//------------------------------// // The New Normal // Story: A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake // by The Dimension Traveler //------------------------------// A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake Chapter 2: The New Normal Tom looked around as he and the rest of his newfound friends exited the library Twilight Sparkle called home. “My sister and I must return to Canterlot, but we will see you soon. I wish you the best of luck,” Celestia said as she and Luna boarded a chariot. “I, too, wish you well,” Luna waved as the chariot took off. The eight left behind watched as they vanished in the distance. “Well, no time like the present! We can’t have you stumbling around like a drunk,” Rainbow chirped and started dragging Tom and Twilight away. “Wait! Where are we going?!” Tom squawked, his wings popping open of their own accord. “Whitetail Woods, it’s a nice out of the way place where we can whip you into shape!” Rainbow told him happily. “I suddenly feel like a lamb being sent to the slaughter,” Tom protested mildly, but that was the extent of his resistance. He recognized the importance of, as Celestia had called it, physical therapy. “I hope you’re prepared to regret breathing, because I’m pretty sure Dash’s ‘training’ is just an excuse to be sadistic to a poor bookworm,” Twilight complained, but the smirk in her voice made it clear to Tom she was mostly joking. The fact she wasn’t going to have to endure the exercise probably also helped to put her in a jovial mode. “You know, I may have been a theater nerd, but I happened to like PE. However, that was before I was forcefully transplanted into a soft, lazy geek,” Tom shot back. Dash looked questioningly at Tom, “Talking to Twilight.” “Oh, cool,” Dash said and continued shoving Tom and Twilight along. “Did you just call me a GEEK?! How dare you?! I am Queen of Nerds and the Lady of Dweebs, thank you very much. Never degrade me by calling me a geek again!” Twilight said in her most pompous tones. “What about the Dame of Dorks?” Tom teased. “That’s even worse than geek…” Twilight fake growled. “I thought geek and dork are the same thing?” Rainbow asked. “Geeks are obsessed and intelligent. Dweebs are intelligent and socially inept. Dorks are socially inept and obsessed. Nerds are the perfect harmony of intelligent, socially inept, and obsessed,” Tom explained. Dash favored him with a flat look. “You guys are weird,” Rainbow said flatly, “Anyway; we’re here, so it’s time to get you walking right!” The rest of the day passed in a blur for Tom. It was a painful, sweaty blur, from which Rainbow prevented any escape. However, at the end of it, Tom had mastered the basic ability to walk without falling over his own hooves. He could also somewhat competently get up in the air with those annoying wings, but getting down without causing injury and devastation around him was still beyond Tom’s grasp. “Whaddaya want from me? I used to only have four limbs!” Tom moaned as he extracted himself from his latest crater. “That excuse didn’t fly with Twilight and it won’t work for you! Back up in the air!” Dash barked. “No. I’m tired, hungry, and I’m going to be completely useless in the morning. I haven’t eaten all day! I’m going to find something to eat,” Tom put his foot down. Dash opened her mouth to say something, but the monstrous growl that came from her own stomach stopped her. “Food sounds good,” She said meekly. “So what do you ponies eat? I’m going to presume herbivorous, but do you eat grass and stuff?” Tom asked. “Nopony eats grass unless they’re desperate. Most ponies eat fruits, vegetables, hay, eggs, and flowers for meals, but some eat fish, like me, or other meats,” Rainbow answered. “Please don’t eat meat. Fish is fine, but meat…ugh,” Twilight shuddered, “I’ve eaten meat, usually with the Griffon diplomats, but it was so rare it might as well be raw and that kinda ruined it for me.” “I don’t know if I’ll be able to live without bacon,” Tom joked. “We have something better: haybacon!” Rainbow declared. “Blasphemer, there is nothing better than bacon,” Tom said in disbelief. “Well, I know what we’re getting to eat. There’s a diner in town that serves breakfast all day and they have the best haybacon. We can get a doggy bag and take it home so you don’t embarrass yourself,” Rainbow teased. “Might as well use the opportunity to try magic,” Twilight chimed in helpfully. So it was that Tom found himself staring down a slice of haybacon while Twilight was rambling on in his mind about proper telekinetic techniques. “Staring at it isn’t going to get it eaten, unless you want me to eat it for you,” Rainbow drawled. “Fine, all I’ve got to do is trust in the Force. Should be simple, right?” Tom asked rhetorically and, following Twilight’s instruction, felt out for the slice of haybacon with magic. He was so surprised when a magenta aura sprang to life around the haybacon that he nearly dropped it. He maintained his focus, however, and slowly, steadily brought the haybacon to his mouth. “So?” Dash prompted. “One that was a lot easier than I was afraid it was going to be. Two, I hate you for being right about haybacon being amazing. Three, quit hogging the rest of the food!” With that Tom began to eat properly, moving things about with magic with little issue. “Of course telekinesis wasn’t a hard task; even newborn foals can do it. It’s the most basic expression of magic every unicorn can do. It’s only when you start getting into actual spells that things get more complicated. You have to manage the power to flow ratios, the spell form, the mana gating, your corona, and Clover’s thaums equivalency theorem, among other things,” Twilight lectured, but Tom mostly tuned her out for the sake of eating. Several minutes later, Tom noticed Rainbow Dash was staring at him. “What?” He asked. “Oh, I was just noticing how you’re a much clearer eater than Twi,” Rainbow answered. “Huh?” Tom was understandably confused. “Well, Twi is the messiest eater I know. I never knew it was possible for a full grown mare to wear more of a hayburger than she actually ate until I met Twilight. I guess it kinda just hits it home how, even