We begin our story under calm blue waters, near the beautiful green island of Bikini Atoll. Beneath those tropical seas, we find the town of Bikini Bottom, a peaceful place where everyone is happy and-
Wait a minute! Hold your sea horses!
Things were usually happy in Bikini Bottom, but on this day, panic ensued across the streets. Sirens wailed; frightened fish swam in all directions. Police helicopters buzzed over the town; squad cars blocked the intersections. The situation was so bad, classes at the school of fish were cancelled!
Really?
Oh, come on! You try doing a joke about fish! See how easy that is!
In front of the Krusty Krab restaurant, a crowd had gathered. Mr. Krabs, the owner, was talking to the reporters. They clustered around, waving microphones under his nose, pressing cameras into his face.
“Can you tell us what is happening, Mr. Krabs?” A young Daily Clam reporter asked.
“Wait! Please settle down,” Mr. Krabs said, waving his claws. “One question at a time. Please! One at a time!”
“The people of Bikini Bottom want to know – What’s going on inside?” Perch Perkins, Bikini Bottom’s favorite newsman, asked.
“We’ve got a situation in there that I’d rather not talk about until my manager gets here.”
Suddenly, a sleek black sports car pulled up to the curb.
“Look!” Mr. Krabs cried. “There he is!”
All eyes – and eyestalks – turned to see SpongeBob SquarePants step out from the car. His face was somber, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses. In his hand, the determined sponge carried an important looking briefcase.
“It’s SquarePants!” A fish cried out, with awe.
After SpongeBob stepped out the car, proceeding to walk towards Mr. Krabs, a few other creatures swam out from behind him: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, all wearing sunglasses and business suits. They swam beside SpongeBob, as he approached Mr. Krabs and tore off his sunglasses.
“Talk to me, Krabs,” He said, in a commanding tone.
“It started out as a simple order,” Mr. Krabs sobbed. “A Krabby Patty with cheese.”
“What went wrong?” Scootaloo asked.
“When the customer took a bite-” Mr. Krabs choked, sobbing. “-there was no cheese! No cheese on the sandwich! This has never happened before!”
Mr. Krabs broke down, covering his eyestalks with his claws and sobbed. SpongeBob slapped him on the snout.
“Get ahold of yourself, Eugene,” SpongeBob said. “Agent Bloom, what’s the status on the restaurant?”
“Restaurant’s secure sir,” Apple Bloom responded. “Target is just inside that there door.”
“Agent Belle, any others inside the restaurant?”
“None at all, sir,” Sweetie Belle responded.
“We’re going in.”
Mr. Krabs stopped crying, sighing with relief. SpongeBob turned and faced the restaurant. Reporters and innocent bystanders backed away under his stern gaze. The crowd parted, making a path for him – a path leading to the front door of the Krusty Krab.
When SpongeBob and the CMC boldly entered the restaurant, the dining room was deserted. Except for one very frightened fish sitting alone at a table. On a tray before him sat a Krabby Patty with a single bite missing. Fearlessly, SpongeBob SquarePants approached the anxious fish.
“Who… Who are you?” The fish asked, shakily.
“I’m the manager of this establishment,” SpongeBob replied, in a businesslike tone. “These here are three of my best agents.”
The CMC said nothing, but they nod to the fish. SpongeBob slapped his briefcase case down at the table. The nervous fish jumped at the sound.
“Everything is gonna be fine,” SpongeBob assured, calmly. “Agent Loo, key please.”
Scootaloo reached into her suit pocket, pulling out a singular golden key and handed it to SpongeBob. SpongeBob inserted the key into the briefcase, opening it. The poor fish just shook his head.
“I’m really scared, man.”
“Could you three please keep the suspect calm?” SpongeBob asked.
“Yes sir!” The CMC salute, in unison.
They all swam toward the fish, who was having a really hard time keeping his cool under the pressure of this situation.
“You got a name?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Phil,” He answered, with a nod.
“You got a family, Phil?” Scootaloo asked.
The fish choked up, starting to cry. Apple Bloom waved her hoof in front of Phil’s face.
“Keep it together, Phil! Stay with me,” She said. “Let’s hear about that family.”
“I… I got a lovely wife and two beautiful children,” Phil stammered.
“That’s what it’s all about, Phil,” SpongeBob replied.
