Most ponies grew concerned when Discord was excited. Fluttershy worried when he was quiet.
Such times came more often than most would believe. Yes, Discord was often full of manic energy, conjuring his thoughts into reality and turning every available spotlight on him. (He was still banned from every theater and stadium from Ponyville to Manehattan.) But chaos is all things, and sometimes he ended up spending Tuesday tea deep in thought, an hour or more passing without him saying five words.
"I have to carry the conversation when you're like that," Fluttershy had told him once. "You know that's a bad sign." He'd cackled at the joke, but the truth was that she was happy to let him think, draped on the couch like an especially exotic scarf.
Discord always came out of those lulls with a question on his lips, but there was no telling what it would be or how long he’d stay for the answer. Once he asked “How can I tell that I’m not still trapped in stone and this isn’t all just a pleasant dream I’m making for myself?” and they went long into the night debating the reality of existence. Once, his gaze never shifting from the ceiling, he asked “But why yellow?” and vanished before Fluttershy could say anything in response.
Today, he shook himself out of his rumination like a wet dog, poured himself a tea of cucumber, nibbled a cup sandwich, and said, “Fluttershy, what’s inner peace like?”
She waited a moment, just in case Discord decided that that was enough for this week. When he remained seated, albeit juggling the nouns some more, she said, “Have you been talking with Tree Hugger again?”
“I admit, she is more interesting than I initially gave her credit for. And some of the ideas she’s told me about…" For an eye-watering moment, Discord had a hundred heads and a thousand arms, no two from the same species. He snapped back to normal and continued, "Fascinating belief systems in this world, truly. But this isn’t about Treezie, it’s about you. Tell me, what is inner peace like?”
Fluttershy took a few moments to think about it. She knew Discord could be patient with her. “Well, I suppose it’s being able to sit and know that everything’s right. Like the…" She frowned. "Oh, this won’t be helpful for you, but it’s the best way I can think of it.”
He grinned and waved her on. “Go ahead. You know how I feel about things needing to make sense.”
“Well, I suppose it would be the feeling that comes from getting your cutie mark stretched out for a whole lifetime. That serenity and connection with the world and awareness of your place in it…" Fluttershy sighed as she imagined it. "Oh, it must be lovely.”
“‘Must be’?" Discord quirked an eyebrow. Today, that meant it developed froglike properties. "A surprising turn of phrase from somepony who’s had firsthoof experience.”
“Huh?”
“Well, look at you!" Discord thrust his arms at Fluttershy, then cast them wide to take in the whole cottage. Enormous, thin panels fell into place around the pair and displayed Fluttershy's friends, both speaking creatures and animals. "Your every aspiration met and then some. The ear of the reigning princess! A revolutionary wildlife sanctuary! Connections in fashion, fungineering, and the military-athletic complex!" Discord paused as he considered one screen that displayed nothing but apple trees. "And whatever it is Applejack does. Your life’s purpose couldn’t be more fulfilled." After a beat, he turned to her, an eager grin on his muzzle. "Could it?”
Fluttershy gave him a flat look, though she couldn't completely hold back the smile. “Discord, you’re never going to get me to agree to erase Zephyr from existence.”
“What?" He drew back, screens vanishing as a halo lit up above his head. It immediately got snagged on his antler and went lopsided. "Come now, who said anything about that rare bit of poor judgement on your parents’ part? We’re talking about you here.”
“Well, it’s very flattering that you think so, but I don’t really know how inner peace feels.”
“Seriously? You?" Discord bent down and took Fluttershy's forehooves in his own front appendages. "What could possibly bother you?” He glared off to the side. "Be specific."
Fluttershy shook her head. “Discord. This is me we’re talking about.”
“Yes! Fluttershy!" He sprang up. Irregularly shaped stained glass windows burst into being around him, all portraying her in a range of styles from near-photorealistic to incredibly abstract. "Bearer and Avatar of Kindness! All-forgiving, all-welcoming, serene mistress of forgiveness! Living refutation of the Cloudsdalian ideal, a role model for pegasi everywhere trying to break out of stultifying tribal roles!”
“And the mare who still needs a night light some nights." Fluttershy flew up to be face to face with Discord and put a hoof on his shoulder. "I know I’ve done a lot of incredible things, and I’ve certainly grown more confident over time. But that sort of thing never goes away completely. I still worry about expenses for the sanctuary and my friends drifting apart and…” She trailed off, looking away.
Mismatched arms wrapped around her. There was no sight gag, no incongruous noise, just Discord looking at her with concern. “And?”
Fluttershy shut her eyes. “And what you’ll do when I’m gone.”
“Ah.” And he didn’t say what they both knew. He could take away the worry. He had offered, during those first few tea parties where his sudden appearance had made Fluttershy hide behind the furniture. But she had refused, because it wouldn’t have been her he’d be befriending, just another pony puppet he twisted into a more pleasing state.
He told her he could take away other things too. Maybe even mortality. He didn’t know; he’d never tried. But that had the same problem, and so many others.
After a much less comfortable silence than normal, Fluttershy said, “So I’m sorry, Discord. I can’t really tell you what inner peace is like.”
He forced out a laugh. “Well, it’d probably kill me if I ever found out. Imagine, me, all tranquil and serene and so forth." He set her back in her chair and patted her mane before settling back on the couch, a smile so roughly plastered on his muzzle that bits dripped on the cushions. "If I didn’t wink out of existence because of the inherent lack of chaos, I’d probably die of boredom.”
Fluttershy didn't say anything, just nodding along.
Discord's speech grew more natural as he went on. “So, if inner peace is out—and good riddance, frankly—what can you tell me about inner Fluttershy?”
She blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“Don’t be! I’ve heard all about the ways you’ve bent your mind and body into exciting and innovative new forms." He turned himself into a duplicate of the memory album they'd all given Twilight, save for his face on the cover. He opened himself and flipped through images of Fluttershy as a vampire fruit bat pony, Fluttershy as the clerks in Rarity for You, Fluttershy as the Saddle Rager... "Mostly from Pinkie Pie. Do you think any of them are still lying around?”
“I… I, uh…" Fluttershy's mouth worked silently as she tried to work through her shock. "Maybe?”
A burst of light, and Discord was his usual shape, the size of Angel Bunny, and dangling from her forelock. “Mind if I go find out for myself?”
“Um… sure?”
He beamed. “Fantastic! A voyage it is.” And with that, Discord squirmed into Fluttershy's ear.
“Oh my,” she said before her eyes rolled back and her body slumped in the chair.