-Las Pegasus, Sekhet’s and Baast’s hotel room, Jade-
“Well it's going well for your sisterly bonding, but we need you to keep Luna away from the shopping mall. I don’t care if the rest of the food court goes down, she’s kind of ruining our honeymoon.” Wanting to be quite honest, I was sorely tempted to plot Luna’s downfall to be worse than Nightmare Moon. “We’re too polite, not to mention weak, to confront her about it. Also I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Can you two keep her off of us?”
“Sure thing Jade, but you will owe me a few no punishment riddles.” Huh, that was far nicer than Sekhet usually was.
“You should really bring Celestia here to help!” Going to ignore Baast’s continued attempts to get her sister some tail. “I bet you’d want to empty the folds of her calzone afterwards sister.”
“If you can do something to stop my sister from making lewd food remarks, I’ll actually owe you ten favors.” Sekhet kind of just threw that out there, I actually pondered on it.
“Nah, it’s too funny to see her come up with more.” Surprisingly the only thing I got for saying that was a sigh and halfhearted glare.
“Yeah, why would you want to stop me when you want Celestia to put cheese in your quesadilla?” It seemed like Baast wasn’t ever really going to stop needling her sister endlessly. “Or would you rather be the one to put some condiments in her hayburger?”
“I’m sorry to say this, but I’m glad she’s not my sister Sekky.” The upset sphinx rolled her eyes at me.
“We’ll keep Luna busy.” Grabbing her smaller cat sized sister with an alicorn sized paw, Sekhet left us to go to the half destroyed international food court.
We set out for the shopping mall with hope in our hearts that nothing could ruin our day.
We soon found out that having hope was a bad idea.
-Ten minutes, Shopping Mall, Maries-
“Well…” Started Mara
“We’re…” Marie continued.
“Here.” Maria finished.
A two floor shopping mall with one entrance it was pretty big and had all kinds of things to peruse and buy, not sure what we could possibly want though. We had everything we needed right here with us.
We were cautiously optimistic that things would go well, we could watch Jade and Fizzy shop for clothing or other trinkets and souvenirs. Maybe buy some fun board games or a new version of ‘Ogres and Oubliettes’ with Skelly in it, at least us playing a board game would make sense as we will always have at least three players.
“Okay Luna is, hopefully enough and knock on all the wood in the world, occupied.” Yeah, Jade had a reason to be grouchy after yesterday, she really likes swimming.
“It’s okay Jade, we’ll have some fun shopping and then we’ll try to find something to eat that Luna hasn’t outright destroyed.” Looking about with her eyes narrowed, Fizzy seemed to be quite cautious. “Nothing should go wrong today, thanks in part to divine intervention.”
“I’m so thankful that you used the word ‘should’ instead of saying something worse Fizzy.” The soonest Jade had said that an arrow struck the ground nearby, it was followed by a toothpick sized javelin, an axe, a knife and the sound of war horns. “Oh come on, that shouldn’t have been enough to invoke something like… wow… that’s… that’s a lot of puks...”
We turned our heads in the direction Jade was looking when she froze up. She wilted and we felt like wilting ourselves at the sight. Fizzy trotted up next to us, her face hardened at the sight and she widened her eyes, her mouth became firmly set as she grit her teeth.
There were thousands of pukwudgies and they looked ready for war.
There was the bog standard pukwudgies and the common nuisance of kilted highland pukwudgies that were seen around Airship Mauled.
There were also, armored medieval pukwudgies, blade and bow wielding samurai pukwudgies, Viking pukwudgies with axe launchers on wheeled ships, tribal pukwudgies with toothpick blow dart shooters, steampunk pukwudgies with small clockwork vehicles, flying pixie pukwudgies and pugilist pukwudgies with comically oversized boxing gloves on their arms.
We have never realized how many pukwudgies there were in the world until we saw them all gathered together like this pointed towards the mall.
“Why today of all days?!” We all despaired as one, not only us, but our herd mates as well.
“Jade… plan… make one… quick!” The narrow eyed Fizzy stated as the pukwudgies started to aggressively march on the shopping mall.
