//------------------------------// // Chapter 21: Tale of Two Sisters Part 2 // Story: Marshmallow Dreams // by Halira //------------------------------// I decided to just go to sleep at my normal time that night. My talk with my mom gave me some idea of what Lántiān must have been feeling. I thought back to the story Miss Seapony told me years before about her own sister, and I couldn't help wondering… how could she do the same thing to her own daughter that her parents had done to her? Miss Seapony was always so nice to me. She'd always been there for me. Why had she been there for me and not Lántiān? I knew about the whole sleep schedule thing, but for the past seven or so years Miss Seapony had always been in the dream realm. She should have been able to spend just as much time with Lántiān as she did with me.  After I fell asleep I immediately found myself in an unfamiliar place, and not one of my making. It was some sort of shipping location. There were those huge metal containers everywhere, those ones that were put on train cars or loaded high on ships. Everywhere I looked was more of them, some stacked several containers high. Most of them had Chinese writing on them, but there was also writing in English, German, Russian, Italian or Spanish (I had a hard time telling the difference), Arabic, and I even saw one with Equestrian writing. It must have been a port, although I couldn't tell for sure unless I flew up and looked around.  "This is where it happened. This is where I died." I turned and saw Miss Seapony, only she was in her night pony form, the one with the dark orange fur and the scarlet mane. She even had her cutie mark exposed instead of censoring it (the silhouettes of a night pony being sexually mounted by an earth pony, one of the most graphic and least subtle cutie marks I had ever seen or heard of). She was sitting and looking around at our surroundings with her ears hanging low.  "This is where I set myself on fire. I'd anticipated something might have gone wrong, and had a friend give me something to do it with if it came down to it. I'd hoped that the worst would be having to use that flame to distract the people chasing us, or to create a temporary barrier, but there were too many. I couldn't let them get my foals." I walked over to her, ears flat and wings stiff. "Miss Seapony, why does Lántiān think you love me but not her? Why didn't you ever tell me about her. Are there more foals of yours out there that hate me too?" Miss Seapony chuckled. "Mister Potty-Mouth should be happy, he always complains you don't get angry often enough." Her moment of mirth abruptly ended just as fast as it had come, and she stared at me with sad eyes. "Lántiān is mistaken. I love her very much. I love you as well, and would give my life for either of you. However, and don't take this too badly, if I was put in the impossible position where I could only save one of you, I'd save her. She is my daughter, and though you're like a daughter to me, she is the genuine article." It was fair that she should put her real daughter first, but hearing I'd lose if she was forced to make a choice between us still hurt. Although Lántiān must have felt that a choice had been made already, and she had come out the loser in that. "You didn't answer why she thinks that." My oldest friend and mentor shook her head. "No, I didn't. My daughter's thoughts and feelings are her own, and they are private. They're not for me to share with you. I can't answer your question the way you want me to do. It is against my oaths to do so. If you become a Dreamwarden you'll understand. It isn't even a choice I can make." "You have to be able to tell me something!" I objected. "You can tell me what you did. How you treated her compared to how you treated me, and you can tell me why you did that. Those things are your secrets, not hers." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Very well, though don't make assumptions and treat them as facts based on this information." "I'll try not to," I replied, and plopped my butt down so I could listen.  She looked around again and then laid down. "You need to understand some things about Lantiān growing up here in China, all my foals really, but her especially since the others weren't old enough to be fully exposed to things. I wasn't a nobody who could be ignored, I was a Dreamwarden. They courted me, provided me with the best housing, food, all I could ever ask for. My foals were put into the best schools. In terms of material things my situation was even better than when I was a child, but it was a far more dangerous position to be in. "What I said and did were always watched by the government," she continued. "By extension, everything my foals said and did were watched as well. I love them all, but if I had been open about things to them it would have been inevitable one of them would let something