//------------------------------//
// Lesson 1 - What is Romanticism 
// Story: Discord Teaches Philosophy: On Love 
// by CrackedInkWell 
//------------------------------//

It wasn’t unusual for professors to teach a summer class, especially at the School of Friendship. For most of Equestria, there are make-up classes for students who might have fallen behind in this or that subject during the rest of the year. Things like math or magic studies are common places and are often the dread of youngsters. But for some, there are those who take these classes willingly in hopes to further their understanding or get ahead with their education.

At the School of Friendship, however, a new class had suddenly opened up very unexpectedly. Sure, it might have to do with the fact that Discord, the Philosophy teacher, had never before taught a class during the summer. It also could be that he was a popular sort whose lessons are talked about both inside the school and out of town – which was why it drew some ponies from outside of Ponyville. However, for the thirty enrolled students, all of them were curious about the subject he was going to teach.

Love.

From students to professors, this alone raised many eyebrows. Ever since Discord had posted several posters that promoted the class, many were wondering… why? In all the years that the Draconequus had decided to take on the full-time job of teaching, and while he taught many useful things to students, this was something he never mentioned before. No sooner had the posters gone up that rumors were circulating; questioning what Discord’s motives were. All these years of teaching, why is he bringing up the subject of love now? How could he teach love? What is he doing this for?

In June on a warm morning where all the windows of the school were opened, the curious students waited outside of the door of Discord’s classroom. The infamous Room 256, a place where reality itself changes depending on what the teacher had in mind. As they waited in the hall, Gallus turned over to his old-time friends. “So…” he began, trying to break the awkward silence of the others. “What brings you all here?”

“To be honest,” Smolder said. "Ocellus and I are here for two reasons. First being so we can meet Discord again – I mean, it’s been too long since the last time we’d had him as a teacher. We just, you know, miss him is all.”

“Okay? And the other?”

“Well,” Ocellus spoke up, her cheeks blushing a shade of pink. “I don’t know if any of you know this but… I uh… recently asked Smolder out and she said yes.”

“You’re dating?” Silverstream asked but in a surprised tone. “Guys! Why didn’t you tell us, that’s fantastic!”

“To be fair,” Smolder pointed out, “we just got started and it’s not totally serious. We’re also here just in case we uh… might. And hopefully, Discord would give us some pointers here and there.”

“Why Discord doing this?” Yona questioned. “Discord spoke of many things. Only nothing like this. Why?”

“That’s what I’m wondering.” Sandbar said. “And I agree, this seems a bit too random, even for him. No… That’s the right word… It’s very specific, if that makes sense.”

“Do you think something happened?” Silverstream inquired, a talon tapping her beak in thought. 

“The way I see it,” Smolder spoke aloud, “depending on what he’s going to say, either he’s finally dating Professor Fluttershy, or something went horribly wrong and he’s trying to persuade everyone not to bother with it.”

Ocellus raised an eyebrow. “Well that’s a little cynical, don’t you think?”

“It’s a little hard not to think that when she’s here.” Smolder pointed. 

The others looked down at the line of ponies that had gathered and noticed that there was a particular couple that caught their attention. If anything, it was both a surprise and expected at the same time to see Princess Cadence and Shining Armor to be here at the very back of the line. 

Gallus raised an eyebrow. “Hey, you guys, I’ll be right back.” He walked away from his spot, going past a few dozen ponies before approaching the pink alicorn and her husband. He stopped, put a claw over his heart, and bowed his head. “Your Highness.”

“Oh, you must be Gallus, right?” He nodded. “Well long time no see. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah, Princess Twilight had granted me some time off so I can attend the class.”

“Really?” Shining tilted his head, “I thought Twilie was going to come here too.”

Gallus blinked, “The Princess is coming?”

“At least, we thought she is.” Cadence clarified. “Only we haven’t seen her yet. Then again, we’re still early. So, how are you?”

“I’m okay as far as being Captain of the Guard goes. So what are you two doing here?”

Cadence smirked, “Funny, I was going to ask the same thing.”

“Well…” Gallus blushed. “You first.”

“Basically, we’re here to see Discord doesn’t do anything… problematic.” Shining answered. “I know he’s gotten better over the years, but the stuff about love-”

“Is my territory and I want to see if he does it right.” Cadence finished. “And you?”

Looking over at his shoulder to where his friends were making small talk, Gallus said, “Don’t tell anyone I said this but… lately, I’ve been well… lonely. Sure, Discord has helped me in the past and I got a good job from Twilight, but still… I don’t want to be single forever, ya know? So, when I heard Discord was going to teach about Love… I hoped…”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” Shining told him. “Don’t give up on finding the right one out there. You just have to keep your eyes open.”

“Easier said than done,” Gallus muttered. 

Before either of the couple could respond, they caught a few familiar voices and their attention was turned behind them. Coming down the hall were two mares – Professor Fluttershy who over the years had let her mane grow longer, and Princess Twilight who has grown taller. Instinctually, Gallus bowed. “My Princess.” 

