"Of course, we have no problem with that!"
"Thank you very much, your highness! I'm sure a little time together will do him a lot of good."
I waited mute in the hallway for Grape Capsule to finish his conversation with Princess Celestia. Since my little brother had found me completely drunk walking the streets of Canterlot later that evening, he hadn't wanted to let go of me, which irritated me a lot.
Yet, apart from that, I felt that something was wrong. As if I'd been abused in some way. And then, these great hours of amnesia in front of me made me very nervous.
To conclude the whole thing, I stank of alcohol miles away. There was no way I could win back Meteor Breath's heart with such an attitude. Even I pitied myself just by looking at myself in the mirror.
"Pull yourself together, Flower Cloud! " I whispered to myself to try to give myself strength.
My idiot brother walked out of the room, bowing for the umpteenth time before closing the door. Then he gave me one of those naive smiles he used to do when we were foals.
"Everything is settled, you can settle here for a few days!"
"I'm telling you everything's perfectly all right. You didn't have to feel obligated. As I said, I'm fine!"
"I don't feel obligated at all. I love spending time with my big sister!"
"Good for you! Could you tell me where my room is! I'd like to wash up."
"It's the one next to mine, isn't it great? We can spend even more time together!"
"That's great. Could you leave me now? I'd like some time alone."
"All right, I had to go take care of Anon anyway."
"Who?"
"The young orphan that Prince Blueblood and Carrot Top adopted. She's adorable, you'll see."
"Ah... Poor child. When she realizes she's just a vulgar fashion statement, her little heart will break."
"No, don't worry. I've seen them. I assure you, they seem to like her very much."
"Wait and see how long it takes in this case. When the routine runs through their hearts and Anon becomes more of a burden than anything else."
"Why are you being so pessimistic? They seem so happy together."
"I've always been a pessimist and you... far too naive. But I suppose that's what Meteor Breath likes?"
"To tell you the truth, I still don't understand why she likes me. I'm a long way from the heroic stallions in children's books to deserving a princess like her."
"That's for sure. You're a long way from anything brave and courageous."
"It doesn't help me at all what you're saying. I'm gonna go now, I'll see you later?"
"Let's hope not."
The warm water came down from my body with the most pleasant feeling. I closed my eyes and sniffed the soft warmth of the passion fruit-flavored water.
When I felt clean again and smelled something that didn't remind me of a relapsing alcoholic, I got out of the shower.
It was the first time I had ever used one, and it was one of the most sophisticated devices I had ever seen. Equestria is evolving well, I thought to myself. When I get home, I will have to install one.
So I took a bathrobe and inspected with a clearer mind, the room that my little brother had been able to get for me from the Princess. It was a very bright room with only two colors, gold, and white.
I sat comfortably on the bed in the middle of the room and reflected on the miserable meaning my life had taken on. I had a job that I didn't like and especially no one to live with.
Since we had lost touch with Meteor Breath and me, I felt like the world had gone out of whack. Like a broken clock that continues its eternal round but no longer has that regular rhythm that makes every second a treasure.
I sighed, what's the point? Many mares and stallions would like to have a life like mine, but lately, I can't even enjoy it anymore.
I don't go out anymore for fear of feeling alone in front of the couples and groups of friends who criss-cross the capital with smiles stapled on their stupid faces.
While I, a lonely mare that I have almost always been. I have no real friends and my colleagues are far from friendly. The only one of them who was friendly with me was a stupid stallion who wanted me in his bed.
Suddenly, as I was in my sinister thoughts, I noticed that the white of the room was now red.
"So, you don't remember your dream?" A voice echoed through the silent room.
"Is there anyone there? "I asked weakly.
"Look at the table and tell me what you see!"
I was scared now. Who was it? My brother's joke? I took my courage and got up from bed, staring at the table. On it sat a scroll that wasn't there a few minutes before, I was sure. The voice began to read what was written on it:
"Me, Flower Cloud, pledge my commitment to helping others to realize my dream."
"My dream?"
"Meteor Breath," the voice whispered in response.
"But that's impossible, she's with my brother."
"But is this your dream?"
"Yes, but it won't happen!"
"Love is only a story of chemistry. I can offer you two love filters. The first one will be for your brother to leave Meteor Breath and not suffer the breakup. You don't want him to suffer?"
"No, he may be dumb and clingy, but he's still my little brother."