slip. Then the government would have come down on us. It was better to keep them in the dark, to keep us all safe." She gave her head a regretful shake. "Lantiān grew up for years under the false pretense that everything was fine. She was taught the government's lies as facts, and I did not reward her for learning her lessons well. I just distanced myself from her. When she got a little older, and a little more mature, I started trying to talk to her about how I disagreed with things she'd been taught. We fought, quite a bit, about those things. Perhaps I should have spoken up sooner, but it seemed too risky. My love for her was no less, but my years of silence had built a wall between us. In time, everything became an argument with her." "In the meantime you were out treating me with all the love and approval she'd always wanted," I interjected.  She nodded. "Oh, yes, that was definitely going on. There was more to it than that though. I always kept her from the dream realm. To this day she cannot dreamwalk, only my one night pony foal can. She's asked when she was younger, and I denied her." I gasped. "What? Why? You're part of the dream realm, you and the dream realm are inseparable from one another. Not letting them dreamwalk is like pushing them away from you." "I'm not sure if you realize this yet, Rebecca, but being close to a Dreamwarden is dangerous business. You will be seeing Miss Nightmares… Phobia tomorrow. You'll get to see more of her family when you visit. Take note of what you witness and ask yourself, do you want that kind of life for your loved ones? We're keeping your identity from going public if you join our ranks, so your loved ones won't face the same dangers, but my identity, like Phobia's, was public, and the impact on our families is very real." "Refusing to let her dreamwalk doesn't change anything about that," I countered. "Why wouldn't you give her the ability." She sat still for several long seconds before replying. "If I was being honest with myself, I was just wanting her to live a life separated from mine. I didn't want to put expectations on her that she'd be like me. I didn't want her to be like me. And finally, and this is selfish, I didn't want her to hear things other dreamwalkers may have said about me. Bad things happened in the early days of the Dreamwardens, and I didn't want her to hear about those and think of me as a monster." "Lantiān isn't a foal, she's a grown adult, older than me. She should be allowed to hear those things and make her own decision," I replied, then gave an irritated flap of my wings. "Why does she even know about me if you are so secretive with your foals? Not that I think that I should have been kept secret, but it seems inconsistent that she should be allowed to know if you're so bound and determined not to tell them anything." "It was a mistake on my part," Miss Seapony whispered. "In the days that followed my death she demanded answers. It was a very hard time for us all. I owed it to her to tell her why I made the decisions that led to my death. She was still young, still of high school age, but she'd been raising her siblings much of the time to that point, and had a filly of her own. She was a young mare forced to be an adult too soon, but I was going to treat her like an adult. Anything else would be an insult. I told her what my plans had been, and that included the training of you." One of my ears sagged. "And she didn't take it well, I guess." "That's private information." I huffed. "I want to request to speak with her, here with you, right now. Can you ask her if she's willing to speak with the two of us, if she's asleep?" Her eyes went wide, and for the first time ever I thought I saw a small flicker of fear in those eyes. Miss Seapony, this immortal with powers and knowledge beyond comprehension, was scared of having to face me and her daughter together.  She turned her face away from me. "Very well. Hold a moment while I present your request. You'll know your answer shortly." I sat and waited. The conversation could have continued, since Miss Seapony was capable of holding hundreds, if not thousands, of different conversations at once and they'd all be as if she was giving them her undivided attention (even if the attention was divided so much it would be impossible for anyone else to possibly follow half of what was going on). I didn't want my unexpected nemesis to show up in the middle of me talking, and Miss Seapony could read my intent and wishes.  It seemed like the silence stretched on forever as she talked to Lantiān. I wondered what was being said. Just because I was typically cheerful and tried to be friends with everyone didn't mean I couldn't read what was going on with others. It couldn't have been Lantiān just saying yes, otherwise she'd already be talking to me. It couldn't have been a no either, since Miss Seapony would have just told me so and left it at that. That meant it was a negotiation, perhaps with angry words being exchanged.  