when I’m seeing her face, you’re not Twi,” Rainbow explained herself. “I am not that bad!” Twilight protested the insult, which Tom relayed. Rainbow snorted in amusement. “You totally are! Every time you ate a hayburger it was like watching a slasher movie! Bits of hayburger gore flying everywhere! Do you even remember the state you left The Hay Burger in when we took you there the day after your ascension? You ate fifty burgers and the staff started handing out ponchos for the ‘splash zone’! You stuck your face in and just started mauling them! Do I need to continue?” Dash quirked her eyebrow. “I think she’s sufficiently whipped,” Tom assured Rainbow. Twilight’s howls of anguish and piteous moans in the back of his mind were proof enough of that. “Element of Loyalty my plot,” Twilight finally sulked. Tom wisely chose not to relay that. Tom and Rainbow soon finished their meal and Tom was looking forward to bed. “If tomorrow is going to be anything like today, I’m going to need to get some sleep,” Tom said. “No need to worry about that. Tomorrow is strictly light stretches for you. We wouldn’t want to overwork your muscles to the point of self injury, after all,” Rainbow casually dismissed his concerns. “There is a God,” Tom breathed in relief. “Huh?” Rainbow was confused. “Human saying, don’t worry about it,” Tom waved the question away. Rainbow left soon thereafter and Tom wandered up to Twilight’s room, where Spike was already asleep. Tom flopped on the bed, but it didn’t take him long to figure out that he wouldn’t be joining Spike in dreamland anytime soon. Twilight, somehow, was asleep while Tom tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position, but the unfamiliarity of Twilight’s body combined with those pesky wings popping of their own accord made that an impossible feat. So Tom did what he usually did when he found himself with a case of insomnia. He slipped quietly out of the library and took a moonlight stroll. “Twilight?” Tom had been wandering aimlessly when he heard a familiar voice. His attention snapped back into focus and he spotted Rarity poking her head out a door and a cat escaping out into the evening. “Er, I’m Tom, remember?” Tom reminded her. “Oh, I’m so sorry, please forgive me darling, it had completely slipped my mind. I was just letting Opal out for the night when I spotted you. Come in, I’m no stranger to sleepless nights and you seem like you could use a nice cup of tea,” Rarity opened the door and beckoned Tom in. He hesitated for only a moment before allowing himself to be lead inside the Carousel Boutique. “Any requests?” Rarity asked as she levitated a teapot towards her stove. “I’ll trust your judgment,” Tom replied. “I just got a box of passion flower tea in from the Flower Triplets that I think will do wonders for you,” Choice made, Rarity pulled down the blend and started to prepare it, “So, what brought about this nighttime wandering?” “Even when I was young, walking around in the dead of night brought me some measure of peace when I couldn’t sleep. Just feeling the world at rest around me, it helped. It’s also helping me get a feel for the town, but that’s not what you’re asking, is it?” Tom shook his head ruefully. “No, it isn’t,” Rarity agreed while passing a cup of tea. Tom drank it, but didn’t really register the taste. “Mostly it’s being in Twilight’s body. Everything feels so different that I can’t find a comfortable position to lie in. The fur, the tail, the wings, the horn, and so on, it’s all so different from what I’m used to, and that’s not even mentioning the difference in plumbing, as it were. But I would be lying if I said that was the only thing keeping me up,” Tom sighed. “I can’t even imagine everything you must be dealing with, not the least of which is your friends and family from where you came from,” Rarity said sympathetically. “I’m probably never going to see them again. I wonder what they think happened to me. Did I just vanish without a trace and a manhunt turned up nothing? Did my body just go catatonic while my consciousness wound up here? I’ll never know and it doesn’t help to dwell on it, but…” Tom trailed off. “But you can’t help it, at least for now. As much as I want to tell you to not give up hope, even with my limited knowledge of spellcraft, I know that’s optimistic to the point of ludicrousness,” Rarity’s words were like ripping off a band-aid: painful, but necessary. “My life, as I knew it, is over,” Tom could feel his eyes start to water, “I was in my final year for my Master’s degree. I wanted to be a history teacher specializing in mythology. Now it’s meaningless.” “Did you have a significant other?” Rarity asked suddenly. “No, my college workload didn’t really leave room for that kind of relationship,” Tom answered. “Well, I’m sure as soon as we get this situation with you and Twilight sorted we’ll find you someone. And maybe we can even get Twilight to start dating!” Rarity seemed so enthralled with the idea that Tom couldn’t help but start laughing. “That’s exactly what I need, someone to play matchmaker for me,” Tom snarked, “Hey, maybe me and Twilight could date each other?” “The two of you being pulled together by extraordinary circumstances and finding romance? EEEE! That’s so romantic!” Rarity squealed. “Don’t think for an instant I don’t know what you’re up to!” Tom grumbled. “Is it working, darling?” Rarity fluttered her eyelashes. “Yes, and it’s annoying me!” Tom harrumphed and Rarity giggled. “Even in the darkest times, there’s light somewhere, if you care to look,” Rarity said sagely. “Yeah,” Tom agreed before yawning, “Thanks for the tea and the friendly ear. I think I can manage to catch some Zs now.” “You are quite welcome. Now off to bed with you, it’s late and well past your bed time, I’m sure,” Rarity joked. “Goodnight, Rarity,” Tom did his level best to ignore the white mare’s humor, but his trembling lips gave him away. Tom soon found his way back to the library treehouse and wearily climbed up the steps to Twilight’s room before falling into bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. That night was filled with sweet dreams, courtesy of a certain moon princess.