“Gallus,” Twilight said, bidding her captain of the guard to rise, “I didn’t know that you were coming here.”

He nodded, “Now you know why I asked for some time off.”

“I don’t blame you. From what Fluttershy has been telling me, Discord has really dived into the subject lately.”

“He’s been working hard for it,” Fluttershy smiled. “Discord even has gone through the trouble of weaving some psychology and history into his lesson – just to make sure that he can get it right.”

“Psychology?” Gallus questioned. “I thought this was technically a philosophy class.”

“It is, but he’s trying to use as many sources as he could for this.”

Cadence was intrigued. “Must be something really important if Discord is going all out with this. Besides, I’m a little disappointed he didn’t even ask me about my thoughts on the subject.”

“Knowing him,” Fluttershy answered, “he will.”

Meanwhile, near the front of the line, two cousins started to have some small talk. “So…” Applejack began. “What are ya in for?”

“Huh?” Braeburn tilted his head.

“Ah mean, what brought ya here ta Ponyville? Especially ta this class.” She tilted her head over to the door. “Ah thought things were goin’ well with yer husband.”

“Funny,” Braeburn raised an eyebrow, “Ah was gonna say the same thin’ with yer wife.”

The two cousins fell silent for a moment. 

“Was there a fight?” Applejack inquired. “Ah noticed that ya and Troubleshoes didn’t anythin’ ta each other since ya came here.”

“Nothin’s wrong,” Troubleshoes said, his hooves still crossed and his back against the wall. 

“I may not have been the element of honesty,” Rainbow craned her neck over, “But even standing in this hallway for ten minutes is more than enough to see that’s complete crap.”

“Rainbow,” Braeburn raised a hoof, “Jus’… stay outta this.” He returned back to his cousin, “Again, why are you two here?”

“Probably the opposite reason fer what ya got here.”

“What? That she tells ya everythin’ wrong?”

Applejack frowns, “She ain’t nice about it.”

“The only reason I’m here,” Rainbow informed, “is because she asked me to and that it might be good for us. But knowing Discord… that might be questionable.”

“It’s a chance.” Applejack mumbled.

Behind them, two wealthy stallions talked with each other.

“Well, it’s certainly Fancy to see you here.” Filthy Rich said with a smile.

His wife rolled her eyes at the annoyance of the pun.

“I know I have seen your face before,” Fancy Pants pointed out. “It’s familiar but for some reason, I can’t put my hoof on it.”

“The name’s Rich,” Filthy reached into the pocket of his jacket to pull out a business card. “I happen to run Barnyard Bargen’s here in town.”

“Oh! Now I recall,” Fancy took the card in his aura. “I’m more familiar with your father. He used to attend my family’s parties in Canterlot now and then.”

“I remember those too.” He nodded. “So what is a pony like yourself doing here for a class on Love?”

“I’m doing this for my marefriend, you see. The relationship is doing fine but I kind of hoped that perhaps we could find some ways to improve you. You know?”

Filthy nodded. “I see. To be honest with you, this for my wife is a last-ditch effort.”

“What does that mean?”

“Lately… things aren’t going as we hoped, let’s just say.”

“You’re being too nice about it.” Spoiled mumbled. 

Hearing this, Fleur de Lis spoke up. “Oh… I’m so sorry to hear that. Would you mind if I asked a personal question?”

Spoiled raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Over what?”

“Your relationship… do you two fight often?”

“A better question is, when don’t we?”

“Hon,” Filthy quietly snapped at her. “Not here. Especially when everyone can see.”

Spoiled stayed quiet but seethed. Unbeknownst to the Rich’s, Fleur and Fancy looked on at their quiet anger with envy.

Behind them, Big Macintosh and Sugar Belle, both their heads tilted in slight confusion, glanced at one another. “You know,” Sugar said aloud, “I think I may get an idea why they’re here. So why are you?”

Ms. Harswhinny rolled her eyes. “Look, just because I’m known to scare every other pony, doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in probably getting a date. Besides, hopefully, this class might finally give me a straight answer on something that has been bothering me for years.”

“Yeah?” Big Mac tilted his head, “And what’s that?”

“Why am I still single? I just don’t get it. What do they have,” she waved to the ponies ahead of them, “that I don’t?”

“To be honest,” Sugar looked over her shoulder, “I don’t really know since I don’t know everyone here.”

Ms. Harshwhinny hummed in thought. “So, what are you here for?”

“It’s uh…” Big Mac rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s kinda embarassin’.”

“Is it something that will be brought up?”

Neither of the couple said anything.

While Ms. Harshwhinny was grilling them, Miss Cheerliee was talking to the Cakes.

“Don’t get us wrong,” Mrs. Cake informed Cheerliee. “I love my hubby, still do, it’s just…”

“Lately things have been, uh…” Mr. Cake coughed into his hoof. “Stale. As much as we still care for each other and the kids, it’s like… a part of that spark that got us together isn’t as strong. We just don’t know why.”