As Phil watched nervously, SpongeBob reached into his briefcase while looking toward Phil.
“I’ve only got one shot at this,” SpongeBob warned. “Gotta have the right tools for the job…”
SpongeBob paused, rifling through his briefcase.
“Bingo!” He whispered, looking up.
Slowly, SpongeBob pulled out a pair of shiny, golden tongs.
“Now I want you to do us a favor, Phil,” SpongeBob said.
“Wh-what?” The fish gasped.
“Say cheese!” SpongeBob and the CMC said, in unison.
Slowly, with an epic cinematic feel, SpongeBob positions a perfectly cut slide of cheddar cheese along the center of the bun. The CMC watch in anticipation, as Phil’s smile crosses his face, gratification forming upon his expression. Slowly… Slowly… Slowly…
BAM!!!
Minutes later, SpongeBob kicked the front door to the Krusty Krab wide open, pleased with himself. There he stood, carrying Phil safely in his arms and the CMC in an epic pose, side-by-side with the manager himself.
“Order up!” SpongeBob smiled.
All the customers cheered, flocking to fill the tables. SpongeBob and the Crusaders were carried into the air, high upon the crowd’s shoulders as they crossed through the town. Confetti fluttered like snow all around them, even the Mane Six and Spike were cheering from the sides.
“That’s ma sister ya’ll!” Applejack called.
“I’m so proud of you, little buddy!” Rainbow Dash added.
“You’re an inspiration to us all, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity cried, tearfully.
“Three cheers for the manager and his special agents!” Spike cried.
“Hip, hip – HONK!”
“What?” SpongeBob said sleepily.
“Hip, hip – HONK!”
<>
“SPONGEBOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The dream was over as SpongeBob SquarePants sat on his bed, rocking a bit, and blinking his eye. The Mane Six, Spike, and the CMC had gathered around his bed, clutching their hooves to their ears as the alarm clock honked as loudly as a foghorn.
“HONK!”
“SpongeBob! Can ya please turn that doohickey off?!” Applejack yelled.
SpongeBob quickly turned his alarm clock off before it honked again. The ponies and the little dragon all sigh in relief, as they uncovered their ears.
“Boy oh boy,” Spike sighed. “Nobody’s going back to sleep after that.”
“Hooray!” SpongeBob cried, throwing off his blanket. “Guys! I had that dream again.”
“What dream?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, that’s right! You’ve only been here a day… Anyway, ever since Mr. Krabs started building a second restaurant, I’ve been having this dream for the past few months. In my dream, I’m the new manager!”
“Well you certainly have good aspirations to manage this new restaurant,” Rarity admired.
“You know what’s funny?” SpongeBob asked. “This time, during my dream, you guys were there too! Three of you were my best agents!”
“Best agents, huh?” Rainbow Dash smirked, pointing to herself. “I’m one of the three, right? I know I’d make a great secret agent.”
“Actually… No.”
Rainbow Dash’s cocky smile disappeared, her eyes widening and her pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks.
“NO?!”
SpongeBob shook his head with a smile and pointing his yellow finger towards the Crusaders. They just looked at each other strangely, even looking around to make sure no one else was standing beside them.
“Us?” They said, pointing their hooves at themselves.
“Oh sure! It made sense to me,” SpongeBob smiled. “You three are currently my new best friends… Just don’t let Patrick know I said that.”
“Wow, you girls are very lucky,” Pinkie Pie replied. “Or maybe that’s just the narrators subtle way of indicating who the ‘mane’ protagonists for this ‘Cinematic Adventure’ is going to be!”
Boo! *Hurls a tomato*
“Well, in any case, we’re mighty honored to be in a dream with ya, SpongeBob,” Apple Bloom said.
“Anyways, you said you’ve had this dream for months?” Twilight asked.
“Yep, and it’s finally coming true… Today!”
SpongeBob raced toward his calendar hanging upon the wall.
“Sorry about this, calendar,” SpongeBob said.
He tore away yesterday’s page and on the date at the bottom of the next page, the calendar read March 7th. SpongeBob stepped back, admiring today’s date.
“Today is the grand opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs is going to announce the new manager!”
“The Krusty Krab 2?” Rainbow Dash spoke, raising an eyebrow. “Might as well forget building a second restaurant and just have a renovation of the single place.”
