happened.” She pretended to scribble down notes in her notebook, “Can we just get back to studying?”
Sunset rubbed at her legs to dispel the clamminess in her palms and to distract herself from her shaky breathing. She swallowed, hard, and tried to collect her words. “No. No, we can’t. Starlight we need to talk about—”
Starlight swiftly stood from her chair, tossing her pen aside and threw her arms out wide. “Talk about what, Sunset? Hm? Talk about how I embarrassed myself? About how- how I tried to kiss you?” She nodded, forcing a pained smile as she glared down at the small girl, who only worked to make herself smaller.
As Starlight began pacing, Sunset dropped her eyes to the floor and began picking at the lint of her carpet. She counted backward in threes, recited her table in her mind, and held her breath— at least that would stop her from hyperventilating. Her skin felt so unbearably hot, and she didn’t dare raise her eyes out of the fear of seeing the way Starlight was looking at her, with anger and disgust.
But, that wasn’t the case. Not at all. Starlight cupped her hands over her mouth and breathed a steadying breath into her palms as she raised her head to the ceiling, cursing whatever God above for putting her in this situation in the first place. She stopped her pacing to run a hand through her hair and, only then, did she look down to see Sunset cowering on the floor.
The taller girl knelt down to level with her and dropped her eyes guiltily, biting her lip as she watched the way Sunset’s fingers trembled as she picked at the carpet. “Sunset I-...” Starlight swallowed, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have just assumed that-... I’m-...” her mouth hung open, only a small whimper escaping before she caught it behind her teeth. She let out a breath. “I overstepped. I-... I have feelings for you and- and I shouldn’t have assumed that those feelings were reciprocated just because you wanted to spend time with me.” Starlight pursed her lips and adjusted the way she sat. “I just thought- I thought that maybe- maybe you liked me back and-”
Sunset’s stomach was clenched in a vice and it took all of her strength to even look up from the ground, just in time to see the other girl wipe at her face with her fingers.
“I just- I thought that- that when you’d asked me out, it was more than just… Just to hang out. I thought maybe this whole thing wasn’t one sided and- and that was really inappropriate of me, so- so I’m really sorry, Sunset.” Starlight bit her lip and kept her eyes low, but Sunset could see the way the other girl’s frame tensed as she held back another whimper. “When we were in that closet, at Sunburst’s party, you told me that I made you uncomfortable— and I just didn’t fucking listen,” Starlight caught a cry behind her hand as she clenched her eyes shut.
Sunset felt like a prisoner in her own body— unable to move, or speak. She could only watch the way Starlight fell apart in front of her. She fought so desperately against herself— against the weight in her chest and the tar in her lungs. Her own eyes pricked with tears, but Starlight kept her eyes closed.
“I know that- that Moondancer forced you to spend time with me. I know that she tried to talk you into hanging out with all of us all the time and I just- I wanted to think you were just shy and— and that was so, so selfish of me.” Starlight whined, trying her best to hang onto whatever composure she still had. “You don’t have to do that anymore. I can leave you alone- I won’t—” She shook her head, “I won’t bother you anymore.”
Life is made up of defining moments. Moments that act as a crossroad to possibility. Moments that are so destructive; so monumentally important that it affects the path that we take for the rest of our lives. As Starlight Glimmer moved to stand— to run away— Sunset’s chest burst, and every bit of her bled out.
Sunset Shimmer sprang forward and tackled Starlight against the frame of her bed, holding onto her face as their lips crashed together. The taller girl tensed below her, her pained grunt caught against Sunset’s mouth. Starlight’s wide eyes stared back at closed lids, her hands hanging awkwardly in the air.
It didn’t take long for the pain to settle into her spine, but that didn’t matter. Starlight slowly wrapped her arms around the small of Sunset’s back to hold her in place. She ran a hand up, rubbing between her shoulder blades to sooth the shaky breath that Sunset let out against her cheeks, through her nose. Starlight smiled at the feeling of Sunset’s lashes as they fluttered, and grinned even more at the way the other girl adjusted her grip, slipping her hands to bury her fingers into the hair at the base of Starlight’s head.
The kiss was clumsy. Sunset had bashed their noses together, pinched Starlight’s lip between their teeth, but both girls melted into it regardless. Starlight adjusted herself so that Sunset could settle between her thighs as she pulled back to go in for another kiss. They tilted their heads accordingly, and Sunset parted her lips to allow Starlight’s tongue access into her mouth.
The smaller girl let out a noise and Starlight held her closer. Sunset’s thumbs stroked at Starlight’s jaw. They kissed again.
Sunset’s heart was pounding. Moondancer’s romance novels may have always described the perfect first kiss, but they had nothing on the real thing. They also hadn’t ever explained how this was all supposed to work. Was she even doing this right? Could Starlight tell she hadn’t done this before? Had Starlight done this before? The impulsiveness of her decision was finally catching up to her as her mind began racing with questions, her breath catching in her throat as Starlight initiated their fourth kiss. Her chest was beginning to tighten, and she needed to breathe.
She pulled back with a shuddered breath and Starlight’s half lidded eyes shifted from Sunset’s lips to stare back into her own. They held each other’s gaze before Sunset bit her lip and dropped her eyes, her blush heating the space between them. She ran her tongue over her teeth, trying to remember the way the other girl tasted. Sunset rubbed at the back of her neck and adjusted herself between Starlight’s legs. “Well that was, uhm-”
“That was bananas.”
Sunset lifted her eyes again and wrinkled her brows. She tried to hold back her laugh. She really tried. But Starlight had a way of making her laugh, even when she didn’t want to.
Starlight smiled at the sound, satisfied and finally, finally, allowed herself to relax. “So... Do you wanna get back to studying now, or?”
“Please shut up,” Sunset rolled her eyes and pulled Starlight in for another kiss, once more hooking her hands around the back of the other girl’s neck to hold her in place. Starlight shifted her hands from Sunset’s back to hold onto her hips, one hand rubbing along the length of her thigh.
“So, are you guys hungry? I have some sna— holy shit!” Moondancer screamed as she stepped into the room, only to throw herself back into the hallway once she had caught sight of the other two girls.
Sunset and Starlight shrieked and clambered off of each other to the opposite ends of the room, all three teens blushing furiously. “Moondancer—! What have I told you about knocking!”
“You never told me anything about knocking! Plus, the door was wide open! I just came to see if you guys wanted some snacks, but I can clearly see you guys would prefer to eat each other! That’s cool, more Cheetos for me, I guess!”
“Oh my god,” Starlight groaned as she covered her burning face with her hands.
“I’m going to kill you!” Sunset scrambled out of the room and after her sister, who had already made her way down the hall, slamming her own room door shut as she laughed loudly from the other side.
Starlight peeked through her fingers as she pulled her knees up close to her chest, and gazed up at the poster above her new girlfriend’s desk.
‘Think like a Proton. Be positive.’
“Oh, blow me…”