"Fine, and the second one will be for you and Meteor Breath. That way, your dream will come true."
"But what do you mean by helping others?"
"Simple services for ponies in need when you're approached by some."
"That's it?"
"Yes."
"But why are you doing this?"
"Goodness is my name."
-Carrot Top-
I was knocking on Meteor Breath's bedroom door in a panic. I was so anxious, I felt like a time bomb. No sooner did the door begin to open than I asked her earnestly:
"Mrs. Breath, I'm very sorry for my husband is angry against you, but I must speak to you."
"What's going on? " Yawned heavily as Meteor Breath opened the bedroom door with a sleepy paw.
"It all started this morning, my little family was having breakfast when Blueblood saw that there was a storm forecast and thought of going to the theater."
"And?"
"Anon seemed happy at first. I haven't known her long, but she seems messed up and sad right now. Anyway, she said it would take her mind off it and I hope it would. But the problem arose when we told Anon that we needed an outfit to be able to go.
Blueblood, who thought he was doing the right thing, insisted that she put on a very pretty dress that he had planned for the occasion. Anon, however, got up in arms and yelled that she was a male.
Of course, Blueblood got angry too and yelled at her that she was a filly and that she should dress like one.
Since then, Anon has barricaded herself in her room while Blueblood seems bad. I don't know what to do anymore. "Tears were starting to fall from my face.
"Calm down! It's all right. Look, first, we're going to try to defuse the situation. I'll talk to Anon and you talk to Blueblood. It's good?"
"But I don't know what to say to him!"
"Tell him that it doesn't matter if your child thinks of himself as a girl or a boy as long as love is present in each of you."
When I finally got there, the door was open. Blueblood was crying miserably on the sagging floor of a bedroom wall. The room was plunged into semi-darkness while only my husband's languid sobs could be heard.
I tried to calm myself before entering. Then, as I sat down beside him and stroked his mane, the crying stopped as he laid his head against my shoulder.
"Tell me, Carrot. What do you think we missed with Anon?"
"We haven't missed anything when it comes to Anon's education."
" Then why? Can you imagine if she's a transsexual?"
"Even if she is transsexual and it can be upsetting at first, I would still love her because she is our Blueblood child. Anon will always be our child whether she is a girl or a boy."
After a long silence, he resumed:
"You're right. Anon is our child first and foremost. I feel so horrible about what I said to her earlier. I have to go talk to her. "
"So let's not waste time."
Blueblood set off at lightning speed into Anon's now open room where I managed to follow him closely. But when we entered, Meteor Breath looked pale and didn't move.
Hundreds of horrible scenarios were playing out in my head as the bedroom window slammed shut. I firmly shook the dark mare who seemed to return to those spirits.
"She... she fell. " She succeeded in pronouncing.
I felt the cold, icy wind chill my whole being. I rushed to the window only to see a torn rope with only part of the cloth remaining. Anon had fallen.
- Anon -
"Ooh, my head!"
My small body was causing me terrible pain everywhere while my fall had been slowed down by a bush in the gardens. When the stupid rope broke, I saw how little of my life was passing by.
Outside it was a storm. It was raining like hell from ten yards away while the wind was shaking the trees with unparalleled force.
I got up and felt a dull pain in my left rear leg. Still, I could not give up. So I began to limp towards the city. I had to leave. Blueblood would most certainly take me back to the orphanage after what had happened.
Why was I so stupid? I should have just played the perfect little filly and nothing would have happened. Now I was hardly going to be thrown back to the orphanage the way they would throw a dog into the pound. Or maybe I should have killed Night Sparkle?
As if to answer me, the pain increased as I fell into a mud puddle. I got up somehow. I had to keep going.
"Don't give up hope," I repeated to myself as the pain in my leg became stabbing.
Upstairs in the castle, I could hear shouting from all sides. Now I was very afraid. The lights of the city were slowly coming closer as the wide ramparts behind me gradually disappeared from my sight cut by the mighty rain curtain.
I fell again and to my great fright rolled down a slope where fortunately I met nothing. When I got up, there were no more lights in the city or even of the castle to guide me. Shouts began to sound from all sides.
I started to run as fast as I could, getting up whenever I could try to sow through the elements my pursuers who kept shouting words that my brain could not determine.
