“Pokey-poo?” Chrysalis softly asked with a deep yawn. “Ugh, it’s three in the morning. What’s going on? Why are you getting dressed?”
“I have to work today,” Pokey replied, with a snort of amusement when he saw the rat’s nest of a mane atop Chrysalis’ head. “Princess Summit, remember?”
Chrysalis grunted. “So?”
“So, unlike certain changeling queens who can sleep in as long as they like, I have to report for duty in half an hour,” he said as he slid his helmet on. “Unless you’re going to start paying the mortgage, and the utility bills, and buy the food, and pay for that expensive shampoo that you insist on using.”
“Don’t forget the conditioner,” she mumbled, her eyes fluttering shut as she began to tip sideways. “Your mane would look fabulous if you’d use some.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Now go back to your pod. I’ll be back this evening, late. Don’t wait up for me.”
Chrysalis grunted, then stumbled towards Pokey with her eyes closed. “Don’t wanna. Come snuggle. We haven’t snuggled in forever,” she whined.
“Yeah, no.” Pokey put a hoof on her chest. “We’re not there yet.”
“You’re cute when you’re in denial,” she said with a smirk, and before Pokey could properly react, Chrysalis smacked his hoof away and lunged in with puckered lips. The sergeant tried to offer some token resistance to her amorous move, but as soon as her lips touched his, the idea was set ablaze and sent screaming. It was infuriating how she could scramble his brain and turn his innards into mush, but he had to admit that he found himself longing for these moments.
It was bad enough that his idle thoughts were beginning to prominently feature Chrysalis during the lulls that occured in his days. The changeling queen was going to be the end of him, and he was helpless to stop it.
“Mmm, delicious.” Chrysalis licked her lips and grinned. “Do you know what desire tastes like? It’s like a decadent dark chocolate, with little almond bits in it. I’m going to put on twenty pounds right here and now just from the desire that’s flowing off of you, my sweet babboo,” she cooed. “But if you must go, then hurry up and get back here so I can suck more love out of you. Mama is hungry.”
“I’ll be sure to take my time, then,” he snarked back in an effort to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “Don’t steal any love from anypony else while I’m gone.”
“Why would I go back to eating sawdust after having Pokey pudding?” she said with another yawn. “You’re stuck with me, like it or not. Maybe I’ll come and crash the summit later. I haven’t caused any problems for a while, so I’m overdue.”
“You wouldn’t dare. All of the princesses will be there, along with delegates from every city in Equestria. You’d be blasted to the moon in five seconds flat.”
“You underestimate me, Pokey.” She waved a dismissive hoof and turned back to her room. “Later. Sleep now. I need my beauty rest.”
Pokey shook his head in amusement, but his gaze remained on the rear end of the changeling queen. Despite all of her flaws and faults, she did have a rather nice set of flanks.
For a bug, that is.
* * ✹ * *
“Morning, Luna,” Bean called out to the nocturnal princess as she alighted on the balcony. “How was your evening?”
“It went well, thank you,” she replied with a glance to either side of him. “But you seem to be missing somepony. Where is Celly?”
“In bed still,” he said, and he pointed a hoof towards his room. “We stayed up late last night…” he cleared his throat and tapped the tips of his hooves together. “Um, we were... discussing the, um. Well, y’know…”
“The alarming rise in subprime interest rates?” Luna offered with a smirk.
“Uh, yeah! Interest rates,” Bean said. “Anyway, she said she wanted to sleep in for the first time in a millenium, so she tossed me out here and told me to take care of the sunrise. She’s got her magic going while she’s asleep, somehow, so you don’t have to worry about helping me.”
Luna’s gaze went into her sister’s chambers, and she chuckled at the sight. Celestia’s lit horn poked out from a pile of blankets in the middle of the room, along with a soft snore that solidified her sleepiness. “And she accuses me of nesting. I hope she does not sleep in for very long. We do have the Princess Summit to attend to.”
“I mentioned that to her, and she just mumbled something dismissive before rolling over,” Bean said as Luna tucked the moon away for the day. “I think she was trying to say something about how it started at nine, so she still had plenty of time, but I can’t be sure. I’m still learning how to translate Celly’s sleep grunts into real words.”
“Good luck with that,” Luna replied as Bean reached out and brought up the sun⁽*⁾. “I still haven’t figured out that language, even after a thousand years of trying.”
⁽*⁾With a little unseen encouragement.
—
“Do you think Twilight got everything—” Bean started, but he was interrupted with a sharp stab of pain when his left rear leg moved. A groan followed his stumble, but Luna was quick to prop him up and throw a wing over him.
“Your leg?” she simply asked, and he nodded with a shake of the afflicted limb.
“Yeah. I figured this would happen. I could feel it starting to hurt right in the middle of—” he cleared his throat again—“of our ‘discussion’ last night. I didn’t think it would hurt this badly, though.”
“Should I summon Doctor Horsenpfeffer?”
“No, not yet,” Bean said as Luna helped him limp back into his room. “Let me take the weight off of it for a bit and see what happens. I’ll call for her if this keeps hurting.”
“Please do,” Luna said in a tone that did not allow Bean a way out of his commitment. “To answer your question, I believe Twilight Sparkle has taken care of the final preparations, though I worry that she has paid for that with her health. She has not slept at all during the past three days. She has told me that she will be fine once Mister Dry Roast provides her with a large cup of her usual caffeinated brew,⁽*⁾ but I have my doubts. I have already spoken to Cadence regarding the matter, and if she feels that Twilight Sparkle is unable to carry on, she will order her to bed.”
⁽*⁾ Her usual being a double-double espresso latte with seven pumps of chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and low foam, but extra-long nights would sometimes necessitate an eighth pump.
—
“Good thing she’s letting the delegates run all of the panel discussions.” Bean winced as he slowly laid down next to Celestia, but once he was settled, he drew in a deep breath. “Hopefully my leg won’t kill me. I was looking forward to attending the summit.”
“If needed, I’m sure Celly can place you in a levitation field and tow you along with her,” Luna said with a chuckle. “For now, rest. I shall go ensure that the summit is ready to proceed.”
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean grinned as his eyes swept over the grand ballroom, drinking in all of the vibrant colors and elegant details before him. If the various booths that had been set up for the visiting delegates were any indication of how this Princess Summit was going to go, today was going to be a very busy day indeed. Ponies from across the country had already filled the room, and each of them looked as eager and excited as he felt inside. Bean was looking forward to meeting as many of the delegates as he could, and to learn even more about the kingdom that he shared with his wife. There was still so much for him to learn, so much that he needed to process and understand.
He was also looking forward to getting away from the general snobbery and snootiness of Canterlot’s nobility for a day, too. By his own rough estimation, about half of the ministers and the nobles were still upset with him because of the Tirek ‘incident’, and their disdain was expressed frequently and with very little subtlety. Celestia had offered to have a not-so friendly chat with them, but Bean had declined, with the reasoning that the only way to gain their favor would be to be the best prince he could, day in and day out.
“Looks like everypony is here,” Cadence said from Bean’s side. “Are we ready to begin?”
“Everything is good to go.” Spike checked one last box on the list he held before tossing it aside. “Luna! You’re up!”