“I know, right?” Spike agreed.
“Meow,” Gary said.
As SpongeBob admired the date, he turned as the little snail slid over to his side.
“Who’s it gonna be, Gary?” SpongeBob asked, thinking. “I know. Why don’t we ask my wall of three hundred-seventy four consecutive Employee of the Month Awards?”
The group all turns toward the wall SpongeBob was referring to and their eyes widen. Low and behold, there was an exact total of three hundred and seventy four posters of SpongeBob SquarePants, the same signature smile, and all of them saying ‘Employee of the Month’.
“SpongeBob SquarePants!” All 374 pictures of SpongeBob yelled.
“Boy howdy, that’s a mighty fine collection ya got there, SpongeBob!” AppleBloom replied.
“Ya’ll can say that again,” Applejack nodded.
“Hold on! 374 Employee of the Month pictures?!” Pinkie asked.
Pinkie Pie quickly pulls out a calculator from her mane and proceeds to punching in a bunch of numbers.
“Hmm… Lemme see: There’s twelve months in a year and SpongeBob has held the award every Month. Three hundred seventy four, divided by 12…”
“SpongeBob! You mean to tell us you’ve been working for the Krusty Krab for thirty years?!” Twilight asked, shocked.
“Wow, that was a pretty good guess, Twilight!” Pinkie smiled.
“Well actually, if we’re going to be technical, thirty ONE years,” SpongeBob replied. “… And a couple months, but that’s just details.”
“Do you really think SpongeBob will actually get that promotion after all this time?” Fluttershy wondered.
“Of course, he will, he’s SpongeBob SquarePants!” Scootaloo replied. “It’s obvious no sea creature we know in this town works just as hard as our buddy here and Mr. Krabs has to be crazy not to give him the job.”
“Well, SpongeBob is really the ‘only’ creature we know,” Sweetie Belle replied. “But all the same SpongeBob, if you think this is your big day, you have our full support!”
“Hooray for me!” SpongeBob cheered.
SpongeBob quickly runs into the bathroom to get ready for work. As his friends wait outside, they could hear him singing, ‘I’m ready. Promotion! I’m ready. Promotion!’.
Meanwhile, in the shower, SpongeBob removed the paper off a bar of soap. He proceeds to consume the entire bar, chews it up a bit, and swallows it. Then, he soaked the water through his body until he inflated so large-like, he could hardly fit the entire bathroom. Holding his nose and closing his mouth, SpongeBob made two fists and strained. Soon, bubbles and water poured through all his sponge holes as SpongeBob resumed his normal size, clean as a whistle.
The Mane Six and the gang watch as SpongeBob danced his way toward the closet, still thrilled about his soon-to-be promotion. He searched until he found the perfect square pants for this special day. Course, they were all the same square shorts and shirt he became well known for. But still, he managed to find an outfit he believed was his best and quickly got dressed. The ponies just turn toward Rarity, knowing she is more keen on fashion than most of them. She just turn to them with a look that said, ‘What?’.
After getting dressed, SpongeBob rushed back toward the bathroom. He takes out a toothbrush and squeezed the tube of toothpaste till he received just the right amount. He proceeds to brush his teeth, then his ears, and even his own eyeballs until they sparkled. SpongeBob admired his reflection in the mirror.
“Cleanliness is next to managerliness,” He declared.
“Managerliness?” Spike asked Twilight.
“Not a real word, Spike,” Twilight spoke. “But I do admire his enthusiasm.”
Soon, after the happy sponge gave little Gary his breakfast, he skips off to work. The Mane Six, the CMC, and Spike follow him out of the house as he sings:
“I’m ready. Promotion! I’m ready. Promotion!”
SpongeBob sang until he got to Squidward’s house, right next door. Before the group knew it, they witnessed SpongeBob opened the door and walk right in… Without even bothering to knock. They just turned to each other, silent and nervous, knowing a certain someone won’t be happy.
<>
Speaking of which, Squidward was enjoying the only thing he did enjoy on a typical workday – his morning shower. As he lathered himself up, he hummed a little diddy.
“La da dee, la da doo, la da dum. Lad da dee, la da doo, la da dum…”
Suddenly, Squidward felt something scratch along his back. He opens one eye and noticed SpongeBob, standing right next to him, in his shower.