“I get it,” Cheerliee nodded, “You’re both here to see why is that.”

“That is if Discord would bring it up.” Mr. Cake pointed out. “And your reason?”

Cheerliee looked over to Big Mac for a moment, “I… want to know how to move on is all.”

Between them, the princesses, Shining, Gallus, and Fluttershy, a small group of ponies formed around in a cluster. Among them was Starlight who looked up and down the hall. “C’mon… Where is she? She knows very well that the class starts at nine.”

“Maybe she’s running late,” Lyra suggested. “It’s not that sort of thing happens, right?”

“But I specifically told her, both to her face and in writing to be here before nine – but once again, still nowhere to be seen.”

“I’m sure there’s a reason, right?” Soarin suggested. “I mean, your marefriend probably ran into something that slowed her down or something.”

“On the other hoof,” Sweetie Drops theorized, “it could be that she had forgotten.”

“That’s where I must disagree,” Rarity shook her head. “Knowing her… reputation, her reason for being late must have a more selfish leaning. Perhaps overslept or is in the shower.”

“Says the mare who takes ten weeks to style her mane and wonders why she can’t get a date.”

Rarity frowned, “Passive aggressiveness is not becoming well on you.”

“Okay, okay.” Soarin raised his hooves, “Look, to be fair, if… what’s-her-name is running late, I’m sure there’s an innocent reason behind it. There’s no need to be nasty here.”

Starlight breathed in deeply, “Sorry… It’s just I’m on edge with her as it is.”

“Hey, couples get into fights,” Sweetie Drop said, “we may be sweet most of the time, but even we get into arguments over the silliest of things.”

“Tell me about it,” Lyra rolled her eyes, “Like that one time where we had this huge argument over a towel on the bathroom floor that went on for days.”

“At least you guys have a relationship,” Soarin pointed out, “Like Rarity here, I’m still trying to figure out why I’m having such a hard time just finding someone decent.”

“I know it’s hard,” Rarity put a consoling hoof on his shoulder, “But I think eventually we’ll all find the right one for us somewhere. Who knows, maybe Discord has found something that could help us with that.”

A few minutes later, the clock hanging on the walls of the hall struck nine, and the door to Discord’s classroom was opened. The students pushed through the door and each one that entered was in awe of what they saw. What some had expected to be a hot, cramped classroom was taken aback at the sheer landscape that was like they stepped inside an oil painting. If anything, that’s exactly what they did!





Although outside it is summer and growing increasingly warm, inside that classroom, they were surrounded by autumn, walking out of a forest and towards a clear, mirror-like lake. All around there were golds, oranges, yellows, and greens, and above them was a magnificent sunrise that was peeking through the dark clouds. Although everything about this place was, up close, an oil painting, the grass, the cool air, even the crunchy leaves felt, smelled, and seemed real but distorted a bit by the countless brushstrokes that were everywhere. 

“Are you seeing this?”

“This is incredible!”

“At least it’s not hot anymore.”

“Where did all of this come from?”

The confusion and awe of the students became louder as they walked further into this landscape. For at first, none of them had any idea what exactly to do or where to go – until they spotted a figure that was busy painting a tree into existence. Fluttershy flew over and found Discord with a (what was white) apron that was covered in paint that covered his striped blue and white shirt. On his head was a black barre that was speaking Prench. He had a pallet in one claw and several brushes in his paw. 

“Good morning, Discord,” Fluttershy said as the other students drew near.

The Draconequus turned around. He smiled. “Fluttershy!” He tossed off his art supplies and his apron to embrace the mare. “Is it nine already? I was so busy getting all of this ready I think I lost track. So, uh…” he grinned nervously, “Do you like it? I know it’s not quite done yet.”

“This is gorgeous,” Fluttershy beamed. “Only… Why are you taking up painting?”

“Because this place is the perfect setting for today’s lesson.” He turned to the other students that approached him. “Ah, so I take it that you’re here for Love 101?” They nodded. Discord than pulled on a nipple to pull out the drawer from him, take out a scroll and closing it. “Very well, before we get to that,” he took out a pair of glasses from hyperspace, “there are a few things we need to do. Roll call!” He summoned a whistle and, after blowing on it, the remaining students were now suddenly in front of him in a semi-circle. Then having the pallet float over to him, it unrolled a list. “Before we start, firstly, let’s make sure that everyone’s here. Ready? Here we go in no particular order. Fluttershy.”

“Hi.”

“Lyra.”

“Over here.”

“Cadence.”

“Present.” She said aloud, raising a hoof.

“Silverstream.”

“Here!”

Discord looked up from his list and smiled. “Well, well. The old gangs’ here!” He marked off several names. “It’s good to have you all back again. It wouldn’t be a philosophy lesson without any of you making a cameo. Otherwise, the readers would crucify me.”

“What?” Yona asked but Discord continued with the roll call.

“Applejack.”

“Howdy.”

“Applejack’s obvious wife.”

“You could just say my name.” Rainbow Dash said annoyed.