“Get into the shopping mall and barricade the doors to buy time?” Quite a few ponies and a few other beings listened to Jade’s suggestion and started hastily flooding into the mall. “Also someone can go for help?”
Quite a few griffons took off and one was shot down, a few ponies grabbed them and started to move them towards the doors. A few pegasus ponies and griffons managed to get out of range.
Those of us that were stuck being on the ground were not as lucky to be able to fly away. Jade still had some time to use some magical alchemy to fly away, she always has at least one flight ability on her, but we seriously doubted that she’d abandon us.
Our herd slowly back up towards the mall.
“Gabbah-Gabbah, Gabbah-Gah!” One Pukwudgie yelled pointing at us with an evil look in its beady little malicious eyes.
We got behind the doors and several unicorns cooperated together to put up heavy magical barriers around them as the pukwudgies reached them and started attacking vicisouly.
It wouldn’t keep them out forever and we turned to Jade who looked like she was trying to think.
We used our body as a seat for her as she continued considering our options of how to deal with several huge contingents of pukwudgies all at once, we didn’t exactly have the numbers or capable fighters to take down nearly that many Pukwudgies.
We personally could probably take… a few hundred of them down before they completely swarmed us.
“Okay, I got it! We need multiple pegasi volunteers that can work with lightning clouds, we also need some that know how to make fog or at least mist. If we don’t have that, then at least find a few unicorn volunteers that can levitate some water. We need lots of water, metal bars like baseball bats, golf clubs and crowbars, mostly long and straight pieces of metal.” As soon as Jade stood up and slapped her right fist into her left palm, everyone scrambled to get the stuff she needed. “We also need a lot of mirrors from the nearest mirror store, also anything plastic or metal that can be used for makeshift armor!”
Jade had a plan, it would be prudent if we all try to implement it as quickly as possible. The unicorns at the doors were slowly draining themselves holding the mass of pukwudgies back from attacking them.
“Will this plan involve us getting seriously injured?” It seemed Fizzy had some reservations after the whole ‘Stochastic’ thing.
“No, nobody will get hurt, though casualties are guaranteed even if things don’t go wrong.” Jade motioned for us to get closer to her and we did so, what brilliant plan does she have this time. “So let me tell you how we’re getting out of this situation…”
-Thirty minutes into the siege of the Las Pegasus Shopping Mall, outside said mall, A Pukwudgie-
We are the many, we are the annoying, we are the spiny and aggressive, we come when talked about…
We… are legion!
I stand among my brothers as they attacked the magical fortification at the gate awaiting for it to fall, it was only a matter of time. Our brethren from all over the world have gathered here as a sort of vacation, the only vacation any of our number could ever need!
We sought the thrill of combat, the taste of treasures, we were not going to be held back by the creatures that never saw us coming.
More axes rained down on the doors from the axe throwers of the Viking Tribe, they are the most resilient of us all aside from the Medieval Tribe’s armor.
The most skilled are the Samurai Tribe with their bows and weapons.
The most mobile the Pixie Tribe, their ability to fly is far better than Breezies. Most creatures are better flyers than those tiny four legged ones. Our Pixie Tribe brethren are only half the size of any other, but they make up for it with their bug like wings and aerial superiority among our kind.
Highland Tribe would never stop coming once they have an enemy to feud with, their generations are venerable for their never ending quest to ruin someone’s days at the merest mention of them.
The Tribal Tribe was waiting in anticipation for the barriers to fall, they were the best tribe at taking down singular large predators. Their weapons and armor came from nature, they were all specialized in making sickness remedies, poisons for their blow gunners and could heal almost any injury a Pukwudgie could have.
Truly, we were almost done breaking the barrier the pesky horned four legged ones have set up, the most powerful of our attacks from the Steaming Metal Tribe launching fireballs from their moving scrap piles.
A few more fireballs hit the barricade and it soon busts wide open.
Our war leaders shouts a battle cry of our various peoples, despite our differences we were all one united together for one purpose…
To be as annoying and evil as possible towards all sentient, sapient or otherwise forms of life as the malevolent aggressive beings we were born to be!
We also like stealing as many sugary goods and resources as we can, especially the sugary goods as we can never have enough of those.