Bean smiled as four pairs of princess wings unfurled in perfect synchronization, and he snuck a kiss onto his wife’s cheek before they moved out to the center of the stage, with Luna in the lead and the rest of them right behind her.
“Welcome to the Grand Equestria Pony Summit!” Luna announced to cheers and applause.
Celestia then stepped forward, but Bean suppressed a giggle and made a mental note to himself to ask his wife why she always lifted a forehoof when she spoke to large crowds. “You delegates have travelled from far and wide to represent your cities as we seek to celebrate and learn from all of the various cities that make up our wonderful land of Equestria. At tonight’s welcome reception, Princess Cadence will dedicate this beautiful friendship statue, made up of gemstones from each of your home cities.”
With a flick of her magic, Princess Cadence pulled away the large sheet that had been covering the statue. Bean offered a gasp of amazement that matched the crowd’s own—even though he had watched the gemstones being assembled into something that reminded him of Pinkie Pie—and he applauded with everypony else in the hall.
“Now,” Celestia continued, “I’d like to turn things over to the one who organized the summit: Princess Twilight Sparkle!”
“Is it just me, or does Twilight look a little exhausted?” Bean whispered over to Cadence as Twilight began her prepared remarks.
“She hasn’t slept in the last three days. I’m worried that she won’t be able to stay awake for much longer.”
“Maybe she just needs a power nap?”
“She needs more than that,” Cadence said with a thoughtful frown. “Her first speech isn’t until this evening, so I’ll try to talk her into getting some sleep before then.”
“And now, my faithful assistant would like to say a few words,” Twilight concluded, and she yawned as Spike stepped to the front of the stage.
“Um, hello everypony!” he cheerfully greeted the crowd with a wave. “I’m here to help however I can. So if any of you need anything—”
“We love you, Princess Twilight!” a pony shouted out and over Spike’s words.
“We love all of the Princesses!” another pony called out to cheers and more applause.
Spike’s eyes went to his feet, and he let out a deep sigh. “I guess everypony loves a princess,” he muttered.
“Bean?” Celestia’s voice cut into his thoughts as the crowd dispersed. “How is your leg feeling?”
“It still hurts, but walking around has helped,” he said with an experimental shake of the appendage.
“Do you need to sit down? I can get some ice for you, if it would help.”
“I think just walking around a bit would be best for now,” Bean replied. “If it gets worse, I’ll take you up on the offer.”
Celestia gave him a kiss, but then pulled back just enough to study his face intently. “Please do. For now, it might be best if you help the delegates. Let me know if you need any assistance.”
“Don’t you have that mayoral conclave thing? I don’t want to interrupt that.”
“Just send me a note, then. I’m sure Spike would be more than happy to assist you.”
“Yeah, poor little guy looks down in the dumps, doesn’t he?” Bean glanced to the retreating dragon, whose gaze remained on his feet.
“It’s difficult for him to be surrounded by so much attention and not be the center of it. Dragons by their very nature are hoarders, and part of him wants to hoard the attention that Twilight is receiving. Why don’t you try to cheer him up a bit, if you get the chance, and let him know that all of the princesses value his assistance.”
“Sure thing,” he said with a grin.
* * ✹ * *
Queen Chrysalis, the Mighty and Fearsome Leader of the Changeling Hoards, paused for a moment to adjust her pince-nez glasses and then she sneered at the garish trappings that were laid out before her. She would never understand why ponies had to make everything so gaudy and over-the-top, but she had to admit that the colorful booths helped her to blend in with her current pony disguise.
That didn’t keep anypony from staring at her and her unwanted patchwork color scheme, but the confusion and amusement that floated her way was filling, bland as it was. Getting into the summit had been laughably easy, once she had convinced the guards that she was a reporter who had lost her credential paperwork⁽¹⁾, and she took a moment to look at the photograph on her new identification badge.
⁽¹⁾And once they had stopped snickering amongst themselves.
—
It wasn’t a flattering photo, given that her smile looked like somepony had grabbed the edges of her mouth and then pulled her lips out sideways, but it worked for now. Besides, smiling was highly overrated. And painful, unless accompanied with the appropriate gloating.
A small part of her was dismayed that she hadn’t concocted some sort of devious plot to disrupt the summit, but her Pokey was far better about keeping secrets from her now. In fact, if not for an article in last week’s newspaper, she never would have known there even was a summit scheduled. As it stood, she had decided to risk attendance anyway, mostly so she could scout out potential new locations for love and thus keep her drones happy and in line. It didn’t have to be a large reservoir of love, like the Crystal Empire or Ponyville; in fact, a smaller pool would be preferable, since then she could send just a drone or two to steal some scraps here and there, and thus minimize the chances of detection. Those little tidbits would tide the hoard over until she could finally convert Pokey to her side, undermine Canterlot’s defenses, and have a second shot at overrunning Equestria.
A smile tugged at her lips as she thought of her Pokey-poo and his tenacity. He was strong willed and stubborn, traits that would be perfect for her planned hybrid army. His sense of devotion would be useful too, once it was focused on her, and not Sunbutt and that Bean.
Chrysalis could be a patient bug, when the rewards for such were so clear and so tantalizingly close. She would continue to whittle away at his defenses, day by day, until he was hers, body, mind, and soul.
With that happy thought, she moved towards a back corner of the room to survey the crowd. Once she had an idea of who was here and where they were from, it would be all too easy to figure out where to get her next batch of love from.
“Ah! So here you are, Chrissy! I had heard a rumor that you might stop by.”
“Discord!” Chrysalis hissed and bared her fangs at him. “Don’t you come any closer!”
The Lord of Chaos pulled a paintbrush from the oversized red afro on his head, and he clicked his tongue as he loaded the bristles with a mixture of colors from the palette he held in his paw. “Touchy, touchy,” he playfully scoffed, and with one smooth stroke, a perfect copy of Crysalis’ snarling face appeared on the canvas in front of him. “Especially since I haven’t seen you in ages. I have to say, I’m loving the new look! Very avant-garde, with just a hint of repulsed hatred. I don’t know if it’s art, but I like it! How’s that love-stealing bit going for you? I’ve been wondering where you get it from after Shining Armor and Cadence blasted you off to the Badlands.”
“Where I get my love from is none of your concern!” she snarled. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be in Tartarus with your good friend Tirek?”
Discord’s countenance visibly darkened, and his teeth ground together so hard that sparks began to fly. “Don’t you ever mention that name in my presence again.”
“Oh ho! Who’s the touchy one here?” Chrysalis crowed. “I might be evil, but at least I’m not a traitor.”
Discord flashed a wicked grin. “You’re one to talk. Who ditched her hive and her underlings just for some Pokey-poo action? You’re not as high-and-mighty as you think you are.”
“Shut up,” she snarled, but in a soft voice. His words had cut deeper than she would have liked, but there was no way she was going to admit that. “You didn’t answer my question.”
Discord chuckled. “I’m just stopping in for some of Bean’s hors d’oeuvres. He whipped up all sorts of tasty treats for this droll little get-together, and I promised Fluttershy I’d bring something back for our tea date. You really should try some.” A large menu was pushed into the changeling queen’s hooves.
