Redheart lowered her face to the library's table and covered it with her forelegs. Her chest heaved and she sobbed against the crystal.
"I've had that dream so many times," she gasped. "As Celestia fell, I saw the whole world... end. It was coming up on noon, the sun high in the sky. If Celestia died, who would lower the sun? Would we all burn to death over the next three or four days? I thought, I thought, I thought about..."
Redheart arched her back and neck, nose pointed at the ceiling, eyes wide. "I thought about my brothers, who hadn't yet lived their lives. I thought about all my friends from school, from the neighborhood. Several of them had foals, already, by then. I thought about those infants."
AP grabbed her in his forelegs, and pulled her to his chest. He held her tight, his forelegs and wings wrapped around her barrel. She buried her face against his neck.
"Another drink, Sergeant?" Shining Armor asked.
Voice muffled by AP's feathers, Redheart said, "No, my limit's one drink a week. I've seen too many alcoholism cases come through that emergency room door."
Redheart looked up, over AP's shoulder, at Cadance and Shining. Redheart whispered, "And... well, I've often felt the desire to drink myself to sleep to silence the nightmares. So I'm very careful. I set myself a low limit."
Cadance nodded, her face pale. "I was chasing the airships. We took one, but the other delivered too much cannonfire. It killed fifteen of our pegasi and batponies. I cast my spell and felt no slaves, no prisoners, so I ordered the pursuit off. I... I was wrong. Now, I think the Storm King was on that airship."
Twilight poured herself another drink and sipped from the mug, her frown deep.
Cadance continued, "We could have ended it a decade before the Siege of Canterlot, but... my damn cutie mark. Love told me to call off the pursuit, before more of our ponies were killed. Ever since I realized how badly that I, personally, blundered that day, ever since the Storm King took Canterlot, my nightmares have come back."
Shining Armor poured himself another hot chocolate-and-amaretto. "It was all happening so fast," he said. "The curtain walls were collapsing, but they weren't gone yet. Cadance and the pegasi and batponies were... well, I had no idea. All four battalions were ready to charge, storm the fortress, once there were gaps in the walls. But..."
Cadance rubbed her face with her hooves. "I had no idea Aunt Celestia was wounded, back down on the ground."
Shining Armor wiped his eyes with his fetlocks. "So many good ponies died on that stupid field. So many friends."
Cadance wrapped him in her wings, and they touched their foreheads together, rubbing their horns gently up and down each other's. Twilight put a hoof on Cadance's withers.
"How old was I...?" Twilight mused. "Goodness, so young. I was in my second or third year at Celestia's School, and Spike little more than a hatchling. I had no idea. I thought you were finishing up at the Academy."
"Officially, I was," Shining said. "They seconded me to Celestia's Own. They counted combat and medals as course credit." He shrugged. "I still had to finish the coursework and exams, though."
"Why did they second you?" Twilight asked.
Redheart's muffled voice answered, her face still buried against her husband's neck. "The Battalion was always short-hooved. It wasn't above three-quarters of official strength at any time I was in it. The selection test was so hard not enough ponies passed to keep the battalion full. Officers and medics, in particular, we were always short on. If a pony volunteered, and then passed, it was a big deal."
Shining nodded. "That. Every single officer-cadet volunteered for Celestia's Own, it was part of the unwritten Academy ethos. But hardly any of us passed. Only three or four per class. Quite a few cadets who could have passed deliberately flubbed the trials, I think. I can't prove that—but everypony knew: Celestia's Own was, is, the widowmaker unit."
Very quietly, Twilight asked, "Why did you join it?"
Shining looked at Cadance. "I was courting Cadance. I loved her. I wanted to be close to her, and help protect her. And I knew she would be wherever the fire was hottest."
Cadance's face paled until it was the same color as Flurry Heart's. "You—you didn't have to risk your life, Shiny."
AP looked around the table at the others. He rubbed Redheart's withers with his forehooves and wings.
Redheart's tears and flowing snot soaked AP's neck and chest. Her ribs heaved. He kissed her snout, and tasted the bitter salt of her tears.
"Sergeant," Shining said, "I'll finish the story. You rest. After that cannon load cut down two of us shield-casters, and Celestia, what happened—"
"No!" Redheart shouted, sitting up and looking at the others. "No. This is my story. I'll finish it. I'm not going to quit. Celestia's Own don't quit."
Shining nodded, leaned back, and took another sip of his hot chocolate.
Redheart took a deep breath, and finished her story.