Eventually, Lantiān appeared. This time around she wasn't wearing those weird pants (seriously, what pegasus just casually wears yoga pants around in public?). Her previously hidden cutie mark turned out to be the red and yellow stylized sun peaking out from behind a cloud. That mark basically basically screamed 'Shimmerist' and I wondered if that was the reason she had it hidden under a garment previously.  Her eyes followed mine to her flank, and she turned back to me with a scowl. "Don't mention my mark to anyone at school. It's private." I blinked in confusion. "I learned about it in a dream, so I'm not allowed to talk about it without your permission anyway. I've got a human mom and dad, who I love very much, so I don't like it, but why hide it? There's still plenty of ponies that wouldn't have any problem with it, and those of us who don't like it wouldn't get rude with you or anything because of it." She snapped her wings out and then shut. "Just don't! It's my mark and none of your business. What do you want?"  "I just wanted to clear the air between us, and try to understand why Miss- why your mom treated you so differently than me," I explained. "She can't tell me what you're thinking. You have to tell me your side of things." She began to pace back and forth. "I don't have to tell you anything. I'm assuming you interrogated her. I'm assuming you aren't as dumb as you look, although you look pretty dumb. She loved some rollie-pollie pegasus from America more than she loved me! I told you I shouldn't even be mad at you, because it isn't your fault she treated you that way and treated me like the unloved stepchild. Clearly you don't have much going for you to earn that love. Maybe I wasn't chubby enough. It was her choice though, not yours." "Lantiān! Since when are you so cruel?" Miss Seapony demanded in outrage. "Name calling? Putting others down? I didn't raise you that way, and neither did the guardian I gave you." Lantiān turned and sneered at her mother. "I'll apologize, because Ma'am would be disappointed in me if she heard me saying such things. I'm beyond caring if you're disappointed in anything." She looked over her shoulder at me. "I'm sorry. I have a hard time not directing my anger at you, but that's no excuse." "Um, whose Ma'am?" I asked.  She turned back fully towards me. "The pony who had been appointed my guardian. Before you ask, I understand that's an odd way to refer to her when she is not here. It's something personal between me and her that I don't expect others to understand. It's not intended to be rude towards her, in case you're wondering." "Um… okay," I said slowly. "So whoever Ma'am is she's like your second mother, right?" She nodded. "I don't quite see it that way, but I don't find it completely wrong for you to suggest it. I'm no longer in her care, but we call each other often and sometimes visit. I'm actually attending the school in Skytree partially on her suggestion." "What's the other parts?" I asked curiously, hoping to try to settle her down with more casual conversation.  "I am an art student, and it is an art school," she said briskly, then narrowed her eyes. "And I learned you were in Skytree." Oh dear, that seemed ominous. So much for casual conversation. "You- you wanted to run into me?" She flicked her tail. "I don't know, honestly. Maybe?" She paused and seemed to grapple with what to say next. "You… you're the pony that my mother always devoted attention to. The one she took the time to show pride in your accomplishments. I always felt like… " Miss Seapony cleared her throat and we both looked towards her. "That's always been your problem. You do things seeking approval from me, rather than what is good for you." Lantiān jerked her head up and flattened her ears. "Is it wrong of me to want your approval and love!" Miss Seapony shook her head. "You always had my love, and still do. What I can't approve of is you doing things just to get my approval. Continue on, explain it to her." Lantiān looked like she had been struck, but turned to me slowly again. "I found out that you were an artist, so I took up art so I could show I could be better at it than you." I stepped back. "But, I never wanted to compete with you. I didn't even know about you. If you don't have any particular love of art you shouldn't be trying to do it as a career. You can't be happy that way." "I'm happy with my career choice," she snapped. I blinked, and she softened her expression. "Let me explain. It started off being about you, but it turned into something of my own. My art reflects me, and my experiences. I may have learned how to draw because I wanted to outdo you, but now I use it to express myself." This was getting a little better. "I'd like to see some of it sometime. If that's okay. I love seeing what other people make." "If you think of a particular piece I can conjure an image of it from your memory," Miss Seapony announced.  