“Pookie Pudding?” Chrysalis asked as she looked over the offerings. “Sentry Cheesecake? You made these up!”
“I personally suggest the Nookie Cookie.” Discord bobbed his eyebrows at her. “It’s just swimming in snuggle sauce, and it leaves a delightful, minty aftertaste. I was rather hoping that you’d provide a little chaos to liven up this rather dull summit, but that’s obviously going to be a bust. You only came so you could stay close to your sweet babboo. I do have to admit that your situation is rather amusing, if only because of how deeply in denial you both are about your true feelings.”
“I didn’t come here for Pokey,” Chrysalis quickly said, her eyes on anything besides Discord. “I’m looking for new sources of love.”
“Right. You just keep telling yourself that.” Discord flicked his wrist to unfold the arms on a pair of sunglasses that had just appeared, then put them on with a grin. “But if you’ll excuse me, I simply must go check on the delegates from Ponyville. They brought the most delightful little maniac with them, and I simply can’t get enough of his snarky, snide attitude. Chao!”
Chrysalis grumbled under her breath as Discord disappeared. Her interactions with the Lord of Chaos in the past had been very few and extremely far between, but even that was far too often for her liking. He was obnoxious, overbearing, irritating, and he smelled like smoked herring that had been thrown out three weeks ago on top of everything else. She had been immensely grateful when Sunbutt and Moonbutt had stoned him, since that meant he wouldn’t randomly stop by and fill her hive with honeybees, but it had clearly been too much to hope that his ‘reformation’ would keep him from pestering her anymore.
“There’s got to be a way to block his magic,” she mused, her hooves moving her to the previously intended vantage point. “I’ll have to look into it when I get back to the hive. Maybe the darkstone would do the trick.”
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean whistled a cheerful nonsense tune to himself as he limped down the path that led to Canterlot’s polo grounds, his desire to be helpful burning almost as fiercely as the stretching muscles in his leg. He wasn’t about to let an old war wound stop him from performing his assigned duties, because to him, that would mean that Tirek had, in some small way, ultimately won the fight in Ponyville.
That, and Celestia had been a bit snippy with him that morning as the summit had kicked into high gear. He knew she was stressed out, and she hadn’t been sleeping well as of late either, but her fatigue was being vented out on him, and when she vented, the steam tended to burn.
He didn’t take it personally, of course, but things seemed to run smoother if he excused himself during her ‘flashes,’ and today was definitely a day that needed to run smoothly.
So, he figured he could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, by checking on the trimming of the dragon-sneeze trees, and to see how the repairs were going on the damaged water main that had been found last night. Both had the potential to disrupt the summit if not taken care of, to say nothing of extra costs and damage that could occur. Celestia would be pleased to hear that the issues had been resolved, and that happiness would carry over for the rest of the day.
Hopefully.
Celly remained sensitive to comments about her weight, or her pregnant profile, so it wouldn’t take much to undo his work.
Bean forced himself to be positive. His dear wife really wasn’t all that bad; in fact, she typically only had one or two flashes a day, at the worst. Even then, she would acknowledge that she was being a brat and attempt to curb her emotions, and Bean rather enjoyed how Celestia chose to apologize to him.
Especially since said apologies always involved lots of kissing, sweet nothings whispered into his ear with a few playful nips, and what she liked to refer to as ‘extra credit assignments.’
His thoughts were interrupted when he rounded the last corner before the trees and collided with something small, green, and covered in scales. The impact forced him to stagger back, and he sucked in another sharp breath of pain when his bad leg absorbed his full body weight to keep him upright.
“Prince Bean?” Spike quickly picked himself off the ground and rushed to the Prince’s side. “I am so sorry! I didn’t even see you there! Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” he grunted through clenched teeth, his hoof rubbing away the pain in his chest. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
“I gotta stop that pony!” he exclaimed with a frantic wave of his claws, and he was off again. “Excuse me!”
Bean hobbled after the small drake as best he could, but there was no way he was going to follow him up that tree, and he certainly wasn’t going to sprint up it, either.
“Oh, hey little guy.” A green pegasus with a chainsaw greeted the suddenly-there Spike. “Can I help you with something?”
“Do you have to do this right now?” Spike asked through watery eyes and a runny nose before letting loose with a fiery sneeze. “Oh, no! Are these dragon-sneeze trees?”
The horticultural pegasus was clearly confused, and he glanced to Baked Bean as if begging for an explanation. “Uh, yeah. These are too top-heavy. Wouldn’t take much to bring these beauties down.”
A gust of wind emphasized his point, pushing the tops of the trees into a dangerous tilt and drawing out strained groans from the wood.
Spike sniffled, his face contorting into odd shapes as he tried to control his allergies. “Can’t you just wait a few hours?”
“Sorry, it’s a public health hazard. I got my orders.” The pegasus shrugged.
“Why can’t he take care of these now, Spike?” Bean asked. “Celestia told me specifically that she wanted this taken care of as soon as possible.”
Spike grunted, groaned, and then let out a fierce sneeze that brought a flash of fire with it. “Can’t do it now because Princess Twilight says not to do it.”
“She did?” Bean asked.
“Uh, yeah. Like, just a few minutes ago, even.” Spike sniffled and rubbed his eyes, but the action obviously didn’t provide any relief for the burning.
“Well, I suppose these could wait for a few hours,” the tree-trimming pegasus said.
“Hold on a minute.” Bean held up a hoof, and he looked over the thick foliage of the tree before them. “Twilight knew that Celestia wanted these trimmed, and I didn’t think Twilight was the rebellious type. Why is she going against her mentor’s wishes?”
Spike didn’t answer the question. Even if he had, Bean wouldn’t have been able to hear it, since a nearby construction pony picked that exact moment to start jackhammering the nearby street.
“Aw, c’mon!” Spike’s groan of annoyance vibrated in time with the jackhammer, and faster than Bean could track, he was out of the tree and over to the construction. “Excuse me, sir! I really need you to stop—” the jackhammer stopped, but Spike kept shouting “—that right now! Oops.”
“Lemme guess. The noise, right?” the burly unicorn scoffed. “Sorry, but we can’t have a broken water main!”
Spike smacked his forehead. “You couldn’t have done this yesterday?!”
“Hey, pal, I’m just trying to make sure everything runs smooth for the summit!”
“Spike, could I borrow you for a moment?” Bean physically stepped between the unicorn and the dragon to prevent the situation from escalating further. He wrapped a foreleg around Spike’s shoulders, and with a forceful tug, he led the young assistant away from the scene. “Okay, what is going on? Why are you trying to stop these ponies from doing their jobs?”
Spike stumbled over his words for a moment, but then he sighed and his shoulders dejectedly slumped into defeat. “Princess Cadence wanted me to make sure Twilight got some sleep. She was so tired, she couldn’t even think straight, and I just wanted to help out.”
Bean started to reply, but then he stopped himself. He could see the desire to be useful reflecting in Spike’s eyes, but it was clear the young dragon wasn’t thinking the end results of his actions through. He was just trying to keep everything quiet, but if the trees and the water main remained as they were, they would soon have a much bigger problem than a sleepy princess. “So let’s figure this out together. Twilight needs quiet so she can sleep, right?”