“SpongeBob!” Squidward screamed, covering himself. “What are you doing in here?!”
“I have to tell you something, Squidward,” SpongeBob grinned.
But poor Squidward was in no mood to listen.
“Whatever it is, can’t it wait until work?”
“There’s no shower at work.”
Squidward wiped the soap from his eyes, the poor guy was getting angrier by the minute.
“What do you want?”
“I just wanted to say I’ll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.”
<>
Outside, the Mane Six and the rest were waiting anxiously outside Squidward’s house when they heard a loud ‘GET OUT’!!! They turn as SpongeBob flew straight out of the house, soared high in the air, and landed with a loud ‘SQUISH!’ next to a big rock.
“SPONGEBOB!” The CMC shouted, in unison.
Worried, they rushed toward SpongeBob SquarePants who seemed rather cheerful despite the nasty crash.
“Are you all right, buddy?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah, it’s all good,” SpongeBob replied. “I think Squidward’s a little cranky this morning.”
“Seems like that there squid’s always cranky in the mornin’,” Applejack noted.
“Actually, Squidward’s an Octopus, hence the six tentacles for legs and two of ‘em for arms,” Pinkie Pie corrected. “Can’t blame you making that mistake. Seeing as how even the two narrators got it wrong in the last chapter.”
Give me a break! I was working all night!
Easy, pal… Just take it easy… Let it go! Moving forward!
Just then, the big rock pops open and there was Patrick, SpongeBob’s best friend, stuck to the bottom.
“That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2!” Patrick said, in his sweet, dopey voice. “Congratulations, buddy!”
Patrick hopped himself off the rock and gave SpongeBob a high five.
“Oh thanks, Patrick!” SpongeBob replied. “And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple.”
“I love being purple,” Patrick clapped.
“Hmm… Well, well, well,” Spike smirked. “A starfish with good taste in color.”
“Heh heh, he sure does,” Twilight chuckled. “Anyways SpongeBob, what do you boys have planned for tonight?”
“We’re going to the place where all the action is!”
The moment SpongeBob spoke, Patrick’s eyes bugged out.
“You don’t mean—”
“Yes, Patrick, I mean—”
“GOOFY GOOBER’S ICE CREAM PARTY BOAT!” SpongeBob and Patrick cheered, simultaneously.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes widen, and she gasped loudly, her whole mane stuck up in excitement.
“Did you say an ‘Ice Cream Party Boat’?!?!” Pinkie smiled.
“No, no, no… Not ‘an’ Ice Cream Party Boat… I mean THE Ice Cream Party Boat!” SpongeBob cheered. “The greatest eating establishment in all Bikini Bottom!”
“But I thought you said the Krusty Krab was number one eating establishment,” Fluttershy points out.
“For the Krusty Krab, yes! But Goofy Goober’s is the place where all the coolest fish, like us, attend for some of the best ice cream ever made. Patrick and I have been going to that old place since we were kids!”
“Ooh, ooh, ooh! Remember the ‘Goofy Goober’ jingle?!” Patrick asked, excitedly.
“You bet I do, Patrick! A five, six, seven, eight—”
Patrick clapped so hard, the rock came down and squashed them both. When it pops up again, SpongeBob and Patrick were both wearing their favorite headgear: Peanut-shaped Goofy Goober Hats.
The CMC and Spike, especially Pinkie, clapped their hooves enthusiastically while the rest just watched as the boys took a bow.
“Is it just me or does this place sound like one of those kiddie restaurants?” Rainbow whispered to Applejack.
“Furget it, Dash,” Applejack whispered back. “They’re on a roll.”
Just then, SpongeBob glanced at his watch and his eyes widen.
“I’d better get going!” SpongeBob gasped, pulling off his hat. “Bye Patrick. I don’t want to be late for my big promotion.”
“Good luck, SpongeBob!” Patrick said. “See ya girls!”
As he ran down the sidewalk to the Krusty Krab and sang ‘I’m ready! Promotion!’, Pinkie Pie quickly turned her head while the others followed.
“Hey Patty, you coming to the ceremony?!” Pinkie called.
“Don’t worry, Pinkie!” Patrick called. “I’ll be there; I’ve got a little surprise for SpongeBob!”
“Ooh… I do love surprises! We can’t wait! See ya!”