Johan was sitting inside a furniture store with a look of annoyance on his face. After months of saving up spare pennies and change, he finally had enough money to buy himself a recliner or some other kind of comfortable chair. The problem was however, that he couldn't figure out which one to get!
"Uhhh... let's see... A leather recliner would be good in winter and stuff... but during the summer that shit burns..." He mumbled to himself, before turning over to look at a cloth recliner. "Cloth would be nice year round... but not as comfortable... hmm...."
His eyes suddenly widened. "Wait a minute. Ponies don't eat meat. Where the hell do they get the leather from?"
His mind went to the fur trappers of the wild west. You know the ones. The one who hunted buffalo only for their fur, didn't touch the meat and almost made them extinct.
Johan shook his head, deciding to take a more optimistic approach for once and assume that the leather was purchased from like... gryphon hunters or something. They ate meat right?
"Well I guess that settles it. Cloth it is." Johan did a heel turn and walked up to the counter, plopping a sack of bits in front of the clerk. They were a massive brown draft horse with a black mane. They looked big enough that it needed to bend down to enter through any door. Johan would be lying if he didn't feel more than a little intimidated by it.
"Yes, hello! I would like to purchase that recliner in the back please." Johan said with a small smile.
The Clerk wasn't looking, he was currently embroiled with reading a large catalog of future furniture he could get in his shop. It didn't seem to slow him down though, as he expertly, counted the bits up, gave Johan his change, and the receipt.
"There you are, thank you for shopping at Mustang's Recliners. Between you and me, please don't shop at quills and sofas. I heard they stuff their pillows full of quills instead of normal feathers. It must get ink all over the place." The stallion, presumably named Mustang, said.
"Uh... thanks. Anyway you can help me get this thing to my house? The sign outside said you do free installations and well, I am kinda weak..." Johan said shrinking a little as the stallion stood up, dwarfing him immensely.
"Certainly, I'm sorry I almost forgot about tha..." Mustang than noticed for the first time who he was talking to. His eyes instantly narrowed. "I remember you..."
"O-oh y-you do?" Johan said, sweat pooling at his brow. His legs suddenly became shaky as the stallion angrily peered at him.
"Yes. You were at the store the day before yesterday! As I remember, you acted like a ginormous Class A jerk when all everyone wanted to do was ask you a couple questions about Derek." Mustang bent down, his face an inch away from Johan's. "Sorry to say, but I don't help jerks who hurt people's feelings."
Johan blinked a couple times, stuttering for words. "B-b-but..." Johan stammered, before the stallion suddenly grabbed him.
He hoisted the little deer over his back with little trouble, marched out, and threw him out of the shop. The deer sailed for a couple meters before skidding to a halt in a small crater in the middle of the dirt roads of Ponyville.
Mustang then marched out, carrying the recliner Johan had just purchased. The little deer flinched, expecting the massive stallion to throw the chair at him, but instead they simply put the chair down in front of him.
Mustang dusted off his hooves before walking back inside and slamming the door behind him.
Thicket twitched several times as he tried to stand up. "Owie..."
Johan grunted as, with all his strength, he tried to drag his new chair but no matter he did it wouldn't budge.
"Ahhhhhh!" He shouted as he put even more and more force into his pull. Instead he lost his footing and fell to the ground with a thud.
Johan cried out in frustration was he collapsed onto his back. Suddenly the couch levitated into the air. The deer quickly sat up, seeing the recliner wrapped in a white aura as it rather eerily floated above him.
Johan quickly turned to see a unicorn stallion staring down at him. It was no ordinary unicorn however. It's coat was a beautiful platinum white, his hair was a short cyan mane in a very... civilized look. His eyes were a similar sparkling platinum in color. He wore a suit of armor that was made of platinum just like his coat. There was so much platinum colored stuff on this guy that his name was actually somewhat obvious. Platinum Shine.
Platinum Shine smiled down at Johan as he stepped forwards. "Hey there. Need some help?"
Johan simply screamed in response and tried desperately to scamper to his feet. He knew exactly who this guy was! He was one of the greatest villains on the planet! Derek even saw him as his worst enemy!
"Hey hey hey! Calm down!" Platinum said in a surprisingly concerned voice. A wall of white magic suddenly appeared in front of Johan.
"No! Derek told me this would happen one day! A villain was going to try to kidnap or murder me to get back at Derek! Well I am not going to go down without a fight!" Johan suddenly turned around and charged at Platinum, antlers down with all the force of an angry deer.
Platinum merely sighed and raised a hoof. Johan ran forehead first into the hoof. He was stopped in his tracks. He kept charging though, his hooves digging into the dirt road even though he wasn't going anywhere.
"Look. Bud." Platinum said looking down at Johan. "First of all, I literally don't know who you are."
Johan stopped running and blinked in confusion. The deer looked up at Platinum. "B-b-but I am like... Derek's best friend or... something."
"And?"
That was a first. People usually knew exactly who he was. Well. Kinda. Usually they just knew him because he was friends with Derek, obviously.
"Secondly," Platinum took his hoof back and stepped back. "I've given up on villainy."
"W-what? But you were like... the best villain ever!" Johan suddenly shouted, throwing his arm up. "Last time you fought Derek you literally broke his arm!"
Platinum sighed and looked down. "Let me guess, now you are going to call me a monster?"
"Hell no! That was awesome!" Johan shouted, throwing his hooves in the air. "You were the first dude to ever pop that self righteous piece of crap's bubble and it was the best!"
Johan quickly realized what he said and quickly shut up, covering his mouth with his hooves.
"... Sounds like you and your 'best friend have some... problems..." Platinum said with a light frown.
"Yeah..." Johan replied looking down guiltily.
There was a couple minutes of awkward silence
"So uh... Do you want my help moving this chair or... what?" Platinum asked looking up at it.
"Oh, please do!" Johan cried in relief.