“Right.”
“But the chainsaw and the jackhammer are obviously way too loud. Since we can’t move the trees or the water main, why don’t we try moving Twilight instead?”
Spike cocked his head to one side. “What do you mean?”
“There has to be another guest room that Twilight could use,” Bean clarified. “One away from all of the construction. Why don’t we check with Celestia, and see if another room is available?”
“But won’t we have to wake her up to move her?”
Bean nodded. “I’m sure she’ll understand why, especially if it means she can get some rest. Then these good ponies can get their jobs done,” Bean swept a hoof back towards the pegasus and the unicorn, “and the summit won’t experience any major disruptions. Can you imagine what would happen if that main broke, and the palace didn’t have any water?”
“Oo, yeah. That would be bad,” Spike agreed.
“Sergeant Clover Leaf?” Bean called over his shoulder.
“On my way, Sir,” Clover called out, and she took to the air.
Bean gave Spike what he hoped was a friendly, reassuring squeeze, then turned to face the idle workers. “Gentleponies, I apologize for the confusion and the delay. We’ll have this sorted out in just a moment, and then you can get back to work.”
The two nodded, then went back to chatting with one another.
“How much rest have you gotten lately, Spike?” Bean asked. “You must have worked a lot of long nights too, since you’re Twilight’s number one assistant.”
Spike positively beamed with the praise. “Well, not to brag or anything, but I have been super helpful. I wrote up and sent out all the invitations, and I helped Twilight work out the schedule for the speeches, and I helped her get the layout for the booths finalized.”
“Impressive,” Bean said with a grin. “And you’re not at all tired?”
“Nah, I’m used to Twilight’s late nights.” Spike scoffed, then twiddled his forefingers and gave the prince a sheepish grin. “But it would be nice to just kick back and relax after all of that hard work.”
Bean nodded. “You’ve certainly earned it, that’s for sure. I tell you what: once we get Sleeping Beauty’s accommodations taken care of, why don’t you head over to the masseuse parlor and get a massage? Celly made arrangements for the finest therapists in Canterlot to be here today as a treat for the delegates, and if I was in your position, I’d be a bundle of knots all over.”
“That does sound good,” Spike admitted. “But Cadence wanted me to make sure Twilight got some rest.”
“I’ll round up some guards and put them on watch outside her room until you get back.” Bean offered with a grin. “Nopony will disturb her, I promise.”
“I dunno…” Spike rubbed one arm with his claw and studied his toes.
“I think my husband is on to something,” Celestia’s voice announced, and in a flash of golden magic, she appeared before the two of them with Cadence in tow.
“Yup. That’s still awesome,” Bean murmured in delighted amazement.
“I, for one, have already set up a massage appointment for this evening,” Celestia went on with a pleasant smile. “But first things first. Sergeant Clover Leaf said something about Twilight needing another place to rest?”
“Yeah. These two fine stallions are trying to get their work done,” Bean said with a wave of a hoof to the unicorn and the pegasus workers, who both bowed when he pointed to them. “But our Princess is in yonder tower, and the ruckus will surely wake her up.”
“Indeed. Cadence, why don’t we move Twilight to her old room in the east wing? There should be no problem with noise on that side of the palace.”
Cadence nodded. “That should work. If I had realized the broken main was over here, I would have taken her there in the first place. Thank you for trying to keep the noise down, Spike.”
“Ah, it was nothing,” he said with a pleased grin.
Cadence smiled back, but then she tapped a hoof to her chin. “You know, I think there’s something else you could do for me while Twilight sleeps.”
“What?” Spike eagerly asked. “Name it, Princess Cadence, and I’m your dragon for the job!”
“Why don’t you help Prince Bean deal with any issues the delegates might have? There’s always problems that come up, no matter how well you plan. If you and Bean can do that, then the delegates won’t disturb Twilight.”
“You sure you want to do that?” Bean said with a wry grin. “That Prince Bean fellow is a bit sketchy, and his decision-making abilities have been in question over the past few months.”
“We’re dealing with delegates, not the nobility,” Celestia said with an annoyed snort that was clearly for said nuisances. “I believe you will be treated better today.”
Bean shrugged. “Well, if you insist, I suppose I try to handle it. Just don’t be too surprised if a mob of angry ponies shows up later to complain about my choices.”
“Oh, lemme tell you somethin’, alright?” an angry masculine voice interrupted the conversation. “I worked forever on this speech, and I know I have more—”
“Uh, hi?” Spike called out. “Can we help you?”
“Oh! Beggin’ your pardon, Your Highnesses,” an off-white mare in a winter trapper’s hat said, and she bowed with the broad tan stallion who was next to her. “We didn’t see ya there.”
“That’s quite all right, Miss Gustysnows,” Celestia replied. “What seems to be the trouble?”
“Well, my friend here, the distinguished pony from up Manehattan, and I are in a bit of a pickle, and we need Princess Twilight to resolve it. See, we’re both supposed to give speeches about our local economies in five minutes, and we’ve been booked in the same hall!”
“I had the room first,” the stallion quickly put in with a huff. “And let’s be honest, my speech is more important.”
“Point of order there, sir,” Miss Gustysnows shot back, “but I think you’ll find that my speech is the more important one, don’t’cha know.”
“I’m afraid Princess Twilight is currently engaged in other affairs and is unavailable at the moment,” Princess Celestia said, in a slightly louder than normal tone to keep the two from escalating their fight further. “But Prince Bean would be happy to sort out the issue for you.”
“Indeed I would,” Bean added. “Spike, could you get me a copy of the schedule for the halls? I’m sure we can find another empty space somewhere for one of these fine delegates so they don’t have to talk over each other.”
“Sure! I’ll be right back,” Spike said, and he took off running just as fast as his legs could carry him.
“I shall take care of the other problem at hoof,” Celestia said with a nuzzle for her husband. “You should get your leg looked at while Spike gets his massage. I don’t want it to get any worse. If you should need any further assistance from me after that, please let me know.”
“I will.”
* * ✹ * *
“Oh, yeah. That hit the spot.” Spike let out a small belch and rubbed his stomach with a contented sigh. “Thanks for the emerald salad, Prince Bean.”
“You’ll have to thank Chef Beet for that,” he said with a grin as they both entered the grand ballroom. “But I’ll pass along your kind words.”
“So, what do we do now?” Spike asked. “Just wait for ponies to come to us with a problem?”
“Pretty much,” Bean said with a glance back to his leg, which now felt much better after Horsenpfeffer’s impromptu physical therapy session. “I’ll probably just have to pick out a spot and stay there, though.”
“Ah! Prince Bean!” Fancy Pants’ voice cut through the crowd, and before Bean could properly reply, he rushed the royal and shook his hoof furiously. “So good to see you! I understand your leg has been giving you a spot of bother today, is that right?”
“It has been, but it’s getting better,” Bean replied. “What can I help you with?”
“Well, Your Highness, I understand Princess Twilight is indisposed at the moment, and I do have an important request. As host city, the Canterlot delegation feels that it should receive passes to every meeting and party, eh?”
“That doesn’t sound fair,” Spike murmured.
“You didn’t receive enough passes for your entire delegation?” Bean asked.