“Yes, but there those that don’t exactly approve the ship. Troubleshoes.”

A large hoof was raised.

“Ex-Agent Bon Bon.”

“How the hey did you know that!” Sweetie Drops demanded but it went unheard.

“Shining Armor.”

“Here.”

“Ms. Boss.”

“Good morning to you too, Discord.” Starlight Glimmer said flatly.

“Starlight’s obvious marefriend.”

Silence. 

“Trixie?” He looked around but saw no sign of the blue unicorn. Annoyed, he snapped his talons, and in popped Trixie into existence; screaming and apparently was in the middle of a shower. Starlight summoned a towel to cover her and glared at Discord. “What? That’s what you get for being late without giving me an excuse slip. Now, where was I? Ah, Madame Fleur de Lis.”

“You know I’m not actually-” Fleur began but was interrupted.

“Cup Cake.”

“Here.”

“Cup Cake’s husband.”

“Also here.”

“The yellow loud one that talks a lot.”

“Ya mean me?” Braeburn asked.

“Big red cousin to said yellow loud one that talks a lot.”

Big Macintosh raised a hoof.

“And his wife.”

“Here.” Sugar Belle said.

“Rarity.”

“Good morning.”

“Miss Cheerliee.”

“Hello.”

“The rich pony.”

“That’ll be me.” Filthy Rich said, raising his hoof.

Discord raised an eyebrow. “The other rich pony.”

“What, you mean me?” Spoil asked.

“That too, but the other, other rich pony. The likable one.”

“I think he’s talking about me.” Fancy Pants said.

“Ms. Harshwhinny.”

“Present.”

“Soarin.”

“Yep!”

“Last but capable of turning me to stone if she’s in a bad mood, Twilight.”

“Well hello to you too.” Twilight deadpanned.

After looking through the list and seeing that all the names were marked. He let the list turn into a green uniform, complete with an army helmet; once he put them on, he faced his new class.

“The next important thing that all of you need to know,” he began, pacing about like a general, “is that this will be the only time that I will be giving all of you – including the readers – a warning. What I’m about to talk about can and will change your view of what romantic love is. This will include dismantling common misconceptions of what being lovey-dovey is, and to show how to avoid the tempting traps that you will or have encountered. 

“Let’s make this as perfectly clear as I can;” he stopped and faced his students, “this class is not a strictly dating class, nor solely a marriage counseling class, nor a how to spot a cheater class, nor a sex-ed class. Got it? What this class aims to do, is to illustrate why everyone here is doing love badly and how to improve if possible. This series of classes, I must warn you here and now, will either solidify your relationship or destroy it completely – and either way, you’re welcome. This is a class where I’m going to use a combo of philosophy, history, psychology, and sociology to turn our deep-seated resentment, our anger of our current relationships into sadness. If I can do that, we’ve made progress. I’m going to use philosophy to not only let you all down gently but to show what you can do with this knowledge in a constructive way.

“If anyone in this class wants to leave. Now will be the time. I won’t stop if you.” He then turned around. His back against his students, he waited. 

None of the ponies made a move.

Neither did the reader.

Discord looked over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised, and flew off. “Still here? Well then, let’s get started with the main reason I painstakingly made this landscape.”

Fancy Pants looked around, “Really? Why?”

“Rule number one when attending any of Discord’s classes,” Gallus explained, “when he distorts reality, he does it for a reason.”

“That’s right!” Discord nodded happily. “I’m going to get to one of the two reasons why relationships tend to end in flames or having the cops being called. By understanding how this idea has influenced the way we see love and how we do things like falling in love, or dating, or even getting married; we’ll see why it has actually been ruinous for relationships everywhere.”

“And what’s that?” Lyra asked.

Picking up his paintbrush and his palette, he then painted in the air a single word in red:

ROMANTICISM

Immediately, there were several confused looks among all his students. Ocellus was the first to voice this perplexity. “Mr. Discord, I don’t think I understand. I thought from history classes that it was a movement that influenced art and had little to do with love itself.”

“Which brings me to have to pull out a big fat disclaimer.” Discord clarified, painting a pony underneath the floating words. A dark blue stallion with glasses, “Here to do that for me is the author of this very story.” After he put the last bit of detail on the painting of the pony, it blinked and came to life. 

“Huh?” Cracked Inkwell looked about. “What the- oh… you again.”

“Hey Ink, mind giving these students and your readers your disclaimer before I pretty much ruin love for them?”

“Couldn’t you do it?”

“I figured that since you’re more the historian type, I’d leave this bit to the real expert.”

“Ugh, fine.” He turned to the students and, after clearing his throat said, “I know there’s some confusion here, especially with the word Romanticism. Some of you may have heard of it, others may not know what it’s about. This was, once upon a time, a movement that started around… the 750s (I think) where it was a counterculture to the Age of Reason. If you want to know what it’s about, I can distill it all down with what all the poets, writers, philosophers, composers, etc… have believed in above all else into a single word: Passion. 