Lantiān stared at her mother for a moment and licked her lips nervously. "Alright. I'm thinking of one. My favorite one." As soon as she finished speaking our black expanse of nothing (I hadn't even noticed when the setting had changed to an empty expanse, I was too focused on Lantiān and her mother) now had a massive painting high above it. I recognized the setting right away; it was the front of the Forbidden Palace in Beijing. I'd seen pictures of it before. It was set at sunset, and there were lots of humans walking around outside it. They were all just silhouettes and shadows, nameless black shapes upon the canvass. There were two humans that were standing to the side, the only ones standing still, and the only ones given detail. It was a woman and a little girl in plain looking clothes you could find on any human bundled up for winter up north. The woman held the girl's hand and pointed to the palace with the other. The girl looked up at the palace with pure wonder on her face, and stood pressed against her mother as she looked on. The shades of the entire painting were dark, with deep oranges and nighttime colors that did justice to the coming evening, but those two humans, even standing to the side, were filled with brightness that made them the focus of the piece, even as the palace filled most of the view.  "It's very pretty. I love what you did with the colors, and the contrast between the shadowy figures and the woman and child, and how you made them the focus even when they take up so little space," I said as I gazed up at the painting. I wasn't exaggerating, it was gorgeous to look at. "My art is typically all bright and colorful, with fantastical settings, but you capture a lot of feeling with this that mine can't do. I should take tips from you." "Thank you, I am very proud of this one, and it is very special to me," she replied softly. I could hear tears in her voice.  "It is very special. It is my favorite as well, in terms of any art," Miss Seapony whispered, just loud enough for us to hear. Lantiān and I turned to her and saw her looking up at the art with a faraway look. "I remember this day, and I was surprised that you did. You were so young, and it was before ETS, back when it was just you and me. You were so mystified by the things I showed you, the things from our heritage. I think that was when you first developed pride in it. Yet, it is our personal heritage that is the focus of this painting, mother and daughter during simpler times." "Back when you had pride in me," Lantiān said bitterly. "I am proud of this painting, and so many other things," Miss Seapony whispered again. "You assume I'm not, but I am." "You never say so!" Lantiān hissed with a snap of her wings. "Are you just trying to make yourself look good in front of her?" "Miss Seapony…" I said timidly. I didn't like calling out a friend, but I didn't like that Lantiān felt so hurt either. "I believe you if you say you're proud of her, but you don't sound proud. You just sound sad. You don't sound as if you're taking her feelings seriously either. I mean- you started to sound maybe a little proud when you talked about the painting, or maybe more like you were wistful, but now you're pulling away again. Why is it so hard for you to show you're proud of her?" "Because she isn't!" Lantiān snarled, then spat on the ground.  My oldest friend looked straight at her daughter. "Let me tell you how we got to this point. We had been living in slums for years, barely staying off the streets. Soon after the Dreamwardens made themselves public our government back in China gave us a wonderful place to stay. They put you in the very best school. If there was anything we could ask for they would provide it. For a while, things seemed to be going well. You remember this?" Lantiān nodded. "Yes, I remember. I even remember telling you how much I wanted to be a weather pony, and you encouraging me. You hadn't changed towards me yet, but you did." "Yes, I did," Miss Seapony confessed. "The Shimmerists soon started coming to power. China saw the future full of magic, and magic meant ponies. They believed to dominate the future China must become all ponies. I love my homeland, I taught you to love it too, but it is not always the best place in some regards. You can't be important there and speak up against the government. There are consequences to this, severe ones. They started teaching you the most wretched things in school, and I had to keep silent. They couldn't hurt me, not directly, but they could hurt you. You sat and repeated their propaganda, and I had to keep my mouth shut. I grew distant from you, and I am sorry for that." "That was years ago! I haven't lived in China since- since you- you know what happened. Things are different now, but you are still unchanged from then," Lantiān struggled to protest.  "We had already set ourselves against each other by then," Miss Seapony whispered. "I remember the point we both turned on one another. I was so disappointed you were having a foal because the government told you that it was your duty. It was cold of me, but I couldn't believe you were treating yourself like some horse to be bred. We fought so much about it. It was the first time I ever dared to contradict the government directly." "It seemed hypocrisy coming from you. You had me at a similar age," Lantiān fired back.  Miss Seapony grit her teeth. "I was a child on the streets selling her body for food and shelter. I should never have rightfully had you so young. I wanted better for you. I could have even accepted it if you were out having sex for fun and something happened. No, you let yourself be told you were stock to be bred and expected me to be happy you accepted this as your lot in life. I was not proud, I was furious that you thought so little of yourself. What made it worse was you thought that doing that would please me. It was partly about getting my approval by doing so well at what they wanted. Where was my little filly who dreamed of busting clouds? They took her from me." "This coming from a courtesan," Lantiān snarled. "Or should I use Ma'am's word for you? Whore."  I tried to think of how to rescue this situation, but they weren't going to give me time to think. "Whore is the right word, and don't be afraid to say it," Miss Seapony snapped back. "Yeah, I chose to keep that job after I could have put it behind me. It is what I am. I took pride in my ability to please clients, and loved the pleasure. It was not what you were though, and not something you would take the same pleasure in. Tell me now, with full honesty, that you would want that for your life." The blue pegasus mare kept silent and my mentor smirked. "I didn't think so. You still defended that decision, and we fought. I grew more distant from you and you grew more angry with me." "You could have been the bigger mare. I was a foal." "A foal who had been raising her brothers for me for years. A foal who thought herself old enough to have a foal," Miss Seapony reminded her, then looked down. "But… you're right. I could have done better. I am a creature of passion, and although I give warning about the dangers that come with it, I myself am the prime example of what I am warning against. I'm sorry, I failed you in that." Lantiān seemed like she wanted to yell back, but instead looked up at the painting and took a deep breath."Why didn't you ever tell me you loved this painting?"  Miss Seapony looked taken aback. "You never shared it with me." The pegasus glared back at her. "You see into my head. You knew about it." "Until you give me permission your private thoughts are your own, and I must act as if I don't know them. You do that too, assume that because I must know that I can act on it. You'd never behave in such a way if I weren't a Dreamwarden. You never treat me as just your mother," Miss Seapony reminded her.  "Miss Seapony, you're starting to do it again," I warned. She looked at me then back to her daughter. "You have never given me that permission, and I never really wanted to do things as a Dreamwarden towards you. Yes, I knew about it. Yes, I do indeed love it." Lantiān's mouth dropped open as she stared at her mother. She mouthed something I couldn't follow and then turned to me. "I need to thank you. Your presence here has changed the- let's say the dynamic of conversation." She turned back to her mother. "I'm giving you full permission to discuss and respond to my thoughts with me now, and anytime going forward. You're a Dreamwarden, and trying to pretend you're not with me is not helping anything. My mother is a Dreamwarden, and all her choices were impacted by that. It's about time I got to talk to her rather than the phoney you keep rolling out in front of me." Miss Seapony frowned. "Very well. If you choose to do this then that's your right. Only a few have granted me such free access. You may choose to take it back anytime in the future." She then looked at me. "Rebecca, I'll be sending you back to your own dreams now. What is discussed here is between me and my daughter. Her thoughts are still private, and you don't have a right to them." I was disappointed, but figured that was coming. "I understand." "Hey!" Lantiān called out. "I will speak with you later about how this conversation went. I feel guilty for the way I treated you, and would like to start fresh." I smiled back at her. "I'd like that." And the next thing I knew they were gone, and I was dreaming about trying to fly to the top of a giant tree that kept getting taller, while a white dragon sat atop it demanding to know why I was trying to fly so high.