For the next six months, Pharynx trained under idiots that he was sure he knew more than. Sure, the changelings drilling him were loud enough, but they didn't know the first thing about flying straight, leading mock group battles, or espionage. After the first full day, Pharynx had inadvertently taken over teaching the troops everything they'd need to know in a fight and going undercover. The hive was back to calling him Commander one month before Chrysalis officially promoted him.
On the rare days where he actually managed to get some time alone, he tried his hooves at some smaller tasks. He managed to cook a cave fungus stew that, while not delicious, was at least non-poisonous. One of the toys stolen from a pony village resembled what the human girl's mind recognized as a Rubik's cube. He managed to scramble that and solve it within an hour. He knew that wasn't any world-breaking record, but it at least meant he was still capable of higher thought.
A couple days after his promotion, Pharynx was summoned to a meeting with several other changelings. Queen Chrysalis had a grander plan than a mere wedding reception in the ponies' capital city. She wanted eyes in multiple pony cities, ready to strike, gathering intel, and preparing to replace the existing rulers with puppet leaders under her control.
The recon to the Crystal Empire had to be small to not attract too much attention. Pharynx volunteered to scout it out by himself. Chrysalis thought the matter settled and assigned the other recon teams to Canterlot, Ponyville, and a few dummy locations, just to throw off any suspicious outsiders.
Pharynx was among the first to leave that meeting.
---
After passing through a layer of an idling snowstorm, the express train stopped at a station that looked temperate. A few ponies stepped off and trotted toward the Crystal Empire. Among them was a cream-colored earth pony mare. Her mane consisted of two complementary colors and she was wearing a pair of sunglasses. She mentally kicked herself when she realized two other ponies had her exact same color palette.
In this mare disguise, Pharynx slowly looked around for any pony suspicious. It seemed the visitors and returning locals were none the wiser. He quietly yet briskly walked along to the edge of the one-city empire. He knew that even a gentle, push-over like his brother couldn't resist feeding off the love this place was radiating on all sides. He had to be somewhere nearby.
When he came across a crystal newsstand, he grabbed a paper and flipped to a random page. A couple of crystal ponies nearby were chatting about some random subjects. Then, a subject caused him to flick his fake ear.
"Spike is so brave and glorious!" The crystal stallion lifted a hoof and slammed it down. "Did you know he even converted a changeling to the side of good?"
"Get out! Really?" The mare of a slightly lighter hue practically laughed.
"It's true!" The stallion insisted. "That changeling is so docile now, it can safely play with Princess Cadance's baby."
While the two were busy laughing, Pharynx folded up his paper and started trotting away. He tossed a chartreuse gem at the newsstand's counter.
"Keep the change," he said in a valley mare's voice.
"Thank you for your patronage, ma'am!" called out the worker behind the counter.
The Crystal Palace wasn't hard to find. While every single building was shiny and difficult for Pharynx to look at for too long, the palace turned out to be the tallest and largest. At the center of the open, ground level floated a heart-shaped crystal that spun and glowed. He was glad he had snagged his sunglasses now. As he approached, one guard in Crystal Empire armor happened to trot in front of him.
"Excuse me, ma'am." This crystal pony's voice rang deep. "Can I help you?"
Pharynx cleared his throat to adjust his own voice to a mare's. "Yes, I was wondering if I could see the princess."
The stallion smiled slightly. "Well, if you just want to see the princess, just wait around anywhere in the empire. She makes regular trips to ground level to comfort the citizens."
Pharynx tilted his disguise's head. "Isn't that a bit risky?"
"No more risky than any one of us stepping out for some fresh air." The guard leaned down. "I see you're not from around here. Hope the culture differences aren't too appalling."
"Not really appalling." Pharynx shrugged. "Just disappointing."
"I'm... sorry?" The guard blinked twice.
A black, crusty hoof smacked the underside of the guard's face. He flipped onto his back and saw stars spinning around his vision.
"Don't get up." Pharynx trotted away. "I'll show myself inside."
---
One guard near the top of the staircase let his eyes wander. "I spy..."
"No." His partner shook his head.
"But I haven't even said what it is yet." The first guard raised his brow.
"It's a crystal." The second guard deadpanned. "It was a crystal the last five times. It's a crystal this time. It's always going to be a crystal."
The first sighed. "I'm just so bored."
"Then why did you apply to this position?" The second stared with scrutinizing eyes.
Their conversation was interrupted when they saw their ground-level colleague galloping up to the floor they were on. He looked like he was short on breath.
"Urgent matter!" He panted. "There's a rogue changeling in the Empire!"
"Uh... no." The second guard tilted his head. "He's docile. In fact, he's probably playing with Princess Flurry Heart right now."
"Not that one!" The colleague face-hoofed. "Another one! It was a different color and it just beat up a guard downstairs! We've got to get word to the princess right away!"
The first guard nodded to his partner before giving a quick salute. "Yes, sir!"