Finally, at the end of my strength, I ran aground at the entrance of a wood where a crackling pond stood. I cowered, trying to keep the heat of my run to keep me warm, but the freezing claws of the rain continued to whip my coat, gradually removing all warmth from my being.
I touched my injured leg to see the full extent of the damage. Blood was now permeating my sticky, wet hoof. The bleeding continued unabated.
I could feel myself getting lost as my brain emptied of all thought. Numb, like a machine that stopped working. I slowly stopped working. My last thought came:
"I'm a failure!"
And the world seemed to fall apart.
I still felt as bad as ever, but warm and protected. I was still on the floor, but the humidity no longer affected me. I stood up and contemplated the invisible curtain of rain that did not weaken, while in the distance the screams continued.
"What's up?"
I turned quickly to find Lord Fear reading a book while sitting cross-legged. He did not move an inch.
"What's going on?"
"Where? Here? To start looking at my right arm."
So I looked at his right arm up, which I had never seen before, and looked at the large dark umbrella he was holding to protect us both from the rain.
"Better? Now listen to me carefully. Take a deep breath and look at your feet."
I raised an interrogative eyebrow but in the face of his passivity, I obey. I lowered my eyes but I couldn't go on any further. There was a body on the ground. I watched in panic as Lord Fear continued stoically reading his book.
"Keep reading."
I looked down again. There was indeed a body on the floor. It seemed as cold as death and the mud and the blood on it made it unrecognizable. I felt nauseous. The rain came through the umbrella and fell on the little body.
"Anon," Lord Fear was looking at me now. "Do you know this person? ยป
I was walking away from the corpse. "No, I don't think."
Lord Fear's gaze became more insistent and saddened. "Are you sure?"
"No, this person doesn't look familiar."
"Then tell me what you see," Lord Fear continued.
"I see a pony. I'd say small and covered in blood and mud."
"That's it? Why is she here?"
"I don't know."
"Why is he bleeding?"
"He must have had a..."
Suddenly, I felt as if the umbrella no longer protected me, I felt an icy shiver run down my spine. I came closer again to the lifeless body and looked through those eyelids, those two blue eyes.
"It was me."
Only the sound of the rain came to answer me while the voices in the distance lost their intensity. The lapping that the rain made on the pond made every second harder for me to live.
"Am I dead? "I finally articulated.
"No, but you have to choose."
"But of course I'm dead. My body's here and I'm..." I tried in vain to see any part of who I was.
"Your body is breathing. "Lord Fear replied coldly, resuming his reading.
"Then why am I not unconscious on the ground?"
"For thou art between life and death. You must choose."
"Choose what?"
"You can abandon your body and die as easily as you leave this umbrella or you can return to the living."
"Is there a world after death?"
I sensed a bit of fun in his tone.
"So the only thing you're interested in is living in a different world again? I think it's happened to you before and look where it got you."
"I'd just like to know."
He became cold as stone.
"Is life so important that even in death it should be lived?"
"No, I don't know. My life is a complete mess."
"A waste? Yet you have people who love you."
"No, everybody hates me. If I ran away, it's because I have nothing left to lose."
"You're wrong, Anon. People love you. Do you hear those screams in the distance?"
I was nodding.
"Can't you see what's in front of you?"
"What's that?"
"Those people who, in the storm, in the gust, in the clutches of this raging world, continue to pray to thy name. Hear their calls. Hear their cries and their follies. Or much more simply, what is called love."
"I, uh..."
"Anon! " Were the voices screaming despite the storm that was in full swing...
"I want to make it clear that I'll never understand why you can predict a storm like this when you control the weather."
"Do they love me?"
"That's for sure. Now you have to choose. There's not much time left. The life you've been running from or death at its most beautiful reef?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"You saved me! Then I'll give you the choice to save yourself."
"I, uh..."
"Now choose!"
"Life," I replied more out of fear than reflection.
I felt myself being sucked through my body as the cold that was gradually taking over my being disappeared. I got up with pains everywhere completely covered with mud and blood.
I turned around. No Lord Fear or even an umbrella. Only a book was sitting there in the mud called: The Bad luck of my Life". There were many blank pages yet it seemed to me that Lord Fear was at the end? More magic, I assumed.
Anyway, I had to get back to the castle. Carrot Top and Blueblood must have been worried sick by now. My aching leg seemed to have taken on a disturbing hue from what I could see under the mud.
I got up and walked but soon I fell unconscious. The bleeding had become too much.