“Well, we did, but then a few more delegates were added to the retinue. You know how these things go, Your Highness. There’s always somepony who forgets to RSVP, what?”
“True, but to the best of my knowledge, all of the passes have been assigned,” Bean said. “I’ll check with my wife and get more for you. Do you know how many you need?”
“Only a dozen more, Your Highness,” Fancy Pants replied with a winning smile. “As I understand it, that should take care of our needs.”
Bean nodded with a grin. “Spike, can you send a message?”
“On it.” Spike already had a piece of parchment and quill in claw, and it only took him a moment to write and send the message along. Fancy Pants nodded to them both as Spike wrote, and with a cheerful tune, he trotted towards the delegate from Baltimare. “I still think that was unfair, though. Why should Canterlot get free passes to everything?”
“Because they’re hosting,” Bean answered. “The host city always gets a few added benefits.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
Bean gave the dragon a playful nudge. “I had to sit through hours of meetings on all of this, so I’m glad I remembered. It’s easy to make a decision based on your first gut feeling, but it really pays to get as many facts and details as you can. If we had told Fancy Pants no, the delegates would have gotten upset and complained. They’re a lot like restaurant patrons, in a way: they expect a certain level of service for their money, and we’re here to provide it to them.”
“Huh. I never would have thought of it that way.”
“Trust me, it’s better you learn it this way. The School of Hard Knocks has teachers that have absolutely no mercy, the lesson plans beat you into submission and swipe your loose change while they’re at it, and the cafeteria food is really, really bad.”
Spike snickered. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Prince Bean!” a sky-blue pony with a wispy white mane practically fell at Bean’s feet with a loud sob. “Oh, it’s horrible! It’s awful! You’ve got to help me!”
“I’ll do what I can, Mister?”
“Fluffy Clouds, Sire,” he sniffled.
“So what’s with all the hubbub, bub?” Bean asked with a snicker for his rather clever wordplay.
“Oh, it’s just the most horrible thing! I was really looking forward to the “Don’t Spend All Your Bits” speech, but when I went in the hall,” he hesitated for just a moment and began to tear up, “a pony had taken my seat, a pony who used to be my friend!”
“Your friend took your seat?” Spike scoffed. “Big deal! Why don’t you just—”
“No offence,” Fluffy Clouds interrupted “but I don’t need some random dragon’s opinion. I want to know what Prince Bean has to say.”
“Prince Bean sayeth that the random dragon was on the right track,” Bean replied. “No friendship should end over a seat. I’d just forgive him and move on, if I were you.”
“Oh, of course!” Fluffy Clouds let out a gasp of joy. “You’re so wise, Your Highness!”
“Much as I want to take credit for the idea, Spike here was the one with the suggestion.”
“Thank you, little dragon!” Fluffy said with a broad smile.
“Eh, don’t mention it,” Spike smirked and rubbed the tips of his claw on his chest.
“I can’t believe Grandpa Gruff made me come with you,” Gallus grumbled for the fifteenth time in as many minutes.
“It’s your own fault, you know,” Gwedolyn replied. “‘Oh, Gruff! I hate the aerie! I want to get out and see the world! I feel like a chicken in a coop here!’”
“This isn’t any better,” he grumbled. “I’m stuck inside, acting as your personal valet. I can think of a hundred different things I’d rather be doing.”
“You could try to make the best of this,” Gwendolyn pointed out as they moved towards the refreshments table. “You wanna get away from the aerie and make a name for yourself? Take a look around. These ponies could teach you a thing or two, like it or not.”
Gallus scoffed, rolled his eyes, and folded his arms to complete the dismissive trifecta. “Right. What could these lame ponies have for… me…”
Gallus’ eyes went wide, and he lost the ability to speak as a broad, muscular pegasus emerged from the crowd in front of him. Clad in the golden armor of the Royal Guard and shining with all the brilliancy of the midday sun, she flashed the young griffon a broad smile when her eyes found his. A halo of light flared around her as she moved towards him in slow motion, and everything outside of that halo became fuzzy and distant. Somewhere in the background, a saxophone began to play a sultry tune, and Gallus swallowed hard as she slowly slunk her way over to him.
“Hello there.” Her deep contralto voice slid into his ear, swamped his brain, and sent a furious wave of tingles running through his entire body. “Who might you be?”
Gallus made some sort of grunting noise, since he had completely forgotten his name and how to speak.
“Ah, Gwendolyn!” Prince Bean called out, and in the periphery of his vision, Gallus saw a yellow hoof shake the offered claw. “I’m so glad you made it. And Mister Gallus! It’s an honor to see you again, too.”
“Uh huh, yeah, sure,” he dumbly replied, and he shook the offered hoof once without looking at it. His eyes refused to gaze upon anything but the pure white mare before him, and he drank in the lithe curves and powerful muscles that were hidden under her taut coat like a creature who had just found an oasis in the middle of the desert.
The distant sexy saxophone continued to play as Bean conversed with Gwendolyn, and Gallus didn’t hear a word of what the Prince was saying. The mare before him was absolutely, positively perfect in every way, and he wanted to burn the memory of her into his brain with a branding iron. The casual flick of her tail made his wings flare up, her slow blink to look at him made his heart hammer in his chest, and the small kiss she blew to him with puckered lips nearly made him melt on the spot.
“Glad to hear it!” Bean’s words finally made it through the romantic haze that surrounded the griffon, and with an epic amount of force, he forced his eyes to the Equestrian prince. “I hope you enjoy yourselves here at the summit. If you need anything, just find me or Sergeant Clover Leaf here, and we’d be happy to help you.”
“Anything at all,” Clover said in a slow, seductive tone, her focus completely on the infatuated griffon.
She bobbed her eyebrows once to him, let out the most perfect giggle that had ever been, and turned in one slow, smooth motion to her left. Gallus’ stare remained on her rear until she disappeared back into the crowd with the Prince, and for several long moments, there was nothing but silence.
Eventually, sound came back to Gallus’ ears, along with a claw waving in front of his eyes. “Uh, hello? Anygriff home? What are you gawking at?” Gwendolyn demanded.
“I want to join the Royal Guard,” he murmured.
“You want to what?” Gwendolyn glanced in the direction that Clover had gone, and a broad grin split her beak when her gaze came back to him. “Ha! You’re crushing on that guard, aren’t you?”
“I am not!” Gallus’ senses snapped back with the accusation, and he quickly pulled himself together. “I...I just think my future is in the guard, that’s all.”
“You want to flirt with the prince’s bodyguard!” Gwendolyn cackled. “Flirterer!”
“Don’t be stupid. She’s probably old enough to be my mother,” Gallus snorted before wheeling himself away from her and folding his arms tightly. “I just… I like the armor.”
“Armor. Sure,” Gwendolyn said in a highly disbelieving tone and with a laugh. “Deny it all you want, but you’ve got it bad.”
“I don’t have anything.”
Gwendolyn playfully smacked him in the chest with the back of a claw. “C’mon. Maybe we’ll run into her again if we go stand by the band. The saxophonist might serenade you two again, if you ask him nicely.”
“Hold it.” Bean glanced down to Spike, but his shrug indicated he could offer no help. “I don’t think I understood your question, sir. Could you run it by me again?”