All three started galloping along the hallway. About ten paces in, both of the upstairs guards spun around. They tried to grab their colleague and to hold him against the wall. He gasped in surprise.
"What are you doing?!" He struggled against their combined strength.
"Pin Amethyst downstairs is a new recruit." The first guard huffed. "He doesn't give us orders. But you wouldn't know that, would you? ... Changeling?"
The struggling guard went limp. "Well, chitin."
Pharynx shape-shifted into his large spider form. This pressed the two crystal guards into the opposite wall, temporarily dazing them. He used this opening to shape-shift back to his default self and run along the wall. As soon as the guards managed to regain their bearings, they galloped on the floor after him.
He turned a corner and crawled along the top of a doorway. He saw several long tables with chairs, food trays, and the dozens of eyes staring at him. This was the Crystal Guard's mess hall. Before he could turn around to double-back, a few unicorns were already casting spells at his position. One of those spells caught the back of his neck. He ended up tumbling onto the floor just outside the doorway.
Some of the pegasi guards dog-piled on his position. At the same time, the pair of guards from earlier had caught up. After a bit of growling and hissing, Pharynx sighed and closed his eyes.
"Where's the real Pin Amethyst?" asked the first guard.
"Downstairs." Pharynx surrendered.
---
The captured commander changeling contained conflicting emotions. On one hoof, his first instinct was to think that the crystal prison cell he was being held in was kind of gaudy. On the other hand, his human mind thought the aesthetic was pretty and mesmerizing. Even the chains holding back his front hooves and clamping his horn were made of crystal. At least this empire had some consistency going with its theme.
Pharynx snapped out of his trance when several hoof steps echoed. Most of them stopped halfway while one set continued. After a few more seconds, he saw the holed hooves he was familiar with. Those soft eyes all but confirmed who he was looking at.
"Um, hey th-" The changeling outside the bars stopped mid-sentence and stared wide-eyed. "Pharynx?!"
"Thorax." Pharynx attempted to nod, but the chain holding his horn was a bid too rigid to allow that.
"What are you doing here?" Thorax placed a hoof against the bars. "I hoped I wasn't the only changeling that left the hive, but I never would have thought you'd be the next one."
"Heh." Pharynx smirked. "Well, I'm surprised you survived the Frozen North without some-ling else with you. So, we're even." He coughed. "Anyway, it's not like I came here to check on you or anything."
Thorax blinked twice. "Which in your language, that's exactly why you came here." He rubbed his forehead. "Does Chrysalis know you're here?"
Pharynx shrugged his wings. "Officially, I'm here because she wanted me to gather information about the Crystal Empire's defenses. Unofficially, I think I'm done with her beetle chitin."
"Really?" Thorax's ears perked up. "That's great! Does that mean you'll learn how to share love instead of stealing it?"
"Slow down, little brother." Pharynx grimaced. "I'm not about to give up who I am just to join the Flowers and Crystals Club." He averted his vision. "Anything happens to the hive, the queen is responsible for it. Chrysalis abandoned that foundation when she refused to confirm every-ling's life, death, or incapacity. If she doesn't follow her own rule, why should I follow her?"
Thorax twiddled his hooves. "So... what do you want to do, then?"
Pharynx sighed. "I want to make sure you're alright, that these ponies aren't making you even weaker than you used to be."
Thorax mulled over some thoughts. "If I convince them to let you out, will you promise not to steal any love without permission?"
"Do they have any other options we can actually eat?" Pharynx attempted to tilt his head, but the chains kept him vertical.
"Oh, do they ever!" Thorax smiled. His eyes practically sparkled. "They've been giving me fresh fish every day!"
Pharynx hummed and muttered, "I could kill for some unagi roll."
"What?" Thorax blinked twice.
Pharynx cleared his throat. "I mean, that sounds really good." He looked right at his brother. "Fine, I promise not to steal any love without the victim's permission."
"Great! I'll go tell every pony else!" Thorax walked briskly away.
"I'll just hang here." Pharynx mentally slapped himself. 'Oh, gosh. I'm turning into my past life's dad.'
---
"You're sure he's telling the truth?" asked Shining Armor.
"My brother may be... well, is... aggressive, blunt, and mean sometimes, but he doesn't lie," insisted Thorax.
"What about impersonating me?" Pin Amethyst waved his hoof around at himself.
"Actually, he did tell us that a different-colored changeling beat you," said the first crystal guard from the stairs. "That was technically true."
"Permission to call you a feather-face, Corporal?" Pin Amethyst glared.
"Permission denied." Corporal grinned.
"So you're just going to let this rogue element go?" Pin Amethyst looked pleadingly at Shining Armor. "Your Majesty, he punched me in the face!"
Princess Cadance leaned in from beside her husband. "We will personally compensate you for any basic medical procedures you need until the end of this week."