“The thing is, when Discord,” he waved a hoof at the Draconequus, “is talking about Romanticism, he’s not talking about its good sides – especially the art. I mean, some of the greatest works ever created came out from this period. From composers like Beethooven and Horseshoepin; to painters like Turner that eventually laid the foundations of the Impressionists; even poets like Lord Byron have shown that you can combine passion with genius to create some incredible things. Heck, even I tend to think of myself as a kind of Romantic-style writer in that regard. Where I let my instincts guide me while using reason as a compass as to where I wanted to go.

“However, all that stuff is not what Discord is going to be talking about. 

“He’s talking about the ideas that – to this day – still influenced the way we think love is. And it’s no surprise either since we all kinda heard about from fairytales we’ve heard as foals. So, when he talks about Romanticism, he’s talking about the ideas surrounding romance itself, not the ingenious art that came about.” After he finished, he turned back to the Draconequus, “Can I go home now.”

“You’re excused.”

The author took his leave and exited through the door.

“So wait,” Twilight raised a hoof, “if that guy is the author… would that mean that you just pulled out God to talk to us?”

“Best not to think about it too hard,” Discord advised, “otherwise, your head will explode. So,” he turned to the rest of the class, “now that we got all of that out of the way, are we clear about where I stand?” They nodded. “Good. So, let’s truly get started!

“Now when it comes to love, and even before any of you step hoof and claw into my classroom, I’d bet some of you think that there’s no need for me to teach about love as it’s just an instinct, right? All you simply have to do is follow your heart, be yourself, and everything will be well.”

“That’s pretty much love in a nutshell.” Cadence commented.

“Ah-ah!” Discord waved a talon. “Not so.”

“Huh?” Cadence tilted her head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“The truth is that as much as we love to believe in stuff like that, the way we do things like falling in love, how and why we get married, even how cheating was seen has changed across time, cultures and societies – all without even you noticing. So, to really understand why this whole Romantic view of love came from, allow me to take you all on a short tour through history.”

Discord raised a talon and snapped it.

Before the class could register what had happened, they found themselves gone from being inside a romantic autumn painting to becoming flat, moving carvings on a sandstone wall. 

“What in tarnation!” Everyone in the Apple family yelled at once.

“Oh, calm down.” Discord chided, “You all make it sound like you’ve never become a carving before. Sheesh!”

“Where are we?” Filthy demanded, “What’s going on.”

“Ah! Straight to the point. Welcome class to ancient Maresopotamia. In particular, the city of Mari, and it’s about… oh two-thousand years before Princess Moody went Loony and was sent to the Moony.”

“Okay,” Twilight interjected, “but why are we here?”

“That,” he pointed. The class looked over and saw an elaborate carving of ponies with beards, mares in elaborate dresses, and there before a great bonfire was a couple with crowns on their heads who stood before a priest.

“Do you, King Zimrilim,” said the priest, “take Shibtu of Yamhad to expand each other’s kingdoms, increase trade, swear alliances in times of war, and will try to produce an heir or twelve with this mare?”

“I do.”

“I declare you now before the Gods, husband and wife.”

The other carvings celebrated with joy.

Discord turned to his class. Many of which had confusion etched on their faces.

He raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“So…” Smolder inquired, “Can they see and hear us or…?”

“Of course not, they’re drawings. Anyone else?”

“What jus’ happened?” Troubleshoes asked.

“What we saw is the typical wedding that will be around for the next few thousand years. But did any of you noticed something… missing from this wedding?”

“What the buck was that?” Cadence uncharacteristically demanded. “Where's the flowers? And the decorations of love? And the-”

“It doesn’t exist here.” Discord interrupted. “In fact, for a long time, love and marriage had next to nothing to do with one another. Marriage at this point was seen as… how do I put this…? A kind of trade. For most of history, all around the world and even to this day, marriage was mostly seen as practical for economic reasons.”

Sweetie Drops raised a hoof. “Like arranged marriages? I hear in Mandia they still do that.”

“Exactly! Ponies for centuries have traditionally married, not because they love them, but the families that organize these things do so for various reasons like they had a goat and you had a chicken. Or that your lands were next door. Or you needed to unite entire kingdoms to make alliances with. What most arranged marriages were, they what are called are a marriage of reason. If anything, if you told any of these ponies or those in modern Mandia that you should marry for love, not only will the laugh hard and point at you, but they will think that doing so is deviant.”

“Wait, really?” Spoiled Rich asked with a raised eyebrow. “Why is that?”

“I’m going to answer that later, so hold that thought.” Discord snapped again. 

Now this time the scenery has changed. Although the class was still two-dimensional, they upgraded from a carving on a wall to a drawing on a Mareval illuminated manuscript. The class also noticed that the ground was moving. However, it wasn’t ground at all, but a drawing of the sea that moved beneath their hooves. 

Twilight lifted the students off the shaky ground, both she and Discord frowning at one another. “Show off.” Discord muttered.

“Where are we now?”