“Keek, yer highness, this isnae that pernicketie,” the orange stallion in front of him huffed. “A’ve lost mah schedule o’ events, ‘n’ ah juist need ye tae tell me whaur th’ fair ponies fae Appleoosa ur haudin’ thair modern farmin’ panel at.”
Bean stood there for a moment, the gears in his brain grinding furiously against each other as he tried to figure out what this highlands pony was saying.
“If ye dinnae ken, ye kin juist say it. Ye dinnae need tae staun thare, keekin lik’ an eejit aboot it.”
“I swear those aren’t real words,” Bean muttered.
“Good afternoon, Lord MacGuffin!” Princess Luna emerged from the crowd, a broad smile on her face, and she took a moment to share a friendly hug with the delegate. “Sae guid tae see ye again. Is thare something ah kin hulp ye wi’?”
“Aye, ye kin teach th’ prince ‘ere howfur tae uise his lugs!” MacGuffin replied. “He’s git th’ goofiest keek oan his coupon that a’ve ever seen, bit a’ a’m asking fur is some speirins.”
Said Prince turned his full confusion to Luna, but she ignored him and nodded in understanding. “Aye, but forgive him. He haes nae learned th’ perfect leid yit, ‘n’ ah haven’t hud th’ time tae properly teach him. A’m feart he does nae ken whit ye’r saying. It’s a pity that he does nae comprehend yer request, bit he wull git better in time.”
“He doesn’t git oot muckle, does he? Ye’ll hae tae teach him howfur tae speak properly. He’ll ne’er accomplish anythin’ if he cannae blether tae ithers. Yi’ll need tae wirk oan his accent, tae. Tis sae thick, ah cannae ken a word he’s saying.”
“Dae nae worry,” Luna said in a reassuring tone as Bean desperately tried to figure out what the two of them were saying to each other. “Ah will git him trained in na time. Noo, whit dae yi’ll need a hawn wi’?”
“A’m waantin’ tae ken whaur th’ modern farmin’ panel is bein’ held at,” MacGuffin said, a slight note of exasperation in his words.
“Ah! tis bein’ held in th’ upper loaby, room fifty twa. Ah hawp it wull stairt in fifteen minutes. Dae yi’ll need anither schedule?”
“Aye, lass, If ye kin hain yin.”
Luna nodded, and her magic summoned another tri-folded copy of the summit’s itinerary for the Lord. “‘Ere ye gang. Is thare anythin’ else yi’ll need?”
“Na, that wis it,” MacGuffin said with a grin. “Ta, princess! whin this summit is ower, ye ‘n’ ah shuid sit doon ‘n’ blether sometime.”
“That soonds barry. Ah will be in titch.”
MacGuffin nodded to Prince Bean, gave Luna another hug, and then cheerfully trotted away.
“Such a delightful stallion,” Luna said to herself with a satisfied sigh before turning to Bean. “And what are you staring at?”
“You understood what he was saying?” Bean replied. “How did you understand what he was saying?”
“Did you forget my husband was from the Highlands?” Luna chuckled. “I quickly learned how to switch between ‘regular’ Equestrian and the distinct lilt of the Shetlands when I married Star Struck. It was I who gave my daughter the nickname of wee rascal, after all.”
“She usually slipped when she was in private,” Celestia added from behind Bean, and her wing swiftly draped over him as she kissed his cheek. “She and Star would have long discussions with each other that nopony else could understand.”
“And here I thought the Appleoosa accent was bad.” Bean shook his head but offered a small smile. “Is everything okay?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Celestia said. “How is your leg? Did Doctor Horsenpfeffer look at it?”
“The Doc worked on it a bit, and it’s feeling a lot better now. Spike and I have pretty much stayed right here.”
“Good. Luna and I were on our way to meet with the delegates from Trottingham to discuss the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration, so I thought I would check on you first.”
“I appreciate that. We’re good, right Spike?”
“Piece of cake,” Spike replied with a grin. “We’re just setting ‘em up and knocking ‘em down.”
“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Celestia giggled and gave Bean another kiss. “Keep up the good work.”
“Sir!” Sergeant Clover gave Bean a quick salute, but the deep frown on her face set him on edge.
“Yes, Sergeant? What’s up?”
“Security just picked up this colt over in the Royal Library,” Clover said, her head jerking backwards towards Sergeant Pokey and Corporal Quillpoint. “We thought you’d like to say ‘hello’ while we summon his parents.”
“Colt? What colt? Wait. You don’t mean—”
“Bucket headed lap dog!” A diminutive voice roared with all the fury of a petulant child. “Release me or suffer!”
“Oh. Him.” Bean groaned, and the furious blue colt who was held aloft in Quill’s magic was dropped on the floor in front of him. “Hello, Flint. It’s been awhile. How’s it going?”
The furious former dragon king sneered at the Prince. “Shove it! I have nothing to say to you!”
“Heya Flint,” Spike added with a shrug and a wave.
“Welp.” Flint added in a terse but strangely not unkind tone.
“Oh, I’m doing okay, thanks for asking,” Bean offered. “My leg is acting up a little, but it’s nothing too bad.”
“It’s a shame you weren’t killed on impact,” Flint snarled. “It would have saved me the inconvenience of disposing of you later. Nothing more useless than a lame horse.”
The insult stung a little, but Bean had a retort at the ready. “Or a dull potato peeler. Still on that vengeance kick, are we?”
“Eternally.” Flint’s burning amber eyes reflected his indomitable determination, and if looks could kill, he would have burned a hole through Bean’s midsection by now. “My purpose is as clear as ever, ‘Prince.’ I will mold this meat sack of a body into an alicorn breaking machine that would make that ape-faced puke of a titan’s power seem like a tickle. Stay out of my way when my time comes and I may graciously pass you over.”
Bean shook his head slowly from side to side and drew in a long breath. “So, what were you doing in the library, dare I ask?”
“None of your bleedin’ business!”
“He was caught trying to break into the restricted section,” Quillpoint offered, and the diminutive lord responded to the treachery with a hiss.
“Really? You don’t strike me as the bookworm type, Mister Hearthstone. I don’t suppose you’d like to tell me what forbidden tome you were trying to liberate for some light reading, would you?”
Flint was hesitant to answer. It was clear that he didn’t want to divulge any information to the husband of his sworn enemy, but after a moment, he held his head a bit higher, his stubborn pride on full display. “Fine. I’ll let you fools have a glimpse of your own doom, since you insist upon it. When I was defeated by the Two Nags of Equestria, my former body was left to rot out on some unknown edge of the world. Your nauseating wife would have recorded where it is.”
“You want to go find your old dragon body?” Bean glanced to Spike, then back to the defiant Flint. “What good would that do? It’s bound to be nothing more than bones now, and even those have probably turned back into calcium after all this time.”
Flint gave Bean a condescending, prideful grin. “Like I’d tell you! Now tell me where it is!”
“Why in the world would I know? I wasn’t there.”
Flint snorted. “Surely she told you about her many battles.”
“No, not really. She doesn’t like to talk about the more violent parts of her history. Besides, these days the only things she wants to talk about—other than meetings—is what color to paint the nursery and where to put the diaper changing table.”