"Mm... okay." The ground-floor crystal guard sulked. "But I'm still upset."
"Noted, Private." Shining Armor magically floated up a set of keys. He unlocked the cell and its prisoner's chains. "Alright... Pharynx, was it? If you don't mind, I'd like to ask some questions. Would you follow us?"
Pharynx cracked some of his sore joints. "I do mind, but you'll ask them anyway. So, what does it matter?"
Shining Armor slowly put his keys away. "Wow. Starting to see what you meant by 'blunt'."
---
There was much clattering of plates. Unlike the mess hall's cozy feel with all of the tables meshed together, the royal dining hall was more open and had several different server ponies running around. Most of the table's occupants were eating a mix of fried tofu patties and veggie blends. Meanwhile, there was an ever-cycling of two plates of fish in front of the changeling guests.
At first, Thorax was the only one chomping down like a starving animal. After watching for a couple seconds, Pharynx had shrugged and followed his little brother's example. At the rate they were scarfing down the fish, they sounded more like pencil sharpeners than mouths. A couple belches signified when they were done eating.
"My goodness." Crystaller Sunburst adjusted his glasses. "I can see the family resemblance in your... appetite."
Pharynx cocked his head. "That's a dumb comparison."
Thorax folded his hooves. "Please excuse him. This is his first time at a dinner table."
'Oh, is that what you think?' Pharynx levitated a napkin up. He used it to pat around his mouth. Then, he folded it neatly before setting it down on his empty plate as a standing triangle.
Flurry Heart babbled happily at the sight of the napkin trick.
"Or... not?" Thorax stared with wide eyes. "When did you learn to do that?"
"Something I picked up while you weren't around." Pharynx folded his front hooves behind his head. 'Before I was born a second time, but let's stick with one mind-blow for now.'
"Tora! Tora!" Flurry Heart wiggled her hooves around.
Cadance chuckled. "She wants to play with you some more, Thorax."
"Sunburst, would you mind going with them?" Shining Armor turned.
"Sure, no problem." Sunburst stood up and magically grabbed the small cradle.
Flurry Heart teleported onto Thorax's back. The two of them laughed as he galloped around and out of the dining hall. Sunburst walked briskly after them. Wordlessly, Cadance dismissed the serving ponies. All that remained were herself, Shining Armor, Pharynx, and the stallion carrying the water pitcher.
"Nice offspring you have there." Pharynx glanced in the direction that Thorax and Flurry had left. "Did you hatch her yourself?"
"Uh..." Cadance blushed. "That's not exactly how we... make babies."
Pharynx waved a hoof dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, birds and bees. Got it." He made eye contact. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
Shining Armor set his napkin down. "What is Chrysalis up to right now?"
Pharynx took a deep breath and gave the rulers the rundown. He told them about Chrysalis's ambition to take over Equestria, the reconnaissance teams to various pony cities, and the plan to collect all the love. Expressions on the listeners ranged from initial shock to understanding to confusion.
"But if she intends to replace Celestia and Luna," interrupted Cadance, "how will the sun and moon keep moving when they're supposed to?"
Pharynx shrugged. "Beats me. She said something about a pocket watch device that could mimic that power, but I mentally filed that under her insanity."
Shining Armor tapped his chin. "Would you be willing to try acting as a double-agent, collecting more information about her plans while pretending to work for her?"
"Out of the question." Pharynx crossed his front limbs. "In case my demonstration earlier today didn't make it clear, I'm a fighter, not a silver tongue. You want me on the front lines against her, I'll gladly throw a punch. But I won't be able to hide my intentions from her."
"Hmm, you've got a point there." Shining Armor nodded.
Cadance tilted her head. "Aren't all changelings good at-"
"Lying and stealing?" Pharynx filled in.
"I was going to say 'illusions'."
Pharynx scoffed. "Have you met my brother? Most of his illusions seem to physically hurt him when he doesn't believe in himself. Part of the reason why Chrysalis failed at invading Canterlot was because she forgot that not all of her changelings were built to fight. The other part was some magical McMuffin, but that's to the credit of ponies."
Shining Armor blinked. "What is a... nick muffin?"
Pharynx shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go track down Thorax."
Before he left, he grabbed the pitcher of water and chugged down the rest of its contents. He exhaled and set the pitcher back down. Then, he promptly marched out of the room. Shining Armor sank into his seat.
"Any thoughts, Shiny?" Cadance looked with concern.
"Several." He groaned. "First and foremost: Is everything he said true?"
"I don't know," admitted Cadance, "but he does seem genuinely affectionate with his brother."
Shining smirked. "Closer than me and Twily?"
"About the same, actually." Cadance moved her front hooves like an invisible balance scale.
They sat in silence while the remaining server went about picking up dirty dishes. Eventually, Shining Armor pulled himself out of his chair.
"I'd better start setting up the new training regimen."
Cadance stood up. "And I'm going to send a few letters."
---