“We’re in the middle of the South Luna Sea. It’s been 147 years after Nightmare Moon was kicked off the planet, and at this moment, a ship is heading towards the Kingdom of Tulip.” As if on cue, a crude drawing of a sailing ship approached the class. And on that ship was an awkwardly drawn stallion with a lute in his hooves.

“Who’s that?” Yona inquired.

“Prince Jaufré Rudel of Blaye. He is a trailblazer of something new in the field of love. Not only is he an early Troubadour, but possibly one of the first. Currently, he’s heading off towards modern-day Casaflanka where he hopes to impress his true love – the Countess of Trotpoli. During the several months of sailing, he is spending his time composing songs he hoped to impress his love.”

Mr. Cake raised a hoof. “So… he’s the equivalent of a songwriter?” 

“Kinda, more of a court poet who happens to know how to play an instrument. His poetry is very noticeable when it comes to the history of love. You see, his love was considered radically new at the time because he had fallen in love with a mare that’s thousands of miles away. It was considered deeply impractical because it had nothing to do with foals, money, building dynasties, or any reciprocation whatsoever. However, it did become popular as he codified – what we now know as – the crush side of love.”

“Still,” Mrs. Cake said, “You got to admit that there’s something romantic about it. Having a stallion write all those songs and poems to the one he loves. Did he ever get to meet her?”

“Yes actually,” Discord nodded, “but only once.”

“Why?” Lyra asked. “What happened?”

“By the time he got there, he got sick. So much so that they had to carry him on stretchers. Then when news came to the countess about the prince, she rushed over to where he was. It was written that the guy was very happy to see her.”

“Awe,” went the class.

“Before he died in her arms.”

“Oh…” went the class.

“There’s a reason why I’m bringing this guy up,” Discord added, “because even at this point in the Marevial ages, love was starting to be recognized, but it still wasn’t seen as a reason to be in a serious relationship. The crush soon explodes in popularity because they wanted to remain as pristine as possible – and that was the secret of its success. Because someone like Rudel didn’t get the chance to be near the Countess, they never would have encountered stuff that couples eventually argue about such as where to put up the tapestry or doing household chores.

“Oh and speaking of things that were once separate…” Discord snapped his talons again. 

Fortunately for the students who were getting sick of being two-dimensional, they suddenly found themselves being third dimensional complete with perspective despite being covered in oil paints. This time everything had changed from the Marevial to the Braeque as all around them was a hall of tall white walls, towering windows, mirrors, blue curtains, gilded flourishes, a crystal chandelier, and beautifully detailed paintings that echoed Pegasi mythology on the walls. They were also not alone as the hall of mirrors was crowded with a court of ponies in the finest of clothes of silks, linens, and powdered wigs. All of which circle around a blue table where behind one of which sat a very important looking pony.

“Welcome to Versailles,” Discord announced to his class. “It’s September 14th, 745. On the Prench throne is Louis XV. That’s him over there at that table.” He pointed out. “We are at the King’s Grand Apartment; in particular, this room called the Cabinet du Conseil. And if my timing is right, we are about to witness something that the royal court has been expecting for months now. Ah! Here she comes.” 

The class, along with the entire court, looked on in hushed whispers as a pretty white, unicorn mare with a richly deep blue mane entered. Her cheeks seemed freshly rouged, her wig powdered, and she walked in with grace wearing a black off-the-shoulder dress. An announcement was made in Prench, but in that, a name was spoken: “Jeanne Antoinette Poisson.” She entered solemnly but with a smile on her face as she faced the table where the king sat on the other end, and before him, curtsies three times. 

“Maybe my Prench history is a little rusty.” Shining Armor said allowed, “But what’s going on?”

“I think I have an idea,” Twilight answered, “And I’ve heard of this before. In this time period, Prench Kings have what was called a Maistresse Déclaré, in other words, an official mistress.”

“She’s not just any mistress to the king,” Discord clarified, “from this point on, she will now be known as the official lover of the King with a name some of you may have heard of: Madame de Pompadour.”

“What a charming name.” Fancy commented.

“His wife thinks so too.”

“WHAT!?” exclaimed the entire class in shocked roar.

Discord blinked, “What do you all mean what?”

“Excuse us, partner,” Big Mac raised a hoof before pointing at the king. “So… He’s married?”

“By now… Thirty-five years. Yes.”

“And he’s getting a… mistress?”

“Yep. Not the first nor the last, but yes.”

“So… W-What about his wife?”

Discord tilted his head, “Okay, what about her?”

“Ain’t all this… Ah don’t know… cheating?”

Suddenly, Discord started to laugh. Hard. So much so that he rolled on the floor. Big Mac demanded what he found so funny.

“Sorry, I keep forgetting that you…” he chuckled, “You all don’t know yet. Give me a minute.” After taking in some calming breaths, enough to make him float again, he said, “Look around at the faces, do you see anyone in this court that’s disgusted by this arrangement?”

The students did and saw that the expressions of these nobles from long ago seemed genuinely pleased. Full of smiles and approvals. It took a moment for them to realize it, but Rainbow Dash spoke aloud: “Hang on… You mean they’re all doing this?”