“Both of those things sound vile.”
“Meetings? Yes. But you might think differently when you’re a fath—”
Flint bared his teeth and let out a low, feral growl. “Finish that sentence. I dare you.”
Bean grinned. “Oh, c’mon. Once you have your vengeance, what are you going to do with the rest of your life? You’ve got to start thinking about things like this.”
The fanatic colt shook his head in disappointment. “You ponies never think big enough, Highness. My designs are mine alone, but it would be in your best interests to not interfere. When my day of reckoning comes, I will pour out my wrath on any who dared to oppose me. I will reclaim what is mine, by any means necessary.”
“Flint!” A frantic mare’s voice rang out, and a bright blue mare with a short purple mane surged out of the crowd. With one swift move, she snatched Flint up and then pulled him into a tight embrace. “Don’t you ever wander off again, young colt! I was so worried about you! Your father and I have been tearing Canterlot apart!”
“Hello again, Missus Cozy Homes,” Bean offered. “Nice to see you.”
“I am so, so sorry about this, Your Highness,” Cozy replied with a quick dip of her head. “He was right next to me, but then I took a minute to look over a display, and he was gone! I promise, he won’t bother you again.”
“Ma’am,” Quill interrupted, “your son was apprehended while trying to access a restricted area. This is in violation of—”
“Yes, yes,” Cozy cut him off before he could really get going. “I assume the first court date will be next tuesday, right? We’ll be there for the hearing.”
Bean felt a twinge of pity deep in his chest for this poor mother. It would be one thing if Flint Hearthstone was a normal troublemaking colt, but since he was the former fearsome Lord Xedranen, his unwillingness to listen—or to play by rules other than his own—well, Bean could only begin to imagine how much Cozy had dealt with in Flint’s short lifetime as a pony. The mere fact that she automatically knew when his first court date would be was proof enough of how much he’d pushed the boundaries already.
“C’mon, Flint,” Cozy said in a weary, exasperated tone. Her foreleg pulled him into her side, but her grip was so loose that he could break free with a bare minimum of effort, if he chose to. “We need to go find your father.”
“One moment, please,” Bean called out, and Cozy slowly turned to face him, the deep lines in the corners of her eyes growing deeper with her defeated frown. “Look, why don’t we say this was all just one big misunderstanding and let the whole thing drop.”
“Don’t you dare give me your pity!” Flint barked. “I have no use for generosity. It’s a weakness that cripples your kind.”
“I’m not offering this to you, Flint,” Bean said with a hard glare. “I’m offering it to your mother. She needs all the kindness and generosity she can get.”
“Your Highness, I appreciate your offer, but—” Cozy started, but she was cut off by Bean’s raised hoof.
“No buts. I hereby grant him a pardon, for your sake. The whole thing never happened. Please, go back to the summit and enjoy yourself. If you’d like, I’m sure the guards will be happy to keep an eye on Flint while you take care of your duties.”
Bean smiled as Cozy’s body visibly relaxed, and the smile deepened when he saw Flint’s gaze flick up to his mother’s face. This one little act had clearly touched him, and Bean was sure that he was trying to figure out why such a simple thing had resulted in such a dramatic shift in emotion from his pony mother.
Perhaps there was hope for the little psychopathic dragon lord, after all.
Cozy offered one last bow and “Thank you” to Bean before walking away with her son, but Spike was the first to offer his thoughts once they were out of earshot. “Geez, and I thought Garble was bad news. What was all that about bones? And bodies? I know Flint is...Flint, but I had no idea about any of that.”
“It’s a very long and colorful story that I am sure he would be happy to regale you with in vivid and profane ways. But he’s not all bad. It’s buried deep in him—probably about as deep as you can get—but he does have some compassion in him. Did you see how he reacted to his mother’s relief? A very small part of him realized that he’d hurt her, and he felt guilty for it. He’d deny it from now until the end of time, but it was there for just the briefest of moments.”
“Why do you think he’s trying to find his bones?”
“I wish I knew, but it must play into his plans for revenge. I’ll have to tell the princesses about this later, when we get a moment in private. It makes me wonder, though…”
Spike’s gaze remained on the path that Flint had taken in his retreat for a moment before moving back to Bean. “Wonder what?”
“I can’t be sure, but I think he’s still hoarding.”
“He is?”
Bean nodded. “Yeah. He’s hoarding his anger, just like he did before. You, of all creatures, know how dragons like to hold on to things, but usually it’s something physical, like gems or gold. His desires to hold on to his anger, his misery, and his vengeance are just part of his inner nature. He can’t get enough of it, really. He has to have more, but he’ll never have his fill. He’ll just keep hoarding and hoarding those things until he finds something else that’s more important to keep.”
Spike swallowed hard. “Do you think something like that could happen to me?”
Bean patted Spike’s back with a reassuring smile. “It could happen to any creature, really. Even I could go off the deep end, abuse my relationship with Celestia to get what I want, and generally act like a tyrant as I steal as much political power as possible. But I don’t think you or I have to worry. Unlike Flint, we both have friends who care about us, friends who warn us if we start to slip. I bet you’d much rather hoard their friendship, above anything else. Especially the unique friendship you share with Twilight,” he added with a wink.
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Spike said with a grin.
“Just remember what’s really important, and you’ll be fine. Now, why don’t we go say hello to the ponies at the Salt Lick booth? I think I’ll get in some sort of trouble if I don’t.” He licked his lips. “And they probably have snacks.”
* * ✹ * *
“So, you did decide to show up,” Pokey said with a deep frown.
“I told you I would,” Chrysalis said with a smug grin. “Sergeant Clover Leaf, nice to see you.”
Clover gave the queen a terse nod. “How are you, Chrysalis?”
“On my best behavior,” she proudly announced. “I haven’t caused one problem all day long! You should be proud of me, Pokey-wokey.”
“Why are you here, then?” Clover asked.
“Do you really think I want to spend all day, every day, cooped up in Pokey’s house?” she said with a small gasp. “Us bugs need some fresh air too, you know. Besides, I greatly enjoyed the Modern Governance Issues symposium that was put on by the Vanhoover ponies. I’ve got so many wonderful new ideas to inflict—I mean, experiment with on my hive!”
“Better them than us,” Clover muttered. “Glad to hear it, I suppose.”
“So, when do you get off, Pokey-wokey?” Chrysalis purred as she slunk over to her guard and rubbed herself against his armored side. “I think you and I should go out and celebrate my good behavior, don’t you?”
“Not for another four or five hours,” he replied with a long suffering sigh. “You’re going to have to party without me.”
Chrysalis sat in front of him, pouted, and batted her eyelashes at him over her glasses. “But what good is a party without you? Besides, Trigger always gives me the evil eye when I go to the Phoenix Fire alone. I need a chaperone to keep me safe.”
“You’ll just have to wait,” Pokey replied in a forceful tone. “I’ve got to get back to Prince Bean. Excuse me.”
Chrysalis let out a little huff and stomped a forehoof as Pokey pushed past her. “You can’t run from me forever, you know!”
“You’re freeloading in my house,” he called back. “Of course I can’t!”