Too bad that the Ocean Tribe couldn’t make it, dry land doesn’t exactly suit them too well… I believe they still tend to get confused with pufferfish fairly often.
From my position at the back as a rear guard, I could see the horned four legged beings fleeing with the help of winged ones and our armies surged forward through the breach in their mighty defenses.
Being at the back was not very fun, but those in the back always get the first crack at resources while the ones on the front lines were usually knocked out.
After more than half our combined armies were through the breach, I was close enough to see that the floor of the fortification was covered in water. I slowed down and slowly considered it.
Usually the four legged ones were panicky, most of them horned ones were weak in a close up fight, the winged ones were hard to fight without ranged weapons and the ones without wings or horns tended to be tougher than they appear in being capable of taking more hits than the other two.
The four legged ones with both wings and horn were seldom seen, but those among us have heard tales that they are powerful rulers. One of our raid teams went after four legged with no wings or horns transporting some sweet delights through the forest to the ancient battle site. They ended up seeing a purple leader with wings and horn, the raid team was soundly defeated by it and its escort.
The four legged beings were to not be underestimated, especially when other beings were around to organize them. I thought I saw a familiar two legged being, the triangular ears and the tail reminded me blasts of water and horrible magic spreading among my kin.
The color of the feline being was fairly familiar too… the floor was covered in water. This is all reminding me of the one who defeated the brave rider of Cluck Cluck, didn’t that being survive drowning after getting shot with a poisoned arrow?
“Gigi, gara, ighigh Gabbah!” In my wariness I called a full stop for my unit and they did so, they were all giving me curious looks.
I was glad I told my number to stop.
In the next few seconds more than half our forces were decimated when a surge of powerful energy came from a broken horned four legged being, the power of storms went through the water. The energy also leapt into the things on the staircases and the energy bounced between the rods sticking of said stairs back and forth weaving through the many bodies of the entirety of the Pixie Tribe.
The few stragglers of the pixie tribe were slowly taken down by bolts of energy fired by the winged four legged ones at a good distance outside of our ranged weapon, those that could have been close enough couldn’t fire due to all the convulsing they were doing.
Several of the Steaming Metal Tribes scrap piles exploded violently and it was there that I knew the truth.
We were in a glorious battle with the dreaded ‘Beast of the Cupcake’ once more and they had planned a trap that knocked out more than half our forces in one attack.
Many would say it would be stupid to continue, the ‘Beast of the Cupcake’ was mighty and could fire surges of water from her ears. I will stay say it though…
“Gabbah Gabbah!” I charged forward over the bodies of our twitching brethren after the arcing energies ceased to bother them and the water dried up from the heat.
I soon came to a stop when I saw several copies of the ‘Beast of the Cupcake’ wearing armor, all of them were throwing two flail weapons, that spins, down from each hand. Behind them were several more ‘Beast of the Cupcake’ riding four legged three headed monsters of greater intelligence, also armed with those weapons. Further behind them were several more copies of the one Storm Horn that had utilized the trap, they each had glowing horns and they were glaring at us with the power of storms crackling from their heads.
We surged forward towards a glorious future, for we would all fill our hearts with battle!
-The next day, Las Pegasus Hotel, Jade-
I could still feel Fizzy’s hoof grabbing my ass…
Yesterday went well, but we never got a chance to go shopping. Every mirror clone had died in the line of duty and pretty much nobody, except the pukwudgies that is, got hurt.
Never had I seen creatures more stupidly aggressive and annoying than they are.
“What are we doing today honey?” After the total mess we made of the shopping mall, I wondered what today would bring.
“I would say breakfast, but there’s nowhere to eat.” Our beloved Fizzy stated dryly as she gave my butt a tender squeeze making me mewl happily at the attention. “At least our nights are going better than our days.”
“At least we know what they mean by what happens in Las Pegasus stays in Las Pegasus.” After stating this, Mara dipped her head down and dragged her tongue sensually across my nose making me nuzzle into her neck happily.
-An hour or so later-
“Seriously?!” Did Fizzy really have to ask?
“Well of course I’m going to buy tacos from Bahamut!” I stated loudly as I made my way up to the taco stand and the dragon that’s several sizes too large for it.