“Give Mrs. Pride Month a prize!” Discord applauded, summoning a plush toy of him into Rainbow’s arms in which she wisely threw away. “Hey, Spoiled, remember the question you asked? Well, here it is. Before the Romantics were born, believe it or not, adultery as we call it was seen more as an annoying but predictable problem. That’s because everyone, from kings to peasants, from the near west to the far east, they all entered a marriage with an idea that you could have either marriage or love – but you can’t have; nor should you mix – both. Ask any of these aristocrats and they will tell you that all marriage is good for is for producing foals, bringing in useful ponies to help out with your business, and more importantly: continuity. Love was what you saved for someone else to have all the drama, excitement, and sexy times with. Around this era, you were practically encouraged to have at least one mistress, and no one will judge you harshly for it. If anything, the more you have, the higher your status is.”

“What about the Queen?” Silverstream inquired. “I mean, with this event here, isn’t she the least bit torn up by it?”

“On the contrary,” Discord smirked, “she helped hoof picked his husband’s mistresses. All of them.” The entire class went silent. “If anything, Louis’s wife isn’t bothered. She’s too busy with reading, playing music, and other court drama to give much of a thought about what her husband is doing. In fact, years later she will pick up a few lovers here and there. The king helped hoofpicked them too.”

“Well…” Cadence said, “at least it’s consensual.”

“Prance,” Trixie, who up until now had been silent, and her mane was wrapped in a towel. “It’s a whole different planet, am I right?”

“Oh, it’s not just here.” Discord informed, “This same attitude and practice has been more widespread than you think. Most courts around the world at this point have been doing the same thing. Even Celestia got in on the action. Literally.”

“What!” Twilight exclaimed. 

“Hey, when you’re a statue in the garden of a may or may not be a deity, you surprisingly pick up on a few things. Sure, Celestia may never been married, but that didn’t mean she didn’t pick up on a few lovers here and there. I mean…” He chuckled, “Why do you think someone as powerful and assassin-proof as she would need all those guards for? Their security is legendarily sucky; and the real reason why they were formed, to begin with, is to give the princess some… how do I put this…? Entertainment.”

“Moving on!” Twilight commanded, her cheeks turning red at the implications.

“Okay, very well.” Discord rolled his eyes. “Now, since I’ve given you the background for what’s to come next, by now you’re probably thinking how we got from this to what we think love should be?” They nodded. “For that, let’s go back to meet someone.”

A snap had the class returned to the gorgeous autumn landscape. However, the class immediately noticed that they were not alone. Sitting on a stump was a figure who had his back against them. It looked like another Discord as if he was playing a part in Pride and Prejudice. From the mood-ring-like overcoat and vest that changed color in the light, to the towering collar and ascot that tied his giraffe-like neck; this copy even had a pair of breaches that covered over his long socks. They also noticed that in his paw he was holding a book, busy reading it, and taking notes with his tail.

“Mares and Gentlecolts,” Discord said, “beginning in the second half of the eighth century was a movement that turned the idea of love on its head. I give you – the Romantic!”

The other Discord closed both books, “Ah! What genius! What glorious majesty is-” The period dressed Discord turned around and took notice of the class. “Oh, hello. Sorry, I didn’t hear you approach.”

“Hello other me!” Discord waved, “What do you got there?”

“This?” The Romantic Discord laughed, “Probably the most influential book about love of all time! Don’t tell me none of you have heard: The Sorrows of Young Werther, have you?” Twilight raised a hoof, “Anyone besides the bookworm?” She lowered her hoof, giving the other Discord a displeased look. “This book has taught me more about what to expect out of love than any other I’ve come across.”

“Oh, do tell,” Discord slunk over to his copy, “mind enlightening us what you’ve learned.”

“Absolutely! This should go out to the whole world because of its brilliance! Let’s see…” Taking up the notes off of his tail, he quickly reviews it for a moment. “Well, I’ve learned many important things. That one wouldn’t need an education in love for one ought to follow one’s heart when they encounter… the one. You will know when you found the love of your life when they have both an inner and outer beauty. All loneness will disappear forever; and therefore, you will never be attracted to anyone else again. What else…? Oh! The right one will understand us immediately and completely, inside and out, without the need for pesky words. There will be no more need to explain anything to them for they will just know instantly.

“Because of this, lovers shall have no more secrets. If you find someone you love, they will accept absolutely everything about you and you with everything with them. Even if you do have to talk, you can finally be fully honest with them and be your authentic self.

“What else…?” He looked through his notes: “Ah yes! Because we will marry by our emotions, we can be deeply hopeful now when it comes to a marriage of passion to be happier rather than icy reason. So much so, that even sex will be satisfying and more frequent than ever. This is because us Romantics think that sex should and can be united for the first time; as it ought to be. Getting to have satisfying sex with someone you genuinely love should be the very height of your romantic commitment with someone. Likewise, not having sex daily or having an affair would spell a heartbreaking, tragic disaster! The likes of which only seen in the Ancient Pegasi tragedy. However, if you do find the one, there shall be no loss of sexual or emotional intensity; even after you have foals. 