Chrysalis growled a little with his retort, but her mind went to work on devising a solution. She needed to do something to get Pokey away from this boring summit, but what could she do that would just bring him, and not half of the guard?
Her ear flicked to focus in on the distant sound of a chainsaw, and out of curiosity, she followed the noise until coming to the source just outside one of the side entrances. A green pegasus was busily trimming large branches from the nearby trees into smaller ones, but the flowers that were scattered among the downed leaves gave her an idea.
“Excuse me!” she shouted, and the pegasus quickly turned the chainsaw off. “What are you doing?”
“Ah, just trimming up the dragon-sneeze trees,” he replied with a grin. “Just about done, too, and not a moment too soon.”
Chrysalis grinned. “Can I take some of these flowers?”
The pegasus shrugged. “Knock yourself out. They’re just going to go into the mulch pile for later anyway.”
“Psst! Hey, dragon!”
“Huh?” Spike turned around, and one of his eyebrows slid upward when he caught sight of the multihued mare who was beckoning to him. “Are you talking to me?”
“No, I’m talking to that dragon next to you,” the mare snapped. “Yes, you! Get over here!”
“All right, all right. No need to be pushy about it,” he said as he moved to her. “What do you need?”
“Look, I have an urgent flower delivery for Princess Twilight, but everypony keeps telling me she can’t be bothered right now,” the mare said in a frantic tone, and she produced a large bouquet filled with vibrant red and yellow blossoms. “I don’t want to lose my job over this. Can you give them to her for me?”
Spike took a step back. “Nuh uh, no way! Those are dragon sneeze flowers!”
“Please?!” the mare hissed. “Just be quick about it, and you’ll be fine.”
“Who is giving Princess Twilight—”
“Just do it!” The mare shoved the bouquet into Spike’s arms, and before he could protest, she was gone.
Spike quickly held the bundle of allergens away from him and he took off in a quick jog. It was just about time for the unveiling of the Citizens of Equestria statue, so maybe she needed these as part of that. Whatever the reason, he just wanted to get rid of them before they forced him into another sneezing fit.
“May I have your attention, please?” Celestia’s voice boomed out. “We are about to unveil the Statue! Could I please have everypony come to the main stage?”
“No, no, no!” Spike groaned as a wall of ponies suddenly appeared in front him, and he danced around to find an opening while his eyes began to water. “Excuse me! Number one assistant here, with an urgent delivery for Princess Twilight!”
It was at times like these that Spike wished he had a pair of wings, just like every other dragon that he’d met. He made a mad dash for the right flank of the crowd, his nostrils burning with the desire to purge the irritation that had invaded, and he knew he didn’t have much time.
“Is everypony here?” Princess Cadence called out. “Good! It is my great honor to formally dedicate this statue, which each of you have contributed one gemstone for its creation. Like each stone, each city is unique, special, and when we combine all of the parts together, we end up with something great. Each of you—and the cities that you represent—make Equestria the magical, marvelous land that it is.”
Spike skidded around one pony, squeezed in between two others, and crawled under a third. The urge to sneeze was overwhelming, and he wasn’t going to be able to hold out for much longer.
“And so, I, Princess Cadence, dedicate this Citizens of Equestria statue to every pony who plays their part, no matter how big or how small!”
Cheers erupted from the crowd, and Spike let out a small whoop of joy as Twilight came into view. He put on an extra burst of speed, but just as he was about to rid himself of the torment, Baked Bean stepped in front of him.
The resulting impact took Bean off his hooves and shoved the bouquet right in Spike’s face. Unable to hold back the urge any longer, he stood and sucked in several halting breaths.
The resulting ball of fire that came with the sneeze hit the rounded base of the statue and knocked out the supporting gemstones. The whole thing collapsed to the tile floor with a loud crash, and the delegates gasped as the stones bounced and slid away from the impact site.
“Spike!” Twilight shouted over the stunned silence.
“It wasn’t my fault!” he protested. “Somepony told me to give you these flowers!”
A delighted cackle rang out in the hall, and Spike caught sight of the tail of the pushy mare just as she flounced out a back door. A groan of annoyance followed, and Sergeant Pokey began to curse under his breath as he gave chase.
“Catch me if you can, Pokey-poo!”
* * ✹ * *
Stars and sun above, when did she get to be so fast?
Sergeant Pokey’s wings tore the evening air into shreds as he pursued the destructive changeling. That infuriating bug had actually attacked the Princess Summit! It was the most foolhardy, the most idiodic thing she could possibly do, and yet she’d brazenly waltzed right into the middle of it and destroyed the Citizens of Equestria statue!
The corners of his mouth twitched upwards as her tail darted down a random alleyway in Canterlot’s downtown district. He really should have seen this coming, and a small part of him did enjoy the thrill of the chase.
He was going to make her pay for her insolence, once he caught her.
His wings locked into a sharp knife turn, and Chrysalis let out a whoop of delight when she felt his hooves grasp for her haunches. “C’mon, Pokey! Try to keep up!”
The queen darted left, but Pokey wasn’t able to match the move. Instead, he shot straight up, regained his bearings, and launched himself at the fleeing queen. His grin grew as the air ripped past his ears, and a high-pitched whistle rolled off his armor as he bore down for the kill.
Chrysalis was fast, but she wasn’t fast enough. Pokey tackled her at near terminal velocity, tumbled end over end down the cobblestone street with her in his grip, and ended the pursuit by pinning her against the side of a building with his forehooves on her shoulders.
“Not bad, my sweet babboo,” Chrysalis panted, but with a deep and satisfied smile.
“You actually had the gall to attack the summit!” he spat, his breaths just as ragged as hers.
“I told you not to underestimate me.” She bobbed her eyebrows, then dipped her head to give him a sultry look over her glasses. “I always have a plan, Pokey-poo. Besides, strictly speaking, I didn’t do anything. That little dragon was the one who destroyed the statue.”
“Because you gave him those flowers!”
Chrysalis scoffed. “Oh, please. The delegates will put it back together, and they’ll share some sickeningly sweet message about how the whole is made up of many individual parts with each other while they’re at it. There was no lasting damage done. In fact, I would dare to say that I did you ponies a favor. You wouldn’t have learned anything without me.”
“You are ridiculous. You know that?” Pokey shook his head, but his grin grew slightly. “What am I going to do with you?”
“How about you buy me a drink?” Chrysalis nodded to the sign that hung above their heads. “I don’t know about you, but I am positively parched.”
Pokey glanced up, and he snorted. “The Phoenix Fire. You attacked the princess summit just so you could get me to chase you into a bar?”
“It worked, didn’t it?” she cooed. “C’mon. Either you go get a drink in the name of protecting Equestria from a dire threat, or you can head back to the palace and fill out a mountain of paperwork that you know will be waiting because of what happened. What will you choose, I wonder?”
Pokey grunted, rolled his eyes, and then shook his head as he released Chrysalis. “Fine, but for the record, I caught you.”
“Sure. You go ahead and think that, if it makes you feel better.” Chrysalis flicked her tail across his face, then swung her hips as she sashayed through the front door of Trigger’s tavern.
“I loathe you,” Pokey muttered.
“I loathe you too, my sweet babboo,” Chrysalis called back.
* * ✹ * *