“Any mentions of practicalities or money is cold and will kill whatever passion between lovers had. 

“But what else…? Also, our loves will be able to do absolutely and be everything we needed from them: our soulmate, best friend, co-parent, co-chauffeur, accountant, household manager, small business partner, chef, laundress, tailor, maid/butler, assistant, therapist, mind reader, plumber, repairman, technology wizard, landscaper, librarian, gameshow host, masseuse, angel, and spiritual guide.

“In other words, when you find the one, you and they will live happily ever after.”

“Hang on,” Fancy Pants raised a hoof. “Pardon, but are you telling us that all of that; everything that should be common sense when it comes to love came from them?”

“And this idea is about over two-centuries-old,” Discord the Romantic informed, “give or take a few decades.”

“To answer your question,” Discord nodded, “the answer is yes. Everything you think you know what love is about – most likely comes from this time period. It’s no accident that even these ideas go into books that are read to children like… The Brothers Grimm Fairytales for instance have these ideas in one form or another. Everything from walking through the mists in the forests to knights in Shining Armor, to the couple here…” he pointed to Cadence and Shining Armor, “have been influenced by Romanticism. When it comes to love, we are still living in the age of Romanticism.”

Fleur cleared her throat. “Alright, but… what’s wrong with that? I get by the tone that it’s a bad thing.”

Discord started to float over to her. “All of these ideas are beautiful. They work well enough on paper and in romantic novels, movies, comics, even fanfictions. The idea that love should be… lovely is quite a nice idea – except for one itsy, bitsy, tinny little detail that’s often overlooked.”

Fleur tilted her head as Discord surrounded her. “And what’s that?”

“In practice – it doesn’t work.”

“What!” the Romantic Discord objected. “What do you mean it doesn’t work?! Everything I’ve mentioned has been around for centuries.”

“Being culturally ingrained for a long time is not the same as a law of the universe!” Discord argued, “Do you have any idea what-so-ever how much damage these ideas have?”

“You’re the teacher, I thought you knew.”

“And I do. To pull an Adam Ruins Everything,” Discord said, putting on a blond wing on his head. “While all of these things you’ve said sounds good, they tend to overlook a few inconveniences.”

“Such as?” Gallus inquired.

“For example, it should be noted that the folks that came up with the idea of Romanticism: most of them didn’t have a job; and they tend to drop dead when they’re young. If anything, most of them were practically unemployable, which is why they could spend more time in their lover’s arms and take long walks into the woods. (It also explains why no Romantic of any sort has ever mentioned doing any household chores with their lovers such as laundry or arguing where the dishes should go.) Also, since they tend to die pretty young, mostly before they turn forty, their love stories would go as such: they fall in love, get married and – cough, cough – they’re in the coffin with syphilis – cough, hooker, cough! And that’s pretty much it.”

“Just because we died young,” the Romantic Discord folded his arms, pouting, “and that we were turned down from getting a job, doesn’t mean we don’t have anything worth influencing.”

“Maybe so.” Discord said but suddenly paused, “You know what, starting tomorrow, and throughout this week, I’m going to dissect your argument about love through the various stages of it.”

The other Discord tilted his head. “Stages?”

“You know: Single, dating, married, having an affair, leaving the relationship, and doing it all again. I’m going to have you come along too because I have to show you the other thing about why relationships tend to fail.”

“And what’s that?”

Before Discord could answer, an alarm clock was loudly ringing. Holding up a paw, he reached into his chest to pull out an hourglass. “Ah, well looks like our time is up for now.” He turned back to the students. “Tomorrow we’ll be talking about the Single folks. For now, class is dismissed.”

Summoning a paintbrush again, he painted for them the door that they came in through. Soon the students left the reality-defying room – all except for one. 

“You think I should have done it longer?” Discord asked.

Fluttershy shook her head. “I think it’ll be enough for today.”

“Hey… before you go.” Discord rubbed the back of his neck, “I do want to ask if you’re still willing to go through with this class all the way through.”

“Well, I promised that I would.”

“I know, but from the knowledge I’ve gathered, the thing is…” 

Fluttershy went up and put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “It’s okay, take your time to tell me.”

Discord took in several deep, calming breaths. “I know it’s ridiculous but… I’m afraid that we might get to some points where it’ll make you…” He took another deep breath. “Change your mind.”

She hugged him. “I know what I was asking, and I’ve prepared myself for the worst.”

“But-”

“They need to know what you know first. That’s what we agreed on. And I promised that I will attend the class to let me know what I’m going to get myself into. As of now, I have not changed my mind.” She smiled kindly, “So, your turn to host our tea party?”

“I didn’t forget. I’ll see you there.” After the two of them bid each other farewell and Fluttershy left the classroom that Discord’s smile faded into concern. He turned around to face his now frozen counterpart. “I do hope this is a good idea.”